Curious question - do you think, for the average man, cold approaching women might net better success than online dating?

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-03-16T13:16:37+00:00

Cold approaching random women on the street is unlikely to be successful.

That said, approaching at parties, clubs, bars, and other social events is likely to be more successful and less effort than Tinder and at only 23 you have easy access to the party scene so this is a good option.

storffish · 2018-03-16T13:16:03+00:00

absolutely. but here's the catch: you have to have some semblance of charisma. that means you have good (call it above average) social skills and the ability to make people (the woman you want to fuck, in this case) feel good about talking to you. if you're the type of guy who has a lot of awkward pauses in his conversations, or who lets conversations trail off a lot, or dreads social situations, or who gets talked about often in a negative way forget it. and you also have to accept that even slayers get rejected by the vast majority of women. you have to have a steely ego that doesn't fall to pieces when a few bitches turn up their noses at you. itll happen, you can't fear rejection.

if you have those traits then yeah, cold approaching is a much, much better approach than online dating. and not all cold approaches are equal, whereas online dating always has that hurdle of convincing her to leave her house and come meet you. cold approaching at a house party or barbecue where everyone is a friend of a friend is like shooting fish in a barrel. somewhere among strangers is significantly tougher. the way to get the most out of the cold approach is to cultivate a broad and active social group.

Eastuss · 2018-03-16T13:09:55+00:00

whitebunny87 · 2018-03-16T13:10:14+00:00

I don't know the ins and outs of online dating these days, but if you've got an attractive presence then I'd say you're certain to do better in the real world than online.

Women feel attraction to your body language, your attitude, the way you talk. Some pictures and a blurb on a website aren't going to get that across.

DemonConsulting · 2018-03-16T14:55:12+00:00

Yes, unless he has great photography skills and/or is so awkward irl that it's not even an option for him.

Most men on dating sites/apps are not only at a disadvantage because it is purely based on looks and the women have a million options, they further hurt their own chances by uploading ugly ass bathroom selfies or generally pictures of low quality with bad lighting, weird angles and messy backgrounds. It's like while the average young woman spends hours doing her makeup, fixing her hair and practicing her selfie-game, taking a hundred pictures from different angles and with deliberate lighting which she then pics the best from and applies filters to, to make it look even better, men just go “fuck it“ and take a single one in their dirty bathroom at night which they post unedited. It makes you look 100 times uglier than you already are.

So yeah either go out to meet women irl where you can actually use your social skills/ game or at least learn how to take good pictures/ get them done professionally.

Though even better and a lot more successful than cold approaches is having a large friendgroup / social cycle that can introduce you to new people. If you're “recommended“ by a friend or meet at a house party with a mutual social cycle it's a lot more likely that she'll give you a chance and actually has time + the motivation to meet someone to date in the first place.

ganso_bum · 2018-03-16T19:21:45+00:00

Yeah. Online dating is basically someone looking at your picture for a second or two and maybe scanning your profile for how much money you make and then looking at the other 50 matches they got in the last two minutes.

Cold-approaches, while they still may not work at all, at least give you the ability to present yourself in real life. Maybe the way you speak, the way you're dressed, the things you say, her mental state at the time, the place you do it at, might get you in, and at the very least, she has to put in the effort to say something to reject you instead of just casually swiping you away.

blackedoutfast · 2018-03-16T20:15:48+00:00

if he has decent social skills, then daytime cold approaching will probably be more successful, but it's still going to be a numbers game. even good looking guys with tight gane get rejected a LOT if they're cold approaching random strangers out in public.

social circle game is usually the most efficient method for "average" guys.

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Littleknownfacts · 2018-03-16T13:12:20+00:00

Yes.

wtknight · 2018-03-16T13:14:13+00:00

It depends. Some guys look better in pictures and have better text game and can do better this way than by cold approaching.

sivarias · 2018-03-16T13:41:07+00:00

Yes.

You practice getting rejected. You can practice your witty banter. Women tend to be more attracted to personality than looks anyway, so if your meh in the looks department but have a lot of confidence and a rocking personality, you can really make it shine.

2018-03-16T14:02:24+00:00

[deleted]

incelchad · 2018-03-16T14:33:12+00:00

If they approach as many people as they message online its probable.

Online dating works because you can do it so fast. Its speed dating from a distance.

LewisCross · 2018-03-16T14:50:21+00:00

Yes, because when you approach in real life less time is wasted. You evaluate each other right then and there. You also will develop social skills a lot faster.

TheGreasyPole · 2018-03-16T15:02:00+00:00

It’s gonna depend on how you’re setup.

If you’re very physically attractive, but your psychological attractors are poor (you’re nervous, not confident... submissive, not dominant... a bit tongue tied, not witty... etc) then you could do much better online because all they have to go on there is your physical looks. You’ll fuck up cold approaching as your psychological factors nerf your attractiveness and you won’t get the date you would get online.... and where text exchange give you more time to think you’re answers through and the date gives you time to relax.

