Any older guys here? 30's or 40's

PrinceCaspian1 · 2019-06-13T16:20:26+00:00

I’m 37, male, 5’6, bald with glasses and not fit. This community gave me the knowledge to tame my approach anxiety and meet a lot of women. I’m at a time in life where I’m ready to start a family and I’m happy to say I just got married last month to a girl I would’ve normally thought was WAY out of my league. Turns out she is my age too, but she looks young (she’s Asian but born in the U.S.). I just saw her across the street, and ran over and told her she’s beautiful, and asked her out, and she said yes. I’ve always wanted someone like her who is very introverted (like me) and shares my values. She’s really happy I learned what I did from this community, and loves telling people the story of how we met, and most people can’t believe it.

Captain_w00t · 2019-06-13T13:49:01+00:00

42m recently divorced after 18 years, not the most attractive too :-)

I don't know particular tips, but I've found that women/girls are socially/sexually available with me. Sometimes they even approach me directly (happened 5 or 6 times in the recent weeks). Also, I don't see too much competition, many guys I see around me usually appear needy/insecure, sometimes older than their age. I look like a 30-35, I'm relaxed and I smile, that's it.

I suppose that it depends a lot by the venue and its demography. I usually go solo to clubs or concerts (where I can find women in their 20-40s), going to bars alone didn't worked too much at least for me and after 1-2 beers I start getting bored, so I don't go often.

I also avoid OLD apps, I don't have decent pics, so I had few matches, the only dates I went, didn't have a second one, and I also realized that (for me) it's not worth the effort/results ratio. I definitely shine in real life, rather than on bare pics.

My 2 cents

ImJustSaiyan44 · 2019-06-13T19:11:20+00:00

I feel personally attacked by your "older guys, 30s" statement. Way to make me feel like an old pile at 30.

Chichachachi · 2019-06-13T14:42:23+00:00

39 and have two gfs right now, one 21, the other 24. I'm still out there meeting new girls, too, and they are cool with it.

canarywocoalmine · 2019-06-13T15:18:12+00:00

I'm 50, fit, dress well, dating early 30s, seeing interest from 20s. Have taken a seduction bootcamp, DM and I'll tell you who. Has helped a lot to understand female psychology. If you aren't in good shape, dress well, good hair cut, I can't recommend doing these things enough, you'll see a positive impact big time.

Veganpuncher · 2019-06-13T22:31:49+00:00

Don't pretend it's something it's not. 47yo here, dating late 20s, early thirties. I'm not going to take them to BBQs or family events, because it would be weird. What I will do is take them to shows that their contemporaries would never consider - Symphonies, plays, expensive restaurants, exclusive bars where the waiters know my name. It has to be an extravaganza every time, because I know our time together is limited. She's going to want to have kids soon, and I'm not the father-type. So, I make it very clear what the relationship will be. If it works, great! If it doesn't, I've saved both of us a lot of future heartache and grief.

That being said, I am happy to date single MILFs as long as they realise that it's a short-term thing - I have no intention of being daddy to some other guy's kids. Again, a good time, not a long time.

Like most single guys my age, I keep fit, have a good job, my own place and knowledge and manners that only time and experience can convey.

Frdoco11 · 2019-06-13T22:32:49+00:00

Older guys are more valued I think given the way millennials have problems with intrapersonal communication. The direct approach whether success or not is more memorable to her than some dude texting or sliding into her DM's. Impressions are felt. That kind of energy cannot be replicated over a phone or on a computer. Unless you're a great writer and can seduce with words.

traveler0727 · 2019-06-13T18:26:23+00:00

Cool

MBSCinsight · 2019-06-13T22:18:36+00:00

You are older and more mature that is your advantage that's what you need to focus on. Why would you even waste time competing or focusing on an area you know you'll most likely lose in.

Yes, women give good looking guys an easier time at first but, that's the game. Show your Balls, show your leadership and you'll find the young hot girls that love that. Women don't put as much value on looks as men do so if you are decent looking you can go a long way if you have balls and are confident so I would work on that aspect of your self.

FlyePUA · 2019-06-14T00:05:05+00:00

I am 1 year away from 30, just turned 29. Current gf is a hot Mexican 18 year old who ended up having a threesome with me and my 28 year old Asian boyfriend. I really only crush over 18-25 year olds, not to be creepy but yeah I see the preference men have for younger women. I'm pretty sure its a Mommy fetish but for women only.

