Do dating apps work for women

spanglesandbambi · 2025-03-25T22:28:01+00:00

They worked for me. However, I was "proactive" in using them.

I used POF it had a tinder like swipe feature (this was some 7 years ago now) if I saw someone I liked I wouldn't swipe I would go on their profile and if I felt we matched I would message them.

The issues I faced were men who were on a dating app for a relationship but clearly just looking for a shag. There were also a lot of men in relationships who I would do a quick check (reverse image search and social media check) to find wives, children, etc. I could weed these out with a few weeks of talking and my checks.

I did go on one date, though, and I was always careful, so I took my car and never told the first dates where I lived. He followed my car home and tried to break into my house. Unfortunately for him, it was my downstairs neighbour's garden. The police were called, and he had previous for assult and rape. Dating apps can't stop him from creating new accounts. I understand this was one prat and not all men. However, I then started parking further away from the dates, asking for ID to do a domestic abuse check (which you can do in my country) most men where chill with this when I explained the above.

Anyway, after about 10ish first dates, I met my husband, and that was that.

FearlessSea4270 · 2025-03-25T22:16:43+00:00

Finding someone you connect with, that wants the same things you want, that has a compatible lifestyle- that shit’s hard to find for anyone.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-03-25T22:03:54+00:00

Bumble has gotten me a few dates. Nothing else I've used has gotten me past a greeting, if even that.

Oli_love90 · 2025-03-26T00:08:15+00:00

Low effort conversations is my main issue. I get a match and try to chat - often it feels like annoying a very disinterested stranger. After so many of these interactions it’s just demoralizing.

I think the women who are consistently on and off just get tired, leave and then try again after they forget how bad the experience was.

HighestTierMaslow · 2025-03-27T22:56:06+00:00

Took 7 years to find a compatible match who ticked my boxes and felt the same. But yes I'm happily married. We met off of okcupid in early 2016

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behappyfor · 2025-03-25T22:26:10+00:00

First is there are literally the least amount of women there like 20 percent women and 80 percent men. From that like 10 percent women are not even women, like bots, scammers etc. Second Most women are usually hesistant of meeting a guy on the app because of safety reasons what not. Third it is literally a hooking app, most guys are there not for dating and only hooking up, they also lie about relationships when in reality they want s x.

These factors make it not attractive to use dating apps

AngeAware · 2025-03-25T22:35:29+00:00

Depends on what you're looking for. They didn't work well for me as a trad lite religious woman. There is a dating app specific to my faith that is said to work a lot better but user experience for non-premium users is even worse than the mainstream apps. You have to wait 10 days to respond to messages.

AnonPinkLady · 2025-03-25T23:49:54+00:00

It worked for me but I had to learn to vet and protect myself and express firmly what I want and many young women may be vulnerable to low self esteem and put up with a lot of bullshit. It's why so many "sitatuationships" are a common issue. There's a lot of noncommittal and predatory behavior on there, so you have to be guarded and very careful and be ready to say "no, that's not what I'm looking for" a lot.

Sophiatab · 2025-03-26T01:02:08+00:00

I got a few first dates with JDate, but they always ended with the guy saying I was "too Jewish" for him. JDate was created specifically for Jews to meet other Jews. A very large number of my male Jewish friends did find their wives through JDate however.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2025-03-26T02:45:26+00:00

Depends what qualifies as a dating app "working."

I am engaged to a man I met on Tinder. He's the first person I've ever seriously dated from an app, despite being a heavy user on and off for many years. He's in the exact same boat.

Does years on the apps without a resulting serious relationship qualify as a failure if I had a pretty great time doing it?

RoseyButterflies · 2025-03-26T08:15:37+00:00

I met my bf on POF some 7 years ago before it has the swipe feature I swear.

I got messaged by a lot of men like hundreds and tried to reply to most I thought were cute but I guess I got bored of and ghosted the rest lol. I went on a few dates before meeting my bf with other guys.

Thought my bf was cute and I liked that he was a gaurd so I replied to him. We messaged for about 3 months on the app then texting before we met. I also went on a cruise overseas in that time lol.

No_Teacher_3313 · 2025-03-26T23:16:59+00:00

I’ve had good luck with Bumble to some degree - a bunch of mid-term relationships. The issue is just that it’s hard to screen people in general and problems delay in making themselves known. Also, people lack self-awareness. But overall the apps give a good head start because you already have a basic profile of the person. I don’t think I’ll ever go with any other approach than Bumble.

Tylikcat · 2025-03-27T01:02:46+00:00

Work for what? I had a string of hilaribad first dates when I was living in Ohio that became fodder for a string of comedic blog posts. I mean, utter and complete fails, but I thought they were funny, and eventually decided I had a non-dating relationship with the entire state. And some were fairly creepy, like the guy who thought a perfect first date would involve him picking me up in his truck and driving me out to the woods. Actually, I found the fact that so many guys freaked out because I was the height I told them, and indeed had an athletic build (if with large breasts, which is a pita if you want button down shirts) and started going on about whether I could beat them up.*

NC looked more promising, but then the pandemic happened.

But really, OLD seems mostly like a huge waste of time and energy for me. I'm probably more challenging than most? But I do much better with meeting people socially and through interest focused events. It might be okay for meeting queer women - it hasn't lead to a long term relationship there, but I've dated a couple of women I've met there for a bit. For men, well, it usually has me questioning whether I'm interested in dating men at all.

*My dude, if you are going on a date with the 5'11" martial arts instructor, this shouldn't be a surprise. But also, I don't tend to beat my dates up, and that you seem to be implying you only date people you could beat up is gross. And if you're 5'9", but saying you're 5'11", maybe don't be shocked when I'm taller than you?

Barneysparky · 2025-03-25T22:11:16+00:00

I've known a number of couples that met on dating apps, including my husband and I.

The largest common denominator regardless of age is time on apps. I'm guessing there are guys here who have had an account for years, if I date a guy I met online for six months, go back to the apps and see a guy that was on the apps six months ago, that's a instant no thanks. The good ones are picked early is very true on dating apps. BTW picked early doesn't mean they stay with their first LTR, dating exclusively is to see if you are compatible long term. Which not everyone you seriously date will be.

Anyways, the couples I know, at least one of them were new to the app. Including myself.

Title	Do dating apps work for women
Author	moppingflopping
Upvotes	4
Comments	42
Date	March 25, 2025 9:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jjuyg8/do_dating_apps_work_for_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-dating-apps-work-for-women.1547630 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547630

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