As a woman and someone who once called herself a feminist, I now carry a heavy sense of shame when I look at where women’s culture has arrived. A few months ago, I was walking down the hallway at my son’s school on our way to have lunch together. He is eleven years old and has been struggling with depression and falling behind academically, so our family makes a point of showing up whenever we can.

As we walked toward the cafeteria, the walls were lined with posters celebrating girls. Girls in science. Girls in coding. Girls in sports. Girls in the arts. There were so many of them that it was impossible to miss. What struck me was the absence. There was nothing for boys. Not a single poster. Not a single message. No acknowledgment at all.

We sat down to eat, and I asked him how his day had gone. He looked at me and said, “Momma, I’m not seen here. I feel alone all the time.” Mind you, my son has friends. But how he's been feeling extends to some of his friends as well, also boys.

Those words broke something open in me. I asked what he meant, and he explained that no one notices him. When he succeeds, it passes without comment. When he struggles, it goes unnoticed too. He told me the teachers do not care because he is just another boy. As a mother, a nurse, and a woman, I was horrified.

A few days later, I met with his teachers and the principal. I shared what my son had been experiencing and how the school environment was affecting my son, and boys. I pointed out that there was nothing in place to recognize boys for their achievements or to offer them encouragement. The response I received was that all students matter, but that girls need the spotlight right now. I could not believe what I was hearing.

I am raising a young boy who is suicidal, and this did not come from nowhere. We are living inside a cultural moment that has quietly pushed many boys and men to the edges. I am not talking about wealthy men or those in positions of power. I am talking about ordinary boys, and men, who are disappearing between the cracks while no one pays attention.

Boys and men are graduating from high school and college at historically low rates because real support systems are missing. In the workforce, many are struggling to stay afloat, facing some of the highest unemployment numbers on record with little guidance or advocacy. In health care, men are dying at three times the rate of women from preventable causes, often because access, outreach, and basic encouragement to seek care simply are not present. And we aren't even going to get into the disgusting number of suicides for boys, and men.

This is unacceptable. What is happening is wrong at a fundamental level. I am done pretending otherwise, and I refuse to look away anymore. Most men are not predators. Most men are not cruel. Most men are kind, gentle, devoted, and deeply caring, and they deserve support too.

As a woman, support is everywhere I turn. Boys and men have almost nothing. Because of that, I no longer call myself a feminist. A movement that highlights only one side while ignoring the other does not represent true fairness. I stand for equality for everyone, or I stand for nothing at all.

If the plan doesn't include supporting men, it's not a plan. I promise, some women are listening. And I promise to do all I can to bring change, however small.