Body count question

GuitarsBack · 2022-03-07T00:23:22+00:00

Why would that be a problem to a potential partner

It is a problem because it might correlate with what you said earlier:

I’d love a long term monogamous relationship but I don’t like most people after a while lol.

LateralThinker13 · 2022-03-07T02:43:49+00:00

If you can't keep track of the number, it is too high.

gibdegg · 2022-03-07T01:01:08+00:00

1 isn't too difficult to keep track of lol. Personally, sex is a really important experience I share with a partner and I'm looking for a man who feels the same way. If my partner can't name his previous partners, let alone count them, it shows a clear incompatibility between the two of us.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-07T00:24:48+00:00

If you lose track I'd imagine that says enough in itself. Nobody's really going to make a distinction between thirty and forty in terms of what they'll take in a partner. (And forty is way above average btw.) If it's single digits you're going to know the number. Many sexually conservative people want partners with similar values to them (for example seeing sex as something special and important which you don't do with just anyone), some have religious or moral reasons to want someone with a low count, some think it can affect certain aspects of a relationship, some think a certain count makes somebody better in bed or have a certain desirable sex drive and other people just find a high body count offputting for unexplainable reasons.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2022-03-07T01:40:07+00:00

Cuz theres people out there who dont want to have a relationship with someone like u and they are not obliged to do so if they dont want, thats the proper answer, doesnt matter if studies say this or that, not everyone will find you attractive and thats it

TilTheWarIsWon · 2022-03-07T00:58:04+00:00

I think whats more important than the number itself is the lack of proof that one has the principles and discipline to maintain a long-term relationship. Body count is like a quantitative indicator of qualitative potential

houstongradengineer · 2022-03-07T00:21:07+00:00

You've slept with more than the average person does in a whole lifetime, you're gonna have a harder time keeping track. Other people might not lose track. It's not like you owe anyone a number, although yes it might matter to some folks. Why would it matter? Maybe they want someone who doesn't tire of their partners so easily. Maybe they they have a fear of STD's or pregnancy. Honestly, especially if you lose track, it's highly likely that you could have a baby mama out there somewhere! Imagine your wife one day having to deal with a secret love child! Third reason: maybe they want someone who knows themselves a little better than you know yourself. Maybe they want someone who can detect and avoid the people they might get sick of before having sex.

decoy88 · 2022-03-07T07:47:14+00:00

So if I’m going to have sex in this life I’m going to rack up my body count.

Why? Quality over quantity IMO

By the time I’m 30 I could easily have slept with 40 people, and that’s a conservative number.

40 is not a conservative number.

I’d love a long term monogamous relationship but I don’t like most people after a while lol.

This is the issue that most people would have. I recommend exploring why this phenomenon occurs. I used to have a similar thing, but conquered that now.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-03-07T14:55:32+00:00

I have never met a group so obsessed with body count. I dont know my husband’s I have never asked he has never asked mine. It’s not relevant.

afkawayrn · 2022-03-07T00:17:31+00:00

For one it shows your lack of commitment. Obviously you have a habit of saying other people are enough or good enough, but you always are? Can be seen as toxic.

Second, you’re more likely to not be a good wife or mother, because of the higher chance to divorce.

You’re a huge risk for any successful man

Fit-Faithlessness149 · 2022-03-07T02:50:20+00:00

There's also nothing more wretched than going into a location where multiple people have had access to your partner's body before you. I started dating this girl that I met online and she started going to my gym with me. There were several people there that she had had sex with and I was unaware of her past until I talked to a buddy of mine. The ironic thing is I broke up with her because she just didn't want sex as much as I desired.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-03-07T04:02:18+00:00

but I don’t like most people after a while lol.

The lack of self awareness is brutal on this one.

You have right in front of your face, OP. Racking up 40 dicks tells me you aren't good at keeping long term relationships. If I wanted one, I'd be looking elsewhere.

2022-03-07T00:46:00+00:00

Honestly I don't really get the point of fixating on exact numbers either.

