It never ceases to amaze me how people can be this oblivious.

So, a question from another sub that I had to read twice, together with an "advice" that I have to ask myself if it's real or just a troll.

"My GF and I met through bumble and fell in love and we've been dating since more than 3 months. At one point my GF revealed that she has had a lot of hookups in her past and has had sex on her previous first dates. I told her I wouldn't mind what happened in the past and things seem to be going really well between us except for us having sex.

When I start making out with her we do it well but she just rejects sex after a while and says she's not yet ready. She also said I'm perfect for her and it's her past which has been making her act up. I obviously say it's okay to take the time if she feels so.

Sometimes I feel left out and frustrated whenever I remember she made out/had sex on most of her previous first dates and we haven't even had sex after 3 months of dating and going out.

She told me herself that we'd probably be having sex tomorrow, but she has told that many times and called it off and it's really frustrating. I love her and all but How do I deal with this?"

and now the "advice"

"It’s very very possible that some of the events she experienced in her past could have been traumatic. Girls who participate in hookup culture may enjoy sex yet get into dangerous/uncomfortable/traumatic situations.

If she’s enjoying being intimate up until a point where she hits the breaks then it doesn’t have anything to do with you. She is not rejecting you, she is rejecting being put into a situation that makes her uncomfortable. Knowing that may help you to understand and take criticism without feeling like you’re at fault, if that makes sense.

My advice is to not pressure her or beg her as that will make her feel obligated, uncomfortable, and may even backfire by making her less comfortable having sex with you. So do not ask her over and over again when you have no reason to believe she may have changed her answer. Do not complain about how horny and unsatisfied you are.

Secondly, help her to figure out what she is and isn’t ok with. And by that I mean specifics. The truth is that sex isn’t some giant category that you say completely yes to or completely no to. You can be ok with some things and not others. You can be ok with only specific types of touch and not others. You can want to be intimate without penetration. You can be ok with being in a dominant situation and not submissive one. Feeling like you are agreeing to the whole package deal solely because you’re horny and want to intimate with your partner is very daunting, especially for someone who’s experienced negative/traumatic events. Sex doesn’t have to be planned. It’s not like “I’ll be ready tomorrow”. Just let it naturally progress as she gets more and more comfortable with different things. And always ask her what she would like to do. For example, ask what she would like to do instead. And other times, you can ask her if she is ok with a specific thing, and then not ask for any more. Like a sensual massage, or something intimate that isn’t full on sex."