Your emotional experiences with her don't mean shit.

InvisibleCarThief · 2019-09-06T18:21:42+00:00

Your emotional experiences with her are the only thing that matters. That’s why she can’t remember WHAT you talked about, but how she FELT while you were talking about it.

A hard pill that everyone studying this area to improve their lives needs to swallow: People only like you for how you make them feel.

Emotions are contagious, and the most powerful motivator. They become a drug. And her? She doesn’t like you for who you are, she likes you for how you ACT.

AriaRz22 · 2019-09-06T17:25:07+00:00

Im a bit new to trp and ive just realised that they can go in any second and leave you. This has made me get uninterested in every woman and i think its not worth the try and some better guy or anything makes her change her mind and she wont feel any attraction.

With improving yourself, taking care of body mindset etc and be masculine all the time, like showing no insecurity, will she still leave?

I mean like if shes gonna leave at any moment for no reason and it isnt my fault then whats the point of dating them? Just getting laid? I dont wanna be black pill but this has hit me very hard and ive lost all of my interest towards women. Like in groups i treat them just like some guy i know and im not interested. Some show attraction, some dont. But the thing that keeps bugging me is how is any woman going to stay with me long term?

CainPrice · 2019-09-06T17:16:01+00:00

Think of your sex life as a business. You want more clients not deeper relationships with the clients you have.

If you have one client, and only one client, and that client is 100% of your accounts, you are forever one phone call or e-mail away from closing your doors, firing everybody, and not paying rent next month. And your history of good service won't matter the second somebody else offers something comparable or better at a cheaper price. Plus, every time this client wants anything, you will leap into action to keep the client happy. But the whole time you're doing this, that client is laughing at you behind closed doors while constantly looking for better offers and courting other companies.

If you have a dozen clients, losing one can be a hassle but won't break things or significantly affect the bottom line. You do whatever work is most pressing or most important to you this month. And when a client calls with an annoying need or demand, you're often too busy to respond. But since business is good and you have a dozen clients, you can also offer quality work at a competitive price, which is all that your clients actually want anyway.

InsidiousCurve · 2019-09-06T18:17:56+00:00

Been thinking about this and how fucked everything is. To have a chick be all over you one day, and then ghost you out of nowhere a week later. A guy would be perceived as a psychopath in psychological terms, but for a women, it's normal.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-09-06T19:22:31+00:00

Been in the game for a while, read this and internalize it well. Want to LTR someone? Go ahead, just know the risks and your disposability.

That girl you have a crush on, who you make small talk with every other day. Who you have a ton in common with and made your year when she said “yes” to you asking her on a date? That connection you have?

It means shit all the second a different guy who catches her eye walks up to her with confidence, in fact they’ll be fucking that night if he wants.

That girl you’ve been dating a few months? Shared “special moments”. The one that makes you think is a unicorn who you always love being around? The minute you open up to her or start getting too needy she is thinking of divesting in you and finding another dick

This game is not for idealists and romantics. Only for men who can fake it when needed.

As a man you were born disposable. Never forget that. But as a man you were born with the ability to dispose others as well. Don’t forget that either.

six-acorn · 2019-09-06T18:43:48+00:00

To be honest I dont even want to play the game anymore.

redalterego · 2019-09-06T16:45:44+00:00

I disagree on one point, and that is that the sexual marketplace is fucked. It definitely isn’t, and it’s easier than ever for top 20% men to get laid, thanks to dating apps and the sheer amount of incels. If you’re not getting laid, that’s on you. Men need to be adaptable and those who don’t adapt will simply be left behind. I like the post overall, it’s a good refresher.

huggyblossom · 2019-09-06T19:51:46+00:00

Do not forget that many women are also weak, scared of change and will stay with you with higher chance when you have high SMV, self-worth and generally have your shit together. Your mistakes are excused easy when you are high worth and she knows you will catch other bunny without any problem.

When you have good physique, good income and your place and car what can she give you more then pleasure. The moment her value decreases you get rid of her. This story changes if you have kids, but that is the last concern you will have with kids. Since what can you loose from dumping a shitty girl then sex and sex has lost it's value dramatically past 10-15 years and the access to pussy as a higher value male is easy.

