No one cares about me. The world does not give a fuck about me and if I were to die it would not make even a drop in the ocean of a difference. Why the fuck should I carry on living? I could easily remove myself from this situation and rid myself of the current pain and suffering I not only feel now but have felt for years upon years. I may cause others pain temporarily, but the thought of them feeling some sort of pain validates the pain I have felt, in my eyes.

Would going to war and dying in battle be more noble than killing myself? Should I stay alive just to grind myself away until I am basically dead inside anyway? I just don't get it. I dont understand the motivation to even fucking live. Even if I were to game a 10/10 and marry her, she would most likely cheat on me, divorce me and increase the pain and suffering in my life. I can't even trust women anymore, let alone blue pill men. I feel alone to the core of my bones and I want to die. I want to be rid of this existential suffering.

So, in summary, why should I not blow my fucking brains out?