Age gap between 23 and 18 is much higher than between 38 and 23

Worried-Anything6412 · 2023-09-24T08:00:16+00:00

Both are p3dos for dating women under 40

DopeAFjknotreally · 2023-09-24T18:31:10+00:00

This is not how math works

But seriously, there is a massive difference in outlook and maturity between a 38 y/o and a 23 y/o

The only way you don’t realize that is if you’re really young

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-09-24T08:27:46+00:00

I don't have an issue with age gaps, but this is bullshit. If she's 18 in high school she would be a university senior at 23 and the 38 year old is old enough to have a kid at the same university. They should absolutely not be at the same stage in life with a 15 year difference.

Safinated · 2023-09-24T19:11:26+00:00

5 vs 15 years? Disagree

MarBitt · 2023-09-24T08:09:51+00:00

Why is a 23-year-old woman a girl, but a 23-year-old man is not a boy in your description?
Why should every 18 year old still be in high school? Some people at this age are already working.
23 and 18 may have a common interest in the relationship. And it doesn't even have to be a serious relationship.
At the age of 18 I dated also women older than 23, what's wrong with that? Why do you think that makes these women predators?

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-24T08:16:22+00:00

That is considered very typical 'normal' life. At 18 I moved abroad alone and fended for myself and was not in high school.

SierraMistSoda · 2023-09-24T16:32:40+00:00

Im not sure about this one. 18 and 23 is strange but I guess it depends on the situation. 18 and 21 could be a college freshman and a college junior and thats normal so its not crazy far off.

23 and 38 is a really big gap. It's not illegal or anything but just not common. And if that 23 year old is dating a 38 year old, man or women, they are doing it for the resources the older person provides. Like free rent, gifts, money, dinners, trips ect. they are not going to date someone so much older and let them have the behavior of another 23 year old because then they would just date another 23 year old.

Freethinker312 · 2023-09-24T08:29:15+00:00

the first one includes a graduated guy that works and a high school girl

This doesn't have to be the case at all. Plenty of people haven't finished their education at age 23 and also plenty of people have finished high school by the time they are 18. It's also possible for an 18 year old get a job straight out of high school. Also, someone who has graduated isn't necessarily more mature than someone who hasn't graduated yet.

if a girl is marriage oriented she might not care about age difference

Well, suppose she is 23 and he is 38. It probably takes at least a year to get to know each other properly and build a stable relationship and get married. Then it takes about at least another year to have a child, so by the time that they have their first child together, he is already 40. If they want to have more than two children, he might easily be in his late 40's or even in his 50's once the youngest child is born. Most young women who are family oriented would prefer their children to have a younger father. Also, if her husband is 15 years older, chances are quite high that she will be widowed relatively young and have to miss him the last 20 years of her life.

since she might have already been in a relationship or two and got burned by a guy her age

Note the sexism in this. As if young men cannot desire to start a family with a loving family oriented woman and cannot be reliable, but just want to "burn" girls.

If she wants it serious an older guy might be a better bet even if the difference is bigger than 10 years.

Statistics are clear: the more the age difference, the higher the chance on divorce. Sure, if two people happen to like each other and are compatible, a 10+ years age gap doesn't have to be a deal breaker. But to deliberately seek someone so much older to start a family with, doesn't make much sense.

harmonica2 · 2023-09-24T22:15:01+00:00

I know a guy a couple who are married and when they first started dating they were 23 and 17. Fast forward to today and they are both in their 30s and are married now, so I guess it wasn't a bad age gap, if they are happily married now?

trettles · 2023-09-24T08:53:20+00:00

I dated a 37 year old for 3 years when I was 23. I'm now 37 and I saw him recently. He looked ancient and frail. I was not attracted to him at all. I can't imagine his energy levels would be any better now either. I'm so glad it didn't work out or I'd be stuck looking after a geriatric while I still had some life left in me.

Ambitious-Camel6356 · 2023-09-24T09:40:00+00:00

Both are fine depending on the context.

Not everyone is the same and humans are complicated. Sure as a general rule age gaps can be very tricky but there are always exceptions.

My grandfather was 18 and my grandma was 15 when they met. They lived happily together for 40+ years and even now that my grandma is a widow she misses him a lot..nowadays many people say 18 and 15 is super inappropriate but it wasn't always this way. It's all relative..

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-09-24T18:07:45+00:00

The second relationship being more well balanced (for the lack of a better word) is contingent on the 23-year-old wanting to get married and have kids now, and also wanting to date someone who isn't just a bit older and a bit more mature than guys her age but who is 15 years older than her. Also, them both having graduated and having jobs technically puts them on equal footing but the nearly 40 y.o. is probably much more well-established in his career, and has acquired some capital, while the 23 y.o. is most likely just starting their career, and most likely is much less financially stable than the older person. Not to say that these are inherently bad things but it is a bit disingenuous to paint these two as if they're more similar to each other than the first couple. An 18 y.o. and a 23 y.o. would most likely be in more similar financial situations, and they'd both be starting their working life, difference is one person would be getting some part-time gig, while the other would be making the first steps into a more serious career. They're also much more similar, on average, on what they want to do - most people in that age range want to get money, have a good time, enjoy their youth, and starting a family at this time usually isn't high on the priority list.

There is nothing "predatory" in that case as both sides have their own interest in that relationship.

There's nothing inherently predatory about it, I agree. But why is this relationship somehow better than the first one, when those people would also have their own interests in that relationship? The interests would be different from the 23/38 couple but the interests of most 18/23 y.o. seem to be closer to each other than those of 23/38.

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-24T17:11:32+00:00

People need to stop pretending that there's a lifetime between high school and college. They're basically the same people. Especially when you're old enough to see it.

AutoModerator · 2023-09-24T07:43:24+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Uglypostwall · 2023-09-24T10:04:55+00:00

Just do logan's run on women and you guys would be fine

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-09-24T22:56:40+00:00

Lol, I’m 38 and love 23 year olds for casual. Would never marry one tho

NIIICEU · 2023-09-25T01:14:23+00:00

This whole post is very painful for most 23 year olds and people around that age because it makes them feel old, while they still relate more to 18 year olds than 38 year olds. As a 22, almost 23 year old, I affirm that this is not true at all, I am mentally much closer to 18 than to 38. Such attitudes that a person is suddenly a more similar age to 30 than 18 when they turn 20 or whatever is dangerous and is a cause of a lot of psychological issues among young people. 23 and 38 is objectively a larger age gap. 18 is roughly 78% of 23 and 23 is roughly 61% of 38. This claim made by this post pisses me off and likely most people around that age. There is nothing inherently wrong or predatory with either age gap, although I find 23 and 38 more questionable and weird.

Title	Age gap between 23 and 18 is much higher than between 38 and 23
Author	AreOut
Upvotes	0
Comments	77
Date	September 24, 2023 7:43 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16qrn5k/age_gap_between_23_and_18_is_much_higher_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/age-gap-between-23-and-18-is-much-higher-than.1232829 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232829

Comments