The only thing setting you back is your mentality. First, you are forgetting that you just had a relationship with a 24 year old woman just a year ago. That itself should be a success story and confirms your belief that you can get with younger women. We can tell you all the success stories you want but clearly your own success story should be your own confirmation. That's the best way to tell if you can still get with younger girls- if you've done it before. And you have, so don't worry about it!

Second, you are viewing your strengths as a CRUTCH more than as something to be proud of. You shouldn't be thinking, "I'm not as attractive as I used to be, but hopefully I can win them over with my status and financial stability and being emotionally mature!" That's going to lead to you either turning girls off or getting the wrong girls (girls seeking sugar from your wallet). You need to start thinking like this: "I'm a grown ass man who has money, security, a great place to live, wisdom, and authority over my life. I'm more experienced and stand out from the younger crowd because I am a more educated, experienced, and powerful person in society. There are many women for me to choose from and since I have so much value, I have the right to choose any woman who fits my criteria and responds to my advances. " This switch in mentality itself may help change your game.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-06-14T03:12:53+00:00

1

....there is a lot of competition from younger guys.

At the end of the day, it's not a competition.

There's a segment of the population of women you're interested in, that would be interested in you. Like the intersection of a Venn Diagram.

All seduction is, is finding out who those women are, among the women you are interested in. Not every woman you are interested will be up for it. But some will be.

And when they are, it won't be a competition. The catch is, if you assume it's a competition against the younger guys, you'll be thinking of yourself in such a way that you'll lose.

So cut it out, man. ;)

2

I am not the most attractive which gives me a disadvantage already.

Look, this is a subjective thing. I'm sure you've been in a room of guys arguing about who their "10s" are. I have been numerous times anyway, and also been a fly on the wall once or twice when women did the same. One universal thing is that one person's "10" is another person's "7" or even "6."

The funny thing is, since that one person imagines the person in question to be a "10," they make it harder on themselves. Meanwhile, the person who sees that "10" as a "7," or "6," doesn't see what the fuss is about and has a much easier time interacting confidently around them.

So again, cut it out. :P

3

However, I am hoping my maturity, the fact that I am financially, emotionally stable together with that I do look after my body & health is something positive.

There will always be someone in the market for such things. The trick is finding ways to efficiently expose yourself to new people in a natural way. Like going to events or hanging with social groups organized around people wanting to meet and interact with new people.

Through means like these, I have seen guys rebuild their entire social lives from complete scratch repeatedly and strongly after moving to new countries or new cities. It doesn't require putting out for symphonies, plays, or expensive bars and restaurants.

Reply me with the general area where you live, and some hobbies you have, and I can suggest some things. PM me if you want to keep it private. But if you're comfortable sharing on the thread, it will help others.

Either way is fine with me.

mrblackjapa · 2019-06-13T16:51:10+00:00

Upper 30s almost 40 (still in denial lol)... last couple girls I smashed 19, 22, 24. Usually won’t smash anything 30 or older unless it’s extenuating circumstances. But In my case I’ve always been extremely handsome, I don’t look my age, and I’m extremely muscular. Also I still have the “swagger” of my youth and keep up with what’s going on in the contemporary world. I’m not walking around dressed like a dad in polo shirts tucked into some khakis. That’s my appeal and that’s why I’m able to do what I can because externally I’m no different than the younger guys they mess with plus I have the prestige and cache of having a good career plus a lot of wisdom from having had many experiences. So I guess you can say I’m more of an anomaly than the norm but I still know other people my age bracket still killing it out there. But it mostly comes down to if you were always good with women then you’re not gonna lose that as you age. If you struggled in your youth then it’s going to be an uphill battle for you as an older guy trying to smash younger girls. But my best advice is to obviously get/keep in good shape, be charismatic, don’t dress too “dad like” (but at the same time don’t try to pull off young people’s fashion like surf shirts and backwards hats cuz you’ll look like an idiot) and go out and approach women in public wherever you happen to be. Hit the bars and clubs and put yourself out there. Don’t rely on dating apps because you’ll prbably kill your confidence and only attract post wall women looking for a provider to take care of them. And keep an edge about yourself.

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-06-13T16:29:39+00:00

32, went through a shitty breakup of a LTR a few years back. This community helped me get back on the horse (eat that horse 🤣). Really glad I joined here, slept with plenty of new women and started to really just go for my goals and put out there what I want and the universe has provided, exponentially! I am still working on getting a solid FWB but so far has been a bunch of hit and quits mostly due to me being needy which I am actively working on. I'm way more smooth now then when I first joined this community.

