A question about fairness in relationships

DonQOnIce · 2022-02-18T22:27:04+00:00

Well, for one thing, that post was about how it’s not fair that women won’t marry him when they’re 18-22. There is no such thing as “fairness” when it comes to when an individual chooses to settle down.

Secondly, I would tell women to leave a relationship if they are doing all or most of the domestic work and their partner doesn’t want to cooperate. If life were fair, we could make people meet us halfway but we can’t.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-02-18T22:28:36+00:00

i think there’s a big difference between expecting fairness within a committed relationship versus expecting fairness from the whole fuckin world.

that said, while couples should strive for fair, it just doesn’t always happen that way. it’s not fair when the love of your life becomes terminally ill or disabled. it’s not fair when someone falls out of love with their partner. life is unfair, and while your partner should alway try to be fair (and good) to you, it’s not always possible. if your relationship is unfair because your partner is malicious or neglectful, you should consider your options.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-02-19T00:35:36+00:00

They absolutely should get divorced if they married a man child who can’t lift a finger to take care of himself. Next question?

lissssa-13 · 2022-02-18T22:28:47+00:00

They should. I have no idea how so many women put up with the relationship dynamics they do. Misery.

figuringMylife · 2022-02-18T22:32:22+00:00

i thought this was why 70% of women initiated divorce? idk i could be talking out my ass.

relationships aren’t fair. who said they were?

neetykeeno · 2022-02-18T23:32:04+00:00

Don't like it get divorced?

Yeah I did. He cried and cried and cried. It was great.

Hoopy223 · 2022-02-19T00:08:45+00:00

Yes of course.

There is no way to absolutely split everything 50/50. You cannot argue that doing the dishes equals half of taking out the garbage or 1.5x cleaning the toilet lol.

At the same time you need to be sensitive ti the other persons needs. Help the old lady out with the laundry sometimes. Let him chill on his day off. That kinda stuff.

bluestjuice · 2022-02-18T23:52:08+00:00

I think that's basically what's happening, though, right? Women who want fair (or equitable, which is a better but slightly different version of the idea) home management balancing in their relationships sometimes opt not to be in those relationships if their partners won't agree.

Sometimes people decide to stay in a relationship dynamic they dislike for various reasons, too, of course.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-02-19T07:50:49+00:00

Could the same be said towards women who whine about how they do all the housework and childcare and "family management"?

No. It's only fairness to women that matters. Men are socially expected to put up with unfair treatment. If men stopped accepting unfair deals many/most women would be screwed. It's essential to society that men are told to shut up and not ask questions.

unfknblvbe · 2022-02-18T22:24:43+00:00

Because they are not actually held to the same standards as us

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PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-19T01:10:38+00:00

I haven't watched wrestling in a long time, and it hasn't been super popular in a while but I remember around 96 to about 2002 when it was the hottest thing on the planet and millions of people were watching every week, some of y'all need to see this again

Ppdstillmental · 2022-02-19T02:37:12+00:00

People need to be honest and negotiate these sorts of terms before committing. It’s up to each to get a compromise both can live with. What’s “fair” is different for every couple.

Let’s say you negotiate back and forth on the price of a house. Both sides come to terms they agree on, and a “fair” price is set, certain repairs are to be made, a time frame for sale is established. One side breaches the contract, it goes to court. The one who breaches, loses. His actions were unfair.

Op basically comes to the table with a low ball offer…himself, which apparently no one wanted, and then wants to claim it’s unfair he can’t get the Trump Tower for 50 grand. Not the same. In the context of a negotiation, there is no fair when there is no meeting of the minds

SectorPatient2745 · 2022-02-19T03:29:45+00:00

Men can’t ever win. With modern feminism, women have absolutely no idea what they want anymore.

However, I think it can be generally concluded that women want a hyper masculine man specifically to mate with, and a somewhat feminine man for long term. However there won’t be ANY sexual attraction. Thousands of years living in a patriarchy is the primary reason for this.

Women wanted equal rights, now it’s time they give men what we’ve wanted all along. Equal treatment and reciprocity when it comes to love. Women want a “daddy”. A provider, protector, nurturer (specifically to them), while having equal rights within society and not actually NEEDING the the masculine man role in her life. They’ll never understand that some men want to feel wanted too.

SmurfESmurferson · 2022-02-19T04:31:16+00:00

Yes. The person who cares the most about something like cleanliness - which is likely, though not always, the woman - will do more work keeping the house up to their standards

Same when the kids are young - moms feed them, cuddle and soothe them, etc. life isn’t fair that way

People can still complain about it

TheFearlessBoi · 2022-02-19T04:53:47+00:00

You're mixing two different things. Dating and attraction aren't fair. They don't give a fuck about fairness and people can't consciously make themselves attracted to someone, because it would be "fair".

We can and should treat our close ones well. If your partner does more around the house and has less free time, it's usually on you to take some tasks off them or hire help. If you aren't cooperative, it's on them to leave you though. It isn't just about fairness, it's about caring for each other.

06534956 · 2022-02-19T05:24:12+00:00

A lot of people have forgotten about basic politeness and treating people with kindness… especially their partners.

There’s a HUGE difference between “this house is fucking disgusting and it’s all YOUR FAULT”

vs

“Hey honey, I’ve noticed that the house is getting out of control. What can we can do about it?”

He gets to take the lead on a project, I get to have my needs met, win/win.

CatchPhraze · 2022-02-19T06:20:06+00:00

They do. Then the men here whine about the dv rate

Title	A question about fairness in relationships
Author	TheFearlessBoi
Upvotes	0
Comments	53
Date	February 18, 2022 10:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/svu6rl/a_question_about_fairness_in_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-question-about-fairness-in-relationships.1102567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102567

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