In this thread, u/Lite-brite asked BPers how a man should go about getting a relationship "out of thin air".
The responses were, more or less, that a man should just go up to people, make "lots of friends" and talk to a lot of different kinds of people. He should especially befriend many women. One particularly terse, abbreviate BPer told him:
"Go to person. Talk to person. The end."
This kind of utterly useless, worthless advice is little more than "Just be nice, just be yourself. It's what created TRP in the first place. If your advice worked, TRP would not exist.
There are two problems here.
First, telling men to "just be nice, just be themselves" doesn't help these men. The problem is that they are not attractive. They have little going for them. In this day and age, being "themselves" will probably get them arrested if they attempt romantic relationships. They need to do things to improve their sexual attractiveness to women (not their comfort/beta characteristics like kindness, niceness, affability and friendliness; but their attractive/alpha characteristics like confidence, dominance, physical appearance, body habitus, posture, demeanor, and refusal to put up with shit from people). BPers always omit advice on self improvement and what women actually find sexually attractive (not what women tell others they find attractive).
(As an aside, BPers are constantly confusing and conflating SEXUAL attraction with beta comfort. Never forget this: What women find sexually attractive, what really trips their triggers about men, are the things that make them the least "comfortable" -- male confidence, independence, dominance, his refusal to tolerate shit from others (especially women), brute physical strength, having and exercising options, his ability to get sex from different women.)
Second, there's a major problem with the "be friends with lots of women" advice. One BP attempting to be helpful said:
Meet women with the expectation of making cool new friends. A romantic relationship may or may not happen, but at least you will be more confident with women.
OK, so here's the problem with that. You're setting these men up for "NiceGuy(TM)" accusations.
Being "friends" with women is a surefire route to the friendzone and to being seen as a girl with testicles. Because when a guy is friends with lots of girls, he's "one of the girls" to both men and women.
Men see him as a pussy. Women see him as another woman, only with a deeper voice and no breasts: a nonthreatening "friend" who, when he decides he likes one of those women, suddenly morphs into the evil NiceGuy (TM) BPers are constantly talking about.
So your advice sends him into NoMan'sLand -- if he's "nice" and "friends" to everyone, he's a pussy to men and a milquetoast to women. Then when he tries to assert himself as a man and actually make a move on a girl he likes, he's a NiceGuy (TM) who was just playacting until he could spring himself on an unsuspecting woman.
Men can't win for losing. If he is "nice" and "himself", he's a loser because he's not attractive. If he is "friends" with lots of women, he's a disgusting, dishonest, borderline criminal "NiceGuy (TM)".
BPers are asked to advise men on how to get relationships, and all they've got is "Be nice, be yourself".
Respectfully, BPers, your advice doesn't work. If it worked, TRP wouldn't exist. Your advice might have worked in long bygone eras, but those days are over. You don't have workable, actionable advice for men seeking relationships.
I'll close with a pair of quotes that I think sums up the situation nicely.
u/anandya: "The problem EVERYONE has with you is not that you are encouraging people to better themselves but the fact that you are a dick to women.
u/mrcs84usn: "Well tell women to stop rewarding us for such behavior. You can argue theory all you want, but you can't dismiss when men are getting the results they want."
Q.E.D.
Discuss.
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Maybe your personality sucks? Maybe your character is devoid of any depth? Maybe you just smell like shit? Because "being nice" - in other words, treating others with respect (while also respecting myself, of course) - has worked wonders for me and my friends.
I'm new to this subreddit, but you folks certainly love to complain about women not lining up to suck your dicks when you act "nice" to them...
[–]PemBayliss 7 points8 points9 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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Uh, yeah? Why do you think I mentioned personality and hygiene and all that shit? If you're ugly, you're ugly. All those hot girls? Yeah, they're not gonna bend over for you just 'cause you opened a door for them. Ugly girls deal with the same shit. They're practically invisible, especially to average-to-attractive guys.
Being nice is nice, but attraction and dating is obviously more in-depth than that. I don't get how you didn't figure that out after high school. If a girl like this gave you a bouquet of flowers, would you feel obligated to reciprocate her feelings?
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You didn't respond to my argument.
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