For me it's zero or "I really don't want to know." Even if he's only had a single previous partner I'd still want him to get tested for STD's. I'd go along with him just to make things fair though.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-03-07T00:27:26+00:00

Are you male or female? Just curious. I'm male/25/body count of 24. The most I've slept with in one year was like.. 11? 13? Idk exactly (the year after I lost weight) and the least was 0.

I keep track just by memory I don't intend to i just remember. I also don't count oral or manual stuff, just PiV. Definitions can get a bit squirrely because some trads say a woman jerking off a man means she isn't a virgin anymore which is stupid in my eyes but it's what they think.

If i get a LTR I won't hit N=40 by age 30 but if I stay single I almost certainly will. I pretty much hook up once every few times I go out to a public place (i.e. when me and my bros have a poker night or just crush some beers I don't go out). I probably go out out to a place with girls about once every two weeks, and probably hook up on average once every 4 or 5 times I go out. I have almost a 100% success rate on making out and dancing with girls and getting numbers... then I never hear from them again LOL.

Anyways my overall point is that definitions change and its hard to say anything to answer your question

neetykeeno · 2022-03-07T05:10:07+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/soqanm/comment/hwig71y/

If my theory is true then sex with a woman who doesn't even remember all her sexual partners because she's had so many would at one stage in our evolution have represented an off-the-scale level of existential threat to a man, that could only be neutralized enough to fuck her if she is firmly and irretrievably placed in the role of worthless slut by his entire society.

If you can't even remember who you've fucked you can't even warn him about those guys. You've turned every man into a potential lethal threat to him.

Even if that's not what a man with those genes is consciously thinking his genes make him react in a manner consistent with if he was thinking that way.

You're gonna need a guy with almost no genetic tendency to feel that way if you go on to have forgetably large numbers of sexual partners. You're in the mathematically unfortunate situation of needing someone from the end of the bell curve that is most universally acceptable to other women. Nobody minds a man who doesn't care at all about n count...he can handle from virgin to ex-prostitute without anxiety. He's got everyone to choose from.

Still...you'll probably eventually find an anxious guy who has wised up to the fact he just gotta not ask and not think about it. Expect a big fat public whine from him about it if you break up though. Men can be a bit hypocritical that way.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-03-07T10:10:13+00:00

Why would that be a problem to a potential partner?

Men don’t pay full price for used goods.

If a car had 40 previous owners, it's probably not a good car.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-03-07T12:46:19+00:00

That's a massive losing streak for a person looking for a monogamous relationship.

How about sleeping with less people and going for quality.

Inabind369 · 2022-03-07T21:49:27+00:00

It really depends how you go about it. I respect men and women that pursue what they want and don’t wait for someone to come along that they fancy. It’s a clear expression of what you want and shows confidence in your desire.

In general I don’t understand the appeal for casual sex, it seems inauthentic in most instances. First off I’m not sure how you have sex with someone you aren’t crazy about. Sex is intimate no matter how you frame it and often people aren’t honest with themselves or others about why they’re doing it.

I’ve never had casual sex, but when I thought I wanted it and had a naked girl in my bed wanting me to fuck her I realized it was all a front. I was gonna do it so I wasn’t a virgin, but that’s no reason to have sex so I didn’t until I got into a relationship.

I would have only been doing it for my ego and to add a conquest. I don’t think it’s right to treat other humans that way and I don’t think it’s good to treat yourself that way either. I think it’s rare to have a casual sex scenario where both the man and woman are fucking out of pure lust for the other. It’s often the man is doing it for the conquest, ego boost, or simply to use a random vagina to get off. I think women often do it because they are trying to fuck their way into a relationship, they want validation that they are attractive to an attractive man, they believe all they have to offer is sex. Usually when a man and woman make an attempt to mutually pleasure one another and be vulnerable (because that’s what sex is) it’s no longer casual for one or both parties. In order to have sex with someone we don’t like past their physical form we most strip away some of our humanity. The interaction becomes transactional and devoid of the humanity, passion and intimacy that makes sex special.

