Coworker sees nothing wrong with assaulting a client with a laser to the testicles for having an erection.

eggilicious · 2012-08-26T22:18:59+00:00

I'm pretty sure that would count as assault and she could lose her license to practice

SenorSpicyBeans · 2012-08-27T01:11:54+00:00

Men have very little control over erections. Your co-worker is a bitch.

zarquon989 · 2012-08-26T22:38:10+00:00

Your reaction was a good one. That sort of behaviour is unprofessional and unacceptable.

Beware of possible "revenge" in future.

oneiorosgrip · 2012-08-27T13:08:47+00:00

Until I suffered a back injury which made lifting people a dangerous prospect for me and them, I worked as a nurse's aide. As the very bottom rung of the health care ladder, the aide faces the some of health care's greatest challenges to his/her sensibilities in the effort to provide prompt, rapidly performed quality care for every patient, all without compromising each individual's right to be treated as a human being. We don't get the cushy, clean end of health care like massage therapists do. We tend not just the injured, but the physically and mentally disabled, the sick, and the dying. It is back breaking and often heart breaking work, and in county homes and other low-end care facilities, it's often done for minimum wage.

Part of my job included bathing my patients. When you bathe someone, you wash the whole body, including the genitals. Unless a man is physically unable to achieve erection due to age or illness related conditions, when you wash his genitals, they're going to respond accordingly. Our training was that the situation was involuntary and impersonal, and our attitude should be that the erection didn't exist. As an involuntary response, it is not something the patient did to the caregiver. You don't judge someone for something he could not control.

Professional courtesy and proper bedside manner include putting effort into maintaining the dignity of your patient.

I took care of a range of people, from old war heroes and school teachers to drug addicts disabled by overdose, all with that same charge - maintain the patient's dignity. Maintaining dignity included ignoring inappropriate behavior from patients whose minds had been eroded by time or injury. It included keeping a clinical outlook when physical responses of a sexual nature occurred. It included keeping a stoically cheerful, nurturing and pleasant attitude, even when wiping a thick layer of pasty feces off of the underside of someone's balls. Sometimes, it included blithely continuing to converse with and care for a patient while his or her roommate (sometimes a spouse) masturbated conspicuously in the next bed over, or peppered the room with loud, abusive language.

There were aides who could not handle the job. Too many times, I found bruises from rough handling of bodies no longer tough enough to take it, found sores from neglect of patient hygiene where washing was a challenge, and saw embarrassment in patients who had been treated as if their physical symptoms, infirmities, and reflexes were voluntary and therefore shameful. I got fired from one job for whistleblowing to the Ombudsman for the Elderly (after going through internal channels, to no avail) about existing patient abuse. It was worth it - the abusers were fired, too, and the state forced the home to improve its service.

I realize that the field of 'beauty' isn't medical, but what you are describing is as much a clinical situation as any. If your coworker does not have sufficient respect for the dignity of others, or moreover, if she does not have compassion for her clients, she is in the wrong line of work.

This is really something that should be followed up on, as what your coworker did was not just unprofessional, but cruel, and criminal. It's not a small matter - in an individual who does bodywork, her sense of entitlement to treat her clients this way over involuntary physical response is a sign of an abusive personality.

No matter what you said to this woman, it has not changed her attitude. Her post-conversation behavior demonstrates that. Only the intervention of an authority will make a difference here.

The incident should be reported to the controlling authority in charge of licensing for her profession, because what she did was a violation of the professional trust inherent to that license. Even if you can't bring yourself to do that, at the very least, your supervisor's attention should be drawn to what your coworker did - even if you do that anonymously.

MR_Recursive_Ion · 2012-08-27T01:12:15+00:00

Tell the boss and or the owner until she no longer works there the business your job and professional reputation are a risk.

HyperComa · 2012-08-27T00:13:47+00:00

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ghebert001 · 2012-08-27T01:40:50+00:00

Should women get their tits zapped every time their nether regions moisten during a massage or brazilian wax or something?

Erections are not voluntary...you can't will the blood to the penis, just doesn't work that way. It's like hitting someone for sneezing or yawning.

Lecks · 2012-08-27T01:17:17+00:00

I think you handled that very well. You told her what she did was wrong in a way that made it clear she could've gotten into trouble for it, for some people that's the only way they'll change their behaviour.

Irrel_M · 2012-08-27T01:05:09+00:00

Why would she even have that job in the first place?

SilencingNarrative · 2012-08-27T02:27:18+00:00

I get erections randomly, in the most unlikely on circumstances. I have never gotten one when I couldnt hide it, although I suspect I have been lucky in that regard. I could easily see myself getting one in the situation you describe. I dont think you would have to be touch deprived. I would think this would be common knowledge among body workers and medical professionals. Thanks for confronting you co worker and relating the story here.

I am guessing that the man would not have been taken seriously by the police if he had reported her, and might even have faced sexual harassment charges himself had he tried, which is why she could get away with it.

DavidByron · 2012-08-27T04:21:54+00:00

A professional who abuses her position to sexually assault her clients... what's not to laugh about?

SenorSpicyBeans · 2012-08-27T06:35:10+00:00

I had to get out of the salon/spa/hospitality industry for the exact same reason. Every coworker I had was the worst misandrist I'd ever met....until I met the next one.

It started small. You know, like having to put up with questions of my sexuality for even working in said industry in the first place. Fine. Whatever. I'm here to do my job, get paid, and leave.

