Trying to be Setup with Single Mom ✋🏽🛑

Ftpiercecracker1 · 2022-08-25T14:43:30+00:00

You wouldnt believe how many times family has tried to set me up with fat chick's. Bbbbut she has a great personality?!

I can't even imagine someone trying to set me up with a single mom.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Absolutely infuriating.

DatBoiETC · 2022-08-25T13:13:44+00:00

Don’t burn bridges with your friends over it. Politely decline and say you’re not looking to be a dad at this stage in your life. Sounds like she most likely asked your friends to set you guys up. Women do these things. Don’t take it personally

These-arent-my-pants · 2022-08-25T14:55:44+00:00

Woman have a hive mind mentality. They overlook her red flags and feel she needs a good man in her life for her and her kids. They feel it’s ok to saddle a guy with a train wreck of a woman.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-08-25T13:39:42+00:00

Don’t say that you don’t want to be a dad unless you absolutely have to, just keep telling them you’re dating this girl and you’re not that kind of guy

-Billy-Bitch-Tits- · 2022-08-25T15:27:00+00:00

Single moms are single for a reason, brother.

qunamax · 2022-08-25T14:05:11+00:00

Not even for a million dollars.

YesIveReadTheSideBar · 2022-08-25T14:30:55+00:00

My advice, you already said no so stick with that. If your friends bring it up again say something to remind them you already said no. “I’m still not interested in her” is a simple put way of declining. After having to remind them I would next ignore them. Props to you for sticking to your guns on this one. Single moms are never worth it imo.

Seneca_13 · 2022-08-25T15:12:33+00:00

I had this happen to me on numerous occasions, once a family member tried to set me up with a single mother who had mantal issues. Their logic was that a strong and stable guy like me could stabilize the lives of both her and her kids. I took this as an insult, how dare they try to even entertain that notion, never in a million years!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just politely declined and told them I'm seeing someone and I'm bad with kids, which they knew was bullshit since kids love me.

Do not entertain this shit, they see you and all your potential and they can't fathom why some woman doesn't have control of it.

sicrm · 2022-08-25T13:22:02+00:00

how good have these friends been to you?

I wouldn’t try to set up a friend of mine with her at all, let alone be persistent about it.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-08-25T15:10:05+00:00

Your buddy probably knows this, but he has to live with his wife. Just tell him flat out: no fatties, no single moms, period.

Yff7yy · 2022-08-25T16:34:42+00:00

Women have a sisterhood first mentality. The people recommending you to date this girl are trying to leverage your success into upgrading her lifestyle, undeservedly.

Millhousegoku777 · 2022-08-25T17:10:43+00:00

Terrible friends. Their blue pill cucks. Single moms are like a cheeseburger at McDonald’s. Easy and greasy. Get rid of her unless you want a quick bang

420FADIMUH · 2022-08-25T17:21:16+00:00

Just tell your friends it won't work because you don't want to raise someone elses kids. If they think you're a dick for not being a cuck then who gives a fuck.

filli1aj · 2022-08-25T21:22:34+00:00

The real lesson in this story is not the obvious one.

OP has made a post about not wanting to be set up with a biggun. Totally understandable. But how did this come about in the first place? OP's friend. Down in the comments OP states that he has known the guy since childhood. A child hood friend should understand his dating preferences, and know that offering up a biggun is giving him a raw deal. So why then, would he be so persistent about it? The wife. If he doesn't go along with it he's gonna get in twouble.

As a man going into your 30's, many of you will start to experience long term male friendships going off to the wood shed. Your friend is for better or worse, dead after the wedding. In a strange way a wedding is funeral, a natural conclusion to a friendship. Rarely will you see this friend again, and if you do, he will be a shell of his former self. This will not always be the case, but as many men go into marriage with their blinders on, they will no doubt abandon their frame to step into hers. OP's friend is now an extension of wife.

The real lesson of this story isn't to avoid getting set up with bigguns, or that you will lose your guy friends once they get married. The real lesson is not to become OP's friend. Do not become a door mat for a modern woman to step on, making you do things you don't want to do, like give your childhood buddy a raw deal. If you want to get married, she has to enter your frame. You can never enter hers.

Darth_Pete · 2022-08-25T15:34:07+00:00

I bet she turns down guys who are not 6ft, fit and making 6 figures

Icecoldruski · 2022-08-25T15:51:32+00:00

Don’t take it personally. It’s not that your value “was so low they tried to set you up with someone bad like you.” It’s just that women don’t realize how far their stock drops when they have a kid. It’s AWALT, they deserve the world.

