Q4W - Does media raise your standards and expectations for men

DarmakJalad · 2023-08-29T17:13:13+00:00

Being constantly bombarded with images of extremely beautiful people affects how attractive we perceive the people around us to me, so I’d imagine it has somewhat affected my minimum looks standards in a way that cannot really be consciously lowered.In terms of the rest, I don’t really think so. I’ve basically wanted the same core traits in a partner since I was very young.

tinasnow-poty · 2023-08-29T19:54:56+00:00

I’m sure they have in some way but unsure how much you can prescribe to raising standards vs just growing up. When I was a teen I used to really like skinny boys - like stick thin - now I’m much more into healthy looking men lmao. Is that media raising my standards or is that just normal change for a 15 year old to a 24 year old? I still fancy Justin Bieber tho.

I do see where men are coming from in terms of women thinking certain builds can be achieved naturally when they’re actually using steroids. It was only when I got into fitness myself that I learnt about the signs of roid use. It’s not obvious to either gender either, there’s lots of arguments on gym related subs on whether or not the poster is natty.

Same with dates. When I was 17 I was happy with a McDonald’s date haha. Now I would not be unimpressed by a guy taking me to McDonald’s. Is that media raising my standards or just growing up and expecting more from grown men?

One way media has raised my standards for relationships is all those “extravagant” birthday set ups you see on social media like with balloons and rose petals etc. I think they’re so cute and would love someone to do that for me :) it doesn’t even have to be expensive either. My brother did it for his ex and other than the price of the hotel room it was cheaper than an actual date, but it looked extravagant

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-29T15:38:21+00:00

Not in specific. I think boy bands were a safe in-road to blossoming a sexuality and dealing with male sexuality. Romantic novels are fun and express a thing I knew I wanted in the first place and it just told me it is possible (which it is). Male models and actors were useful fantasy material for again, a blossoming sexuality. I really didn't find 50 shades of grey to be that interesting, the shit I read on Quizzila as a teenager was way more racy and hardcore than that.

I think my standards and expectations for men and irl relationships was more of a result of religion, seeing my mother's marriage, her advice to me, the advice of other married women, and my own sense of independence and desire for the love of my life or nothing. (And then obviously interacting with men and learning what I could and wouldn't tolerate or wanted/needed).

SianOiseau · 2023-08-29T15:01:30+00:00

I've never really been a huge fan of romantic films or novels, so it's pretty hard to tell. As a teen I liked Twilights, but I think they catered to my anxiety with the idea of eternal love and a lover who can't get sick/die/change his feelings more than anything else. They did not make me expect >100 years old man shining when the sun hits him.

What did raise my expectations is various examples of women in my family. From one hand, my mother is perfectly content being single, so I've never viewed romantic relationship as a necessity, from the other, I have a bunch of happily married cousins and their examples showed me that there are some good men out there who will treat you well and be your partners, not a liability.

1Here4Bach · 2023-08-29T17:24:24+00:00

No. My dad did.

Uglypostwall · 2023-08-29T23:46:37+00:00

Ken from Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse and Fools Rush In raised my expectations for men so high. In Fools Rush In, there is a scene of Salma Hayek dancing while Matthew falls for her. I imitated the same, but the guy laughed at me, lol

OpportunityLumpy3646 · 2023-08-30T01:20:42+00:00

Yes actually. I've recently started to explore what "average" actually even looks like.

The onset of social media in particular has skewed most people's perception of an actual average looking person. We end up thinking of truly, genuinely average folks as unattractive (even though they're not at all), while above average folks are considered average and model-tier folks are considered just above average.

AVERAGE people are just that, average. You can be average and still atttracive, or even beautiful to the right person. It just means that you don't particularly stand out in a crowd. There are very few truly unattractive people around (and for those that are, it's often a matter of poor grooming and stylistic choices).

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-08-30T01:29:37+00:00

Well knowing what men can look like certainly makes women less inclined to put up with complaints about their extra pounds from men who are similarly fat.