Then it moved on to one coworker telling me that it's perfectly acceptable for a woman to hit her boyfriend.....no matter the circumstances, and no matter how hard. "If he's so weak that she can hurt him, then he's not strong enough to have a woman in the first place." Exact quote.

Next was circumcision. Not only was it acceptable in all cases and cultures, but the fact that I spoke out against it meant that I obviously had a botched one that left me with half a penis, and now I feel like less of a man because of it. When I countered with FGM, it was, "well you don't have a vagina, so you wouldn't understand." When I countered with "well you don't have a penis, so you wouldn't understand," it was blank stares and backpedaling.

When it finally got to a frivolous sexual harassment claim brought against me because I had the nerve to tell one of my subordinates she actually had to work while she was on the clock instead of stand around and talk, I had enough and walked the fuck out.

All of these were different people, too.

hardwarequestions · 2012-08-26T22:30:11+00:00

my thinking mostly mirrors your own on this whole situation.

Doctor_Loggins · 2012-08-27T04:43:37+00:00

Jesus, if I had a nickel for every ill-timed boner that did not signify my intent to fuck...

cthulufunk · 2012-08-27T01:58:54+00:00

Yeah, all of the above have happened. Sexual arousal can usually be concealed (except in instance like above) but it's still hella embarrassing, esp body spasms/tears.

ExpendableOne · 2012-08-27T15:50:22+00:00

I just want to say thank you for sticking up for that man and, in a way, for men everywhere. What she did was obviously wrong, ignorant and obviously stems from a very hateful, disdainful or apathetic disposition towards men. If she doesn't even understand why her actions were wrong and completely unacceptable, I would definitely bring this up to a superior(I hope that you are in a work environment where you can bring up ethical concerns to your boss. Not sure how it is in Boston but in Ontario it is a protected legal right).

I'm not saying you should try to get her fired from her new job(not sure what kind of legal recourse your employer would even have to fire someone based on something they did in a previous job) but history like that shouldn't simply be ignored either(A history of violence or abuse towards women wouldn't be something that men could ever get away with); at the very least, it should be discussed with her(by her employer) to either make sure she understands why her reaction was uncalled for, unhealthy and harmful or that something like that would never happen again. If it's something that does happen again though, something should most certainly be done about it by your employer.

rightsbot · 2012-08-26T22:10:18+00:00

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deejaweej · 2012-08-27T08:14:58+00:00

What would I have done? Probably either suffer through the rest of it or leave if it was too bad, then never return.

I'm sure this isn't the reaction I should have. However, I would have no proof. If I brought it to authorities, she could just deny it, claim it was an accident, or say I tried to attack or harass her. Not only would justice remain unserved, but the personal risk is just too high.

The one exception would be if she worked in a larger establishment where I could complain to a superior. With luck, they'd listen. Without it, at least I wouldn't leave in handcuffs.

2012-08-27T16:46:56+00:00

This is not only a serious assault, it's a violation of numerous codes of professional ethics. I think you are right not to hand out this lady's personal info on the internet, but you should be reporting her for this. She might have caused serious damage to that guy.

HyperComa · 2012-08-27T01:49:10+00:00

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CharlieTango · 2012-08-27T06:19:29+00:00

Basic elementary health class should have tought you that erections are involuntary and 100% out of his control. Or do you not need those classes in beauty school...

newaccountnumber500 · 2012-08-27T22:28:16+00:00

Anyone here remember how much panic went through your mind as a kid in school with those involuntary puberty boners? If only people just understood.

Geohump · 2012-10-12T14:22:28+00:00

You need to report this girl to the health department, or whatever licensing body is in charge of laser electrolysis.

People need to know she attacked a person's genitals with a laser.

She needs to lose her license so that no other people are attacked.

Seriously. This is not funny or trivial, as you indicate above. It was a crime of physical violence.

plyers · 2012-08-26T23:28:40+00:00

You ever seen the comments on news articles about rape cases? Fucking barbaric, it's all women talking about how they want to torture the guy, and they all "like" each other's posts. It makes me sick to think that this is the general public attitude toward rape.

McFeely_Smackup · 2012-08-27T16:17:30+00:00

Rather, it's an indication that the client is starved for physical attention

while I agree with the core of your post, that statement is utterly incorrect. An erection is not an indication of any kind of psychological state of ANY kind. It's just as judgmental to suggest that his erection means he's starved for attention as to assume it was a deliberate sexual assault.

cthulufunk · 2012-08-27T20:02:50+00:00

I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took a laser to the testicles.

Liverotto · 2012-08-27T01:48:15+00:00

Imagine what would happen if a male aesthetician doing laser hair removal on a woman private parts got offended that her uncontrollably pissed herself a little and he proceed to hit her clitoris with the laser.

This sick feminist society would probably sentence him to 20 years of prison.

I hope one day we men will get our vendetta on women and especially on all those traitor males that sold us out to these evil feminists.

jazzygeoff · 2012-08-27T00:01:18+00:00

Communication was the key in that situation. He should have explained and she should have expressed.

Her attacking him like that was totally uncalled for and she is clearly ignorant of the idea that men don't make the decisions for what goes on down there most of the time.

Weedbalz · 2012-08-27T06:52:44+00:00

She's probably hot. Hotter than the laser.

Title	Coworker sees nothing wrong with assaulting a client with a laser to the testicles for having an erection.
Author	HyperComa
Upvotes	133
Comments	78
Date	August 26, 2012 10:08 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/yve1a/coworker_sees_nothing_wrong_with_assaulting_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/coworker-sees-nothing-wrong-with-assaulting-a.1014945 https://theredarchive.com/post/1014945

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