Stop Jacking Off

PiperBigBell · 2023-02-18T03:37:32+00:00

I'm gonna give a high level take on this.

First, to acknowledge the post, yes, it's extremely easy to force yourself to approach by abstaining from masterbation. You go long enough without that feel good and appetite to hunt and conquer to get that meal makes things come to fruition.

But this is only a short term solution. And in a way because my ideas only really work once you experienced a true spiritual/mental breakthrough, they could still be useful at lower levels of consciousness.

That is, your fundamental attitudes about women are fucked up, and you need to internalize new ideas to make the approach easy. The problem is, you need to live some serious life and go through some major life changes and experiences to get there.

Though there are a giant laundry list of attitudes that will get you there, the most important ones are one, to genuinely love and value yourself more, and two, to deeply understand your sexual motivation.

On loving yourself more, you need to love and value yourself so much, that any thought of a woman, sex, any of it gets filtered through that lens.

On loving yourself and your life:

If I were to let her in my home would she bring peace? Does she radiate life energy? Does she respect the masculine principles on which I stand? What would I gain by having sex with her that I lack within myself? Would she contribute to my development as a man? Is she the type who would blow up my spot and cost me my job if things went left? Your life needs to be so dope that your primary concern is gate keeping access to it, which is what most high value people do.

These are just a few of the hundred questions I ask myself before I approach. Truthfully, I know upon looking whether or not it's a waste of my time. The way she smiles, walks, gazes, her hips move, how she dresses, I know how the conversation will go. I've already approached her before I've spoken to her.

I can do this because I'm grounded in my own energy, the dopeness of my own life. I've seen the type that does and doesn't work for me 1000 times before. This I believe is the height of game. There being no need to approach. Your spirit and life experience simply talk to you.

But enough on that, onto point two.

Sexual motivation.

Why do you want to have sex? I mean, why do you really want to have sex. I promise you it's not because of a biological need to procreate with high status women. Your need for sex is likely tied to a need you didn't get in your childhood.

Maybe you were a reject, and having sex would give you a sense of normalcy and acceptance. Sex would make you feel like a regular person with a regular life. Or maybe, you're wired to really want to bond with women on a deep emotional level and your need for sex is based in a need to feel like you belong to someone and feel safe with someone. This could also be tied in with a fear of loss or abandonment because women would never stick around, thus not affirming your value.

Maybe your deep seated fear of loss is exercised through wanting to control them and dominate them. All dominance and conquering comes down to wanting compliance in things you find value in. In other words, if you can dominate them, they won't want to leave and your environment feels stable.

All this to say, once you understand your sexual motivation, you can have both better sex, while also purging yourself of sexual trauma energy. Tieing that in with approaching and the fear of, your need to approach is based in ego, survival, death, procreation. And as long as your need to approach is rooted in these things, i.e. scarcity, you will always be afraid. But as you ascend spiritually these fears will lessen.

You will discover that it is ego that makes you horny. And that without that fear of loss, fear of losing contro, need to feel like a boss the ego gives you as motivation to spread your seed, that you aren't sexually horny like that.

TLDR: You can truly overcome approach anxiety by healing childhood trauma, having a dope life, and elevating spiritually.

Ok-Professional3832 · 2023-02-18T02:57:33+00:00

This approach can be broadened into quit giving in to desire and develop a more focused discipline mindset.

We all fall victim to the allure of instant gratification. We are told to spend money frivolously, eat shitty food, jerk off, etc all in an effort to enslave us in a never ending loop of desire and addiction.

Through discipline, we learn that by ignoring the easier more obtainable path, it opens us up to achieve more.

In one of my favorite examples of this is “what if…you spent $400 on Apple stock instead of purchasing the first iPod for the same amount in 2001 when it was released”

The $400 would be worth over 150k in stock value.

You have poor money management skills? Enjoy your $35 overdraft charges with your bank.

You built up credit and used it responsibly? Enjoy 0% interest for 24 mo, a $200 welcome bonus, and cash back on your purchases.

