The “Forever Girlfriend”

Gonzalo_96 · 2023-08-06T23:15:19+00:00

The ideal is with someone who you can trust. That you know that she won't take advantage of the laws to ruin your life. No problem with getting married if you know that in case of separation or divorce it will be friendly.

The problem is meeting someone you can really trust.

TheEndOfTheEvening · 2023-08-06T23:42:36+00:00

I don’t imagine too many women would want to be forever girlfriends. The problems with marriage for men aren’t always just the obvious legalities. The person you’re married to can just decide there are certain things they won’t do anymore and then you’re stuck with just a roommate/business partner who you are legally bound to. And screwed if you get divorced.

gprime · 2023-08-07T05:04:49+00:00

For myself? MGTOW. But I get that some people find that undesirable. So if instead I were giving advice to a friend, I would say that a "forever" girlfriend is fine, so long as you don't commingle finances, maintain separate residences, and don't have kids. Mind you, I think finding a women willing to agree to that sort of arrangement is extremely hard to sustain over time, so in practice the solution in serial monogamy that still adheres to the aforementioned parameters. Following that course won't eliminate all risk, but it'll reduce it as much as possible while still being involved with women for those who deem it necessary.

FlankFlunk · 2023-08-06T23:25:24+00:00

Not all marriage is bad if done right. My wife supports men's rights as well, we have a daughter, her culture venerates family. Is it perfect no, is it public? Not with my line of work but it is still good

LoopyPro · 2023-08-07T00:03:17+00:00

As long as anyone can leave at any point without repercussions, I'm fine with it.

In my country there's a type of legal status that explicitly states this kind of agreement where the involved parties make up the terms instead of the state. That way you can have certain financial benefits, but avoid the risks that a marriage could bring.

GT121950 · 2023-08-07T08:01:58+00:00

its not marriage thats a legal disadvantage, its divorce

SouthernSeeker · 2023-08-07T06:16:59+00:00

I grew up in a family that embodied the old-style Catholic family structure of a large, close-knit extended family, and reaped the benefits of it from infancy. It was a tradition dying out even then; which I lament. There's no reason it need be religious, but providing a strong family structure helps kids in SO many ways...

I see no problem with permanent relationships that don't involve marriage, so long as everyone involved is upfront about it. Why so many women want marriage so badly yet stay with guys who admit they never plan to do it is beyond me.

gh589 · 2023-08-07T08:28:58+00:00

I think for me the ideal relationship would lead to marriage but the problem is a lot of the women I dated didnt build up much in savings while I sacrificed a lot to save money and buy a house. So in case of marriage I would be risking way more financially than they are and I dont like to sign into a contract where the other party can profit from breaking it.

Creski · 2023-08-06T23:05:13+00:00

I'm in a perfectly health relationship, married, 3 cars, 1 kid, 2 labradors.

My wife also is a mens right supporter, so that helps, they do exist.

LeoTheHorse · 2023-08-07T00:39:58+00:00

I am gay.

new-fayzr · 2023-08-07T06:35:16+00:00

Respect 100% biggest factor for me, followed by traditional values. A women that respects her man will not go out drinking at the club where sex hungry men are preying, a women that is traditional will allow her man to lead and will play traditional feminine roles like cooking, cleaning, and raising the children, a respectful women will not lie to her man, respect commands communication, openness, patience and honesty. Respect is gratitude for all the hard work her man does. Respect is fair, we must play our part as men and provide, lead, be loving caring and listen to our women. Balance.

woodedoo · 2023-08-07T03:12:17+00:00

Personally I (female) am happy staying a forever girlfriend, I’ve always said I’d enjoy a “symbolic elopement” i.e. an elopement-like ceremony where you make vows to each other but you don’t get legally married. I also really don’t see the point of big weddings hence the elopement part. I don’t have any desire to be legally bound to someone but I’m a sap and want a love ceremony where I vow to be with my partner forever.

I actually know a few couples who aren’t legally married but they just tell people they are because they act married (have kids, share property, commuted forever, etc)

ConestogaCreek · 2023-08-07T01:28:19+00:00

Maybe a solid pre-nup? IDK. Good question.

cat_the_crafter · 2023-08-07T02:09:29+00:00

By myself, forever.

FormalCombination538 · 2023-08-07T06:13:05+00:00

I would like to get married someday. I believe it’s not the time but I am hoping that things will change before it’s too late. Until then, girlfriend.

Darth_Humorous · 2023-08-07T04:56:32+00:00

Ideally you realize she's never yours, it's only your turn and you act accordingly.

Anih1list · 2023-08-07T00:25:43+00:00

Marriage is only a legal disadvantage for men if your marriage is already unhealthy. Studies show that men remain happier throughout marriage whereas women’s satisfaction is only boosted temporarily.

LostActor0921 · 2023-08-07T02:29:03+00:00

Imma throw out a radical concept here. I may be labeled a Heretic.

Maybe, vet the person before you commit and actually get into a good relationship. Also, stop going into relationships thinking it's just for you and that it won't take a lot of work and compromise on both sides to succeed.

I swear, I have to say the same thing to feminists complaining about men.

Also, people are not Masters of Disguises. I find it's usually people see what they want in a partner and ignore the warning signs. Because I notice it in any relationship I notice with problems. ( I notice in friends, family and at work as a Bouncer.)

Mrbigballsmcgee · 2023-08-07T01:48:55+00:00

I think the issue is marrying a western woman. They are pretty much brainwashed into looking at marriage as a transaction or upgrade in life, it’s not romantic in the least any more. You have to find a woman outside of the western world with traditional views on marriage for it to actually be worth it.

