Valentine's Day

weakandsensitive · 2018-01-31T15:05:34+00:00

I hadn't started thinking about V Day, but yesterday she said, "So, this is difficult for me, but I'd like to show you what I want for Valentine's Day". An expensive ring.

I laughed out loud.

That's what I would've done to her face too.

The real question is how long have you been tolerating an increasing level of disrespect both from her and yourself (cause you're a fat fuck) to let it get to this point.

This year, we had a major blowup around her birthday. I picked the wrong restaurant.

Women act shitty because men let women act shitty. You brought this on yourself - and you deserve everything you're getting.

Get her a ring pop and get yourself a stripper. At least have someone pretend to be interested in you.

red-sfpplus · 2018-01-31T15:24:41+00:00

If you wouldn't buy the ring on the other 364 days of the year, then don't buy it on Valentines day.

Edit: A few other brothers are saying "skittles" or "ring pop"

I am going to go against that advice and say you are not ready yet, nor is she. With your current situation, that will more than likely just cause a fight. Maybe V-Day 2019 you can do that.

I think a generic "I decided to not celebrate V-Day this year by spending a bunch of $" is a better play than anything.

I would just plan ahead and spend as much time as you can away from her, at the gym on V-Day.

Rian_Stone · 2018-01-31T14:55:43+00:00

Reward good behaviour, don't reward bad behaviour

The_Litz · 2018-01-31T14:43:49+00:00

You see the light. Valentines day is a Blue pill public holiday.

Skittles is the go to gift for valentines around her, but be warned, it requires frame and confidence on a high value man.

Your frame is still reactive to your surrounding inputs, Skittles come when you start acting on your own impulses with confidence and not reacting to other peoples inputs (Vday ring, bday shit test).

Don't go Rambo on her right now, she will crush you.

In the absence of frame give her a nice, sincere, hand written card. It will be her wake up call that her free ride is over.

EDIT: The card should not actually tell her the ride is over, make it a nice card. Her hamster will tell her it is over.

mrpthrowa · 2018-01-31T15:12:55+00:00

"So, this is difficult for me, but I'd like to show you what I want for Valentine's Day".

Huh.

The only correct response to such an entitled and brat question is a playful...

"yeah I've been wondering that too, what are you getting me? oh don't tell me I like suprises".

And leave it at that.

Don't get her any fucking thing. I guarantee you that no woman who is that entitled is ever going to be satisfied with even the moon on a plate.

maitre-pingouin · 2018-01-31T15:49:20+00:00

It's been years since I did anything for Valentine's day. No gift, no restaurant, no special treatment, nothing. And my wife never complains (she thinks Valentine's day is for bland people). Moreover, for Christmas and her birthday, I only offer things I chose or that have an utility and will improve her life (or mine, like lingerie).

We have our own date in February (an anniversary), and we hang out, together. No gifts, just enjoying each other without the kids.

Crossed_the_Rubicon · 2018-01-31T14:39:41+00:00

If you don't want to buy her the ring, then don't. If you fear her reaction then you are solidly in her frame.

I stopped buying gifts for Valentines day a few years ago. I buy her a modest flower arrangement because I like to see her smile. I cook a nice family dinner because I like good food.

dcapt46 · 2018-01-31T15:16:41+00:00

Looked at the responses above and I like the best is ring pop and hand written card.

I would get one of those cards that have a nice pic on the front but no words and blank inside. Then write something simple meaningful like "I like it when you x."

Well done that you recognized that the fancy ring wasn't the way to go even if you could afford it.

SeamusAwl · 2018-01-31T15:43:35+00:00

I hadn't started thinking about V Day, but yesterday she said, "So, this is difficult for me, but I'd like to show you what I want for Valentine's Day". An expensive ring.

Buy a cock ring instead. Saint Valentine was man. It is your day. If you want to be romantic, do it for you. But that day is for you. She gets to be the one you will be having that day.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-01-31T16:36:54+00:00

I'm overweight, so my mission is STFU and Lift. Every week I'm trying to do something "for myself". I have a therapist, I joined a gym, I had some dental work I'd been postponing done. I'm thinking of getting lasik, and I'm taking a trip to see my brother.

