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Reddit Case Study on exactly what NOT to do

November 24, 2021

Here is a TIFU post that shows why RPW ideas always do better than 3rd wave feminism in real life.

Essentially, the OP kicked her boyfriend out (of the apartment he pays for) because the boyfriend had the audacity to offer to take out a loan for her so she can be debt free 15 years earlier while paying less money. The boyfriend realised that she is not worth his time and promptly dumped her. Now she can’t afford rent either. Peak toxic feminism, I have literally no words.

What would a RPW have done instead? Personally, I would have:

  1. Count my lucky stars that I found a man who loves me so much and wants to be with me so much that he is willing to take a loan out to help me
  2. Show my appreciation. Get dolled up, plan a cute relaxing night, make good food, make him a present, do anything sweet that makes him feel good. He expressed his love in the form of support, I want him to feel loved too.
  3. Get my act straight. This should be a wake up call. If it gets to the point that your SO has to help you out like this, it’s clear that you either need to start taking budgeting classes or you need help.

I’m actually also terrible with money (grew up rich so I have the magical skill of spending away any amount of money I have access to), so my SO and I decided that once our finances are combined, he gives me an amount to do as I wish every month and he would pay the bills, invest and build our savings. I was the one to suggest this. Feminists may gasp in horror. How dare I let a man control me like this??? Um sis, do you realise that 1. free accountant 2. no arguments about money 3. no shopping spree induced bankruptcy. Also, I have enough faith in my SO’s character to not be afraid of him like that.

I honestly feel a little bit bad for the OP in that post (even though she was laughably delusional). I don’t think it’s entirely her fault that she is so convinced that the way to go is to portray herself as independent to a fault, and get offended when anyone (especially a man, gasp) exposed the fact that she clearly needs financial help and she is not at all independent. I think the culture around us 100% played a part in this. The whole “smash the patriarchy” mindset means that people like OP lashes out instead of humbling themselves and seeking help.

It is such a toxic mindset and a great way to die miserable and alone.

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Post Information
Title Reddit Case Study on exactly what NOT to do
Author NotPast3
Upvotes 119
Comments 23
Date November 24, 2021 3:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–]Affectionate-Self440 29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She’s extremely foolish. He was showing his love and devotion to her in a huge way and she totally blew it.

[–]Rispy_Girl 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oof. Wow. If that's as much as she owns I wonder if it was worse than it sounded.

I hate talks of money. It's so hard and uncomfortable. Probably because of stuff in my childhood. Hubby and I are recalibration financial stuff too. It's so uncomfortable to even think about finances, but thankfully I completely trust him and his judgment and am happy to go along with what he suggests.

[–]rosesonthefloor1 Star 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I read the AITA post before the TIFU and man, the lack of self-awareness on her part (until she realized she messed obviously) was astounding lol.

Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

[–]sicrm 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

once she kicked him out, any possible empathy went out the window.

[–]WhisperTRP Founder 32 points33 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The single most important difference between RPW and FDS/feminism is trust.

Demands that you not give up a single iota of power or control to a man you're supposed to love are based in distrust. Which demands of us that we ask the question... "if you don't trust this man, why are you with him?".

One of RPW's most important core beliefs is that, while there are bad men, and men behaving badly, men, as a whole and in general, are actually good... especially towards women.

And the better, sweeter, and kinder women are to them, the more this becomes true.

[–]SunshineSundressEndorsed Contributor 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

And the better, sweeter, and kinder women are to them, the more this becomes true.

This has always rang true in my experience. In fact, the more I had my walls up, tried to put men “down a peg” to make him think I was high value and to massage my own pride, and made sure that my needs were met without a care (or even at the expense) of his needs, the more men “mistreated” me: I often got ghosted, dumped, yelled at, and cheated on. In hindsight, they were just reacting to my treatment of them.

When I made the conscious choice to become sweeter and kinder, and actually put in the work to be a better partner that has enough faith in my man to trust him, the men in my life almost always treated me with love, care, respect, and desire. A lot of women here are extremely scared of being burned and taken for granted, whether it’s from past experiences or, more often, from hearing myths and stories of bad and evil men. To get these women less anxious, I came up with ideas like “incremental submission” (where you carefully watch how he responds to small acts of submission and only up the ante when he shows an equal amount of investment on his end).

While it is certainly useful for women whose pickers are off and who can’t help but be attracted to the wrong men, another goal of this strategy was to get women to stop constantly doubting their men and thinking they have bad intentions. When you break it down like that, you can see just how much your good behavior has been and will be rewarded. That way, they can stop getting in their own way and actually behave the way that gets them the best results.

[–]LateralThinker134 Stars 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A lot of women here are extremely scared of being burned and taken for granted, whether it’s from past experiences or, more often, from hearing myths and stories of bad and evil men.

