Cheated on GF yesterday, feel empty as fuck

TRPdating · 2016-10-01T22:18:14+00:00

My philosophy is this. If it happens once, don't bring it up. This is YOUR cross to bear. Learn from it. If it happens again, you need to stop LTRing and just spin plates.

freeligious · 2016-10-02T03:52:56+00:00

Too much moralizing in this thread. "What if she did it to you?" bullshit.

I'll just say what needs to be said. Men and woman aren't the same and it isn't the same when they cheat. Yes, it's worse when women cheat.

What's most important to her is having a monopoly on your comittment and resources. As long as nothing has changed in that regard, and you didn't contract any STDs, you'd only be hurting her by telling her.

For millions of years worth of evolution, if a woman cheated on her man he could spend precious life resources spreading someone else's genes rather than his own.

This would have disastrous implications for the future of his lineage, quite possibly wiping it out entirely.

If a man cheats, his lineage can benefit while there is absolutely no cost to him, his mate, or her offspring so long as he stays committed to her.

Thus, when a woman cheats, she is showing not only disloyalty, but absolute contempt for the man as she is willing to destroy his chances of successful reproduction.

When a man cheats, he isn't hurting her at all so long as his comittment to her is unaffected.

Evolution has programmed our psychology accordingly. Studies have also shown that women are much more worried about their mates falling in love with other women (which would result in a loss of comittment and future resources) than they are the actual sexual act.

Go ahead and make all the morality judgements you want. Just stop with the bullshit comparisons.

cdogg75 · 2016-10-01T23:37:13+00:00

I think part of being a "real man" is owning up to your choices and mistakes. I see so many butthurt boys/men on here saying how they can't trust women and AWALT, just to read the exact same hamstering these children come on here crying about.

Man the fuck up and own it. If you had abundance mentality, it shouldn't matter anyhow. We all fuck up. How we handle it separates the boys from the men.

fakefalse · 2016-10-01T22:02:57+00:00

Telling her is selfish. It isn't to make her feel better, it's to soften your own feelz and guilt.

[deleted] · 2016-10-02T01:08:38+00:00

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VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-10-02T06:02:21+00:00

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

-The-Pussy-Whisperer · 2016-10-01T22:40:08+00:00

Guess you have to figure out what kind of man you are

Choice: tell or don't tell Now if you don't tell, you need to either forgive yourself or get eaten up by guilt. If you do tell, be prepared to either ride the shitstorm or realize you're obviously too young for committed relationships and end it

Apexk9 · 2016-10-01T21:10:48+00:00

Never happened. Forget and move on

frazzleddd · 2016-10-02T16:13:17+00:00

What the fuck are these comments. Bunch of fucking white knight goobers in here.

Cheating as a man is not the same as cheating as a woman. One is the sign of being a high status man and the other is being a alut.

Good luck op. The cross is yours to bear but if you explicitly tell her there's going to be trouble

Pedro_Navaja · 2016-10-02T00:03:46+00:00

You "kinda" fucked years ago?

The male hamster.

zyk0s · 2016-10-02T00:17:05+00:00

Women are way more concerned about emotional infidelity, whereas men care about the sexual part. If you're a good catch, your LTR will not leave you even if you cheated on her. Going to her crying about how you're sorry will prove that you aren't such a good catch.

Now, there's a few things to say about the whole situation. First, why did you sleep with that other chick, if your LTR is so much better? You said you "kinda fucked" in the past, so there was nothing to be curious about. If it's just opportunities missed, you have to rethink your mindset, which is where half of the guilt comes from. The other half is because you allowed her to toy with you like that and engage you emotionally.

Here's the deal: your LTR wants emotional exclusivity, so if you're going to fuck chicks behind her back, it has to be purely for sex, and you CANNOT feel bad about it and think about them for longer than the time your dick is in one of their holes. If you cannot do that, don't fuck other chicks. If you don't like this arrangement, do not get into an LTR, and just have different chicks with various levels of investment. As for what to do right now, that depends on you. If you confess, it is the fact that you're confessing that is going to displease your girl the most. If you try to hide it, you're being a coward. So the less worse course of action is to deal with your feelings on your own, not volunteer the information but answer truthfully if questioned. Obviously not an ideal situation, but then again, you fucked up getting there in the first place.

SneakyTouchy · 2016-10-02T00:34:51+00:00

Your mistake was feeling bad about it.

BlackHeart89 · 2016-10-02T00:02:22+00:00

It's some hamstring going on in here. It's up to you man. It depends on your morals.

You'll respect yourself more if you tell her or break it off. But the relationship will be forever damaged. If you don't tell her or break up, then the guilt will eat at you and you'll lose some respect for yourself.

I can tell this will be the outcome because otherwise, you wouldn't be feeling so bad about it right now.

Tauger3 · 2016-10-02T13:46:45+00:00

Keep in mind, women don't need your loyalty as much as they need to FEEL like they have your loyalty.