You don’t owe anyone a relationship and you certainly don’t owe anyone a father-figure. Don’t even feel guilty, just smile and say you want a girl that fits where you are in life better. You literally owe this single mom nothing, you don’t even need to justify or defend yourself.

pehsxten · 2022-08-26T00:48:48+00:00

I stopped reading at overweight

dicers · 2022-08-25T18:21:22+00:00

A single mom is single for a reason.

I for one do not hang out long enough to find out why, or even date one. Raising somebody's kid is also a hard no for me.

There are a million other fish in the pond that don't need fathering. Stick with girls that can stand on their own two feet. Those will enrich your life, not hold you back.

Thinkingard · 2022-08-25T14:14:43+00:00

I would reevaluate these "friends" ruthlessly. What if they influenced you enough that you took the plunge and it destroyed your life? It's a huge deal, no different than if your friends wanted you to try some crack because they think it'd improve your life. These friends think so little of you they would have you date someone completely beneath you, I don't think friends would do that.

perceptionsmk · 2022-08-25T15:31:33+00:00

Your married friends are not friends.

kaizenkin · 2022-08-25T13:12:07+00:00

There are also advantages to dating single mothers, if you have a vasectomy and are the type of guy who prefers to date multiple women at the same time.

The fact they have less time to date is one of them. They often behave better because they don't want to spoil the limited time they have with you. And they don't expect you to be with them when you are with other women.

I expect all women to split the cost of dates, so that is not an issue for me.

It all depends on what kind of relationships you are looking to form.

But this particular woman: " -Is Overweight. -Goes to school, and isn't working. -Uses an Alias so one of the Baby Daddy's can't find her." I agree, what were your friends thinking!?

PirateDocBrown · 2022-08-25T13:40:13+00:00

If she's not looking to have fun, I have no use for her.

5_7pickup · 2022-08-26T00:06:32+00:00

Hahaha this reminds me of what propelled me into cold approach. My friend set me up with this girl and she was NOT attractive at all. I was like what the fuck. Pissed me off. I was legit offended.

BluBlac59 · 2022-08-26T02:06:21+00:00

I could write for the rest of the night about single mothers. It seems to me that they all tell the same story. It started out great.. Then an accidental pregnancy . He refused to grow up and take responsibility. Then he became toxic. Sound familiar? You better run.

pieredforlife · 2022-08-26T04:18:04+00:00

Stopped reading at “ is over weight “

Cazarosta · 2022-08-25T13:20:43+00:00

Tell them that it's ridiculous from a biological point of view to expect a man to take care of another man's children.

hotboyadam · 2022-08-25T19:37:10+00:00

Imagine playing someone else’s saved game. If the original user didn’t finish the game, how can you pop up in the middle of the game expecting to know how to play much less to beat the game? Also imagine all of the missions it took to get there. Generally single mothers are more likely to be used for sex only but it seems that this woman isn’t even attractive to begin with so its a lose lose. With yours friends I would like to think they have good intentions because unless they are women there is no reason for a man to refer his friend to this type of woman. Then again they are married so they have compromised their lives to an extent, so they might not know better.

HotCheetos_4lyfe · 2022-08-25T21:26:04+00:00

You need to stop sugar coating it if they bring it up again. Just tell them straight up you aren’t attracted and there’s no chance in hell.

Just call it out already, man.

IntelligenceLtd · 2022-08-25T22:39:33+00:00

I get it bro but lying to them is beta as fuck just say you aint into her and let that be the end of it

Redditgoodaccount · 2022-08-25T13:35:06+00:00

I would play cool, bang her so hard that your friends can hear it too and then just dump her fat ass so to be a lesson for her and your friends. Nah j/k ….

NobodyP1 · 2022-08-25T14:59:18+00:00

I love pissing people off and being blunt pretty much saying exactly what you posed here why would I want a mess when you can have someone who has their life together.

pappo4ever · 2022-08-25T16:14:54+00:00

They think I'm a great catch.

No shit Sherlock. Charles Manson would be a great catch too.

BlackendLight · 2022-08-25T16:19:45+00:00

Say you're not interested. This situation might show you how good of a friend they are.

GentleShmebulock · 2022-08-25T18:20:22+00:00

Damn your friends suck. Get some new ones

MrAnderzon · 2022-08-25T22:18:07+00:00

Single mom, married, they’re all the same

Listen to their actions not their words

kaizenkin · 2022-08-26T10:45:57+00:00

Fuck no. Put your foot down and remind your friends to stop trying to pawn off damaged goods onto you.

