"Abusive men"

PatternEast7185 · 2021-06-23T21:55:31+00:00

also keep in mind that the term "abusive" is thrown around like it's nothing now.. i know you're talking specifically about wife-beaters, but chicks will call ex-bfs "toxic", "narcissist", and "abusive" nowadays like those terms carry no meaning at all... to call a man "abusive" is to imply that he is of bad character and has done something that is deserving of punishment, when in reality he could have rly done nothing but get annoyed at his unreliable girlfriend and call her out on shit.

ClickKlakk · 2021-06-23T20:05:51+00:00

One of my earliest RP relationships was with a girl who claimed to have been “hit” by multiple partners. She left them after being physically abused. She played the victim card well. Luckily for me, I was already deep into my reading and spotted the red flags from a mile away. When I did decide to cut her loose she erupted and tried her hardest to get me to lose my cool. Again, luckily I was prepared and I just took a deep breath as I packed my valuables then left. It was clear why she was finding herself in those situations over and over again.

extremekc · 2021-06-23T23:20:46+00:00

Yep, the "woman as victim" narrative is instilled in society, so they do not question the woman's actions at all.

WarViper1337 · 2021-06-24T00:06:38+00:00

The real take away here is that it is a huge red flag if a woman ever admits to being in multiple abusive relationships. One maybe I can understand but you better vet her hard to make sure you know what your getting into. The multiple abused woman is often a walking mental disaster just waiting to explode at any moment and they can be highly emotionally abusive and manipulative. In fact the tactic if admitting to multiple abuses is a way to get a man to lower his guard and trigger his protective instincts so that she can manipulate him. Don't stick your dick in crazy.

319Skew · 2021-06-23T20:33:15+00:00

There are some women that attract shitty guys and suffer for it.

I'm past the point where my heart bleeds for someone automatically because I should. I wait and see.

Abuse can be anything from calling her chubby to punching her across the head because she interrupted your show.

There are women who use the abuse card to gain sympathy from the masses and some that struggle in silence for years.

Also, while I would never condone assaulting a woman (unless threatened by equal or extreme force), I'm not inclined to believe that women are always innocent.

Some women strive to provoke a man towards aggression either from ignorance at the strength difference (having never been in conflict) or as a power move to either play chicken or get leverage from our court system.

El_Chutacabras · 2021-06-23T21:56:49+00:00

A chick starts talking about the "abusive" men in her life, is time to run.

She's got issues.

Natural_Student3300 · 2021-06-24T03:10:31+00:00

Thank you.... I've been labled twice as someone with "anger issues" and then in the meanwhile I've been labled a pussy by other women.... I don't see how this can be the case considering I'm literally the same in most every relationship.

Both girls who thought I had anger issues were very submissive, and into domination. And then when you get frustrated they start to associate me with some abusive asshole they previously dated. I'm starting to think these girls are actively looking for danger by trying to get their guys to react.

maziethemazing · 2021-06-23T20:05:24+00:00

This is solely my opinion:

When you spot a girl who talks about one abusive ex among other mostly normal exes-----> Chances are the ex was really abusive, and the girl is a normal person.

When you spot a girl who makes it seem like all the guys shes ever interacted with were abusive-----> RED FLAG. Either she is so bad that she brings out the worst in people (not justifying abuse, but you get the point), or she is broken in a way that attracts her to assholes (may be related to abusive father, daddy issues, childhood problems, etc.). In either case, it is best to avoid them.

Protocol_Apollo · 2021-06-24T01:16:56+00:00

Real abuse victims typically don’t open strangers with their abuse story especially on a first date.

I automatically assume light switch effect. It wasn’t abuse when she was with him (otherwise she would have left long ago), she was loving it then, but it was after they broke up.

They say their ex was abusive or an asshole but yet they stayed the whole relationship with him. Actions not words.

Now, why would they do this? Hamster + every female subconsciously knowing of man’s protective instincts (that’s why they cry too) = my ex(es) were abusive

Indis96 · 2021-06-23T21:56:50+00:00

I don't see this get talked about much, but I think it's an important Red flag to be aware of.