I will be starting another LTR in a couple of months but just sleeping around now to have some fun before I do. All in all it's been a good experience, albeit a frustrating one. I'd say the hardest part of this seduction thing is being honest with yourself and seeing yourself for who you are as a person. It's not an easy thing to do.

TalulaRouge · 2019-06-14T01:10:50+00:00

As a woman that's always dated older guys, their selling points were that they were more intelligent than younger men (better conversation), cared more about having good sex, and they weren't needy.

A commenter here said stay off OLD apps and I agree. Men age differently than women, depending on what their health is like and unfortunately it doesn't necessarily give off the best impression -- too many of them just don't convey you in your best light and most women are used to seeing guys try to use pictures of themselves 20 years younger, only to be shocked when they meet the man in person. You're better off in RL.

theawakenedwarrior · 2019-06-14T02:32:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jacksonvilles · 2019-06-13T13:24:47+00:00

I could give you a success story but I don't think reddit would approve of such an age gap, especially since most users are from thh US (different laws here in the UK lol)

ImJustSo · 2019-06-13T22:34:02+00:00

Girls don't care about your age if they're attracted to you. They don't care about shit if they're attracted to you. They will keep being attracted to you if you've got your shit together though. Hair, clothes, car, job, body, social skills, humor, an easy smile. I think dating as an older dude is just way better than the garbage I went through when I was younger.

Anyway, 18-21yo girls regularly hit on me. I'm 36 and I smile a lot. I'm married and date women with my wife, have done for about 8 years. So I've had an 8 year "pick up" journey.

I've done everything from daygame, night game, direct approaches, indirect approaches, online dating, friend-circle dating and I guess I'd say I've had success in each aspect, but I had to work my ass off. I'm weaker in some areas, like we all should recognize, but I have strengths that...work for me.

chava2019 · 2019-06-13T13:45:54+00:00

How did you get your ex? There are no rules dude, just put yourself out there and have fun, someone will notice.

I’m 28 btw

DajuanKev · 2019-06-13T16:42:20+00:00

Give me hope, this thread.

randomamerican2020 · 2019-06-13T22:06:21+00:00

Been lazy afa my social life last few years but no more...

Lord_Augastus · 2019-06-14T01:01:43+00:00

As an almost 30 guy, i say older guys shouldnt have anxiety. Wisdom and expirience alone makes you/us? (its wierd idealising my age....) ahead of the younger studs. They may look and act, but the true confidence and power you have as an older man is somethinf they dont have. The money, the patience and comfort. The expirience of how to make conversation and emotional behavoral control. Be confident, use what you know, just because your 40 doesnt mean you tap out. You tap out when youre 60 now. Do what needs to be done, get in shape, eat right, dress for sucess, fascionable, but not tasteful own your age, but dont look like your trying to hard. And just go for it, strike up casual conversation, be honest and upfort somewhere in there and you will be surprised how many women go for that. Remember girls mature faster, there is a lot fo inepririence out there with the young bucks.

AntisocialAddie · 2019-06-14T07:16:53+00:00

I’ve always had a thing for older guys no matter their looks. But because of the age difference there are a bit of precautionary turn offs - for example, as soon as they start acting creepy (basically not casual and acting out of the norm) is a big red flag. So my advice to you would be to try and hide any kind of nerves you have and destress as much as possible before you approach somebody. This will also just make the conversation flow easier. It’ll get better with practice so I wish you luck!

traveler0727 · 2019-06-13T19:36:24+00:00

My experience, women are attracted to men when they are happy and perfectly fine being single. After my last girlfriend, who lived in Mexico, I realized that any real and lasting relationship is hard to find, so we have to choose between playing the selfish bad guy role and smashing all the women that are insecure, recently divorced, and needy enough to screw anything with the hope of gaining security. Or patiently waiting for a real women who is established, secure, and attractive that you can share the rest of your life with.

6WMD9 · 2019-06-13T23:04:55+00:00

I'm in 30s mostly here to help my young peers lol

Title	Any older guys here? 30's or 40's
Author	theawakenedwarrior
Upvotes	59
Comments	87
Date	June 13, 2019 12:41 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c05c5h/any_older_guys_here_30s_or_40s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/any-older-guys-here-30s-or-40s.1471282 https://theredarchive.com/post/1471282

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