OTOH if your general attractiveness is primarily psychological and not physical.... you’re confident, fun, witty, dominant etc etc but “homely” rather than “handsome” then you’ll do far better cold approaching where you can deploy those psychological factors to increase your physical attractiveness and “get the date”.

Although it’s probably worth saying that “warm approaches” ... approaching in the context of a social circle, or some other pre-existing relationship/reason to be talking probably trumps BOTH the above no matter whether you’re strengths are physical or psychological.

Are you a hottie that tends to get nervous and can’t make eye contact ?

Or a normal guy who can demonstrate those psychological attractors (or develop them if you don’t have them already) ?

Merger-Arbitrage · 2018-03-16T16:42:39+00:00

As an average man, you might be able to make Tinder work if you take some amazing photos. Good face angles, hide all of that belly-flab. Use filters and other crap to hide your imperfections - most other people are doing it, too. She'll only realize you're a chubby(ier) fraud once you're in the bedroom, but if she's fatter herself, don't feel too bad about it.

Entropy-7 · 2018-03-18T04:43:18+00:00

Nobody is "average". You have both strengths and weaknesses and you have to match them to the fora that you choose to meet people.

I am not aware of any new policy on OKC to only allow your likes to be seen, but that would be a game changer.

POF was largely a waste of time.

Find what works for you.

dylanrockz2002 · 2018-03-16T16:50:49+00:00

mate i'm too young to be on online dating so I just hang around the parking lot at Nando's and shout shit at fly honeys while I smoke a cheeky cig. works most of the time to be honest, I've probably touched more boobs than every lad here and I'm not even 18 hahaha

wracky272 · 2018-03-16T13:53:46+00:00

Of course they will, but online dating is so much easier, plus I can bitch about women from the comfort of my couch all while lifting nothing but my thumbs.

Jammerly1 · 2018-03-17T01:49:05+00:00

At social events yes. In the streets, not really. A lot of guys are better looking in person but can’t take a good picture to save their life.

HarpyMaster · 2018-03-17T19:14:57+00:00

so you dont want to put an effort and get everything you want just fall into your lap? has women saying that cold approaches bother and creep them out reached to you? do you really think sinking to the lvl of PUAs will bring better results?

I've decided (...) to quit with OKC and POF,maybe even Tinder (where the hypergamy and validation-seeking has just gotten completely out of hand)...

what makes you think girls will behave or think of you differently irl?

I think western society's overemphasis on online dating is gonna be detrimental in the long-term.

no, it wont, it will sift out the undesirable ones. win win.

S1imdragxn · 2018-03-16T13:11:30+00:00

Definitely dude, if I were single I’d do it irl for sure

There’s dozens of qt’s that I daily interact with just doing innocent things like grocery shopping

Only problem is, they’re all online too swiping left so even if you do hook up you have to pry her off of that thing somehow, unless you just tryna smash

JustAnotherOmegaMale · 2018-03-16T13:13:28+00:00

I'm not sure. I think that if you've put some effort into picking good pictures, writing a good bio and sending interesting first messages you'll probably be relatively successful on some online dating website. I've never approached people just out and about so I'm not sure what the typical success rate is there.

Maikowski2 · 2018-03-16T13:59:42+00:00

Cold approach is always better than online. What kind of question is that. It is especially true if you are average in looks.

officerkondo · 2018-03-16T14:07:37+00:00

Without question.

In online dating, any woman is going to have at least 50 options, so she has analysis paralysis and wonders who's catfishing, posting old pics, et cetera.

When you approach a woman in real life, she has only one option in her face at that moment, and what she see's is what she gets. She can't string you along and dither. She has to make a decision right now. This is an old-as-dirt sales tactic: THIS IS A LIMITED TIME OFFER! ONCE IT'S GONE, IT'S GONE!

So yes, you're going to close more deals by making your pitch in person than with online dating.

washington_breadstix · 2018-03-16T14:07:37+00:00

Yes. It's a certainty.

In real life, women can evaluate factors like body language that they cannot see through online dating profiles. They also can't (or at least normally won't) categorically refuse to talk to you if you attempt a real-life approach. Sending messages through dating apps provides no guarantee of responses.

squidracer · 2018-03-16T16:35:02+00:00

Not really. I've had decent luck meeting girls in real life, but not on the same level. In your day to day Life too might score one date a week or two. With tinder it's pretty easy to line up 3-5 dates a week.

There's just a nice bigger pool of girls

Title	Curious question - do you think, for the average man, cold approaching women might net better success than online dating?
Author	confusedwitdating
Upvotes	4
Comments	61
Date	March 16, 2018 1:06 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/84v9ot/curious_question_do_you_think_for_the_average_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/curious-question-do-you-think-for-the-average-man.263225 https://theredarchive.com/post/263225

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