When does it become slut shaming?

Will_Im_Not · 2014-11-26T19:34:10+00:00

Is it slutshaming to breakup with a LTR if you find out she has a promiscuous past that she wasn't honest with you about?

That's an honesty issue, not a promiscuity issue.

Is it slutshaming to weed out sluts for LTRs if you never tell them why?

No, because you're not shaming them. You're allowed to have preferences about who you date.

drok007 · 2014-11-26T19:40:04+00:00

Y/Y/N

You have full autonomy to choose your partners as you wish provided the other person agrees. You can have any arbitrary requirements. I find a "number of prev. partners" requirement silly and geeky (can't you just read a flirty girl when you meet one?), but it is your life not mine.

However, basic politeness requires you to not communicate your requirements if they are unkind but simply say "no, thanks" and move on without engaging in talking shit about other humans on or offline.

To put it differently, a rationally selfish guy would invest next to zero time in women or men he does not like, respect or love.

This is, at best, unrelated to sexual or relationship strategy.

If you engage in shitting on others on or offline that is mostly about something entirely different: the desire to feel better about yourself by putting others down.

AFormidableContender · 2014-11-26T20:34:26+00:00

It's never slutshaming because slutshaming doesn't exist. The notion of slutshaming is essentially to shame men for having a sexual preference women find inconvenient in an era of sexual freedom. If it's slutshaming to disparage or reject women who have chosen to have sexual relation with more partners than many men would deem attractive, which is something you, as a woman, can consciously choose to or not to abide by, then women's preference for tall men which men have no physical control over, or their desire for sexually successful men which requires a great degree or skill, or their preference for, say cut or uncut penis which men also often only get a 50% choice in should be met with even more ridicule for discrimination and considered a far greater reprehensible personal position.

Furthermore, it's no one's place to tell anyone else how, whom, or for what they are allowed to judge those around them and in judging, by what standard.

No one said riding the cock carousel didn't come with consequences. Buck up ladies.

Aerobus · 2014-11-26T20:27:57+00:00

Is it slutshaming to rant on the internet about "fucking whores who ride the cock carousel" without insulting the women to their faces?

I'd say yes.

Is it slutshaming to breakup with a LTR if you find out she has a promiscuous past that she wasn't honest with you about?

No. Disliking someone for their promiscuous past isn't slut shaming. You need to actively shame for it to be slut shaming.

Is it slutshaming to weed out sluts for LTRs if you never tell them why?

No. See the reason provided above.

homo_homini_lupus · 2014-11-26T23:19:15+00:00

Its NOT slut shaming to write about your own distaste for sluts on a forum for men and like-minded people. It would be slut shaming to go to /r/welovebeingslutsandareproud and start mocking them. Sluts are shaming themselves by going somewhere that's not for them and reading words not written for them

ArkiF · 2014-11-26T21:41:08+00:00

Yes. Both men and women do this in regard to women. It says everything about the person. They're scared they can't control the choices of another person and so they lash out. People who put other people down in this way are always scared deep inside, period.
No. Your personal preference is your personal preference.
No. Your personal preference is your personal preference.

Ignatius_Oh_Reilly · 2014-11-27T07:46:54+00:00

First I hate these SJW buzzphrases...

When she isn't dating you, someone you know and besides not wanting to be with her, you give a fuck. I mean you cannot like them for it, but if you go out of your way and you don't benefit from it, at that point it probably is.

I don't get these whole, it's wrong to break up with someone for any reason. You don't need any criteria to not want to be around someone, it's just whether or not you want to stay. It's not a court case, anything no matter how capricious is valid if the person thinks it's valid.

Is commenting on the internet, no not really. It's people discussing their opinion. It doesn't effect you unless you choose to pay intention. If anonymous people saying people like you are dumb whores and you actually care, just grow thicker skin.

Men slut shame way way less than women. Slut is for women what calling a guy a pussy is for men. It's a vague insult mean to hurt the person's reputation. Usually it's one woman is jealous of another who is doing better, has no big obvious flaw, so they call her a slut.

adrixshadow · 2014-11-26T19:09:08+00:00

Is it slutshaming to rant on the internet about "fucking whores who ride the cock carousel" without insulting the women to their faces?