Cruxito1111 · 2023-08-07T09:11:06+00:00

Just remove the Government power out of the marriage, and boom! it’s all good. You can marry as many times as you wish. I wouldn’t care if she was a Western feminist.

However, women have been brainwashed into this feminism propaganda. Then, the sweetest church girl is a nuclear bomb in the hands of the Government. So don’t marry in any Western country. Go marry a different place.

DukeHammer8 · 2023-08-07T18:44:24+00:00

The only woman a man can marry without really having a risk is either an MRA woman or a woman that is biased towards men and against women. That's rare on either account. I would suggest that most men don't marry. It takes a certain level of risk to go into that.

Delicious-Agency-824 · 2023-08-07T05:35:38+00:00

Instead of marrying her why not just pay monthly. If you leave she already have money. If she leaves all she got is the. Money that you gave

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-08-07T05:52:33+00:00

All you need to know. If such laws apply in your country, then it is the same as marriage.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law\_marriage

wackedoncrack · 2023-08-07T07:02:17+00:00

I was just talking to a friend about this today.

We had slightly different opinions:

Scenario 1: Friend said that they would maintain open relationships with multiple women, if they choose to stay, ok, if they put out, great. Long term doesn’t matter because it’s all open. If they are already married or in a relationship it’s on them.

Scenario 2: Ideally I’d want to be with my best friend, if we were in love and shared a life together I wouldn’t need any government to be involved, if the relationship fizzled out that would be that and I’d find another, friends unfortunately, come and go. Cynical sure, but I think it reflects the best option available.

Legitimate_Taro_1530 · 2023-08-07T09:50:14+00:00

I challenge you to find a sub, that strongly encourages marriage.

Poopygoopyoopy · 2023-08-07T10:12:42+00:00

I would actually like to get married just not a legal marriage. Like a ceremony where we are spiritually married. Preferably I’d just like an equal. It seems so far I’ve found that.

deepabyss82 · 2023-08-07T11:04:42+00:00

and dont live with her either.

AriochBloodbane · 2023-08-07T11:46:03+00:00

I only speak for myself here, but when you get a divorce in your life you become VERY careful about doing it again. Took me 10 years and lots of sacrifices to become debt free, and I was lucky with a “friendly” court proceeding, most other divorced guys I know had it worse than me.

It is not helping that the law became even more anti-man than just 10 years ago.

knight_call1986 · 2023-08-07T14:00:05+00:00

Ideally, I would say it is someone you trust to face the inevitable with.

When you really think about the amount of trust that really goes into having a romantic partner, it is more than just trusting them to be faithful.

For me to have a partner I would trust to that level, then I would have to trust that she is as fiercely protective of our relationship as I am. Which means not allowing any outside interference to disrupt the connection between us.

I currently don't have a gf (haven't had one in years), but since I have been back dating, I have not met a woman that I feel I can trust enough to even start the talk of a romantic relationship. I think with how the dating world is these days, it is incredibly hard to meet someone whom wants to build a solid relationship with you.

I am 37, and once I hit 40 I won't date or have romantic relationships. Am currently looking to move into the mountains and just chill out in peace with my dog. I really have to meet someone who I want to share my peace and solitude with.

LiddleBoyBlue · 2023-08-07T14:34:55+00:00

Just make sure to kick her out for a while every 729 days so you don’t accidentally get common law married.

Tanman55555 · 2023-08-07T15:13:59+00:00

Marriage is a beautiful thing but divorce culture is a complete disgrace Theres nothing that makes it reliable outside of the inconvenience to break up Its all very discouraging for me personally I see soo much divorce i really hate it I want a wife but im exposed to soo much divorce its a complete shame

Mcnst · 2023-08-07T20:47:25+00:00

You have to find someone who's an actual partner, meaning, who contributes an equal amount to the relationship, financially speaking.

You yourself have to be an actual partner as well, meaning, willing to share the housework and raising the kids. Take turns.

Basically, have to be someone who makes a similar amount of money as you (to the point where both of you have your own accounts in addition to a shared account you both contribute to, either equally or in proportion to the income — but if the contribution is not equal, then her ongoing savings rate should be sufficient to fully replace your own contribution to the shared account, meaning, she's not depending financially on you in any significant way for any living expenses).

And you'd have to be willing to support and appreciate her career, as equally important as your own. (Not more, not less.)

If you want them to quit and SAHM, because your career is more important because you earn 2x of what she earns (ironically, this often comes at 2x more work for the guy!), then you fully do deserve to get taken to the cleaners when the time comes.

TheKnightRunner · 2023-08-07T22:08:33+00:00

At this point in my life, balance and separate residence. We are best friends, but look at this stuff in a very similar manner. She has her stuff that she does, I have mine that I do, and we have ours we do. We go out, have sleepovers, coffee, weekend trips, etc. But she's got her family/friends/hobbies and I have mine. We participate in each other's some, but not every single thing you do is required for the other person. Good open consistent communication, limited drama.

Not interested in the 24X7 emotional neediness and having it held against me if I want to go visit a buddy for the weekend or play golf most weekends. Or hell, if I just want a night at home to myself to recharge my battery. And of course, same applies to her.

Title	The “Forever Girlfriend”
Author	avocado-afficionado
Upvotes	79
Comments	119
Date	August 6, 2023 9:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15k0ute/the_forever_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-forever-girlfriend.1227620 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227620

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