There's some very beautiful women out there in music, modelling, porn etc. We all get compared. It isn't some special burden just on men.

Birb-brained · 2023-08-29T15:08:57+00:00

No. Experience raised my expectations.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-29T15:04:49+00:00

My standards for looks were never that high to begin with, because I am able to differentiate between movie stars, fictional characters, and regular people. Also, while I've been told I'm cute or pretty, realistically I was never going to be Homecoming Queen or Miss America, and I'm all too aware of this.

HimNeutron · 2023-08-29T18:07:09+00:00

This will get deleted but there’s so much virtue signaling going on. It influences them, how could it not? It does to men too but the difference is a woman can do something about it.

neinhaltchad · 2023-08-29T19:14:56+00:00

ITT: Women simultaneously claim to be immune from external media influences but loudly complain about porn giving men “unrealistic body standards”

Once again, women are super humans immune from fallibility and the results of their media diet.

Men can be “pornsick” but women can never be “romcom sick” it seems.

baiser_vole · 2023-08-29T17:32:13+00:00

I think the people who grew up around less media/social media could be more in touch with reality. But I think OLD is probably the worst of them all.

For me though, there was my dad who was a unicorn. My standards and expectations are someone my dad would eventually approve of. Many of my values come directly from him.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-08-29T15:06:10+00:00

Boy bands and male models appeal far more to gay men than most het women. 50 Shades is quite possibly the worst, most embarrassing addition to pop culture since reality television, and universally panned for horrid writing.

Pop culture has plenty of strong, trustworthy, and compassionate masculine male role models in sports, literature, music, and social media. But they aren't in your list.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-08-29T16:52:38+00:00

No. I'm well aware most people don't look like actors/models/singers/fictional characters. Even those very handsome actors/models/singers wouldn't look as great as they do while they're at home doing the dishes or eating snacks on the couch. Also, their looks say nothing about what kind of partner they would be, so I can't see how they'd influence my expectations of a relationship.

Experience and dealing with normal people have raised my standards.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-29T17:04:32+00:00

Not really. I'm aware that celebrities don't look like normal people and the way they act isn't something I'm impressed with to begin with.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-08-29T17:34:01+00:00

Not really. I was always crushing on guys from my irl surroundings.

And women have been exposed to and fangirled over hot male movie stars since the 1920s

Safinated · 2023-08-29T17:41:20+00:00

Nope. I just want equitable companionship

Media, social information and personal experience has taught me that this is an exception, not the rule

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literaryhogwartian · 2023-08-29T17:15:42+00:00

Well 50 Shades is a book about an abusive man so I'm not really sure why this is here...

Ainsleygz · 2023-08-29T17:30:10+00:00

Yes, he must be as good at trivia as Ken Jennings

bottomluhan · 2023-08-29T20:27:58+00:00

Yes, because of it I have very high standards in all departments I don’t think 99% of men could reach

MidoriEgg · 2023-08-29T21:22:48+00:00

Maybe when I was much younger, like a kid. I think overconsumption of media is bad for everyone who does it and can really mess up your expectations of what’s normal and what’s acceptable

WeebR3axt · 2023-08-31T11:31:08+00:00

it does for women too. attraction can be influenced by society and culture and all of this stuff. In the past obese women were seen as beautiful in some places and in some random ass village in africa there are men with obese guts being seen as attractive. You can easily see it in asia too where in some countries men standards are not too much maaculine with a not too much sharp face. There is still a bit of "personal" attraction (not biological tho) but part of what we are attracted to gets shaped by society and our experiences.

Title	Q4W - Does media raise your standards and expectations for men
Author	HungerISanEmotion
Upvotes	3
Comments	42
Date	August 29, 2023 12:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/164hrw1/q4w_does_media_raise_your_standards_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-does-media-raise-your-standards-and.1230648 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230648

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