Body count doesn’t matter so much as hookups vs relationship. I guess if you orgasmed regularly from casual sex and you were uncompromising in all aspects with who you slept with, and you were doing it because you were attracted to who the person is and what they look like I say go for it. Rarely do people do that though.

I think too many people do it for the wrong reasons. I think it’s important to ask yourself “why?” because if you can’t form a good reason as to why it’s no different than any other drug.

And the why doesn’t always have to be a good why, but I think it’s important to be honest with yourself and try to recognize if your reason why is healthy or unhealthy. I don’t see a problem in sleeping around a bit for the wrong reasons in your youth because it takes time to truly know oneself. It’s important to reflect though and answer the why in hindsight and address any patterns that could be unhealthy. I’m the end sex is about procreation. So it would the most sense (on an individual level) to choose a mating strategy that will most benefit future offspring. Currently the gold standard is the nuclear family and you aren’t working at all towards that if you’re sleeping around. That’s why I never hooked up. Sleeping with people I care little for does nothing to help me towards my long term goals.

CoachPRIPecho · 2022-03-07T23:13:16+00:00

Well you do you but dont be suprised that someone doesnt like it.

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2022-03-07T23:40:02+00:00

You’re so unaware it’s almost kind of cute lol. You’ve answered your own questions. It’s pretty easy for my friends and I to keep track of our counts, which range from 1-5 in our entire lifetimes lmao. There is no problem with you sleeping with 40+ people by the time you are 30, but you should be gracious enough to understand and accept that that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

A 30 year old guy who has been with 3 girls in the past is simply not going to be sexually compatible with you. You are just far too experienced and also probably have different values and views on what sex is.

-ShesACarnival- · 2022-03-07T01:00:33+00:00

i did lose track, i only estimate my count. nothing matters less now after decades than the count i racked up in my teens and 20s. it would never occur to me to keep count past like the first year i was sexually active, who cares

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mil2357io · 2022-03-07T08:52:39+00:00

Everybody is breeding and trying to de value the stock of human society. The great leader wishes to remind us that He is still a bird

OfCatandPagan · 2022-03-08T10:50:18+00:00

Uhh not to be rude, if you can't keep track that's not particularly a good thing.

Logry · 2022-03-08T17:27:24+00:00

Some poeple consider one or several of the following statements to be important to them ; that numerous sexual intercourses :

have impacted the dating dynamics overall including their own in a bad way
are threatening their dating dynamics those days
will have consequences on their future marriage/concubacy/etc.

And they base their position on different things, according to the person you're talking to, including studies like the ones below.

[1.1] https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/htfg3o/updated_excerpts_relating_promiscuity/ [1.1.2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_promiscuity#Psychology [1.1.3] https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability [1.1.4] https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/i7ns85/do_rp_men_want_marriageltrs_or_ons_pick_one_fellas/g13y9vo/[1.2.a] https://www.bustle.com/p/millennial-women-are-cheating-more-than-millennial-men-a-new-survey-finds-7873841[1.2.b] https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2018/jan/11/millennial-women-have-higher-rates-infidelity-mill/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513802001496?via%3Dihub

Guitar-Master9891 · 2022-03-08T22:48:59+00:00

By the time I’m 30 I could easily have slept with 40 people...

Why would that be a problem to a potential partner?

Because he has 40 reassons to think he's the guy right before the 42#.

Why bothering planing a life with a "partner" of such quality?

I mean, would you start a bussines with a dude who bankrupted 40 companies?

Like... Girl...

Then you all making questions about why there are no women in power positions.

Maleficent-Brief-178 · 2022-03-13T15:11:18+00:00

Nothing wrong with a high body count However it is a definite indicator of a inability to maintain long-term relationships which is why so many men take it as a massive red flag

Title	Body count question
Author	livelovelaughsing
Upvotes	0
Comments	94
Date	March 7, 2022 12:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t8cc02/body_count_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/body-count-question.1105315 https://theredarchive.com/post/1105315

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