Be willing to take the harder path, it’s the foundation that leads to true happiness down the road

NittyGrittyDiscutant · 2023-02-18T10:36:06+00:00

Nicely written, however, I think you guys are overstating girls abilities to sniff out things.

acidwhale27 · 2023-02-18T05:59:41+00:00

I’ve done 8 month Nofap streaks and I’ve been also been on the porn & jerk off everyday end of the spectrum as well. Both are extremes.

Now, with a little skepticism to the thought you introduced, wouldn’t you just emit neediness if you’re sexually deprived and frustrated? Yes, you might be approaching but what vibe are you giving out?

Most girls can smell it when a guy is sexually deprived or frustrated but based on the concept of hypergamy girls don’t determine a person’s value based on how sexually deprived or hungry they are but based on how many options they have and their value. This is reflected in the behaviour.

On a mental mindset point of view - Nofap gives loads of energy which if put into a goal can help but if not then it can make you restless and pushy.

Fapping on the other hand can make you feel lethargic and unmotivated if done too much. But do it after a decent streak of not releasing and it makes you much calmer.

TLDR: Moderation is key. Both have their advantages and disadvantages.

comical-v2 · 2023-02-18T02:53:50+00:00

My main problem with NoFap is that when I’m on it I bust way too quickly. Jacking off once or twice a week alleviates that.

But yeah, once you get past the first week or two of the real bad urges, NoFap does wonders. Your drive, not just sexually, but your drive for life spikes through the fucking roof. I find that my gym sessions are better, I’m way more calm, confidence is better, the list goes on.

NoMoreMrNiceJay · 2023-02-19T00:51:56+00:00

Did no fap for a year, and honestly, it made little to no difference. Deciding to put myself out there, for my personal benefit. Approaching simply for the sake of improving my social skills, etc, made the difference.

I think No fap would only work this way for chronic masturbaters. Everything else is just placebo, but sure, whatever gets you to your goal.

DonnyBomeneddy · 2023-02-18T04:52:22+00:00

T-rex army always wins no-fap.

burnyr · 2023-02-19T20:54:27+00:00

When I don't jerk off for extended periods of time I actually do end up talking to more women, but at some point I'll eventually choke the chicken and after that I just cringe at the shit I put myself through to try and bang those low quality women and then usually ghost

Meinma46e · 2023-02-18T16:50:02+00:00

Something people don't talk about but getting sober gave me the discipline to stop masturbating.

Signal_Adeptness_724 · 2023-02-18T06:14:48+00:00

Man unless you're jacking off like four times a day, this is so overstated. I've jacked off before fucking women that night. It doesn't deplete anything, especially in your twenties and early to mid thirties. I have no idea why there is this insane obsession for no FAP here and elsewhere on this site

Percentage930 · 2023-02-18T02:22:56+00:00

I have had my successes with Nofap and my failures but what I found interesting about nofap is it gives you a life energy. And it's up to us to use this new life energy.

I also found that it takes a lot of motivation. So I have a game plan for you guys.

Go to YouTube and type in motiversity. Go to motiversitys channel and click on videos. It will show all his uploads. Go to the first video he posted. He has hundreds of videos. Watch the first one. Then from the back to front start watching his videos. I recommended you watch his videos for 30mins a day. Do this everyday until you watched all his videos.

The reason I say this is you start to develop a motivational mindset. You start to get that positive dialogue into your life and it helps motivate you even in times of pain. You might relapse but don't stop watching his videos. Keep on watching him. I relapsed maybe 3 times before I got a very good streak. When I succeeded it felt that much better. And most importantly it will help you in all areas of your life. You will then know how to truly use that new found energy efficiently.

This method is how to truly maximize the gains from nofap.

Many of you including myself failed nofap because we have a lack of motivation. We don't want it bad enough. It isn't ingrained deep into our minds the glory of success and the epitome of failure. We don't want it bad enough. When we want to succeed as bad as we want to breath then we will be successful. Nofap is hard man. It takes allot of psychological willpower and focus. You have to keep your eyes on the prize and you will get there.

You have to ask yourself why am I doing nofap? To improve my life? Well you have to improve all aspects of your life and solid powerful narrative motivation will deliver that positive dialogue straight to your brain and really allow yourself to dig deep and give you the strength to keep going.