RandomJin · 2019-09-06T20:56:46+00:00

Here's what gets me confused about this topic though: if the emotional experiences don't mean shit to her, why do women often go back to their exes and dump the new guy(s)?

If you've been dating her for two years, you've build a bond with her and vice versa, she is more invested than in the new guy from her social circle (or wherever). I see this all the time: girls dumping new guys to be with their ex again. What's the deal with that?

MentORPHEUS · 2019-09-06T19:54:37+00:00

this post comes from a place from anger

By halfway through I found myself reading it in Oscar the Grouch's voice.

six-acorn · 2019-09-06T20:08:47+00:00

Lot to unpack here. There's still a bit of bitterness here, which is fine. But you can't blame a dog for being a dog.

You think because you've been dating her 10 weeks you mean anything?

No, of course not. Nor should she think the same. Of course either of you can leave. Not everyone's a rude heartless prick while they do it, but it's possible.

The question you should be asking --- why do you CARE so much/ invested so much after 10 weeks? Is it because you're desperate for a relationship? Get One-itis quickly? Rhetorical question. The answer is YES.

because you've been talking to her for a few months

You don't have any relationship until you've FUCKED. Ideally you should fuck in 1-5 dates/ meets. Yes I've done it in 1 countless times, but I don't have a 3 date rule. You get 5 because I fuck more bitches that way. Keep the dates ultra cheap.

telling her your problems and look to her for comfort in your life

This means you lack close friendships. Yeah fucking someone is intimidate, but still. "Dumping" your problems on someone is in some ways selfish because it kills the mood. Your close friends are there for you, but in a relationship, especially the honeymoon phase (first 3 months) -- it should all be positive emotions. Because that's the entire point of a relationship -- good emotions! Not hearing depressing shit about your dead dog. You might just be a negative, mopey, complainy person in general. Odd, because presumably, you are pounding fresh vag! Much of being an alpha male is solitary in your deepest thoughts. You'll learn that when you're older. It's good to share them with people but no one will ever 100% know you - that's life; that's reality. Don't be needy with that shit.

Be dominant, stoic, and like you have no problems

Meh. If you "try" to do any of these, you will seem like an inauthentic basket case. Of course you should "keep things light" specially in the first 3 months. Everyone has problems it's how you handle them. Get this if you're a REAL FUCKING MAN -- you believe that in your heart -- you won't ever have to "guess" how to act. It's difficult how to get there --- it comes down to not being needy, for starters. Because actually, if you try too hard to be some caricature "meat-head" who feels no emotions --- you will grow boring to her. Girls love feeling emotional highs and lows. You will not necessarily get her addicted with the "stoic" routine.

You show deeper of affection (getting gifts)

When the alpha beast gets her a $5 stuffed rabbit, it will make her pussy melt and she'll give you anal. For $5. It's all about context dude. If you do it from a place of neediness/ nice guy-itude, it'll show.

fucking before it's your time

What? You should ALWAYS fuck as soon as possible. Because there's a limited window to fuck before she loses interest/ finds another guy. Fuck her twice, and you're pretty much "locked in" until she grows bored of you.

For every 3 texts send 2.

Dude do you have any idea how needy, nerdy, and deranged it is to be counting texts? General Rule: Don't text ANYONE all that fucking much, it's annoying to anyone, because usually, you expect a response. This may be a good "training" wheel because needy, moron guys think More Texts > More Sales Text > More persuasion. But in general, if you are NOT NEEDY, your texting doesn't matter.

Oh she just texted you, and you're watching PornHub, so you saw it instantly, and respond back 30 seconds later? What will she think if you didn't wait 30 minutes to seem cool? WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT SHE THINKS. Is the answer to that question. Oh no you sent 3 texts in a row? Look if you're not needy, it doesn't matter. There's a big difference between a guy who doesn't give a shit (truly, in reality) and a guy who is trying to seem cool, counting texts, counting minutes, etc.