PS2Errol · 2022-08-29T09:36:56+00:00

Tell them to go away. Say that you don't date single mothers or fat people.

throwitdownman · 2022-08-25T17:09:06+00:00

I use dating apps and I sometimes set my age parameters to older women including moms. If you ever want to be shot down, just say ‘I don’t want to be a father’. Legitimately had complete 180 from chicks once I said that. Even been blocked like on the spot after. ‘Okay, I don’t need to pretend to be someone I’m not, onto the next man’ attitude. It’s an instant disqualifier and post-wall women know they don’t have time to waste.

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str4ngerD4ngerz · 2022-08-25T19:21:23+00:00

Just say shes not your type

_4ce · 2022-08-25T20:39:16+00:00

Kevin Samuels has entered the chat

dirkdisco · 2022-08-25T20:40:56+00:00

Single mothers are great for one night stands but anymore that that is a hard no. Stay frosty gentlemen.

silverpilled · 2022-08-25T23:27:15+00:00

The sisterhood will always try to save itself no matter of the cost to men. I'm sure it's a good gesture for her friend but definitely doesn't consider your value beyond "good guy" stamp of approval.

They will lift the failures of the group up in any way as long as it doesn't pull the other down. No risk for your friends especially if they been trying to help the single mom and finally tired of it.

Bobthefighter · 2022-08-26T01:04:28+00:00

Raising somebody's kid is also a hard no for me. There are MANY more suitable women out there. That is a huge red flag, but the rest of that list, HELL NO.

I would just say no thank you I am not interested and leave it at that.

CALAMITYFOX · 2022-08-26T02:36:24+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRsmpQRbeuM

saytan666 · 2022-08-26T05:29:40+00:00

If you want to know what your friends really think of you, ask them to set you up on a blind date.

Red-Lantern · 2022-08-26T08:15:31+00:00

They wish to reallocate your resources to a "more deserving" cause. Reevaluate your friendships because they take you for a sucker. If you can't be straight up with your friends then they're acquaintances at best.

yourboobsarecute · 2022-08-26T08:50:33+00:00

why do you even have friends like that?

nantucketghost · 2022-08-26T12:41:37+00:00

I don't think it is because they believe she is a catch. They know she is a hot mess and the only way to rescue her is to set her up with a good catch (yes you) because obviously she can't find a good man otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. They are not doing what's best for you, but what is best for her. But you're not captain save-a-hoe, she had her chance already but chose poorly.

2022-08-26T13:11:17+00:00

Why don’t you tell them something like « I don’t feel like I want to fish a whale today, thank you? ».

Andgelyo · 2022-08-27T13:23:45+00:00

“What makes you think I want to be with a single mom? I’m dating a girl who’s younger, prettier, in shape, and has her own place”

Dead these fools, OP. If any of my “friends” disrespected me like this I would slap them.

skyrunner22 · 2022-08-31T04:11:45+00:00

Only skimmed the responses and didnt really see any that answered why they tryna set you up with that mess...

Its because many have been programmed to look at men like as utilities and only of service for whatever others want.. So they see you being a free man and they say hey why not use all those good traits to be a lap dog for sally (in other words).

You were supposed to be raised waiting to be of service to women like this, supposed to be happy to be a crash dummy waiting on sideline for even the opportunity to be a cleanup man. Why arent you excited to be with her?! Your simp chip must be malfunctioning. They repeat it to you hoping it kicks in, LMAOO..

The illusion of blue pill makes people think this is a GREAT deal. Its hard to understand to them because that illusion is supposed to make it seem like a great deal to you, that you been waiting all your life to raise another mans seed, that your wants and needs dont matter, you are here to be of service and crash out your life for whatever use they want.

Its a great feeling when you can light a cigar, pour a drink, nod, say wow that sounds great but no thanks, turn and do whatever the fuck you want. You can see the code in matrix and laugh. Its beautiful really.

omnivorousboot · 2022-08-31T19:35:23+00:00

Just say "Not Interested" and move on. If I were you though, I would hit the gym a little harder, get your money up. Maybe even hire a stylist or something because whatever you're doing on your own isn't working. If these are the types of women they are trying to set you up with then you're giving off vibes that's what your worth is. Up your worth.

badgermonkeyIII · 2022-09-05T09:26:22+00:00

The whe thing is a shit-test. Your friends are shit-testing you to see if you hold your frame or succumb to peer pressure. The female friends are testing if you are beta or alpha. Resist and you'll find they all want you 😉

8trius · 2023-01-27T16:47:43+00:00

"Great, I've got just the guy for her. He's a homeless guy named Rodney."

Obvious-Rise9199 · 2022-08-25T14:00:10+00:00

The title is decieving. The woman you are talking about sounds negative value even if she did not have a kid.

My girl is a single mom who is sexy, appreciative, gives me space the kids are around at the other side of the house and minimal drama. If the understanding is there, the kids can keep her busy while I play Xbox, my hobbies or do around the house shit that needs to get done.

