So asking for a paternity test is wrong

dshakes6628 · 2022-08-30T23:44:10+00:00

Paternity tests should be mandatory period

ActPsychological8189 · 2022-08-30T23:47:50+00:00

Read some of the responses.

The leap of logic that "Hey, I just want peace of mind, make sure everything's good to go %100 before I commit to raising a child, because that's what any responsible parent should want to do"

equals

"I don't trust you, you totally cheated on me, I'm trying to sabotage this relationship" is astounding.

JadedName1204 · 2022-08-31T02:37:12+00:00

its women that say no to this because:

You might stop providing resources.

She knows the baby is hers 100% of the time, so she isn't gaining peace of mind by the test.

The attack against your knowing is "why do you need to, if youre raising her you're the father! Thats all that matters!">

I have considered that society has been putting this spin on fatherhood for a long time, as a means of feminists/women co-opting the narrative so that men will pay for the children of more attractive/desirable men.

They even have pushed narratives that single men should take on the role of provider for a single mother and her child, because that'd be generous and caring about others. In contrast to the "undatable single mother" of decades past, where men were repelled by such a state of affairs.

I dont suppose it matters much either way, because since men pay nearly all the net taxes and women are a net tax drain, single mothers are being paid for (welfare) by the mass of single men who never had sex and never made that child.

The entire society is bent towards men providing for other men's children. The few procreate, the many support.

rabel111 · 2022-08-31T00:18:07+00:00

Approximately 1 in 5 faithful mothers are liars. But saying that is misogyny.

Suspicious-Sleep5227 · 2022-08-31T02:27:02+00:00

I would be curious to know how they define “unprovoked”. I imagine that most men who seek a paternity test do so for a reason. This question is either a non-sequitur or has an implied double meaning (e.g. there should never be a good reason for a man to get a paternity test).

Pz5 · 2022-08-31T00:27:49+00:00

Feminism is female privilege. Its the idea that should have less rights than women.

IceCorrect · 2022-08-31T02:39:16+00:00

Just another day of "equality" in feminist mind:

-everyone should have right to abortion till childbirth - its human right

-there is no need to test dna at birth for women so its equal that noone can do this

-there is not enought women in force so we need to lower their standards so make it fair - there are 60% of female students thats why we need to give them 10 times more scholarship to make it equal.

DeadSkullMonkey · 2022-08-31T08:59:29+00:00

It's called feminism and not humanism for a reason.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2022-08-31T05:34:44+00:00

When they say you don't trust them, just say that you care more about making sure when the child is sick there's an accurate medical history.

Then it becomes about the child's wellbeing versus her feelings.

wineblood · 2022-08-31T08:04:52+00:00

I think their initial point is fair. If you ask the mother for a paternity test, it does imply you think there's a chance the child isn't yours and that will have consequences in the relationship. They call it a dealbreaker and I think that's a bit far, women have the comfort (luxury, privilege even?) of knowing for sure it's their child.

What I didn't see in the top few responses is what happens if the child isn't yours. For me at least, raising someone else's child without knowing, and potentially being deceived into it, is something I find disgusting. Being a father is very different to being a mother and it sounds like they refuse to acknowledge that.

wanthonio31 · 2022-08-31T06:01:07+00:00

I don't think the father ensuring that the child is something that should be taken personal

widal · 2022-08-31T07:44:28+00:00

This is why you don't ask, just do it.

DayOlderBread16 · 2022-08-31T09:48:59+00:00

I’d compare it to a woman checking her boyfriend/husbands phone to see if he’s cheating or talking to other girls. Although I assume if a woman had posted something there along the lines of “is it wrong to check my boyfriends phone to see if he’s cheating”, then most comments on from that sub would be “if he has nothing to hide then he wouldn’t have a problem with you checking his phone” as if that’s not accusing him of cheating too. I totally understand it hurting if a guy asked his girlfriend/wife to get a paternity test, but I feel like a lot of the same people wouldn’t care about their partners feelings if they asked to check his phone. Hopefully this doesn’t sound like a straw man argument, but I just hate how the super righteous replies on that sub would change if the genders would reverse. Of course I know there are rational people and rational feminists who would react fairly both ways, but often there’s a majority that will treat you unfairly based on if you are a man or not.

