Don’t be me.

PiperBigBell · 2023-09-12T04:45:29+00:00

I almost feel kinda, barely sorry for you. I had a situation where my landlord wanted to move back into her condo, I didn't have the money saved to get a new place as I was too new at my job, still on probation. My girlfriend, one who I felt leveraged and ultimatum'd me into an LTR, let me stay with her so I wouldn't be out on the street. 2 weeks into staying with her my boss said he didn't care for my performance thus letting me go.

So I was fucked. I spent two years living in hell, broke because any job i could get wouldn't pay enough to get me a place, living in servitude, sickness, depression, suicidal ideation, getting emotionally abused and used for dick. And constantly threatened. Lying to her everyday to avoid getting kicked out. Although it was utter hell until I got a nice ass job and moved out, there were good times.

And we both held each other down. And it was then I learned the value of being committed, of serving someone, of stability, of being forced to constantly introspect to survive. I learned that I was a failure as a man and that even though I thought i deserved better than how she treated me, almost costing me my life.

That because of how I lived my life, I was getting taught everything I needed to know. I was living in a pseudo marriage on hard mode. I learned that all of my desires for women, to escape her and that situation, were rooted in pride, ego, FOMO, entitlement, and trauma.

My point in all this. You have a good girl. She's holding you down. You think you don't want to be with her but the truth is women like her are hard to find. She's the greatest teacher you'll ever have and you probably don't deserve her. The greatest value a woman can give is showing yoy exactly who tf you are and how ugly you really are. That's the beauty of them never being satisfied.

This woman who faithfully submitted to you and held you down, you're going to abandon her and ruin what to her might be her last chance at happiness for years to come. It's cold. Selfish. I thought I hated my ex for what she put me through. But more than anything, I hated myself for not being the kind of man who could have appreciated what I had. I wanted to level up so desperately, and once I had that new money, I realized they could never match the emotional fulfillment of being with a good woman, one you spent all your time with. My victory was hollow because it was based in reveling in the baseness of the human condition.

My advice to you: take some time to appreciate what you have. Find new ways to make her sexy. Examine why you want what you want out of women and life. If it makes sense. Where it could be rooted in. What it would lead to in the future. Who inspired the desires you have? Your ideas are not your own.

Once you take some time figuring that out, go to your woman and make solid plans for the future. Because right now everything you're thinking and doing is rooted in escapism, anger at the past, insatiable lust and greed. You don't want to leave her. You want to leave lack of control and agency you have because you live on her terms most likely. You most likely resent her to a great degree whether you know it or not. You want to leave brokeness. And every second you live with her is a reminder of how YOU fucked yourself. And you're gonna make her pay for it. I been there and done that man. It's a cold road but there is a way to do this.

I'm probably telling you something your ego will never fully comprehend. But learn to love living there. Learn to call it home. Learn to see it as a way forward. Learn to see her as a helpmate doing her job the best she can.

Most of all, do not rush on getting some wtf job just to leave. Focus on quality. Hire a resume writer. Learn how to market your skills better. Learn to interview better.

I know this lengthy shit probably lost you but someone needs to hear this.

Last, learn to take accountability for every good and bad thing that has ever happened to you. Be kind to yourself in this process.

If you want quick money just to empower yourself, you're gonna have to take a shit job. . Else, strap in. The market is nasty and you have a lot of job skills to work on. I suggest getting into tech. Something wfh. Take online courses.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-09-12T03:35:44+00:00

So you’re an uneducated, unemployed, fat, broke 26yo who can’t get a job, doesn’t do his due diligence & wastes money (5sec of research would’ve shown you you can’t get hired as a commercial driver with a DUI), and SHE’S the shitty half of this relationship? The good looking woman who pays your rent and does your laundry? You’re delusional. Enjoy Vietnam and let her go find someone with half a brain and something actually going for him

kayne2000 · 2023-09-12T09:02:38+00:00

There is nothing wrong with starting a family. If she's a keeper, lock her up and do so.

TRP isn't about chasing women per se, it's about men becoming men by improving their lives, and having a family with a woman is a part of life improvement. All the heroic manly men of the past TRP loves to aspire to be never saw having a family as a detriment. Some like the literal father of Amercai himself George Washington lamented not being able to have biological children with Martha.

I know TRP craps on families because divorce court rape is real, but still, if you've found a keeper there is nothing wrong with getting serious and starting a family.

The problem isn't your LTR, it's you yourself are stuck in a rut and you're choosing to blame her for it.