FINALLY, someone who gets it and isn't trying to justify where he is.

An expensive ring.

A ring pop. When she asks why, "Because expensive rings are for SUCKERS, that's why!"

InChargeMan · 2018-01-31T21:24:46+00:00

Get her this

redbeaux · 2018-01-31T15:38:35+00:00

You have so many options. This could be fun. The easiest thing is to get her nothing and act like it's a normal day...because it is.

A more fun option would be, show her a picture of something ridiculous that you want (extra points if it's a hot girl) and parrot back her statement. Then when you don't get her the ring and she's pissy about it, you can be mock pissy about not getting what you wanted.

Edit: Just thought of another good one. Tell her straight up that you're not going to get her that ring. When she asks why, tell her she doesn't deserve it and then go full STFU. I realize you're new and fat, but maaaan if you can hold frame in this scenario, her hamster will do cartwheels. Go big or go home!

Alpha_Engineer99 · 2018-01-31T15:10:19+00:00

“I Hadn’t started thinking about v day”

Get out this mindset. It’s a made up holiday.

Continue to think about yourself for once in your life: lift, exercise, eat healthy, start new healthy habits, up your SMV, new hobbies.

Keep it up.

freshona · 2018-01-31T17:14:25+00:00

If you wan't to get her a gift, get her a gift. One that YOU want to give her.

Then consider why you want to give her a gift in the first place.

You'll probably not get her a gift, in the end.

TurdDoctor · 2018-01-31T17:43:45+00:00

Buy two tickets to an event YOU like (concert, comedy, whatever) and invite her to come along. If she is bitchy about it, take someone else and have a good time.

coluorred · 2018-01-31T18:53:32+00:00

"So, this is difficult for me, but I'd like to show you what I want for Valentine's Day". An expensive ring" Just don't do it..She is speaking covertly, which is why it's difficult. She is trying to tell the Beta provider currently in her life (you) the price for her "love".

Buy her a gift from your heart. Not a bitter heart, but from a good place that you feel she should have - not what you have been ordered to buy her.

VengefullyY0urs · 2018-01-31T20:54:04+00:00

I don’t see this question but based on the fact you are at this subreddit suggests the answer:

Are you having a reasonable amount of sex?

If not, plus you’re the sole breadwinner and getting the disrespectful attitude, start implementing the 12 stages of dread which it sounds like you are doing.

Also I agree that you’re not ready for he skittles or ring pop scenario. If you go MRP Rambo mode, it would be foolish and useless.

Btw, if you follow the 12 stages, there is a very good chance your marriage will end, but you will be very well equipped to move on. I got to stage 6-7 I think before my marriage ended and my income, physique, status and sex life have drastically improved (3-4 times weekly between 4-5, and some threesomes).

The point is follow the 12 steps and your life will improve.

drjamesstone · 2018-01-31T22:21:16+00:00

This was me, last year. My wife suggested me getting her a new watch for Valentine's day.

"I won't be buying you a watch"

"Why not?"

"That's not what I want to do"

"What if that's what I want you to do?"

"I suspect you'll be disappointed"

"What are you going to get me for Valentine's day???"

"Same thing you get from me every day...me"

I walked out of the room to go take the dog out. No clue what her reaction was. It's not why I said it. I said it because I was being honest. If I'm not enough, a high earning, honourable man, then she's gotta look higher in the tree I suppose (spoiler alert:. After me, there no more branches)

Get to the stage where you realize you're the best thing she could ever hope for. Until then, don't use material things to compensate. You'll regret it.

ReddJive · 2018-02-01T15:33:58+00:00

I just had an interesting conversation in the office about marriage. In it the woman I was talking to told me the main difference between having a girlfriend and being married is that you can't leave the marriage. I replied I can leave any time I want to. So can she.

To which she replied not without consequences.

Not shocking but my reply to her was that there are always consequences to any decision. The question is are you willing to deal with them.