RPXclusive · 2016-10-02T15:53:49+00:00

Here's what I would do.

Primo, I'd keep the GF around, that's easy pussy, and easy pussy is better than your hand.

Secundo, I'd completely forget about that night. It happened, nothing to fret about now. Keep it casual with the other girl. And if it ever comes up in later conversations, it's no biggie.

Tertio, I'd probably do it again, should the chance arise. Some chick got me aroused, and she was down for it, so fuck it, I'm having sex with her. Girls would rather share my dick than lose my resources.

Ultimately, if the relationship breaks, fuck it, there's always some other chick (possible upgrade) willing to have me.

darkrood · 2016-10-02T17:58:21+00:00

You let her lead.

You did not make any decision.

Blah blah blah "I knew what is up but decided to have some fun"

YOU WATED TO CHEAT ON YOUR GF

You are just having a hard time rationalizing all this.

Swap the gender, then it will be clear as night and day that you've made your decision with every little one along the way.

Here is my philosophy: Either be 100% remorseless bad guy or 100% good men.

Both will get genuine respect in their own circles, but those who decide to dance around on this decision are the scum bags puss that we despise.

Chew on that.

-IIIII--------IIIII- · 2016-10-02T23:57:58+00:00

Full disclosure: I'm religious.

I don't really consider non-marital bonds legitimate tbh. I see it all as sinful fornication. But we live in a different society from my ideal one, which makes me wish I could travel back in time.

I don't really know what to tell you... if you were married, I'd have you punished for adultery (assuming I was king).

SocialJusticeWhiner · 2016-10-21T06:15:57+00:00

This happens at first if you like a girl. I think you knew what you were getting into though bro so don't bullshit yourself. Perhaps ask yourself why you cheated? Are you sexually/emotionally unfulfilled? Why do you feel bad? In the past I've routinely used my girlfriends to pull in hot side pieces and the sex was always great, however it comes from not being able to feel vulnerable and intimate with one woman, for me anyways. If you're going to do it then do it and don't feel bad but you may way to dig deeper and find the real cause to see if it's something that is impeding your happiness.

notimportantjustme · 2016-10-01T22:21:49+00:00

You should do what you'd want her to do in your place.

mattizie · 2016-10-02T01:46:17+00:00

Fuck more random women until you become desensitised to it.

Cunt_Robber · 2016-10-02T02:00:48+00:00

Shut your trap and continue going for what you want, whether it be the relationship you have with your GF or fucking around. If she finds out, you have to own up to it and suffer the consequences. If she never finds out, then take this as a huge learning experience and don't do it again unless you choose to demote your GF to plate status. Think it through, make a decision, and make sure you hold frame with respect to your decision.

I've been there man. The feeling right after you finish, it sucks doesn't it? I got with a girl I had a history with before meeting my then-GF. She knew I was in a relationship, figured I wanted to cheat, and was down to help me do it. I came and rolled over, exhausted and feeling a little... not like I expected. She sat up, lit a cigarette, looked me dead in the eye, and said "Feels shitty doesn't it."

ArchSudo · 2016-10-02T07:00:36+00:00

Funny how the top comment is the same thing women are being accused of in TRP. It's not his fault. It his cross to bear. Whenever there's a post in trp or mgtow with these words by a women we seeproof of our theory but we use the same explanation for a man? Man the fuck up, take responsability and move on.

teeay · 2016-10-02T04:42:59+00:00

Hmmm. Depends. Have you intentionally chosen monogamy? If so, you let yourself down, didn't keep to your own standards. Of course if it's your clear decision to be monogamous, you would know why you chose that, so think about that reason, compare it to the reason you fucked the other girl, decide what you want to do, and act.

If you didn't actually make a real decision to stay exclusive with your gf, but you feel bad because you've done something you shouldn't have, now is a good opportunity to decide how you want to manage sexual exclusivity going forward. There are no right answers. Figure out your own way.

Your problem isn't last night btw. If you fucked the new girl well, she's gonna want more. How's she going to play it when you dump her?

kellykebab · 2016-10-02T04:52:46+00:00

I think you should probably tell her. If you were the kind of ice cold asshole who could live with this, you wouldn't be asking anyone for advice. Since it sounds like you have an actual conscience (like most people), hanging onto this secret will probably fuck up the relationship and/or you in some way down the line.

If you don't care about relationships as a serious project, it doesn't really matter what you do, right? If you do care about them, honesty is definitely the best policy.

DonaldBaelish · 2016-10-02T07:24:56+00:00

Cheating can be immoral and it can be amoral , the main difference being that immoral is wrong and amoral just "is". A Machiavellian would rather consider it being "immoral" , because of principles. Do to others as you would have them do to you. A Machiavellian man would not want to get cheated on and he would follow that fundamental truth. He also would not want to cheat , if he had nothing to gain from it.