Go find a job, exercise, and get your mind, body, and spirit back in alignment. We all got bad times, it's all good.

AnonTheGreat01 · 2023-09-12T08:18:33+00:00

I think it's obvious to anyone here, that she's too good for you at this moment.

And still you're the one who wants to leave & upgrade.

You know, we ridicule women with overinflated perception of their SMV all the time here, right?

You're like the male equivalent of a deadbeat girl who is dating a middle class guy thinking she deserves a millionaire...

To a woman like that, we would say she's for the streets. Check yourself.

notthatbigbrother · 2023-09-12T09:38:01+00:00

Meanwhile your girlfriend took you in, trying to help someone she thinks loves them back. You sound like an entitled asshole and I hope your girlfriend finds out your true intentions ASAP.

4ktx · 2023-09-12T03:25:40+00:00

Yeah but she holding your ass down, even though u up 40lbs.

I think your just currently in a place you don’t want to be mentally and your comparing it you the good old days

williamskevin · 2023-09-12T02:59:20+00:00

This whole post is about your failed attempt to chase women. So you're unemployed right now. That gives you LOADS of time to improve yourself. Learn how to cook. Work out. Lose the weight. Learn a new skill. There is SOOOOO much you can do for free to improve yourself. Prioritise improving you- life will work itself out.

RiskyRewarder · 2023-09-12T15:18:13+00:00

Dude, I'm a VP at a bank and have 2 DUIs, these are all shit excuses because you are a lazy fuck

Comfortable-Echo-618 · 2023-09-13T01:12:55+00:00

This is not it G. Yes 100% get your life together but I don't know why you want out of the relationship so bad. It seems you've found a good girl who's submissive, loyal, and holding you down even though your life is absolutely shit rn. That's like the ultimate test for women and she passed. Incredibly rear, I'd hold on to her.

The red pill is not some frat boy "I'm emotionless" lifestyle it's simply seeing things for what they really are and protecting and improving yourself. Don't be a blue pill simp but still we're allowed to love or start a family if that's what you want. We're human.

What you need to do to unfuck yourself is get in shape, get a job, get yah money up (not yah funny up) and your life back on path, wake tf up and realize you have a good woman and be happy with her. Wishing you the best.

ApeMindFitness · 2023-09-12T07:16:21+00:00

Most sales jobs will still hire you despite your driving record. You’re not a slave to your girlfriend bro but yes you need to get your finances in order. Yes I know how depressing it is to lose a sales job you did well at. I know the rut when I see it. The fantasies of your old days of making stacks from walking around random neighborhoods to the rut of living at home and dating a woman you don’t even want anymore. You need to get to work. That’s the only answer. The Bible says that if you knock enough, doors will open.

Final_Blackberry_282 · 2023-09-12T14:49:42+00:00

No shit. Who would want to be you? You're a disgrace

oxycore123 · 2023-09-12T08:01:41+00:00

Bro stfu. You know exactly what you need to do. The real question is are you gonna keep complaining about it to random people on reddit, or are you gonna do something about it.

Sir_Distic · 2023-09-13T00:08:38+00:00

What can you do to get yourself out of this situation? Figure that out. Write it down if you need to.

Because tomorrow if she kicks you out you're homeless, jobless, broke and fucked.

The job market is not fucked. There are jobs out there. Warehouses don't care about a DUI 5 years ago. No they don't pay well but they pay. Do something to get back on your own feet.

I was in your shoes. Stuck with a woman I didn't like or respect with no job or options to leave. It fucked me up. But it is something I'll never do again.

So the lesson to be learned first and foremost is DON'T CHASE WOMEN. Chase success. Women will chase you.

bignowalilbigger · 2023-09-14T02:11:21+00:00

She didn't make you get off your game, gain 40lbs, and allow yourself to reach a position where you're now unemployed and draining your savings. Haven't you read The Rational Male or consumed any RP content? Women don't make a strong men do anything. They have influence, but a good, strong man always stays in control and on his purpose.

You used the comfort of an LTR to slip into being a loser. Now's she sounds like the nice, poor girl stupid enough to fall for you. This is an embarassing post with an incredible lack of self awareness. Stop blaming your girl and get your shit together.

JustAnotherQeustion · 2023-09-14T15:07:47+00:00

Go back to school man and get a useful degree. It may suck now but it will guarantee long term success. You’re only 26.

I’m no expert but where I live, Canada, there are plenty of jobs in the Trades. And the schooling is really lax, you could easily work while getting it.

Shady-DrugDealer · 2023-09-12T17:16:43+00:00

I regret reading this post because I learned nothing, I guess it's time to get the fuck out of this subreddit.