Remember 30mins a day until you have watched all his videos. It really helped me and I found a inner power that I previously didn't know existed.

If your struggling with Nofap give it a try. You have nothing to lose.

TheExiledPrince · 2023-02-18T11:01:03+00:00

I have to disagree, when someone is in his grind phase, he doesnt have time to chase tail.

I tried not masturbating, but I only end up getting rock hard boners when Im walking past even ugly girls, and it gets embarrassing in the gym. Thats why I have to jack off to keep the horniness in check.

And lets be real folks, if you go even a moderate time without 'waxin the carrot' youll just nut in your sleep.

2023-02-18T08:28:06+00:00

I jack off once a day or once every two days. I was on a similar regiment when I went from being an unconfident virgin to someone who fucks women. Yes, porn addiction is a real problem, but if you’re not spending money on camsites or have prolonged 5 hour gooning sessions, a quick jackoff is not going to hinder your social skills. If it really did satisfy your needs, why do you still feel like shit about the fact that you don’t have a girlfriend afterwards? It’s not the fapping keeping you from your goals, it’s your being scared of something new so as a coping mechanism you jerk off because it’s the closest thing to sex you have at your disposal. But it’s not enough, it still leaves you empty and frustrated. Which is great, use that frustration to actually do the thing you’re scared of.

NoFap is not a magic pill that will suddenly make your problems disappear like you write in your post. I think this appeals to new guys on here cause all of them are looking for that “1 thing” that will magically make them confident.

But the real solution is pretty boring. If you’re anxious to talk to women, you have to throw yourself on the fire for a long period of time. Break the process down to smaller steps. If you’re very asocial your first step could be just going to a bar and getting a beer and then going home. Then the next time you make small talk with the waitress. The next time you make talk with someone else in the bar … socialisation is a skill that’s built exactly like muscle (you even get noob gains in the beginning). You just have to do it often and increase the weight slowly.

boogalooshrimp1103 · 2023-02-18T06:40:52+00:00

Wavy Matt been trying to tell yall

WillyDonDilly69 · 2023-02-18T09:48:54+00:00

Man, i would like a good relationship than just sex. I would like to have my mind clear than just go do some cringey shit and being unaware of the mistakes just because of horniness. Like, what you say there maybe will full you to go out and speak but that doesn't mean progress that means being desperate. It's better to go out and speak with random girls without seeking sex and have good conversations than be horny 24/7 and be too pushy and scaring girls away. The first one can always leads you to dates, the second one being horny 24/7 maybe would lead dating low quality women.

Nofap is just for porn addicts not for people in control that do it moderately. And when it comes to jerking off you know that for having your test levels always high you have to jerk off at least once a week. And depending on your libido maybe 2/3 times. These nofap nutjobs stop thinking about sex because there test levels go to shit because why would the body increase testosterone levels if they never release/fuck something, it's a waste of resources. Nofap is more about accepting themselves by doing something because they know they are failures and degenerates.

thexunnamable · 2023-02-18T16:42:42+00:00

It's more complicated than the black and white masturbate or don't masturbate. There are so many factors. Masturbating might be one among many instant gratification activities in which we partake. For instance, I recently decided to retain for a while at the same time that I deactivated all of my social media accounts. I'm feeling far more present. (Perhaps obviously.) I'm feeling far less insular and more outgoing. More charisma. I'm able to light up when I encounter people, rather than feeling like it will be a burden to have one or more encounters. Like really savoring that deep eye contact and naturally smiling without having to force it every time I come near a girl I want to engage with. It's like magic. Being uninhibited. Unforced. Elated to be near her.

My current endeavors lead to a lot of time spent alone with my thoughts. Having these pseudo-pornographic portals like Instagram are insidious. Every time I have a social impulse I pull it up and see ass and titties. When I go out, then, and see women I see the same because I'm sidetracked by the possibility of nutting. (Recently even I have been fucking some slut who I normally wouldn't even find attractive and she has been literally sucking me dry every time we hang out--and for nothing; I just feel tired after, and then I eventually want more. It's like she got me addicted to having her suck my dick. But I'm done with that at this point. A literal succubus.) The point being: I feel a sense of powerful agency and control when I retain and I am less desensitized to certain stimuli, and more sensitized to others. I don't need to gaze at every hot girl's body parts, hoping I could get her directly into bed, or encoding the images of her characteristics to use later to jerk off or something. I'm aware of those things, but it doesn't get me anything to put them on a pedestal. I'm more interested in having an actual encounter and I'm able to operate better along a trajectory of delayed gratification.

