Posting in PPD since TRP and ATRP subs are cesspools now.

Title says it all - For some damn reason over the course of the last year, I’ve been meeting seemingly nice and cool women In their 30’s-40’s, usually single moms, either through online dating or at bars.

I should frame this as, I’m kind of a loser - I am in my 40’s but barely make 6 figures (in a very expensive city). I live in a small 1 BR apartment. I have no kids, never owned a house - I am somewhat in a state of arrested development. I work in a creative field (writer) and have an ‘artists heart’ I guess you could say.

Think Hank Moody but not as rich / cool.

The women are generally well off. Better off than me. They are attractive, fit, have a house, money a nice SUV and at least 1 kid.

Anyway, The encounters themselves usually seem to go really well. We start off light and friendly, tease each other a bit, increase to flirty, then more touching happens.

Eventually we end up back at either my place or theirs for some plausible reason (one more drink / watch this funny YouTube clip, play a vide game, etc)

And then..

Almost always in these situations, as soon as the door closes these women go FULL HO MODE. Things like lap dancing, sexily lying on the bed, talking about their bj skills, etc happen A LOT.

Then, we generally have some semi-sloppy sex, in which surprisingly often there is no condom request and I’ve even had a couple of “you can cum inside me’s” which was bizarre

Then one of us passes out, and does the walk of shame in the morning and returns to our normal life.

Inevitably after this night of partying and sex, I get ghosted. Sometimes a full on no-response, sometimes just lackluster responses, sometimes a non-commit to a second meet up, but the pattern is consistent. They seem to be having a great time while hanging out, and after that want nothing to do with me.

My question is, why he hell wouldn’t they just bail rather than banging? Why give it up to a guy that you are so repulsed by that you wouldn’t even want to see a second time? These girls were all attractive and have plenty of options. Yet, they chose to stay and fuck just “because?”

So, women who have done this and men who have experienced this - what are your theories?

Mine boil down to:

  • She just wanted a crazy night out to let loose
  • She thought the fact that I would party like that made me suitable for a ONS but not for dating
  • She simply had beer goggles and convinced herself there was something attractive about me, and realized the next day it wasn’t the case
  • She was a size queen and my dick wasn’t enough for a second ride
  • My performance in bed sucked
  • She had a boyfriend / husband and was just experimenting