Same.

I'm a pretty stand up guy I'd like to think. I'm straight forward, direct, honest, and fair. I'd never hit a woman in a relationship unless I actually felt like I was actually being violently assaulted. When I hear about men that beat women I always assumed the men were scummy dudes that couldn't control themselves.

Same again.

Being blue pilled it would always lead to that assumption 100% of the time, no questions asked.

Women good > Men bad, don't question it or you are an incel.

kekw.

Nothing but stories of men beating her and punching walls and all that. I thought "oh you poor thing" and couldn't believe how common this was, like god damn I must be rare because I know I'd never do shit like that to a girl.

xd. thats when you truly start diving into the redpill for some dudes out of curiosity, that question themselves, yeah ALL women are supposedly 'victims'.

yet I met a fck ton of trashy hoes, even upper class...

That's when it hit me (no pun intended). Some girls don't just happen to date abusive men, the reality is some girls are just huge cunts.

I mean, at one point, as mention being BluePIlled back in the day, you have to question both sides, women 99% of the time, will put and shift blame on the man.

EVEN when she cheats and gets caught, not her fault, its the boyfriends and the guy she cheated faults. ''he knew what he was doing despite'', ''my bf didnt give me enough attention'', ''add default excuse for her hoeing out and not taking accountability for her actions.''

Shifting blame > Common saying of women are not held accountable. Its not sexist when its blatantly true in a lot of cases.

hell you can see small examples from day to day from women, such as spilling shit over, ''oh it wasn't me'' let me blame the person next to me instead.

Like this was the most entitled, aggressive, bitchy girl I've ever met in my life and it made me realize all her partners didn't have anger issues, she was just the common denominator.

Sure there are some relationships where the dude is being genuinely abusive. But to make out that when all women say 100% of their problems come from the man, is a hard cap.

And a huge red flag, if im dating a girl, and she claims ALL her relationships ended up in breakup beause she blames the man. You have to question yourself if she is shifting blame and making shit up to cover her bad behaviour...

Some women, like you just experienced, literally baited you into thinking that she was the angel, and the ALL the guys she dated where the ones that were bad, when all along, it was her...

Edit: I think its cool that a women responded in this subreddit and hits the nail on the head, can be all summed up here:

When you spot a girl who talks about one abusive ex among other mostly normal exes-----> Chances are the ex was really abusive, and the girl is a normal person.

When you spot a girl who makes it seem like all the guys shes ever interacted with were abusive-----> RED FLAG. Either she is so bad that she brings out the worst in people (not justifying abuse, but you get the point), or she is broken in a way that attracts her to assholes (may be related to abusive father, daddy issues, childhood problems, etc.). In either case, it is best to avoid them.

MrNegative79 · 2021-06-23T23:34:06+00:00

not condoning abuse but some women are so messed up that they can easily push a guy to get physical just to defend themselves or to stop that banshee scream

dealing with a bpd can get like that, you can get so beat down by the bs that you can lose control

abusive men are just going to use those situations to beat down on a woman but a regular dude can still be driven to doing something regrettable

once you start spotting the major red flags it's time to leave cos if you cross the line then it'll be used against you

largepaycheckaddict · 2021-06-23T22:37:52+00:00

Some girls happen to attract that into their lives because deep down they crave the abuse. They know they’re dog shit and the fact that a man would risk his freedom and reputation by getting violent with her is a cue to her that he cares or else he’d walk away.

Schhwing · 2021-06-24T02:20:26+00:00

Also (and this might sound bad for the feminists and sensitive), some women need violence in a relationship due to pathologies in themselves. And they subconsciously seek it and incite in men because they need it to feel “normal”.

These women should be avoided because there is no winning for either party in a relationship like that.

lookoutitscaleb · 2021-06-24T05:37:35+00:00

LOL
Any chick who was with a BUNCH OF men who beat them... .

FUCKING RUN!
Either she is a poor soul and picked bad dudes, to which, she is playing the victim and trying to manipulate you.
OR
She triggers the fuck outta her partner, and likes the abuse subconsciously.