The sexual marketplace is fucked

No, reality is reality. I'm sure a fat chick would say the same thing. But is it really "fucked" that most men don't want to fuck a 300 pound woman? Reality can be frustrating. But pretty much any dude can fuck models with enough effort (some have more advantages, yes). You need hustle, not complaining about reality. Yes, rejection can take its toll, and I've been there. Don't take it personally. If you were beamed into a random male human anywhere in the world, and tried fucking women, would you take the rejection hard being rejected as Tom Smith, the Accountant? Or Patel Amit from Bangladesh? No. You'd realize -- hmm I can work on being more fuckable, and then go and do exactly that. Nothing personal.

ikarianarsi · 2019-09-06T19:27:57+00:00

what are "emotional experiences?"

does not compute

Ivabighairy1 · 2019-09-06T19:27:32+00:00

Yep. No matter how perfect you think the date is, POOF! She's gone. I've had a handful of "perfect dates". The difference is TRP. Before TRP i'd see a future and think "This is the one" and within weeks it all came crashing down and the hurt ... most of us know that hurt. After TRP I still have "perfect dates" but the attitude is now this is as good as it's going to get with her. If it ends in days, weeks, or months, I'll have the memory of a great date, not of getting my heart ripped out. Much more ... I don't know ... tempered in my attitudes and responses.

I remember hearing the story of how the rock band The Police broke up. They were touring stadiums all over the world on the "Synchronicity" Tour. At one point, I heard that it was in the dressing room at the Hollywood Park Concert, They decided to break up the band after the tour because they knew it would never get any better than it was right then. That's how I see women now. A profound change. Instead of going all in, it's "this is as good as it will ever get with her".

SaberSpyder · 2019-09-06T16:56:36+00:00

The sheer amount of people getting motivated from this is just a sign that 99% of people here aren't red pilled, while good posts of people succeeding are getting hate the machismo posts like this are getting up voted.

poet_and · 2019-09-06T19:11:42+00:00

Lol your anger phase is out of control and you're telling me you swallowed the pill? Please

andreas-mgtow · 2019-09-07T01:08:46+00:00

If you aren't able to lead in a relationship and guide your movements and your actions then you aren't going to succeed in a relationship.

And there's the purple pill rearing its ugly head. "lEaD, fInD zE rIghT oNe, sTOIc". GTFOH!

StraightShooter2019 · 2019-09-07T04:10:58+00:00

Yup. It's all true.

If I could pin-point the reason why my long-term girlfriend dumped me a fee years ago, it would be because I was a whiny little bitch who kept complaining and expressing his feelings.

Women hate that shit. As in hate it. Despise would be a more fitting term. They might say that they want it and they ming even think that they want it, but they don't.

sneaky-rabbit · 2019-09-07T04:53:38+00:00

The same applies to you. For it to work, both need to be seducing ad infinitum. Its a fun game to play when the girl is worth it. If she just leaves you, she had a reason to. Let her live her life, follow her path. Keep following yours, you’ll stumble into new girls. The only certain things in life are uncertainty, and that we are all going to die. Everything passes. Be grateful for the good moments you are able to experience. Learn and grow with/from them. Flow through life.

darksidessj25 · 2019-09-07T16:27:29+00:00

PresI learned charisma and how to be expressive. I am one cocky fucker. I can literally shut off my logical mind and get into my emotional one at will now. I had 3 girls say I was cocky and they fucking loved it. Approached a girl in line at Starbucks the other day right upon eye contact and didn't even hesitate. Fuck bitches learn how to control your emotions and become a master. Once you do understand that everyone operates from emotions go out and conquer the fucking world! The list below is what I do. I hope this helps

Be at the cause rather than the effect.
Make yourself happy, you don't need her.
Be expressive as fuck and exciting to be around. Be unpredictable like Jordan Belfort. I can talk like him now when I speak to a girl. It just takes fucking time. You will understand soon that when you shut off your thinking mind you can pretty much say anything to a girl. As long as you don't say it like a robot.
Be present, don't think about the past or the future. Fuck all that.
Give good eye contact while listening. It's hard to be expressive and give eye contact at the same time.
Practice, practice, practice.
Be grounded as fuck! Presence will ground you. The more grounded you become the more likely you can get into flow state.
Make them bitches giggle and laugh! This is them getting turned on. If they start touching their face around you, you got em.

vandaalen · 2019-09-06T21:56:26+00:00

I will just comment with this quote I overheard. It's from a 28 year old woman who just ended a five month relationship:

"Everything was perfect. I just didn't feel like it was that one big love."

