Do men empathize with women?

lollygagyo · 2016-08-20T16:23:11+00:00

It has been proven in numerous studies and in loads of peer-reviewed research that women show greater levels of empathy than men (as a trend, not an individual level). Research suggests that this is also the case in intimate relationships, specifically:

http://app.griffith.edu.au/news/2014/12/17/women-are-more-empathetic-toward-their-partner-than-men/?src=hp

I am absolutely capable of putting myself in someone else's shoes. I feel second-hand embarrassment all the time. I'll get really anxious on someone else's behalf, because I put myself in their situation and think through all of their worries etc

AliceOxalis · 2016-08-19T23:00:37+00:00

I've rarely seen men accurately describing the internal psychology of the female experience. I don't see why men would have evolved the ability to empathize with women (or vice versa). I barely believe in empathy anyway. Men and women both have a lot of solipsism clouding their intuition, that's for sure.

ThirdEyeSqueegeed · 2016-08-19T23:04:43+00:00

There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding as to what empathy actually is. From the dictionary:

the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

I've got an online etymology dictionary definition here which describes it as 'in feeling'.

Sympathy definition is:

feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.

understanding between people; common feeling.

The online etymology dictionary definition here describes it as community of feelings, or fellow feelings.

I'm not sure men can truly feel what a woman is feeling but they can definitely feel compassion (from the dictionary):

sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

I guess if a woman is in a state of weakness and vulnerability a man will probably feel pity and concern for her, even if he doesn't truly understand what she's going through. If a man, in a relationship, shows weakness and vulnerability then a woman will often show disgust for his weakness rather than pity and concern.

I would say women more lack compassion for men, even though they have higher levels of empathy. They might be able to feel his pain and suffering but they don't care enough to help him.

HorusAeon · 2016-08-19T23:49:14+00:00

Male Psyche projects the inner world to the outer world and then back to the inner world. Men have bar fights to avoid inner conflicts. Empathy means surrender in most cases to them. So most of them don't do it until they see someone (usually another male, rarer a female) that resonates partially or completely with their personal past or present troubles, experiences. None or too little empathy can lead to Ego Mania.

Female Psyche injects the outer world to their inner world and then back into the outer world. Women eat themselves from within to avoid outer conflict. Empathy and sympathy from or in regards to other people is their survival. Women will empathize with an injured bird and project their own woes onto it. Too much empathy can lead to the loss of the Self.

[deleted] · 2016-08-20T01:44:03+00:00

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rediod6 · 2016-08-20T01:33:10+00:00

I feel extremely bad when a woman gets shit because of her sex and I wish that it didn't happen to her. I imagine what it would feel like to always be constantly under attack because of your sex and how tiring it would be. Is that empathy?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-08-19T23:18:37+00:00

empathy is a bullshit sociology/psychemology buzzword invented in the 40s with no meaning. no one has "empathy" for anyone

[deleted] · 2016-08-21T14:24:59+00:00

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monster_strapon · 2016-08-20T00:10:21+00:00

We can given the requisite experience.

I've been in the submissive role in sex and I know what it's like to catch the feels from that and the trust that is placed in the dominant. So, if I'm in the dominant role I really try to be sensitive to that perspective because I've been in it and I wouldn't want that trust violated if it were me on the bottom. I'm a straight male by the way.

This just isn't something that I would mention to just anybody. The idea of a man identifying with a woman is really taboo and quite personal.

despisedlove2 · 2016-08-20T00:10:29+00:00

I used to.

Learnt the hard way that it is self destructive for a man to empathize with a woman.

truthuncensored · 2016-08-20T00:19:15+00:00

The more a man can actually put himself in a woman's mind, the better he will be with women.

poppyblu · 2016-08-20T00:22:19+00:00

I don't think you are familiar with the actual definitions of empathy and sympathy.

alderheart · 2016-08-20T06:09:17+00:00

If men felt empathy, they they wouldn't try to intimidate women by cat calling or looming.

gasparddelanuit · 2016-08-20T07:20:44+00:00

Men generally try to be responsive and sympathetic towards women, but they don’t have empathy with them in the sense of truly understanding them. This is why even Sigmund Freud had to concede:

‘The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”’.

Importantly, men recognise that they do not understand women and do not tend to commit the solipsistic mistake of thinking that women think the same way that they do. Men’s daily encounters with and observation of women perpetually remind them that women have a different outlook on the world from themselves.

alcockell · 2016-08-20T07:33:21+00:00

Would labour saving devices like washing machines have been invented if men didn't empathise. Would those students have tightened the granular defence with that daterape drug litmus test if they didn't care?

Us techies try to find permanent solutions to fix the issue so it doesn't come back. Surely that is empathetic in a way?