Possibly a mix of both.
My most favorite term lately for relationships has to do with emotional maturity.
Water rises to its' own level.

Finally out of the Fog myself. My ex had a slew of physically abusive exs. As her mask came off I wanted to smack that woman more and more each day. An old coach of mine taught me that these women do this for dominance. In the wild we'd take our return in blood or turning them into a sex slave, nowadays we are condemned if we raise our voices to women.

I'd consider myself a pretty zen motherfucker too.

MixedMartialArtsGuy · 2021-06-24T10:25:10+00:00

I also used to think men were just terrible when young - why would any man hit a woman ... unfortunately when you're older and more experienced you realize that women usually cause this via provocation such as hormonally unstable hitting first or via infidelity.

If it wasn't for universal suffrage ruining a lot of gender laws, this would probably be codified in law as an acceptable case of self-defence or reaction to mental abuse since sexual infidelity is an extremely strong evolutionary trigger in men. Almost no man just wakes up one day and decides it's fun to start beating his wife or girlfriend, nor does he have wildly fluctuating hormones affecting his mood throughout the month, most of the time under normal circumstances he'd much rather be having sex with her instead.

Now if I hear a man hit a woman - my first thought is "What did she do to provoke that".

DarkSyde3000 · 2021-06-24T05:18:00+00:00

Lol yup. The ex-boyfriend knows a great many things the current one does not. I learned the above lesson in my early 20's which was a pretty long time ago. It's never worth the time nor the effort to even bother with them once you know they're bat shit crazy. It's like strapping a time bomb to your life. It will go off eventually.

Thorusss · 2021-06-24T07:38:52+00:00

The harsh truth is that being abused before is a huge red flag for a even superficial relationship with a woman. Either because they -as you describe- get the worst out of a man, and even if not, you have to deal with the trauma she carries with her. You want a woman that talks well about past relationships, with reasonable causes, why it did not work out.

Reminds me of the observation, that people how change employers because of "mobbing" often get "mobbed" again, at the new place.

catsdontsmile · 2021-06-24T13:20:29+00:00

Bill Burr: "Every ass kicking doesn't just fall out of the fucking sky."

SirFrancisDrake2020 · 2021-06-23T23:58:29+00:00

Good post. Another factor I haven't seen mentioned yet is that quite a large number of women actually enjoy pain to a certain degree, and actually want to get hit. Now I'm not talking about getting properly beaten up here, but more being dominated; spanked, whipped and slapped in some cases. Anybody who has experience with the BDSM community knows how common these fetishes are among western women, and it seems to be growing. Of course, even though its consenual it's easy for some woman to turn around in future and claim they were abused - even though its what they wanted and even initiated in some cases.

Sometimes girls will also act out in the hope they will get manhandled - especially if they aren't getting the domination they crave from the guy, or they've just feeling bored. Of course in some cases certain guys will take things too far.

armenian_UwUcide_ · 2021-06-24T09:45:27+00:00

Believe it or not, some girls downright fetishize it and (perhaps subconsciously) train their men this way. I had an ex-LTR/OLTR like this; I really wanted a “normal” relationship with her but she did everything she could to piss me off and got wet when I finally lashed out. That was a huge red pill to swallow when I realized.

There are a lot of girls that just seem more keen on toxic dominance as opposed to benevolent rule. Avoid these unless you want a human punching bag.

Limekill · 2021-06-23T22:08:50+00:00

consider the fact that people widely believe men go for looks in women and women go for personality

science debunks that completely; it seems that the explanation for that widely-held falsehood is that women are more prolific liars and better PR managers

now apply the exact same pattern to "I was abused by all of my many many exes" and the cultural belief that swathes of men are beating their wives etc

goblin_champ · 2021-06-24T10:00:19+00:00

Lol yeah girls like that are a major red flag.

My first relationship was like this. She had a number of abusive, hurtful exes and i was the teen captain save a hoe.