Nincompostor · 2019-09-06T19:30:26+00:00

You sound like such a whiny bitch.

Balea2019 · 2019-09-06T17:49:54+00:00

I agree with everything you said, excrpt screen for months. Like Dr Shawn T Smith said screen for years. We are not in a rush.

dansnapsit · 2019-09-06T19:49:54+00:00

So I’ve only been on my Red Pill journey for about 6-7 months now. But it was brought on by the slow failing of a relationship.

Last year from November to December my girlfriend, of over a year, was constantly upset with me about something. Always disappointed, always resentful and always a complete jerk. I’m the type of person to keep my feelings to myself, but she was crying at me one night saying, “just open up and tell me how you feel!” At that time, I thought it would heal the relationship. I opened up and told her how I was feeling about her and the relationship and it was precisely at that moment that I saw it take a nosedive. She got 100x worse.

So much worse that when I told her I had plans for Christmas with my family, she got so pissed off that I wasn’t spending it with her family, she ghosted me for a whole week. I was devastated and hurting so bad because I was having a hard time accepting how the LOVE OF MY LIFE could be so cruel. Well, it lead me to TRP and RPC. It was at that time that I focused on my mission, started working out and just stopped caring about her trying to manipulate me. That week was the nicest time of my life, because she wasn’t in it.

Long story short, I broke up with her because I had ruined that relationship. I was so beta and submissive for a whole year that she had no respect for me. But I am so thankful to not be under the thumb of spoiled brat anymore.

Domebeers · 2019-09-06T17:36:24+00:00

It's 1 for 3 ratio my man come on read Heartiste's poon rules

Srg_001 · 2019-09-06T18:01:13+00:00

Always good to keep it real brotha! Good post

idontevenlift37 · 2019-09-07T00:09:58+00:00

There decisions are based entirely on emotions, and emotions change drastically. No matter how good you play your cards, her feelings will change.

[deleted] · 2019-09-07T05:45:25+00:00

You have to be dominate, stoic, and you have to seem like you have no problems, because you can't complain.

I don't necessarily agree; I'd say you should have confidence, but it is unreal to be a superman. Sometimes she needs to see you weak just to feel a little better about her own weakness, too.

Sometimes women are drawn to the "flawed" man, there's an element of challenge that she might get to fix you. Of course she'll get bored once you're fixed.

mrlympia · 2019-09-07T08:21:03+00:00

Sounds like your a hurt incel complaining ? Like go live your life stop complaining on reddit wtf

Fm661 · 2019-09-07T08:51:11+00:00

I’m not sure the point of this post, are you just angry and ranting or offering some form of advise?

Your post comes across as you’re angry about something that is just factual.

cyberkrist · 2019-09-07T09:53:22+00:00

All I read here is: “I sought validation from someone else, I got addicted to the validation and dependant, and it didn’t go the way I wanted. Now I’m going to get super angry and throw a tantrum”

Your mistake was relying on a woman for your happiness and confidence. That is SO clear! Emotional experiences are all that matters to her, but no woman with any options is going to stick around for a man they feel is dependant. They need you to be the rock, the leader, the hero.

You mentioned stoicism. Maybe read up on what it actually is.

The fact this glorified greentext has so many upvotes tells me that too many of you are focused on women and superficial TRP talking points rather than focusing on making yourself happy.

TRP is supposed to be about making you better, not bitter!

[deleted] · 2019-09-07T10:02:52+00:00

It's all about ego. Chase them to the exit while you shout to them to leave and they just won't leave. Beg them to stay and they'll be outta there in less than a second.

Dilpil01 · 2019-09-07T13:25:09+00:00

This post adds nothing new.

deathhandmachiavelli · 2019-09-07T14:39:04+00:00

I agree with the top part of your post, but not the "our world is fucked" part.

Women have always been the way they are. There are studies that show that in ancient Egypt, most men would NEVER reproduce.