-sick_sad_world- · 2016-08-20T08:53:47+00:00

The problem with discussions here is that they are way^{y^{y^{y^{y^{y^y}}}}} too general for me. Too many generalizations at hand, but let's assume, for the sake of argument, that they are true.

I see it all the time that women don't empathize just sympathize

Before assuming it's true, it's also necessary to know why you'd base an entire argument on your personal observation.

Different people have different levels of empathy. In fact, you'll find a whole bunch of research that indicates women have higher levels of empathy than men. I'd attribute most of the to environment and gender, but different conclusions can be drawn.

Some say women just lack empathy in general, others say they only lack empathy towards men, others say women can learn to empathize if they overcome their solipsism.

Gender differences play a significant role no doubt, but people with high empathy often find it difficult to focus their empathy on one group rather than the other, don't you think? That could be argued.

But for the sake of argument, let's assume that, due to gender differences, women are taught that men are emotionless dogs, and thus it would make no sense to understand or share their emotions anywhere, because they aren't there. But is this practical or real? Is this a biological fact, a social construct, or simply a gross exaggeration?

Mentathiel · 2016-08-20T12:59:32+00:00

Define empathy first. All humans without a personality disorder empathize, as far as I'm concerned. I don't know what TRPers mean by empathy. Empathy doesn't have to drive you towards a compassionate action.

FatTaker · 2016-08-20T15:06:43+00:00

Empathy is overrated, at least as long as it's defined as the ability to feel what the other person is feeling. Lots of people can do that, without true understanding why someone is feeling what they're feeling. They then might decide the feelings are unreasonable, because they're ignorant about what's important to that person and what their circumstances are. If what you're after is understanding of the other person, you need to think as well as feel. Putting yourself in their shoes is important, but you must respect your differences. If you dont, your empathy will be full of projection and solipsism. You can do it by educating yourself.

I don't think men empathise with women more than women empathize with men, unless they are feminist types who actively try to be sensitive and empathetic. At TRP, they educate themselves, but with a lot of their own emotions clouding their understanding.

Edit: whether empathy happens or not also depends heavily on whether you think the subject is attractive or cute, and worth investing all that time and effort into and learning about them. That's why redpillers experienced lack of empathy from women. Thats also why people feel sorry for some animals and not others.

play_time_is_over · 2016-08-21T12:29:36+00:00

Only the ugly ones.

Hot girls have pretty fun lives for the most part.

Fat girls just need to lose weight - one of the easiest things to do self-improvement wise - and their lives will be much better.

Ugly girls I empathize with though. No body wants them and there's not much they can do to change that.

Shazoa · 2016-08-22T14:13:24+00:00

When you're in training for the Samaritans, they place a fair bit of emphasis on empathy over sympathy. What I discovered personally is that empathy comes very easily for me and not necessarily for others, who I've seen struggle to even understand it and let alone feel it. When someone is telling you about how they are going to kill themselves, or is in the middle of an overdose, it's pretty hard not to empathise with them.

But obviously that's an extreme circumstance where most people can manage empathy. It's when you're talking to people about their general problems that it might be harder. I'm not a single mother and I'm pretty sure I never will be, but it's not as if you can't listen and empathise with someone that you don't intuitively understand. That's the part I saw people struggle with.

BeliefEditor · 2016-08-20T01:37:24+00:00

I want to answer this question but when you put it that way I'm afraid I don't have a firm sense of what the difference is between empathizing and sympathizing.

I know I do feel empathy for women (as well as for all people), absolutely. Although it took for people who are better than me to show me a couple lessons for me to become able to do that; namely Zan Perrion through his book The Alabaster Girl. I sure am glad I came across that book before I started exploring TRP's concepts deeply, otherwise I would've turned cynical and non-sympathizing toward women for sure. But as it stands - mostly thanks to what I learned from him - I love women and I empathize with them.

As for women's empathy toward males: I think biology makes them feel compelled to leave behind their old male leaders/captains/protectors/providers/patriarchs once they find a better/stronger/more resourceful one that ensures their survival even more than the previous one, and/or once the old one becomes weak/unstable/ill/handicapped/unable to protect and provide for them and their actual or potential children. So, their biology compels them to betray the old dude and go for the better one really easily, solipsistically, without remorse, but it doesn't necessarily mean that in their soul they are evil or mean or that they are incapable of appreciating the value of human life (including that of the males they leave behind) or that they don't empathize with them, it's just their evolutionary survival strategy.

Edit: Added what I think about women's empathy toward males.

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Title	Do men empathize with women?
Author	ThatGreekLady
Upvotes	10
Comments	84
Date	August 19, 2016 10:44 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4ylska/do_men_empathize_with_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-empathize-with-women.273485 https://theredarchive.com/post/273485

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