Took me a while to understand that she was the problem. Not making that mistake again.

mrrooftops · 2021-06-24T11:45:05+00:00

The more a woman is in your 'frame' the more she delegates responsibility to you about pretty much everything. So she can always turn the blame on you for almost everything. Add that to the modern victim culture of women and it's an easy out for them in any situation. Even if you were a perfect angel in a relationship, they can find something to accuse you of, because of power. Most men who attract women into their frame (intentionally or unintentionally) don't fully understand the responsibilities of doing so - those are some who are actually abusive because they aren't used to that power.

Whisper · 2021-06-24T16:23:12+00:00

I'd never hit a woman in a relationship

I would. To say otherwise is to claim that there are no circumstances under which a woman might deserve an ass-kicking. That's not true for men, why would it be true for women?

One of the basic reasons that most men are decent to each other is that they know there are things they could do or say which would result in an expensive emergency visit to their dentist the next day.

I see no reason to exempt women from that rule.

ExplodingSamsung · 2021-06-24T04:05:34+00:00

Go join the discord and the outside forums. fuck reddit

MixedMartialArtsGuy · 2021-06-24T10:28:27+00:00

A woman who complains of terrible Ex's is invariably a red flag as she's projecting her own problems.

This is the same as women who cheat telling their new dates that it was their ex who cheated when asked why their prior relationship broke, because it's not like they could admit the truth and still expect to dupe some gullible Beta Male into commitment otherwise.

dudewheresmyclit · 2021-06-24T11:37:21+00:00

Some women I swear get off on drama. I've seen it in my friends relationships. It's comical at this point. They will just straight up start accusing the man of shit. Maybe he did do it. She can't do anything better and neither can he. They've both left no-drama relationships because they're " boring." It's almost like watching a cat attack you because it's board or bop another cat on the head. I usually tell them to wear a condom or use birth control so they don't bring anymore poor kids into this world.

makeadolfgreatagain · 2021-06-24T12:01:46+00:00

I've seen multiple women pull this card.

My favorite was a classmate who talked about how toxic her boyfriend was and never gave her attention. One month in she was cheating with a guy from class and her boyfriend discovered the lovers wallet at their apartment. She ended up fucking a few other dudes over the course of a few months, and had the audacity to be depressed when the boyfriend broke up with her and moved out. I'm sure she talks about how her toxic boyfriend abandoned her to this day.

new_alpha · 2021-06-24T12:45:47+00:00

My last ex the relationship lasted about 2 months. I had considered shooting myself in the head out of full anger and despair of how bitchy and cunt that woman was. I almost said "you know what? fuck you and your bullshit" a dozen times before erasing the message. She was emotionally abusive but she made it seem that I was the one angry and that couldn't talk rationally.

This is the real deal. Women can fuck with your head pretty hard. it would be easier on my mind to run a Tren cycle for 12 months straight on high doses than to withstand that amount of bitchiness. I get goosebumps just from remembering

tardiswho · 2021-06-24T13:58:05+00:00

You're only "abusive" when they dont respect you anymore. Im not saying to go beat the shit out of your plate or ltr. When I was super blue pilled I knew this girl whos boyfriend would hit her and she would tell me how it was her fault blah blah blah, he was never "abusive" and when they broke up she dated the "nice guy" and because he would raise his voice over some dumb shit she'd do like her talking to her ex or some shit but he was "abusive". Even my high school girlfriend told me, she respected her ex bf because he hit her.

AaViOnBando · 2021-06-24T14:47:45+00:00

While hitting a woman first is a totally despicable and unmanly thing...

you cannot deny some women really mess with people's brain on purpose, and sometimes just to get hit so they can go to the police (I've seen such cases)

Like if I have a bear next to me I will not decide to randomly poke it until it eats me alive

cluelessguitarist · 2021-06-24T18:10:02+00:00

I ended my last relationship because she wanted me to hit her , like she was being agressive and trying to "try me". Of course i didnt play the part , im a big guy that trains combat sports, i have fought fighters, i dont need to hit a crazy bitch with a big ego trying to prove something. Some women want to be treated like shit, dont fall for that trap, not worth going to jail for crazy hoes.

