College Humor - Real reason your circumcised

timoppenheimer · 2014-04-29T22:23:12+00:00

I was snipped.

I discovered all of this about a year ago.

The video is hilarious because it is all true. There is no embellishment here. Kellogg literally thought that bland foods such as corn flakes could be fed to children in order to reduce their masturbatory habits.

There was another procedure for men that didn't catch on. It was for the children of parents too squeemish for circumcision. These boys had their foreskins tugged over their glans's and then a silver staple was inserted through their foreskins and glans's and out the other sides, where the excess silver was cut off. Anytime the boy got an erection after that, the foreskin would tear painfully, ripped by the silver staple.

It's hard to describe how angry I truly am about my circumcision.

Revoran · 2014-04-30T05:14:29+00:00

The only thing they failed to mention is that "it's my religion lol" isn't a good reason to cut off your child's dick. For one children can't consent to permanent body modification, secondly, children aren't born a certain religion - they might grow up to be atheists or convert to a different religion).

Oh and with the HIV / HPV / penile cancer they failed to mention the critical fact: infants don't have sex, so there's no reason not to wait 'till they are older. And penile cancer is rare and only found in old men.

The comparison to female circumcision is perfectly valid, but it's best not to mention it without a great deal of explanation otherwise feminists and uninformed idiots get angry that we are comparing genital mutilation to ... um, other genital mutilation. Edit: In reality, some types of FGM are more severe than circumcision while other types of FGM are less severe - but ALL types of FGM are illegal whereas MGM is legal.

They didn't want to make too many waves. Let's start small and get people asking questions, rather than driving them away by sounding crazy or hateful. Baby steps.

Good video A+ would show to friends without cringing.

ohples · 2014-04-30T05:27:44+00:00

Glad my dad stopped this cycle.

Doubledogs · 2014-04-30T00:27:35+00:00

My parents have the gall to tell me to get over it. I will never get over it, and nothing in my life makes me more upset than the fact that I was circumcised. (And that's saying something, my life is preposterously fucked up.)

sean_robinson132 · 2014-04-30T20:05:11+00:00

Adam conover is a fucking awesome guy.

Anyone have suggestions for topics he should cover as comedy? Give me some good ones, and i will make sure he gets them.

AlexReynard · 2014-04-30T09:34:33+00:00

FUCK YEAH. I cannot even BEGIN to express my near-volcanic relief at seeing some mainstream discussion of why circumcision is bullshit. It could've gone a little farther, but actually, I think it went just far enough without losing the audience. And goddam am I glad they mentioned the carbolic acid. Not only shows Kellogg to be the psychotic madman he was, but you gotta admit, people pay more attention when they have a female victim to think about, even a hypothetical one.

Plus, the bit about penises looking weird was a brilliantly simple little rebuttal.

SheepInWolvesClothin · 2014-04-29T23:30:31+00:00

It wasn't JUST infant masturbation (which was considered a disease by many), it also was part of the whole 'It's cleaner' thing. Way way back in tribal times (and more recent tribal areas as well), the tribes that were more concerned about health/sanitation were pretty much guaranteed to eventually pick up salami snipping as a practice. Unfortunately, first world countries that don't circumcise their boys don't have a significant increase in penis infections.

And Mr. Kellog wasn't the only health food guy at the time pushing for circumcision. Mr. Graham, of graham cracker fame, also was a major penis piercing pusher.

AND the AIDS thing is wrong. I don't know why anti-mgm groups play this compromise card. The first major study to show that circumcision prevents AIDS was taking groups of people from AIDS-heavy Africa... group A was circumcised, given condoms, and taught about AIDS prevention. Group B didn't get shit. The more recent studies are bogus as well.

ALSO, don't forget about money! Doctors get paid to perform surgeries. Willy whacking is a surgery. With ~4m births every year in the US, ~1/2 being male, and let's say ~1/2 being circumcised, that's ~1m circumcisions every year. Multiply that by the number of dollars a doctor gets for performing this surgery, and you have a rough estimate of how much money doctors make every year in the US from child chopping.

timoppenheimer · 2014-04-29T21:18:57+00:00

I'm glad I wasn't snipped. I've heard from females it feels better than snipped guys.

phengineer · 2014-04-30T06:42:50+00:00

wow, a mainstream site pushing to end circumcision. This just made my day

WonkyTurnip · 2014-04-30T13:45:44+00:00

Ok Brit here, genuinely did not realise that circumcision was such a big thing in the U.S., over here it's very rare to meet someone who is circumcised but not a Jew or Muslim. Does this mean you guys have to use lube whenever you masturbate? Or need it whenever you have sex? Not trying to be rude, genuinely curious here!

ShaidarHaran2 · 2014-05-01T03:46:56+00:00

Collegehumor did a shockingly good job with this one

9001 · 2014-04-30T14:29:03+00:00

*you're

And from the video

*glans

Title	College Humor - Real reason your circumcised
Author	izomo
Upvotes	115
Comments	94
Date	April 29, 2014 9:12 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/24b7c6/college_humor_real_reason_your_circumcised/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/college-humor-real-reason-your-circumcised.1001184 https://theredarchive.com/post/1001184

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