You teach others how to treat you. If you had a bad relationship, and treat all future men in ways that man taught you (i.e. wary defensiveness and mistrust) you're loading your past mistake onto men who likely don't deserve it... further poisoning the well.

[–]SunshineSundressEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

YES. My best friend, who is an amazing friend but a trainwreck of a partner, has sabotaged every single one of her relationships this way. It’s very sad to see, but all of my attempts to try to help her have been futile. She just needs therapy.

[–]golden_eyed_cat 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wholeheartedly agree with you! Without trust, it is impossible to work as a team in any relationship.

[–]CountTheBeesEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Interesting that she says the only reason was because he "wanted a future with [her]". There are any number of reasons he'd have done it, e.g. he was a nice guy, he wanted to help, it didn't cost him anything, he wanted a future with her and wanted to help her, but she jumps to the non-altruistic explanation where it is only that he gets something back for it. Even now that she gets she TIFUd she still doesn't understand men reward past actions while women reward future ones.

Also implicit in her assumptions, is the idea that it's ok to be beholden to the bank, to the government, to companies, but not your loved ones or your community, i.e., not to individuals, even if they are individuals you love. As if an individual is any harder to reason with or enslaves you any more than a faceless corporation. It's not feminism, it's a close cousin though, from about the same time in history. It's "buy ultra buy Naomi".

[–]NotPast3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Couldn’t agree with this more. Women accuses men of disrespecting their intelligence/independence by making assumptions yet make assumptions all the time about how men lack basic human decency

[–]memelia 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Now where can I find someone like OP’s bf 😂

[–]Pola_Lita 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I went to this woman's profile. Down about mid-page, there's a demotivational with a caption that says "BELIEVE WOMEN" and under that, "Suspend Critical Thinking."

Just under that is a snippet of convo where her comments have been removed by the mod "because it sucked", and things go downward from there.

I don't think this woman is a feminist by any definition. I think she and her BF are probably both just young, emotional and a little naive.

[–]dead_not_stupid 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even if she was set on not accepting it she should have shown her appreciation but kindly said no. I know I’d have a hard time accepting the loan but would still be so so grateful at the offer. The mindset of kicking him out and ruining the relationship because of pride is definitely a consequence of the toxic modern feminist movement. The idea of a woman being helped and saved by a man is so offensive in that world.

[–]whatsiteven 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Completely agree. That's actually absurd; like even from a pure selfish standpoint, who would turn down free money for clout?

But yes, it makes no sense to handle something you're not any good at if someone else is a) willing to help gladly and b) is significantly better at it. I'm not good with numbers, money, investments or any of those things, and guess what? I let the men in my life handle everything in regards to that while still making my feelings known (such as, "oh I really care about my monthly hair trip, so please don't remove it from the budget"). They can choose to take them into account or not but at the end of the day I expressed my opinions and beliefs and I know and trust that they are making the best possible decision all things considered (so if paying off loans is more important than a monthly trip to fix my roots, then yeah, it's probably a better judgment call). There's so much less stress and anxiety this way. And vice versa; I LOVE cleaning and enjoy cooking; there's no reason to want a 50-50 split if I don't mind cleaning everything and cooking most meals. We are interdependent, not dependent or independent.

3rd wave feminism is bad for women and femininity. It's essentially, "turn into a version of masculinity to garner any respect" and degrades all feminine qualities and traits.

[–]Key-Progress-8873 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What an insane level of disrespect. What's worse is that I can't even figure out an outcome that may have worked out in her favor. So, she berates her man and tries to dominate him - it works. He bites his tongue, lets her figure out her own way out of 25,000 in debt, despite she accumulated it in the first place, while continuing to financially support her and indirectly taking care of the debt anyway. Why would she want a man that has bent to her temper tantrum anyway? It's still a loss, for her and for him.

[–]Tonight_Majestic -5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

She acted impulsive, irrational and immature. She could have sat down with him and calmly explained her stance. He also acted impulsive by breaking up with her without a proper discussion. They're both immature in this scenario.

[–]NotPast3[S] 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Idk man, after that argument I’d be out too. Imagine being responsible for 80% of the expenses, offering to be responsible for even more, only to get kicked out of your own place and accused of being disrespectful.

[–]Tonight_Majestic 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Some of those posts are fake. I have a feeling that post is fake too.

[–]Tofu-Tech 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

she also posted on r/legaladvice about the break up and trying to keep the place.

[–]Tonight_Majestic 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh okay. And have him pay for it I bet.

[–]SnowOnCinders 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. This is textbook and good on the boyfriend for not putting up with that.

[–]donaldcargill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow what a breathe of fresh air.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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