Now, I'm not writing this to claim the you need to stop masturbating. But I do think it's useful to switch up your behaviors. To shift your energy, which is an amalgamation of so many interior and exterior (environmental) factors. Going along with OP, I do feel less inhibited by the anticipation of sex (i.e., getting that next nut) with a girl when I'm retaining for a while. It's nice to have a clear mind (which when you're addicted to ejaculating really often you only get post-nut) on a day-to-day basis. But it's definitely important to not get carried away. If you do want to be with someone, it's important to not place too much emphasis on your retention, as if you'll no longer be the person you are if you bust a fucking nut. Lmao. It doesn't make you God. And, yes, if you retain for too long, you're probably not going to be making any moves that will lead to sex, because you'll probably forget about the incentive to actually have sex. All in all, you should think about this stuff cyclically. Go through discontinuous cycles. Don't continuously masturbate. But, if you're not having sex, I wouldn't suggest never nutting ever again, because you'll probably stop wanting to have sex. Or, again, you'll start thinking that you're so much more of a man if you don't fuck--way too dogmatic, I think. Moderation is key. Find what works for you. Can you do a week? How do you feel? Observe and see how strong the influence of sexuality is in your own body. And calibrate. Just some thoughts on the subject...

I'll say one more thing on an anecdotal level: imagine all of the men who really achieved things throughout history, whether they were deep into warring campaigns or exploring the reaches of the wilderness: do you think these men had time to pull on their fucking dicks and bust their nuts all over themselves? Mostly, I doubt it. Partly because there would be no women around until they reached a waypoint brothel or something like that; and partly because it would be fucking useless. Circling back to PMO and soft-core porn (suggestive images of women everywhere): men these days have the illusion of having women around them at all times with the internet. You sit in your comfy home, call up some images, and bust a nut so you can feel pacified. Sometimes useful. But kinda lame. Just get after it.

the_butter_lord · 2023-02-28T19:10:09+00:00

Counterpoint: being horny leads to desperation and simping.

LucidCunning · 2023-02-18T03:14:49+00:00

Not jacking off is good for more than just getting girls. As I start getting more into energy work via meditation, the electromagnetism around my hands is starting to REALLY amp up. It seems the less energy I release via masturbation (my mana), the easier is it to feel and work with this electromagnetic aura around my body. You are *amped up* so to speak.

And before anyone goes and says this is hookey-pookey, go watch a video or two on Wim Hof, the Ice Man, because I've developed my own version of his breathwork enough to objectively/empirically sense the energy around parts of my body and it is indeed VERY magnetic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cvhwquPqJ0&t=1718s&ab_channel=YesTheory

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-02-19T19:27:08+00:00

Such a dumb take. One doesn't inherently lead to the other. Food is dead and can't see the look of hunger in our eyes. Can't say the same thing with a woman. You send guys out there with the dial set to sex-driven mongoloids they'll just be turned down from being aggressive as opposed to being turned down from being shy or not even approaching due to shyness. Guys, please don't get to the point where not touching your dick was what you needed to get out there. Cause that statement as it stands...really fucking sad.

CivilianMonty · 2023-02-20T18:00:36+00:00

This is garbage and makes it obvious this sub is dead. This is terrible advice for red pill.

DearGarbanzo · 2023-02-18T14:32:03+00:00

Imagine making a religion out of not wanking. Touch grass

Amazing_Egg · 2023-02-18T14:55:04+00:00

I agree with the post, but I have one objection. Whenever I spend more than 2 days without jacking off I get so desperate that even the tiniest amount of female attention makes me literally obsess over the chick. In fact, the times when I've actually made out with some girls at parties was when I had jerked off right before going.