Women always go for the top guys, the emotional experience is a sign of weakness to them - by nature.

Don't hate the way the world is or blame it on western culture, that is what human females do. They pick the strongest man to breed with - it would be a biological, evolutionary disadvantage for them to become attached based on emotions.

Going back to your first half though, very true. You can do anything for her and make any emotional connection whatsoever, and it can mean ZILCH in one minute.

The only exception, is the sacrifices she makes for YOU.

Pusikur · 2019-09-06T16:36:24+00:00

This is good refresh keep it up bra

s4nch3zz · 2019-09-06T16:42:52+00:00

Thanks for your post. Saved it immediately!

Sove131 · 2019-09-06T20:31:31+00:00

Yeah that's kind of intermediate basics. After you go through the relationship sub, you can see posts from both men and women expressing loss of affection from the female after man shares his feelings/fears and worries. I remember one post where woman said that she is understanding etc but couldnt prevent her disgust and couldn't look on him the same as in the past. It doesn't mean that we have to be unmoved at all, but cannot share too much of it with your partner, for that we got friends in a pub. At least I get it like that.

Edit, Downvote more you pussies, this sub seems to be slowly brigaded, Endorsed contributors posts are getting ignored and contradicted with some BP arguments, whereas angry rants like that are becoming a good advice.

novalentineforyou · 2019-09-06T20:34:47+00:00

How many women is this experience based on?

russian_nigger · 2019-09-07T03:54:12+00:00

I fully recommend a traumatising experience to help you detach from emotional attachment.

I'm 30 now. When I was 25 I had the love of my life. She fell pregnant, I offered to marry her and keep the baby. She got scared and had an abortion. She wanted to "travel the world" (spoiler: its been 5 years and she hasn't done shit since then, just hanging out in this city). I started to despise her as a weak and cowardly woman for killing our baby. Naturally, things went from bad to worse and I ended up leaving her about 6 months later. That's when I discovered TRP. My experience with her hurt me so deeply that I've never once felt any emotional attachment to a woman since then. I'm probably scarred from the experience, and seeing children playing still gives me stabbing pains in my chest from time to time, but it's made me great at protecting myself from ever falling into the trap again. I just don't feel anything for women any more. I can have great dates and weekends away and have a great time with a woman, but the "love" stuff is just completely dead. I fully understand that I was somewhat emotionally retarded by my experience, or it may be that on some level I'm still in love with my ex who I haven't even seen in 5 years, but I really don't mind because I like living this way. It's great fuel for working on yourself.

pacjax · 2019-09-06T18:19:05+00:00

the sexual marketplace isn't fucked its just how it is. only you can put a label like that on something in its state of nature

Otter_Limits · 2019-09-06T23:22:35+00:00

So, the takeaway message from this post is...what, again?

You have to be dominate, stoic, and you have to seem like you have no problems, because you can’t complain.

Everyone has issues, nobody is immune to mental illness or any other form or psychological contamination, and no amount of “will to power” will change that. It is literally not possible for a man to be all of those things, all of the time and NEVER break frame, ever. That is unrealistic and impractical. I understand the anger, but this is just blowing the situation out of proportion—hardly the mark of a calm and collected strategist.

...you share you deeper fear and problems, things you struggle with, thing you’re insecure about, etc., that she will still respect you?

I mean, if what you say is true, you can be the “Most Interesting Man in the World” and she will still leave on a moment’s notice? What’s even the point of dating, if all of your effort means absolutely nothing anyway. Whatever positive message you thought you had communicated in this post was lost to the void of “just give up”.

This post reeks of Black Pill nihilism and utter defeatism...and that’s coming from a person who has had defeatist mindset dominating their life for the last 6 months. The Red Pill is suppose to be a lifestyle of improvement, not a long road towards offing yourself.

Title	Your emotional experiences with her don't mean shit.
Author	SidewaysCircle
Upvotes	458
Comments	144
Date	September 6, 2019 4:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/d0j03u/your_emotional_experiences_with_her_dont_mean_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/your-emotional-experiences-with-her-dont-mean-shit.252512 https://theredarchive.com/post/252512

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