The “girlfriend effect”

EvilDebraBarone · 2023-10-30T07:21:42+00:00

These are cherry picked photos meant to farm likes and views. Stay away from any trends

2023-10-30T14:46:22+00:00

TripleDragons · 2023-10-30T08:18:33+00:00

Goofy pics vs men who have grown up more lol.

A better effect is men in relationships vs men single and you'll see how much gym work they put in

Astroviridae · 2023-10-30T15:09:24+00:00

I guess I'll be the minority here and say I sort of did the "girlfriend effect" thing to my husband. He had no sense of style, so I helped him upgrade his wardrobe. Even now, I buy most of his clothes and I pack our bags when we go away. If I can change my clothes to accommodate his likes, he can do the same for me. I don't think it's a big deal. However, I don't totally override his autonomy and do take into account his personal tastes.

Although tbf, when my sister and I were younger, we we made a powerpoint for my dad telling him his style was bad and he should dress better instead. He dresses well now so I guess it set a precedent 😂

fuckyouyoufuckingfu · 2023-10-30T06:13:12+00:00

Changing men is bad, gifting men high quality self-care items like skin care, beard oils and fragrances or nice fashion items is usually hugely appreciated. My husband loves that I do it for him and every time he uses a product I gifted him he loves to show it off to me. It’s about complimenting the man’s taste and helping uplift it with our feminine know-how. I’m sure some guys might not like it but my husband loves it. It shows that I think about him and want the best for him!

The pay off is his skin is glowing and every part of him smells amazing with turns me on to no end, it’s a win-win.

RatchedAngle · 2023-10-30T13:27:06+00:00

Personally, it happened to me.

My husband neglected his health severely before we got together.

I was the one who pushed for him to start seeing a doctor and a dentist on a regular basis.

Now he’s losing weight, lifting every day, improving his testosterone levels (they were low), got a set of braces which he has always wanted but could never afford, and has learned how to style himself better.

But the downside of that is that forcing him to improve made me feel like a mother. Yes, he’s much happier, but being his personal life coach dragged me down.

If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t.

SunshineSundress · 2023-10-30T09:44:53+00:00

I know of more than a handful of girls who “glowed up” their boyfriends after getting together. I’m in the same boat as you where it kind of icks me out if a man would let me change his style and his life. It is a two-way street though, because some women are very insistent that they know best.

From my observations, the dynamic between these “girlfriend glow ups” is usually a woman chooses to date someone across or below her SMV (instead of across or up her SMV as women typically prefer to). Although he was easy to get commitment from, she did not feel 100% attracted to him as he is, and feels the need to change him. She will make improvements on his style (to fix his unsatisfactory markers of success, status, and social prowess), his eating/living habits (to encourage him to be more masculine and healthy), and his social circles (to help him become better connected and give him a chance at higher status).

It generally works out well, especially on the style front. But in this dynamic, although you will have a partner with overall higher SMV, you will also have a partner that you are leading and a relationship where you wear the pants. It works for a lot of couples, but I don’t think it is the best dynamic for RPWs who want a male-led relationship.

RedPillDad · 2023-10-30T19:19:06+00:00

A woman wants to spruce up her man so she can show him off. However, she also doesn't want him poached by another woman. Whenever I let my wife choose my look, it would end up being 'king of dorks' with sweaters and stuff.

CauliflowerElegant76 · 2023-10-31T17:42:48+00:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with this trend... It was pretty cute for the most part. Some of my friends have noticed their bfs changed their styles after they started dating, they asked for style tips and wanted suggestions from their gf. Personally, my bf used to dress pretty badly in the beginning and then he slowly started dressing better after noticing how well I try to dress. He asks me for style tips and wants me to pick his clothes. It's not that the women are trying to change their men... it's that men feel motivated to look better for their women.

capsuccessful1294 · 2023-10-30T06:37:22+00:00

The girlfriend effect actually is more:

Girls like guys who have sex and attract other women and are stable enough to have a rship

It's much less often:

Girls change guys in a rship so they look and act more attractive

Pickle_Juice_Can · 2023-10-30T11:20:39+00:00

So these boys just grew up as time passed, like the rest of humans. We all know men hit puberty later than women so there's nothing surprising here.

MorningFormal · 2023-10-30T23:26:17+00:00

In a way yes. Woman can teach men how to dress better. Get regular haircuts. They are less rough around the edges. I think.

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-10-31T01:47:48+00:00

I'm often told I dress very nicely. I don't intend to dress nicely per se, but the clothes I like and feel comfortable in happen to be blouses, dresses, high-waisted skirts, etc.

My husband is more of a t-shirt and jeans guy. I don't care much what he wears, he's incredibly attractive and I'm very proud to walk next to him no matter what. People do not often tell him he dresses nicely.

He has expressed an interest in upgrading his style into something a bit more formal over the years, getting increasingly more frequent. I'm not sure if it's been his proximity to my style or if he's simply getting older and advancing in his career. A few weeks ago, I inquired if he would appreciate me looking into some men's styles and purchasing some clothes in his stead. He said this would improve his life and be very convenient for him.