NormalAndy · 2023-09-12T12:13:13+00:00

Lets face it- you have a job. It's just a really, really shit one- bad hours, conditions, shit pay. Somethings gotta give...

Muhammadwaleed · 2023-09-13T00:40:58+00:00

I am you but never way way worse, and have seen really dark shit, can relate bro but don't be hard on yourself, take your time, don't rush! you are so young. i m 24 and 100% can relate!

I wasted 5 years in uni along with emotional and mental abuse! I used to do freelancing, got forced into doing a degree. You are young and just need perspective. So nothing is wasted. Learn from past. Don't rely on it.

kassrot · 2023-09-13T16:19:04+00:00

Go to a temp agency and get any job it doesn't matter if you're in sales. Just so you stop losing money.

Start going to the gym anyways... Get in decent shape. If your college bound go to college. Not for everyone but you could try the military. Do you 4 years have them pay for your bachelor's and travel.

Just don't leave without a plan on the civilian side.

If you want to continue doing sales go for it.

ApeMindFitness · 2023-09-12T07:14:03+00:00

You sound a lot like my best friend. Except he continued working in sales, his suspended license wasn’t an issue after a year, and his girlfriend is the one who moved in with him. He kicked her out back to her parents place 2 months ago, and he’s back to spinning plates. He decided to become gym teacher at a middle school.

Volteez · 2023-09-12T17:06:01+00:00

Sounds like a fake RINO to me

sandr0000 · 2023-09-12T18:13:07+00:00

TRP is not a lifestyle. It's a tool to use in certain situations. Chasing shiny things with empty meanings is a dead end. Pursue what's meaningful.

kramwam · 2023-09-12T20:10:36+00:00

and the job market is so fucked

Only if you don't have the desired skills. Why don't you go learn something useful instead of complaining?

Realistic-Dark-2769 · 2023-09-13T23:17:00+00:00

What's the flaw you see in her? Why don't you want to build a family with her? Is she not good looking enough, does she have a nasty past or what?

2023-09-15T03:14:38+00:00

You would be an idiot to leave this woman. Get a job then make a kid and don't look back. Get your degree.

MattyAnon · 2023-09-25T13:29:28+00:00

It started when I continued hanging with my loser friends who had no aspirations in life and got a DUI

I hope you ditched everyone who is holding you back.

But also: ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY...... you did this, not them.

Fast foreword 2 years later I’m still living with her we’re in a LTR and I don’t see a way out.

If you don't have kids together there is always a way out.

I’ve put on 40 lbs in that time, and don’t see an easy way out.

Unless you are so fat you can't fit through the door, what's stopping you?

She’s talking about starting a family and being together for the rest of our lives, meanwhile I’m looking for any excuse to leave but due to external factors haven’t been able to leave,

Again, accept some responsibility for yourself here. You are pushing responsibility onto other people, and this is fucking with your head because it disempowers you.

It's your life, you can do it, you have to do it. Don't weasel your way out of that.

I’ve been unemployed for 4 months down to 5k in savings and can’t seem to find anyone wanting to hire me because of my driving record and the job market is so fucked.

Ok, so basically you need a job. Then you can leave this girl that you don't want to be with, and get your own place again.

You've got savings, that's great. The driving record: honestly you can probably lie about this so long as it's not actually a driving job. The job market is always fucked dude.... it swings round and round, some parts of the job market are going great at the moment.

Lose the weight. It's impacting on your self esteem. Being slim will help you get a job and it'll make it easier to leave this girl. Nothing is stopping you from eating less and moving more.

If I could go back I would have left my hometown as soon as I graduated and done a 2 year associate degree in the major city and not move in with any bitches.

Dude, you're 26..... you can start over in life another ten fucking times.

Mostly just ranting here cause I know exactly what I need to do to unfuck myself.

Yep.

Get a job, look in other cities. You've got savings, you can move out there the second you land it and start your new life.

But most of all: learn to take responsibillity for yourself and look to the future rather than whining and feeling sorry for yourself.

R2viver · 2023-10-30T01:33:02+00:00

SMH. No wonder they claim the typical TRP is autistic. Actually, autistic people too have reasonable understanding.

That "plate" is a human being, who wants a traditional marriage and is caring for you. She is more successful than you.

Title	Don’t be me.
Author	BIMIMAN
Upvotes	101
Comments	102
Date	September 12, 2023 2:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/16getn5/dont_be_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/dont-be-me.1231515 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231515

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