BoogieWoogie1000 · 2021-07-02T04:04:56+00:00

Yeah, she probably sucked. But that is no fucking excuse to hit someone you fucking pieces of shit.

wiisportsresortII · 2021-07-12T10:04:03+00:00

I swear I wish you guys would grow up, don’t you see that hitting people for being a cunt is a pretty childish and batshit crazy thing to do? Only a shadow of a man would even think of that, because only weak people see violence and anger as the out for dealing with hard situations. Yet you still blame women for this, while being completely blind to your own flaws. You’re just as shallow as children.

delusionalubermensch · 2021-06-23T21:05:50+00:00

They say you attract people at about the same level of emotional maturity as yourself which would explain the phenomena you ran into with this woman. I’m just ending a relationship with a woman who is similar. Makes me wonder why we attracted each other because I must have some work to do.

Hviterev · 2021-06-24T11:16:24+00:00

Yes. If you go deeper into it, you'll also realize that some girls also create those situations on purpose because they want to be abused. Whether out of kink, childhood issues, whatever.

Depending on how fucked up you are, it can make for very entertaining relationship, but you need to have your frame cranked to 11. You need to be in control all of the time, and take out the stress as intense punitive sex.

I'm pretty sure many people will tell you that you should avoid that because "It'S 2021 AnD YoU CoUlD gO To JaIL" but I've never been worried about this. If you feel confident you can handle those situations and you aren't worried about being accused, go have your fun.

danaw1992 · 2021-06-23T22:04:29+00:00

And what does it say about you that you dated her? You didn't think of that, Billy beta

NixValentine · 2021-06-23T20:47:55+00:00

so you're saying they turned these men abusive? LOL

Revorob · 2021-06-24T06:15:17+00:00

It's like the saying: the one thing all your relationships have in common is you.

Pezotecom · 2021-06-24T06:21:48+00:00

Of course we shouldn't be punching each other, especially our partners and most importantly we should only defend ourselves with enough tools to minimize the damage dealt to our attackers in proportion to the threat.

But I also get your point. Women, men, furries or whatever; everyone can get on your skin and make you feel threatened. The thing is to avoid a fight unless you are in danger.

TheBunk_TB · 2021-06-24T11:58:57+00:00

I also remind men here that after many relationships fall apart, a large cross section of the women mentioned above with throw around "abusive" or even "narcissist" to deflect any responsibility for their end of the failure. Ive heard it after a guy split up with them after boundary crossings, etc.

Ive heard it even after the man refused a woman's begging to get back together.

Shadowpersonality · 2021-06-24T12:58:35+00:00

The fact of the matter is usually the women that get beaten are belligerent, abusive, aggressive people that are super disrespectful to their partners.

Herdsengineers · 2021-06-24T15:12:53+00:00

Broken attracts broken, and hurt people hurt other people. If a woman reveals multiple abusive partners, it could be:

True - but a red flag that she's got something wrong in her that attracts them AND that she is attracted to them. Usually has to do with being a drama queen, the guy is also dipshit crazy, and they trauma bond at first, then their crazy bleeds onto each other and things blow up. Girls like this will try to recreate the crazy cycles with you, and will escalate their behavior to try to get you to react. It's not worth the trouble, next them as soon as you hear "multiple abusive ex-'s"
False - she's the common denominator, and she's playing the victim card to avoid her own accountability for being a cunt. She's probably been told by a bunch of guys some version of "get out of my life you miserable bitch". Again, it's not worth the trouble, next these witches too.
Both of the above (as she gets older, this becomes the most likely) - lots of times the type of girl that attracts/is attracted to abusive men is also a miserable cunt herself. She's usually likely been smacked around, done her share of smacking around too, and also been sent packing by decent guys many times. And she's probably also done shitty things to unsuspecting decent guys many times, and then hamstered her justification for it "because he was abusive", made up a bunch of out and out lies, so she could twist some way of blaming how she victimized the guy on the poor guy.

