34M 6’3, 230 married 10 years together 15

Found MRP last year, didn’t dive in as quick as I should have. Started taking myself and MRP more seriously around the first of the year.

I have been focused on lifting 5-6 times per week since the new year. Reading when I am able, have completed NMMNG and WISNIFG. Just starting MMSLP today.

Im going to try to keep this to the point. A few weeks ago, was in the kitchen with the family and I saw my wife set her phone down on the counter. Snapchat was open and noticed a contact that I didn’t recognize. It was just initials, not a full name which I thought was odd. I also noticed at the time they had a 6 day snap streak. Didn’t think much of it at the time.

Days later, I saw in passing again, same contact on her list, this time with a 3 day snap streak. This time I saw the avatar and it had a goatee, so it’s a dude. My hamster started going and that night it clicked. This is a guy she dated in HS before me. I knew they stayed in contact (assumed through FB) as she has showed me family pictures of theirs before. He is also married with kids.

I couldn’t sleep that night, so I checked her phone. The chat was deleted. Probably dumb to check her phone instead of confronting her about it. Over the last 2 weeks, my brain has gone non stop. I haven’t been sleeping, and have checked her phone on multiple occasions late at night. It is usually deleted from her chat history, occasionally it’s not, but the content auto deletes. When it has been on her chat history, I have noticed she has notifications for that chat silenced.

Snapchat can be a sneaky way to communicate as it is, but deleting chats and silencing notifications adds to my suspicions.

My question is do I confront her about this with very limited info? Do I ignore it and move on? Do I continue gathering info? If there are any posts on this that can be linked I don’t necessarily need the answer, but a direction would be appreciated.