[FR] Sushi Date

MakeTheSexyTalk · 2015-04-05T10:32:43+00:00

you can do anything you want to me

How about

I know.

Excellent FR, thanks dude.

GREF_ · 2015-04-05T06:11:38+00:00

Good write up and congrats on your success man.

One thing

Me (several hours later): Hey. I just saw this. What's up? (before TRP, if I didn't respond for more than an hour, I'd apologize for the delay)

"I just saw this" that was an apology but a soft indirect one.

projectself · 2015-04-05T04:50:44+00:00

here is one thing that this girl did, that some girls do to me, and I just don't know how to respond. I'd like TRP's opinion:

When a girl says to you "you can do anything you want to me" in bed, my gut reaction isn't to immediately let the lizard brain take over and manhandle the shit out of her, especially if she's a stranger. Hearing that or "tonight is all about you" pulls me out of the zone (and my frame) really fast, because my gut says what I was doing before she said that wasn't good. I'm already doing what I want. What the fuck?

it's the opposite of a shit test. she is not testing your masculinity, she is yielding to it and embracing it. she is completely in your frame. do not worry much about what women tell you, or at least if you do, always add the words "right now" to it. she is tingling hard.

what to do, ignore it, just go about doing what you were going to do anyway.

As for "completely let the lizard out", I would suggest a read of Daniel Rose sex god method and really think about the balance of immersion, emotion, dominance, and variety. You might get some ideas on how to achieve more enjoyable experiences. (to both)

georgespelvin1 · 2015-04-05T12:56:48+00:00

"you can do anything you want to me"

You must have REALLY enjoyed '50 Shades of Grey'.

oldredder · 2015-04-05T06:01:37+00:00

chopsticks: like pool cues this is a perfect reason to wrap your body around hers, hand over her hand, and 'show her' all the while escalating touch sexually. You'll find out real quick if she's there for a free meal or if she likes you touching her and the meal for her is just an excuse to do that.

Rougepellet · 2015-04-05T08:34:32+00:00

Was hoping to find some answers to the cell phone issue

disniggatrollin · 2015-04-05T12:30:53+00:00

I see guys here talking about ultimatums for the phone situation. My input is that ultimatums should be a last resort. Instead I'd be playful and assertive. When she takes it out put your hand over the screen and maybe twiddle your fingers randomly over it. Sometimes I'll grab it and play keep away with it for a few seconds. You'll get a feel for what you can get away with. You did the right thing by telling her though.

tangman · 2015-04-05T05:44:05+00:00

You can do anything you want with me.

I wouldnt overthink it. Just another window to escalate.

dr_warlock · 2015-04-06T00:50:42+00:00

What You Did Right

1) You assumed the sale with your opener

2) You took control of the logistics

3) She tried to pry some information out of you before the date, a situation specifically designed for that very purpose, but you didn't let her. You remained a mystery.

4) You showed zero interest in her problems, demonstrating you have better things to do.

5) Your goal was to get laid, not be her girlfriend or a shoulder to cry on. You kept all conversation to the point and nothing more.

6) You challenged her when she said she didn't know how to use chopsticks. What he really meant was, "it seems to hard, I quit." You din't let her.

7) You used the chopsticks lessons as an opportunity to escalate with intimate touch, but not excessively.

8) You guided her with patience like father would a daughter. She even looked to you for approval.

9) Like any good parent, you didn't over validate her with praise. You waited until she accomplished the task.

10) When she finally accomplished the task, you framed it as giving her permission to eat.

11) You buried that damsel-in-distress shit test in the ground.

12) When you did the bedroom tour, you destroyed her ASD by feeding her hamster with, "i don't usually do this".

-Side Note-

1) When you said , "I just got this", after not responding for awhile, it was a form of apologizing even if it has a hint of "i was busy". Let the hamster do the work and imagine what you were doing.

2)When she praised you for not caving into her shit test, you should have ignored it. No not self praise as you said.

3) When a girl is having sex with you, and she says "you can do anything you want to me", it means she wants you to escalate and me more rough. Think caveman.

Conclusion

Other than the side note, Excellent FR. Bravo

grewapair · 2015-04-05T05:58:17+00:00

Sushi dates as first dates for online dating are a ridiculous idea. It may have worked out for you here, but don't waste that much time and money on women who may only be looking for an expensive free meal.

Coffee is a better first date and meet outside. If she doesn't look like her photos, which they usually don't, don't bother going in. "Nice to meet you but I'm not interested."

LimboLoves · 2015-04-05T13:38:53+00:00

I think you did great sitting next to her. That move always makes me nervous for some reason. I'll usually wait til we get back to my apartment. I was wondering, why didn't you escalate at the end? My first thought would be to smile and say "I will" and lead her right into my room. I'm still learning it all though. I might use your strategy for first messages because it's simple and smart. Nice work mate.

insaneyoshi · 2015-04-05T20:11:12+00:00

About the phone thing, as has been said already, ultimatums should be used as a last resort.

