What's wrong with polyamory?

KelIy_C · 2015-11-17T02:17:21+00:00

What's wrong with polyamory?

Everything

The concept of my boyfriend telling another woman that he loves her? Holding her hand...staring into her eyes...brushing a hair off her cheek....

I would chainsaw both of them to death in an extremely gory fashion.

alreadyredschool · 2015-11-16T20:28:18+00:00

Bad sexual strategy unless it's what gets you off and what you want.

DaThrowaway808 · 2015-11-16T20:18:09+00:00

It's not my cup of tea but I don't see why TRPillers fear it so much.

Just the other day I saw 5 RPers hiding under their beds because of polyamory.

GaiusScaevolus · 2015-11-16T21:41:42+00:00

To me, I can't honestly picture a scenario where I'd get into a relationship with a woman then be okay with her sleeping with other guys. So when I see said scenarios, I am skeptical of whether the guy actually wants that, or if he is trying desperately to placate a woman who is at this point just using him (Fyi: Most 'opened' situations I've seen are that)

I also see sex as a (perhaps the) defining characteristic of an adult, romantic relationship. Without sexual exclusivity, I struggle to see how it can be called a 'relationship'. If i'm f*cking multiple women, I don't consider it an 'open relationship', i'm single and hooking up with multiple women like a single guy does.

All this is my personal take on it. I don't believe in 'open' relationships. I wouldn't be in one and I'd caution those close to me against one (though oddly enough, a few of my best friends are poly). For randos on the street, I don't really care either way, I just wonder if its really what the guy wants.

drok007 · 2015-11-16T20:46:16+00:00

This talk of polyamory just triggered me and I shit myself with fear.

TRPThrowRug2 · 2015-11-16T20:30:14+00:00

If everyone is unmarried, no big deal. If you're "Spinning Plates", she's probably out "Spinning Chads" too.

If there's a marriage in there, it's probably gonna be some wimpy guy being a woman's checkbook, while she gets railed by her friend from the gym.

salmon69 · 2015-11-16T21:53:26+00:00

Do whatever the hell you want, but that's not going to stop me from pointing out how completely idiotic such an arrangement is. Nobody is immune from criticism.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2015-11-16T21:05:18+00:00

They might be happy with it. Why criticize them for what they do in their sex lives even if they're total cuckolds?

Because I can. Why criticize me for criticizing if it makes me haaaappy?

OmLaLa · 2015-11-16T20:18:59+00:00

I identify as polyamorous.

It's basically the same premise TRP preaches -plates and spinning and all that- but I've found it to be a bit easier management-wise.

Polygamy, on the other hand, is where I'd draw the line. I feel as though polygamy is a "have cake and eat too" type of relationship identification, and in most cases I've seen, either person enters the relationship leaning either polyamorously or towards monogamy. Usually the direction the dominating participant leans towards is what the relationship ultimately ends up as.

But that's just my two cents.

squidracer · 2015-11-16T22:19:25+00:00

I'm not.. It's called being single.

If I'm going to sleep around I'll just stay single.. If I'm going to make a commitment, then I will be committed

joesmithanonymous · 2015-11-17T00:39:51+00:00

It sounds good on paper, but most men are hard wired to conquer a woman and control her sexual behavior.

Take pre selection for example. It is a core tenet of TRP that experienced men are attractive to women most while innocence is attractive to most men.

There's also the burden of performance that men must bear to get sex, while a woman need only open her legs.

If men and women were the same, this would not be an issue. However they are not.

trp132 · 2015-11-17T02:00:46+00:00

I'm poly. I don't care. I think it's the same relationship market but amplified in intensity. If the normal dating was the market for food and services and goods, then polyamory would be the real-time high-stakes trading commodities market.

All the relationships are higher stakes, the trades are higher value, and happen way faster. For example, in a normal relationship, AF/BB means that a woman is married to one guy but fantasizes about sleeping with chad so she divorces him or just has a dead bedroom but doesn't cheat. In poly relationships, AF/BB means that a woman is married to one guy who pays for everything and plays video games while his girl is in the next room getting gangbanged while he listens. In normal relationships, plate spinning means an unmarried guy juggles 2 girls in casual relationships by sending them stupid texts and getting them distracted from their friends. In poly relationships, plate spinning means a married guy kicks his wife out of their bedroom so he can have a threesome with his two girlfriends at the same time.

Its intense but not that big a deal. The high stakes and high intensity means that losers lose harder and winners win bigger. Basically, if you are not emotionally healthy and know how to play the dating game and attractive and intelligent, you'll get eaten alive in poly ESPECIALLY if you're male and don't have the automatic SMV increase that a vagina gives you. However, if you have an above average ability to manage your shit, it pays dividends.

I fucked my wife and my girlfriend today, one right after the other. Last night a third ex-plate (in a mono relationship) jealously whispered in my ear all the things she would do to me if she was single, clearly (and verbally explicitly) inviting me to simply take her clothes off and drag her away so she could have plausible deniability that it wasn't her fault when she had to confront her boyfriend in the morning. She did this while my girlfriend was sitting across from us at the table. I didn't take her up on it because she got heavier than was worth sacrificing my conscience for.

wub1234 · 2015-11-16T20:57:48+00:00

Nothing is wrong with it if everyone is consenting. I can't help thinking that it will lead to jealousy in many cases, but as long as everyone is open about it then it's their choice. I certainly wouldn't agree to it, though.

jonascf · 2015-11-16T21:20:45+00:00

It takes a lot of time, that's one strong argument against it. But I still feel it's the best form of relationship for me.