So, I purchased them. He likes them. Happy ending. I personally only run into the "mothering" feeling if I'm overriding his wishes or if he is very reluctant. If I'm working with him to improve his life, if he has delegated a task to me, I feel very much like a wife.

peace_love_mcl · 2023-10-31T13:29:06+00:00

This happened to me, and then I married him! I’m really into fashion and the beauty industry, so when I met my husband he asked me to help him shop and which skincare lines would be good for him, and we got into going to the gym together. Is he always 100% consistent? No. But he’s so happy and more confident now, and the “work” I had to do was minimal. I thought it was fun to do together! I think the difference for me though is that HE wanted to change, I didn’t change him, he just asked me to help guide him.

AutoModerator · 2023-10-30T05:58:52+00:00

Title: The “girlfriend effect”

Full text: There’s this new TikTok trend where women talk about the “girlfriend effect”. The girlfriend effect, apparently, is when an average dude transforms into an absolute looker once he gets a girlfriend. Example 1 Example 2

What are our thoughts on this? Is this a real thing, or are these men just maturing?

More importantly, am I meant to be be subtly influencing my boyfriends style? Trying to influence my boyfriend to dress better sounds like the kind of thing a mom would do for her son 🤢I also have no idea how men’s fashion works, so I’m inclined to just look at this as a fun little tik tok trend. On the other hand, I want to do everything in my power to make my partners life better and there are clear social and career benefits for men when they dress well. If learning about men’s fashion will make me a better girlfriend then obviously I’ll start studying, but it just seems so antithetical to the practicing of respecting and trusting my partner to lead.

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richardstarr · 2025-05-18T19:25:18+00:00

Women want what other women have.
Part of it it is, they see the other women have given him the stamp of approval so he's basically
"pre-qualfied".

There was a thing they used to do at concerts in the 40's to help make a male singer popular.
They would insert girls who would scream and faint. The result was, other girls, who were not paid, would
also scream and faint.

The only problem today is that women used wait for a man to be "free" before hitting on him and now women
are far more willing to destroy another woman's relationship to get what she wants.

FancyPants882 · 2023-10-30T09:43:09+00:00

I think this is total nonsense. Men generally want to put their best foot forward when going out, and once they get a lady they tend to put in effort to look nice for them on a date etc. The only way I can see it being an actual trend is if men's self-worth is extremely low (hence poor grooming etc) until they find a girlfriend and then they get and ego trip out of it (and put more effort into their appearance).

spicysenor · 2023-10-31T02:17:41+00:00

Some information for ya'll to consider:

Many men, when entering healthy relationships and reaping the mental and physical health rewards from the companionship, will become remarkably healthier and more attractive. Loneliness and stoicism can do a number on us, especially our skin health and overall physical attractiveness. It's like survival mode, many men don't really have any substantial support system and are seen to be producers and workers mainly, measured by their sole individual success. (Obviously this goes for women as well, but there are some interesting and unique differences that show in different ways.) This leaves out most thoughts of nice haircuts, fresh clothes, and confident stature.

Women (or "a romantic partner," that is) are the X-factor for men. Women are what unlock the next level for men. Being in a healthy relationship with your complement (someone that fills in where you are lacking in some regard) can bring great benefits to every part of life. I'm a romantic myself and that is what drives most of the action in every part of my life, but there is also a simple chemical and logistical result of being in a healthy relationship: I become better. I'm like me but x5. Maybe x10 with just the right woman.

That's why men can often look better when they're in a good relationship versus when they were single.

noneyahbusiness20 · 2024-04-07T04:28:31+00:00

In all honesty with my last boyfriend he took care of himself more by the influence of me , I lowkey think this is what they meant, it’s a natural thing that happens, like my ex boyfriend just did different things cause I myself was talking so heavily about them for myself and he just wanted to do them ??

Weekly_Art_3830 · 2025-05-23T09:20:53+00:00

I'd say this is somewhat true. when we first met my guy looked like your regular chinese uncle from the country side. While I look like a hot MILF not to brag. We are both in our early 40s. A few months after, he's now looking more like your yummy uncle, hahaha I didn't tell him to change anything tho. I think he just wanted to match my fashion sense so we'd look good together. I guess that's how it is when you are both conscious about making yourselves look attractive to each other. You both do your best to look good together.

valleybrook1843 · 2023-10-30T20:27:42+00:00

Do not tell your boyfriend/husband how to dress- I used to do this! It is controlling not “helpful”.

agile_structor · 2023-10-30T20:07:28+00:00

Can ment post here looking for women to date/marry?

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metajenn · 2023-10-31T02:27:01+00:00

I did this with an ex. He was already gorgeous. But i set him up with a proper barber and threw out the boat shoes for jordans and he looked like model. My male friends were like "wtf, hes the hottest guy ive ever met."

Title	The “girlfriend effect”
Author	Margareydragonslayer
Upvotes	57
Comments	46
Date	October 30, 2023 5:58 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/17jmp8b/the_girlfriend_effect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/the-girlfriend-effect.1236554 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236554

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