One thing I've used tons of times with great success is: around the 2nd - 3rd time she checks it, I just say "hey can I see your phone for a sec?", when she gives it to you, just pocket it, then continue as if nothing happened. Obviously calibrate and do this if you're both having fun and the phone thing is just a mild annoyance, don't do it if the date has been shit so far.

Last week I did this very thing on a first date, and she didn't check her phone at all after that, and even apologized before pulling it out to look for a pic she wanted to show me.

alagoshendi · 2015-04-05T19:55:33+00:00

My mistake in the past has been sending long, detailed, personalized messages to women.

Duuuuuude, that was exactly me in the past as well. A few weeks ago I hopped back onto online dating stuff for the first time since swallowing the pill. My new approach, which basically mirrors yours, is so much more enjoyable, efficient, and effective. I've gotten a ton of first dates the past two weeks and parlayed each that I liked into a second date. Glad it's working for you as well.

The only difference I noticed was that you give her your number instead of requesting hers. I like getting her number and not giving her mine unless she specifically asks. Then the ball is in my court, I don't have to deal with text convos before we've even met, and I can call her instead of text to set up the date, which they've all seemed to appreciate.

Soarinc · 2015-04-06T20:30:45+00:00

"I put my arm around her shoulder as I tell her about the different fish and how the whiter they are, the more 'fishy' they might taste"

Haha, loved this part of the story but had to comment on the above fact because I too love sushi and I'm a saltwater angler (fisherman) so just wanted to share that when I read this I thought you were trolling her with that statement but now it's obvious what you meant. (i was thinking yellowtail snapper, mangrove snapper, keywest grunt, and Florida pufferfish which is the virtually non-poisonous version of its Japanese cousin the Fugu -- which I have eaten on a trip to NYC)

ECoast_Man · 2015-04-06T21:52:44+00:00

Lots of good advice here, I'll weigh in as well.

1) the phone. You handled that as well as you can on a first date. Tease playfully about it so she knows it bothers you. If things escalate into more dates and she likes you, this will be something she will either resolve because she likes you (good sign) or keep doing anyway (red flag). Don't get more intense than that.

2) I use one line when I hear 'you can do anything you want to me' on a first date. That is, '... Is that right?' With a shit eating grin. This way, you are the dominant man because 'you've seen it all'. My tip for this one a first date - increase dirty talk to see how far she goes. Then you get a good sense of how 'wild' she is.

rkg-pua · 2015-04-05T09:44:15+00:00

Sushi on the first date? Seems like a potential huge time sink.

Even though this is a good FR and it appears to have " paid off " - Id still recommend keeping the first meeting just for drinks.

Also depending on the age of the girl, I'd suggest not labelling the first meeting a "date" but a "hangout"

SkorchZang · 2015-04-05T05:04:30+00:00

Nice FR. About the last thing you discuss... That's her desperate last minute powergrab. She's letting you have the pussy, is what she's trying to frame it as. That's why if you ask me, when that happens it's prime time for responding with crude jokes, condescension, misc masculine sexiness. Think something almost demeaning, and you're in the ballpark. If you made her pause and gasp, you got it, power play neutralized.

"Aww, you're taking one for the team? Damn, and no one's keeping score. Face down, ass up pretty girl."

Your position gets stronger as her attempt to power grab backfires. The domination Drill Sergeant aspect is perfect for the whole bedroom phase, when "the masks come off".

NeoreactionSafe · 2015-04-05T15:48:28+00:00

Sushi is a very expensive date.

Given Red Pill logic we generally don't recommend doing this for a women you don't know.

It signals Beta provider status.

"Sunk Cost Fallacy" is typically where males fall after the date.

If you are making huge $$$ and eat well all the time it's okay though.

If it hurts your wallet it's a mistake. Only do it if losing $100 is no big deal.

DerMef · 2015-04-05T11:14:38+00:00

Eating sushi with chopsticks? Ouch.

doritoesNcoffee · 2015-04-05T11:39:06+00:00

if you want her to stop taking out her phone, assemble an ultimatum. What I've done a few times successfully is tell her she can check her phone once in an hour. If she does it any more she has to order and pay a shot of tequila for herself. This is a win win situation. She will get drunk or simply will stop checking her phone.

It doesn't necessarily have to be a shot of tequila, but an ultimatum must be made. Tell her you will spank her with a belt, or whatever comes in mind at the time.