It's not so simple to come here and get the answer. Sure guys are going to give you one. But have you thought through the third and fourth order effects of those decisions? Can you handle the consequences? Whats your plan? Otherwise you are just coming here question after question bouncing around. You will come back here the next day and talk about what a bitch she was, or chuckle about whatever happened. Ok. that was fun but in what way did it move you closer to your life's mission? You've been given the rules and the tools. Start forming your plan. Ask but have a response and know what your third and fourth move are.

The first thought should be does she deserve this item? Could be anything....even a bag of skittles. Does she deserve it? If not then what does she deserve? Remember that Alphas want to share with those that deserve it. It's transactional at it's most base level but can grow and even become thoughtful as the Alpha learns how to maneuver around and has firmly established his frame.

Above all you must remember that there is no relationship without you. You are the gatekeeper of time and commitment therefore this is your greatest gift. You are told to limit this in the beginning in order to reestablish it's value. Only you can determine what she deserves and how much of your value she gets this Valentine's and any day in general.

No matter what you do you are going to need cast iron frame. She expects the ring and V Day is one of the biggest days of validation for a woman. Now I don't know if removing your time completely is the answer. That will invite a large shit test as well..one I am sure you can't handle. Only you know really. Yet I am a romanic at heart and if she doesn't want to come along...fine. I'm going to have fun. Maybe not change a thing about your day. Don't even mention whats to happen. Then get home. Tell she's got X amount of time to get ready. Take her out for a fun night. Again...your call here, but see the value in your time? If she gets all pissy about not getting the ring then you can go out and have fun by yourself.

I am not advocating a specific plan here (other than NOT buying that fucking ring) the point is not what you do but how you do it. Your time. Your attention. Her attitude is her decision to not participate. She gets pissy about the ring is the same as your 3 year old getting upset that you didn't by that matchbox car in the grocery store. My shrew did this last year when I didn't do dick for Mother's day. I got the "I deserve" speech...as I walked out the door to go run errands.

You are either a warrior or a victim. The only thing you deserve in life is death

JudgeDoom69 · 2018-02-01T19:46:20+00:00

I'm thinking of getting lasik

You should totally do this. I had Lasik done 17 years ago and I still see 20/20. Pro Tip: Ask them for a second Valium prior to the procedure.

I'm fucking done with offering her increasingly expensive gifts to avoid her getting mad

You've answered your own question here. If you're done getting her expensive gifts to pacify her greedy materialistic ass, then you're done. I'd suggest you do something from which you both benefit, like a long weekend in Vegas or Cancun. Pro Tip II: Make sure she won't be on the rag at that time.

The idea of Skittles still cracks me up.

BluepillProfessor · 2018-02-01T22:13:00+00:00

I am in the camp that you need to change before demanding changes from wifey poo.

You want her to stop whining about not getting expensive gifts? Good fracking luck pal.

You can't change other people or make them do something they don't want to do. You can change the paradigm so that they want to do whatever it is you are manipulating them into doing.

AquitasVeritas · 2018-02-01T22:41:42+00:00

Read sidebar.

When reading those books you will know wt you are missing.

I had fits like this in the past. The way you react to her fights shows her if you are in her frame or not.. building frame is fucking important.

screechhater · 2018-01-31T22:40:49+00:00

Ya. Umh, fat boys should not buy expensive shit. Especially for entitled cunts.

Threw a fit over the wrong restaurant- my reaction, “you drunk mother fucker you”

Therapy ? For what ? I went due to some guilt of missions, but then again they were orders But the beatings from dad never came up. Now the priest fucking me in the ass ..... not sure

Re arranging of the chores ? Hmm.

Your biggest gain will be Frame.

Keep losing weight, respect that bitch and demand respect back.

Never, ever forget to remain calm under all duress, STFU and pretend like fuck, words in the shit tests do not bother you. As you lose weight and gain traction, the shit tests will abound.

Title	Valentine's Day
Author	unsolicitedaaadvice
Upvotes	5
Comments	38
Date	January 31, 2018 2:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7ua9ai/valentines_day/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/valentines-day.204876 https://theredarchive.com/post/204876

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