You cheated because of the adrenaline , the danger and because you wanted to enhance the pride of your old self. You have not yet killed the beta. The question is did you gain more if your LTR was to fail tomorrow? If I were in a situation where I would cheat , I would at least take care of some main cautions. Under no cicrumstances must the girl know that I am in a commited relationship. And if there were indicators that I would fail , that someone would fuck me over or the girl herself , I would not do it.

Because of a different view of morality , the Machiavellian would keep his girl , given that she was a good one. He would not feel guilty and he would not look back but will always have something in mind.

[deleted] · 2016-10-02T06:19:20+00:00

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SephRP · 2016-10-02T00:57:16+00:00

Options in order of preference:

1) Shut the fuck up and take it to the grave. 2) Break up with her but stay silent 3) Break up with her and come clean 4) Come clean and let her decide

If you can do it, just keep that shit silent. Although feeling guilt is obviously a pretty normal reaction, I can tell you from experience that telling her is absolutely not worth it. If you can't live with the guilt, break up with her but do not reveal anything.

ECoast_Man · 2016-10-02T02:15:29+00:00

It gets much easier the next time.

You can either move on confident you don't need other pussy around, or you can downgrade and get foreign pussy.

Sounds like you want the former. Under no circumstance tell her.

throwingmore · 2016-10-02T09:31:55+00:00

You're responsible for your choices. Tell her or don't is up to you but it's obvious that whether or not you do, this will change the relationship dynamic forever.

If you can handle it, great. If you can't, no point to stick around and try to make it work.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2016-10-02T00:22:33+00:00

She will find out. Sooner or later, she will. The more time that passes before she does, the more she will hate you for it.

Make your choice, how many months or years do you want to spend wondering if this will be the day she finds out. Personally, I find it more admirable when people own up to their mistakes as soon as they make them. Maybe she will too, who knows, you're the one who knows her best. But she's gonna find out. Don't kid yourself.

Are you a man, or a rat?

rutluv · 2016-10-01T23:23:29+00:00

You are a piece of shit. She deserves to know who you are so she can move on with someone who respects her.

deville05 · 2016-10-02T05:31:47+00:00

Telling someone this is selfish. Because it does them no good. This is to only make yourself momentarily feel better while making them feel shitty for quite some time

JacksOnJaxOff · 2016-10-02T06:08:02+00:00

I think it's a stupid thing to worry about. Don't stress about it. Its an asshole move to cheat but it's already done. It differs from person to person but if you can stomach it, don't tell her. That should be a signal to you that you don't want to be in a LTR but maybe that's just me. If you can't handle it, come clean ASAP. You really shouldn't be in a committed relationship if you're going to cheat. What's the point of making a relationship exclusive if you don't hold yourslef to the standard you agreed on? That's weak. At the end of the day, just do whatever is in your own best interest. Interpret that in any way you want. That's what TRP is all about for me.

RPSigmaStigma · 2016-10-02T11:18:36+00:00

This is exactly why you should never promise monogamy.

notimportantjustme · 2016-10-02T12:26:36+00:00

As you can see, some TRP people are scum. They have no morals, double standards, they use knowledge in a bad way. TRP is a tool, it does not dictate your morals and goals.

You're already a scum I guess for cheating, but it's never too late to do the right thing and not be a scum from now on. Don't waste her time, she should decide what to do with it.

So you have to decide, are you a scum or are you not? The answer is obvious either way.

ThisIsMyPotPie21 · 2016-10-02T14:42:11+00:00

My philosophy is you're a fucking dick and you should tell your girlfriend. People on here might shrug it off and say whatever, but generally those kinds of people are wasters anyway who are just good for nothing, and people who cheat eventually get what is coming to them. You can either hide it and be a fucking pussy, or admit to it, break up, and find someone else.

If there's one thing I fucking despise, it's a cheater.

rigbed · 2016-10-02T00:33:03+00:00

Continue to cheat, as an alpha you have plates your gf is not exclusive to you don't be exclusive to her. Never apologize never act ashamed. Claim that your testosterone is so high you need several women to satisfy you.

samuraiBR777 · 2016-10-02T00:51:21+00:00

"She did that annoying female crap, denied my advances while shivering from excitement, and we ended up having sex. First time in my life I made a girl scream."

idk why females seems to be always behaving like that, despite her age.

my advice would be telling your GF about your cheating only in the future, when you are about to engage. because until now, nothing is sure whether she is really your special one or not. so she doesn't need to know it

but firstly u need to forgive yourself, despite that grave mistake. nobody is perfect. or even pray to ease your mind.

Title	Cheated on GF yesterday, feel empty as fuck
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	52
Comments	121
Date	October 1, 2016 9:09 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/55f74q/cheated_on_gf_yesterday_feel_empty_as_fuck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/cheated-on-gf-yesterday-feel-empty-as-fuck.285 https://theredarchive.com/post/285

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