That is the only case that is slut shaming.

The rest are the consequences of being a slut, which has nothing to do with slut shaming.

powerkick · 2014-11-26T20:02:34+00:00

Yes to all of the above, but for different reasons.

Fucking whores who ride the cock carousel

I love that. I absolutely love it when they say that, it tickles me in a way that goes, "How can you not see the contradiction?" RP is all about getting as many women as possible, or at the very least objectifying them so that one can get women easier, yet when women turn the tables, THEY'RE the ones playing unfairly. That's that kind of slut shaming.

Is it slutshaming to breakup with a LTR if you find out she has a promiscuous past that she wasn't honest with you about?

I admit that this one is subjective. Does it have more to do with the fact that she lied or the fact that she fucked (relatively) many men? Being promiscuous tells someone you really like sex. Lying about something tells someone that you lie. The latter is definitely not a healthy precedent to set while the former is just...well...normal. Who the fuck doesn't like sex?

Is it slutshaming to weed out sluts for LTRs if you never tell them why?

This is slut shaming in that YOU aren't the one being honest now and solely for the reason that she likes sex...which is the same thing you like. Assuming you, as a man had many partners and exclusively fuck women who had few partners, you have no legs to stand on here. You just look like a hypocritical asshole at that point. You get to fill up at the pussy pump, but GOD FORBID she rides the cock carousel! We wouldn't want to proxy touch penises, now would we?

Not to mention, it's likely that after college, anyone you fuck has already fucked someone else before you. I realized that I had to accept that fact the later I went without having sex. And so I stopped caring about it. If I have an issue with commitment with someone, I'll discuss commitment and what that means to the parties involved.

[deleted] · 2014-11-26T21:57:55+00:00

Yes, no, no

TRPACC · 2014-11-26T22:28:23+00:00

Trigger warning for ableism.

Is it slutshaming to rant on the internet about "fucking whores who ride the cock carousel" without insulting the women to their faces?

From my pov, that's pretty retarded, and slut shaming but primarily retarded.

The other two aren't slut shaming and are the opposite of retarded.

MikeMangum · 2014-11-27T01:53:12+00:00

I understand the PC grandstanding on slut shaming, but I don't give a rip. 1) Decisions have consequences. 2) people are free to judge you based on your behavior.

If you don't want people to think you are a certain way, don't act in that way. If you don't want people to believe you are an asshole, don't be an asshole. If you don't want people to think you are selfish, don't be selfish. If you don't want people to think you are a slut, don't be a slut.

TempestTcup · 2014-11-27T17:25:52+00:00

Let's put it in the scenario of a group of friends. Say one woman in your group has had sex with all of the males in the group plus many men outside of the group; would you be inclined to have sex with her or to LTR her? It is an indication of low impulse control plus it is very telling that no one wanted to keep her for anything except that temporary sex act. It means that she has little value to men except as a temporary sex partner.

On her part, she might just be having fun and being a free spirit, or it could be an indication of damage, low self-esteem, and desperation. It is the same way people might feel about a man who begs relationships from all of the women in the group or has sex with very low quality women. If a woman sees that a man is with high value women she would be more inclined to be with him than a man with a very low value woman.

sh1v · 2014-11-28T09:15:34+00:00

Rather than trying to re-define what slut shaming is, I think the more important question here is how do we make slut shaming more prevalent? Without slut shaming, sluts would run rampant even worse than they presently have, spawning ever greater hordes of bastards, depleting the coffers of government and just generally tearing apart the fabric of civilization.

[deleted] · 2014-11-27T10:34:22+00:00

When you start becoming an asshole about it, essentially.

Title	When does it become slut shaming?
Author	TomHicks
Upvotes	7
Comments	104
Date	November 26, 2014 6:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2ni1g4/when_does_it_become_slut_shaming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-does-it-become-slut-shaming.284260 https://theredarchive.com/post/284260

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