It's not worth it to even stick around long enough to figure out the details for any specific girl, just know that if a girl is claiming lots of abuse in her past from ex-'s, one way or another she's playing victim cards for sympathy and grooming you for further manipulation down the road. Don't stick around to find out more, just next her ASAP and don't give her the chance to play her games with you.

podgoorsky · 2021-06-24T18:51:21+00:00

Maybe it was common for her only.. most likely. But most dudes are insecure, many these huge guys or flashy ones.

krym33 · 2021-06-24T18:54:18+00:00

Truly a red flag, the same for "my ex has my nudes". dated a girl for exactly 9 days till she said this to me, she came back to her ex after I was done.
Nudes are like bombs, its nice to see one, but why the hell you want to keep one on your frigging pocket?
I have a theory that girls that are huge cunts just want to be dominated but don't know how to put it, so it becomes abuse. By dominated I don't mean only on sex and relationship , I mean on life in general.

redvelvet_oreo · 2021-06-26T13:10:55+00:00

I always find that girls who bring up how they were abused by their Ex's casually, like its a normal thing, something is off with the story. Not to say it didnt happen but there is always two sides to a story.

OTOH there are girls I have met that were obviously abused and will never mention it and if they do mention its usually unwillingly and after knowing you for a while.

Just been my experience.

Victims are usually embarrassed at the fact they are victimized, not something they want to advertise to accrue attention.

sobrage · 2021-06-26T15:35:23+00:00

In one of these situations myself atm. She's so entitled, passive aggressive all the time and then giving me shit for not leading her and not initiating enough interesting things. I was thinking maybe I'm the problem here but with every day I think more and more that I can't deal with such a girl, always mad.

MattyAnon · 2021-06-27T16:04:57+00:00

and couldn't believe how common this was, like god damn I must be rare because I know I'd never do shit like that to a girl.

When you've heard the lies your ex girls talk about you, you realise how many lies girls are talking about other guys.

And then you learn to sift through the lies.

She'll say something like "He was abusive" and you ask how and you get "he was emotionally abusive" and then you probe more and this emotional abuse is when he's had enough and leaves.

Or "All my boyfriends have physically abused me" and then you probe, and it turns out one guy hit her back after she hit him first.

If a guy dumps a woman, he will forever be the abusive ex.

Women prey on white knight tendencies in men, by lying about the abusive ex. Funny how they never complain about "all these nice guys who just want to treat me right", and they never admit any wrongdoing even though women are the greatest emotional abusers.

and it made me realize all her partners didn't have anger issues,

Of course not. She dates angry men and induces them to hit her. It's a syndrome, it happens. You have to just walk away.

papunigga031 · 2021-06-30T05:32:59+00:00

This wouldn’t have been a problem if you didn’t dive into relationships with girls off the bat.

This is why you vet.

CarbonBasedLifeForm6 · 2021-07-01T17:12:21+00:00

These are the only opinions you can share on this sub any other one will literally wish death upon you

MisterNavit · 2021-07-04T11:34:22+00:00

She may have been trying subconsciously to tell you what got her wet. It may be the reason why she was bitchy, because she was not doing well in a healthy relationship. She needed to feel your punch on her face more than your dick between her legs. Because if daddy hit her, so should her boy toys. Honestly that was a gigantic red flag and in your place I would have left. It's downright disrespectful to tell me, while you're dating me, that you always pick abusers, implying I'm one of them.

EventHorizon182 · 2021-06-23T20:13:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rekabis · 2021-06-24T05:44:50+00:00

Nothing but stories of men beating her and punching walls and all that. […] Some girls don't just happen to date abusive men, the reality is some girls are just huge cunts. Like this was the most entitled, aggressive, bitchy girl I've ever met in my life and it made me realize all her partners didn't have anger issues, she was just the common denominator.

If you’ve run into an asshole in the morning, you’ve run into an asshole.

If you keep running into assholes all day long… you are the asshole.

Just keep in mind that this knife cuts both ways. Yes, I know, AWALT. But if all you are seeing are cunts who are all being horrid women in about the same way, then maybe it isn’t them.

Title	"Abusive men"
Author	EventHorizon182
Upvotes	586
Comments	167
Date	June 23, 2021 7:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/o6k7ib/abusive_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/abusive-men.786223 https://theredarchive.com/post/786223

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