El_Barbosa · 2022-08-26T11:26:43+00:00

The average American man is fat and poor. Sounds like you are above average

ucfgavin · 2022-08-25T17:24:32+00:00

I wouldn't even say the issue is that she's a single mom...I would say that the issue is that she absolutely does not have her shit together.

_do_not_read_this_ · 2022-08-25T19:57:51+00:00

You can just smile and say "no thank you" and move on with your life.

People are trying to be nice to you, appreciate it.

red__Man · 2022-09-01T23:00:17+00:00

if people think you are a good match to an overweight single mum, then it's time to work on yourself bro.

usernamesarestupid77 · 2022-08-25T15:56:46+00:00

Yeah I totally understand your POV and how the red pill and men in general too views single moms. Personally I think if she was hot and in good shape and didn’t have such a terrible relationship with the baby daddy it might be less odd. But if you have no kids of your own you prob aren’t interested in stepping up unless it makes sense

Also the cost of living goes up for ppl with children and if she’s in school she might be trying to further her status economically and is saving money by living with parents so that’s not necessarily a bad thing keep in mind

in all fairness I get a little disappointed in the red pill community for vilifying single moms. I understand the lack of appeal because even though I don’t have kids I’m a female and would never want a guy with kids either and all his baby mama drama so I’m not sure why it’s okay for guys to have kids but not women. Ppl with baby mama or baby dada issues should be together. Unless they can make it work with no issues.

In any case, if you’re not interested just say you aren’t. I’m very skeptical that they keep pushing it though when you declined. It’s like they almost are rooting for her against you. Are these your real friends ??? No offense

2022-08-26T07:40:57+00:00

It’s good to have standards but don’t put that other girl on a pedestal tho.

Sir_Distic · 2022-08-25T22:40:30+00:00

Redpill is such a joke now.

monkey36937 · 2022-08-25T13:38:12+00:00

What do you have you have listed all girls have but not what you offer? Sounds like your friends view like a loser and a setting you up with a loser. So it's fair.

T1379 · 2022-08-26T06:21:02+00:00

Be nice, but be firm, tell your friends and her, you’re not interested, and am currently in a relationship

Don’t know how much clearer you can get, if the doesn’t work, blow them all of for a week or two, maybe they will get the message and chill out then

DanielFromCucked · 2022-08-26T22:01:51+00:00

You should get better friends. Ones that are single and not retarded

warm20 · 2022-08-30T08:09:03+00:00

let me guess a women is trying to get you to date, jeez they are batshit crazy to not even be able to have general common sense on something as simple as that

on the other hand , will just drop this here :

Just got some advice from an 82 year old man

He told me I can't remember his exact words but i'll try to praphrase "Women are crazy unstable because of the cycles that go through in their bodies, it makes them unstable and probably their brain starts to swell making it hard for them to rationally think" "next time a women throws a tantrum on you, don't take her seriously, just let it go through the left ear and out the other and talk to her once she's calm after she lets her emotions run out" he's been married for over 52 years since 30 so hey that's something i thought i'd share

(i don't think he's scientifically accurate on the swelling part but he does get it right as i reflect with how women are just messed up biologically in general, makes me feel like i want to treat them like children instead of adults since they just can't seem to comprehend basics that we men can see in rationality, they really do struggle with being rational it's somewhat sad)

What gets me is how come they can have proper behavior in a job for so long but fail at behaving in a relationship, it's quite confusing how they can switch and on and off switch on being professional but be childish in a relationship?

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PepinoSF · 2022-09-18T22:43:58+00:00

Unless she is a widow, dont go this way. bang her, dont marry her

Golgoleth88 · 2022-09-27T20:01:18+00:00

Had a "mate" try to set me up with a less than attractive young lady... and now I know I'm no catch (been consistently rated a 6-7 my whole life) , but my missus of 14 years is hot as fuck (if a little crazy) but this "mate" thought I'd trade my missus (an 8 at the least an a 10 at the most 😆) for a girl who (if I'm being polite) would be a 5 maybe. And to top it off I think she was in the special class in high school 🤔. Can only imagine what my "mate" was thinking, as me and her had also been a thing for a second in high school. Honestly the whole thing kinda hurt my ego.

Also she has kids, as in more than one. I already have one 14yr old kid, more than enough for me right now.

Title	Trying to be Setup with Single Mom ✋🏽🛑
Author	kaizenkin
Upvotes	359
Comments	167
Date	August 25, 2022 1:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/wxds7g/trying_to_be_setup_with_single_mom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/trying-to-be-setup-with-single-mom.1129397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1129397

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