Morrighan1129 · 2022-08-31T05:21:57+00:00

I agree with paternity tests at birth.

However, I've had a family member do it, and I've heard numerous stories online, about men requesting paternity tests on their teenagers, and then dropping out of the kids' lives when it comes back that they're not theirs, and I just can't grasp that.

Sure, ensure you don't have to pay child support in the divorce but like... Those kids are yours man. Maybe not biologically, but you've raised them, you were there for them, and then you just drop them? That's not punishing the mother, that's punishing the kids because you're mad at the mom.

Obviously, I haven't been in that situation (privilege of being a woman, I'll never have to take a paternity test), but something about that just sits wrong with me. Maybe it's because my step mom's always been good to me, and my son considers my boyfriend to be more of a father than his own, but I just... I can't grasp punishing someone who loves you, because of something someone else did.

michaelpaoli · 2022-08-31T06:50:40+00:00

asking for a paternity test is wrong

Context matters.

Anyway, want more of my opinion on that, have a peek "over there".

blocked me for being a top commenter or something like that

Well, ya know, go over to someone else's house, (try to) monopolize the conversation, or even talk quite a bit more than (most) anybody else there ... that might well be taken as rather to quite rude. Maybe listen more, talk less? Generally a good rule when in someone else's "space". I mean heck, you probably wouldn't want a (or a bunch of) (self-proclaimed) feminists dominating and/or commandeering most or much of the dialog and discussion here on r/MensRights now, would you?

real meaning of feminism is

Uhm, I think you'll find a lot of varied definitions. Heck, I don't think even (self-proclaimed) feminists are even that much in agreement as to what the definition of "feminism" or feminist is, so, yeah, that would probably be at least a somewhat controversial topic ... and some dude coming in to, e.g. r/AskFeminists proclaiming what the definition of feminism or feminist is, probably wouldn't go over too well. Do you think it would go over swimmingly if some woman comes on r/MensRights and proudly proclaims exactly what the definition of "mens rights" is and what it should and should not entail? So ... how did you think it would go over, eh?

TRUCKBOB · 2022-08-31T00:49:25+00:00

Ideally you'd do it without telling the mother. But... it's sort of the equivalent of "I think you fucked another guy and this is his baby and I wanna know for sure". I mean, even to be suspicious of that... why continue a relationship like that? Does she have a history of fucking around? If you need the peace of mind of a paternity test in the 1st place that's a good sign it's a doomed relationship.

Miclash013 · 2022-08-30T23:41:56+00:00

I agree with their point that when you ask for a paternity test, you are subconsiously investigating if they cheated. This is in situations where you are both committed in a relationship with no other evidence.

But if he's already been suspicious, the relationship isn't committed, its a one night stand, etc., then yes, the man should be able to ask for a paternity test.

nineteenletterslong_ · 2022-08-31T18:06:51+00:00

the only thing i'm aware of fathers using paternity tests for, where it's still legal, is to avoid child support in case of divorce and complete loss of custody. that's probably what they don't like. i remember a feminist in an australian documentary about it complaining about men avoiding child support with paternity tests and trying to make it illegal

Maffioze · 2022-08-31T22:03:42+00:00

I don't understand why certain women feel so justified in feeling this way. One of the mods there claims she is tired of "having to center men's feelings" when in reality that's what she is doing. She is centering her feelings even though she is clearly in the more powerfull position.

ImplodedPotatoSalad · 2022-09-01T12:12:43+00:00

Paternity testing should be obligatory, with a proper criminal penalties for a woman that tries to dodge - like forced abortion.

Prestigious_Net_383 · 2022-10-29T07:47:35+00:00

Lmfao incels mad.

Title	So asking for a paternity test is wrong
Author	OriginalHuckleberry3
Upvotes	124
Comments	110
Date	August 30, 2022 7:55 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/x1spsb/so_asking_for_a_paternity_test_is_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/so-asking-for-a-paternity-test-is-wrong.1130688 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130688

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