Props to OP for sitting on the same side as her during the date. Remember, if there is a table between you it immediately makes it a serious meeting(think interrogation). A table between two people puts them in a formal setting. That's why psychologists never place a table in between their patients. Subconsciously if you are sitting right next to someone, people feel like they can trust you and you are on their side.

So basically things to do during the first date. Ultimatum about phone, find an excuse for her to sit next to you.

trpMilo · 2015-04-05T23:09:01+00:00

"you can do anything you want to me"

That's winning right there. Just do whatever you want to her, especially being rough with her. Almost undoubtedly she wants to feel like she's "giving" you something she wouldn't give most guys, so just go for something intense-ish you wanted to do

PandaMoneyLove · 2015-04-05T23:11:38+00:00

That's just an invitation to do more. Spank her, suck her titties, change your position. Youre fine.

flexiblehold · 2015-04-07T06:23:41+00:00

Phones, fucking phones. Man, women can be so annoying with their smartphones -- I had to fight my oneitis throbs on a recent date when this woman didn't take her phone out the whole night.

Abreseyes · 2015-04-07T12:39:26+00:00

Excellent report, couple of questions though.I've been texting similar to you, the good thing is it's come from a place of abundance/not been too invested.I have found this leads to more flaking though, but, I've found the dates have gone better.

Over texting and putting in a load of effort in only leads to the girl building up a wild picture of you, much prefer your low key approach.

The transition from restaurant to apartment, did you do anything in particular or just invite her back.Any pretence involved?

SwagYoloJesus · 2015-04-07T18:41:10+00:00

You're dropping $70s on first dates?

MattyAnon · 2015-04-05T13:51:46+00:00

phone.. I'm honestly not sure how to handle that.

"Oooo is that the new iPhone12 ZZ ping ping 57 Diamonté?"

"No, it's just a... um... I don't know really"

"Oh.... let me see"... (reach out hand slowly to take it)

Take the phone. Put it in your pocket. Tell her you're stealing it but you'll let her check it once a month. Don't give it back. Rest of the date should be you distracting her enough that she doesn't get it back at the end of the night. (Downside of this - she'll be distracted by her lack of phone but at least you'll have her undivided).

For bonus points take an old phone with you on dates and swap it out for a fun game of "catch the cellphone". Ideally over-throw it when there is a river behind her. Hand real phone back. Make sure that all indignation and anger is met with nonstop laughter. Don't throw your own phone into the river by mistake.

When a girl says to you "you can do anything you want to me" ... Hearing that or "tonight is all about you" pulls me out of the zone .... because my gut says what I was doing before she said that wasn't good.

Your gut is wrong. This is a major green light obviously. The progression to hardcore sex is not obvious to girls (no matter the context) and she's helping. I see no downsides to this.

vicious_armbar · 2015-04-06T04:17:54+00:00

Not trying to be a hater. But why take a first date off of the internet to a sushi place, and buy a $100 sushi boat?

There's a 1 in 3 percent chance that she'll be using old pictures and is a hippo IRL. At that point even when you cut your losses you've still inconvenienced yourself by driving out to the place.

Even in the best case scenario you're dropping a bunch of money for an unsure outcome. After two failed sushi dates you'll have spent enough money to have gotten a decent pro. If taking her out is your play I'd ask her to meet you after dinner at a venue somewhere near your place. At least that way you're not paying to feed her.

penguin_says_slide · 2015-04-05T14:40:55+00:00

Do you know how to make them squirt?

You could be horrible in bed, but even if you're not it's the number one way of assuring they'll keep chasing after you...aggressively ;).

There's a very good video on it, I can track it down for you.

tif2shuz · 2015-04-05T21:58:03+00:00

This is so pathetic I'm sorry. It is just all games and mind games. Grow up. It's all very immature that the only way to get a woman is to try and out smart someone and try to mind fuck them. Seriously Get a grip. A real man doesn't need to do this crap

SoldierGenerale · 2015-04-05T14:46:09+00:00

When a girl says to you "you can do anything you want to me" in bed during sex, my gut reaction isn't to immediately let the lizard brain take over and manhandle the shit out of her, especially if she's a stranger. Hearing that or "tonight is all about you" pulls me out of the zone (and my frame) really fast, because my gut says what I was doing before she said that wasn't good. I'm already doing what I want. What the fuck?

She wants you to slap/choke/spit on her. The bitch watched 50 shades of grey, atleast pull out a belt and rough her up is what she means.

Cool report, but the whole thing about teaching her how to use chop-sticks is silly. You're the guy that fucks her, not her teacher.

Just feed her and take on the role of daddy next time and you'll save yourself alot of trouble.

Title	[FR] Sushi Date
Author	FattestRabbit
Upvotes	196
Comments	82
Date	April 5, 2015 4:30 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/31hpfr/fr_sushi_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-sushi-date.31006 https://theredarchive.com/post/31006

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