If I can get this desperation under control I'm sure that it'll lead to great results, but so far it's done more harm than good.

Beachbum74 · 2023-02-18T16:29:59+00:00

I thought abstaining from fapping was bad for the prostrate.

Encrypted587 · 2023-02-18T12:23:08+00:00

I personally rather jack off and get on with my day with out bothering about women

AnnoKano · 2023-02-18T12:10:18+00:00

Not sure if giving yourself blue balls is dominant or assertive

WearBhite · 2023-02-21T20:15:49+00:00

That's actually well written, holy shit.

pyth0ns · 2023-02-18T02:03:37+00:00

I jacked off to this post and splooged all over my phone case... Come fight me :)

Sad-Spring-2775 · 2023-02-18T12:44:55+00:00

Hate to ask under another post, but would anyone know why I'm not able to post? It says my post has been uploaded, but its not on the sub, only my profile.

AlphaTrumpsfapping · 2023-02-18T15:30:41+00:00

On and off nofap since 2013!

grandorder123 · 2023-02-19T05:56:06+00:00

Not relevant to post but is there somewhere like asktrp I can ask for advice?

cmHend · 2023-02-19T11:32:18+00:00

or at least stop ejaculating. Kegel up and learn how to enjoy orgasms, maintaining that raw need and hunger for girls.

RhinoSmuggler · 2023-03-03T03:39:58+00:00

Most of these questions, doubts, and 'problems' can be solved by simply not jacking off.

Ok, stop jacking off and report back on whether it solved your problems.

Impressively_Girthy · 2023-03-04T06:14:35+00:00

My opinion on this after fooling around with supplements has changed.

If you're reacting to 'not jacking off' chances are your very low T to begin with. The small spike in T you get from not-jacking off is what you feel, when you get back into low-mid range, but the real root of the problem is that you have low T. If you are 800+ T you'll be ready to cum again 15 minutes.

When you're low T your dick doesn't get is hard and you cum in 90 seconds and it doesn't feel good. This isn't because you jack off all the time, though it's because your T is low. You can get a little boost so it feels better if you put it off a day and will cum more.

danielnogo · 2023-03-12T17:34:53+00:00

I honestly don't get the hard on(pun intended) so many guys in TRP have for jerking off. It's literally harmless, I can see maybe if you're jerking off and looking at porn excessively, but once a day for like 10 or 15 minutes? Why would you keep yourself pent up like that? To me, the clarity that jerking off provides is going to allow you to approach and make decisions in a much more level headed way. Do you really want to be making decisions and approaching women when you are essentially desperate to bust a nut? You want to approach with as little desperation as you possibly can, you want to get to a place where you don't NEED women at all, because neediness dries up vagina faster than scooting on the Sahara. Just jerk off once a day, don't believe all the grifters that tell you it's sucking your life force and vitality or is gay or whatever the fuck they're using to try and sell you shit by making you feel guilty for one of the most natural things you can possibly do. Your body will always replace the sperm you lose, it's not some wellspring of vitality that goes away if you bust a nut. Do you think fucking is gonna make you less potent as a man? Because fucking and jerking off are virtually identical from a biological standpoint.

Time for the community to get over this silly vendetta against jerking off, it doesn't hurt anyone, you just have leftover guilt and shame from your religious upbringing, getting over that will give you a way bigger boost in life than cutting out jerking off.

Sloppy-stick23 · 2023-03-20T08:04:45+00:00

Personally, I'm a retarded anxious mess talking to most women when I've constantly been beating off. When I abstain, I'm far more relaxed, but also lustful in a non-creepy way. Eye contact is very strong, I don't think at all about what I'm going to say next yet the conversations flow perfectly, I'm more comfortable making innuendos and escalating beyond the platonic sense. It works really well for me as I've always been hesitant to escalate due to some bad experiences in the past (rape accusations and such), being very horny helps me overcome my fear of being sexual and possibly being rejected.

Title	Stop Jacking Off
Author	Khavoqi
Upvotes	456
Comments	81
Date	February 18, 2023 1:44 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1153q9d/stop_jacking_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/stop-jacking-off.1176650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1176650

Comments