Three years now that I have swallowed the pill, or at least tried.

Long story short: found out ex-wife cheated, spent two years in limbo with her being a wuss about getting a divorce (hardest thing to do after being raised in the blue pill fantasy)

I believe I am finally moving forward and making real progress in terms of personal growth and decided that my health is more important than anything I do, because without my health I can’t do what I want in Life: Art, music and travel. My art needs me to be physical, move around and not slow down, same with producing music and travel.

Over the past few months I went from drinking almost everyday, at worst a 12 pack starting from when I was off from work til midnite, to the present:no more than 4 beers per week.

All I did was drink my pain and not face my feelings, the pain and anguish, instead turning into an angry lil bitch. I mean, drinking and being a mean angry troll of a man in front of my friends and family, strangers, new girls , scaring away a lot of people from my life

Fuck that. there should be sidebar material on not drinking during the anger phase. Even worse, I have a lot of holes in my memory, hell, I have projects I finished during that time that I don’t remember much of me creating or developing. Scary.

We all know the side effect of not drinking, you lose pounds fast! (Jawline!) Not only that, you see results, and you start to figure out where else in life you can clean up. But most importantly, I got clarity. I can now face myself without judgement or shame and just accept the situation for what it is and move forward without negatives or being ashamed. Instead I can now live my life knowing that if it’s not the way I want it, I can change it.

I am now a homeowner, made my home into a home studio where I have space to paint, make music, do animation and store my brand new sports car that I never knew I wanted LOL my blue pulled self told me I needed a partner to buy that big house. Hell, me and my ex were even going through the process to get pre-approved during her affair. Ouch.

I wanted a Disney fantasy blue pulled life three years ago, but once I let go and really started to look at myself without the alcohol, I was able to see what I really wanted. The freedom to take charge of my life instead of leaving it to my fairy god mother . I just got back from Athens , and am ready to go party it up in LA.

2018 is going to be bright.