Villaintine · 2015-11-16T21:55:50+00:00

Polyamory is fine so long as all the parties involved are aware of it, I'd also draw the line at polygamy because I personally wouldn't be willing to financially and emotionally support another person outside a monogamous relationship.

prodigy2throw · 2015-11-16T20:38:14+00:00

Cuz they're bitches and it's fun to laugh at them.

SirNemesis · 2015-11-16T23:54:07+00:00

Polyamory is great. Any RP man participating in polyamory must require a one-penis-policy though, no exceptions.

Whisper · 2015-11-17T01:17:23+00:00

TRPillers fear it so much

Yep, terrified of it. I check my closet every night before I go to bed, in case there's some polyamory hiding in there.

MissMaude · 2015-11-17T00:08:30+00:00

It's hard for me to wrap my head around polyamorous relationships even though I have a fair amount of friends in them. Recent threads seem to assert the idea that all women want a poly set up. I've not found to be true at all even for my poly friends who end up going monogamous when they're partnered with someone who asks for that.

gavinok · 2015-11-17T06:52:03+00:00

If both partners are actually polyamorous than there is no problem in the relationship.

even if they're total cuckolds?

But a cuckold isn't polyamorous. I would consider a poly relationship where both partners equally engage in sex with other people. Such as going to swinger clubs, etc. The problem I have with cuckold's, such as where the relationship is supposedly "opened", and the women fucks loads of guys and the husband does not, is that often times:

The marriage does not begin in a cuckold fashion, it's something the man believes he will get a benefit out of because his wife will love him more, but it turns out to not be true. Further more, the man usually looks for a stronger pair bond, which usually doesn't result from cuckolding.
It usually does not sustain itself. Many cuckold marriages end in divorce.

Ghost_Hound · 2015-11-17T08:32:20+00:00

I am apprehensive about the idea of polyamory not for myself but for most men I know. I've been in such a relationship once and I was fine because I was in a band at the time and could actually pull more lovers than my girlfriend could and the two of us engaged in group sex more often than anything else. My talent getting me laid and my marked lack of likelihood to go head over heels for anyone makes me pretty emotionally able to do this. That said, I know a handful of my male friends who just couldn't handle it and it ruined them. I think polyamory really only benefits women and a small group of men and if you aren't numbered among them you're gonna have a bad time. So I'm hesitant about it and I caution against it for most of my dudes but ultimately it's not the worst thing ever by a long shot.

Dietyz · 2015-11-17T09:31:18+00:00

TRP is fine with polyamory as long as your are the "bull" in the equation

ShangoThor · 2015-11-17T18:00:17+00:00

Given how much discussion about how women can cheat, polyamory isn't going to be greeted with open arms.

nomdplume · 2015-11-17T18:13:02+00:00

I don't see why TRPillers fear it so much.

Everyone should "fear" it, to some extent. You have to respect that you are playing with fire, relationship-wise.

Not that it's "wrong", mind you, but there are all kinds of ways that it can go wrong.

For it to really work and be healthy for (or, at least, not detrimental to) your relationship, your relationship needs to be operating at a very high level of functionality. For every success story, I've seen at least as many failures. Sometimes those failures just lead to going back to monogamy, but sometimes it does irreparable damage.

And just because someone consents to something (and there is no way to know exactly what they are consenting to - polyamory is something you don't know you don't know until you actually engage in it) doesn't mean that that is all it takes to make it work well.

Just look at how many people consent to any kind of sexual relationship and end up regretting it later. And polyamory is the "extreme sport" of sexual relationships.

CursedLemon · 2015-11-17T21:03:21+00:00

In a moral sense, there is absolutely nothing wrong with any intimate arrangement of any number of adults who have arrived at their preferred relationship style out of true freedom of choice, without coercion by any party.

In a practical sense, it's Manipulation Central Station.

EDIT: I'd just like to go on record with saying that the RP replies in this thread are hilariously pathetic. Even if the number of people who are truly equipped to deal with a multi-partner relationship is minuscule (and no, I'm not going to debate this), to see RPers completely unable to deconstruct another person's legitimate happiness with their situation that doesn't conform to manosphere conventions...well, it just warms my little heart. :')

flyingwaterlilly · 2015-11-17T22:39:47+00:00

Polyamory might be a good idea for bisexual folk maybe? Otherwise, whatever consenting adults agree upon is their business if it makes them happy and no one is harmed.

Edwizzy102 · 2015-11-17T23:38:44+00:00

you do realize that trp is all about poly??? plate spinning IS poly. people describing poly here are talking about LTR relationships. why invest anything in your LTR if shes going to have relationships with other people? better to just end the relationship, hang out with her to fill whatever void, kick her out of your place then on to the next one

wazzup987 · 2015-11-16T21:27:51+00:00

because they are jealous people who never got over there insecurities and can't get beyond jealousy

Title	What's wrong with polyamory?
Author	ThatGreekLady
Upvotes	3
Comments	249
Date	November 16, 2015 8:12 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3t28wr/whats_wrong_with_polyamory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-wrong-with-polyamory.278405 https://theredarchive.com/post/278405

Comments