Dating does not work black/ethnic men in the U.S.

8i-piem · 2024-01-17T20:06:25+00:00

Seduction is about a lot more than just being ripped. Your game/social skills are much more important. Also, some people just prefer chubby/fat girls.

While data confirms that white dudes and Asian chicks have it the easiest in (online) dating, that doesn't mean you just should just throw in the towel. That's such a weak mindset, and women notice that too. I've seen plenty of poc men date beautiful women.

PrinceDestin · 2024-01-17T19:54:04+00:00

That’s cuz them dudes can’t pull any better, or haven’t put themselves out there to get em, me as a short black guy with dreads get em in all shapes and sizes just gotta talk to enough of them,

I’ve seen white guys get the short end of the stick here because, what I’ve noticed as a black man we are fetishized so rather than personality girls like us for our looks, at face value

But trust me no shortage of hotties wanting black men here in Florida or maybe that’s just cuz I got dreads 😂

connor42 · 2024-01-17T20:23:12+00:00

I see rappers fucking and dating overweight women often and they 100% could be fucking slim white women if they wanted

Some bro’s just do want more cushion for the pushin, and I can respect it

m4tchb0x · 2024-01-17T20:50:36+00:00

Verdict is in... OP lacks game.

KingOnixTheThird · 2024-01-17T20:12:38+00:00

I agree, if you're a 6 ft tall white man who's reasonably good looking, you face the least amount of discrimination in the dating market.

However I do know plenty of black guys who have wives and girlfriends. The difference is that these men are either good looking or they have positive qualities about themselves that women like. I know this black guy who's outgoing and reasonably attractive and he never had any problems with girls. I also know this (not so good looking) black guy who has a wife, although his wife isn't too attractive to be honest.

So if you're unable to get girls, chances are that you being black isn't the only reason. In fact, it probably isn't the biggest reason. Maybe you're just ugly, or your social skills suck, or you're autistic.

DapperCadaver2021 · 2024-01-17T20:26:52+00:00

I'm an Arab guy. 22M. 6'2 average/athletic build. Generally seen as a 7 or 8. Definitely haven't had problems where I am in North NJ. With access to NYC, Philly, etc. I've been with almost all types of girls. My experience has been fine. Even to the extent that I get pretty good treatment when I'm around in my day to day life

ReportBig2296 · 2024-01-17T22:56:21+00:00

Colorism does exist in America. Unless you’re an aspiring athlete or artist, Blacks will be negatively stereotyped from what I hear from my Black brothers. It also depends on the shade of your skin color. The light-skin brothers seem to be doing fine in metropolitan areas.

Halepastry · 2024-01-17T20:50:23+00:00

You’re right in many things that the market is unfavourable for black/ethnic guys but what you’ve described here is far from the truth.

I was in LA (apparently the toughest dating market) recently for two nights and pulled within a couple hours of being outside and brought her back to my place. Could have had more if I wanted so it’s definitely not cos those guys are black. Could just be that’s what they into or they just simply settle or can’t pull.

Attractive dudes still have it tough, tougher for black/ethnic dudes. It’s still tough for me on many occasions but there’s still lots to go around that the market is not done.

From a Black guy in Toronto (probably second hardest dating market) and I still bag a few steady.

FreeTheMarket · 2024-01-17T21:56:46+00:00

When it comes to white women-

As a fairly attractive half Indian / half black dude with a good job, nice clothes, in good shape, but mid game, I can pull 6-7s* all day in NYC (where I currently live) who are often upper middle class. In the south (where I grew up), forget about it; I can hardly pull the snaggle toothed meth whore at your local 7-11.

My theory is that it’s much more socially acceptable to be seen with a black man regardless of your class in NYC, whereas a woman would lose a ton of social capital if in smaller rural towns in the south.

If I upped my skills/game I could probably do better in the south but I’d be doing better accross the board.

*Edit: for context, a 6 or 7 in NYC is an 8-9 in your middle income small/medium southern town.

velvetaloca · 2024-01-18T01:09:42+00:00

Are you sure they really don't want these women? I'm an obese white woman. I work in public transportation. In my 13+ years there, 95% of all people who have hit on me (and we ALL get hit on with this job, numerous times), are black men. Hell, I'm even a very obvious lesbian. I'm fairly masculine, yet here come all the black guys, hitting on me like I'm the hottest commodity, ever. I kind of think many of them are into larger women.

lemonyprepper · 2024-01-17T21:18:31+00:00

Here’s what my experience is. I’m 5’11” black, in decent shape (bulking right now so carrying extra fat at 202 lbs) and I would call myself no lower than a 7 but no higher than a 9.

Black men primarily have success when they are stereotypical. I don’t dress like other black people, I don’t have a bunch of tattoos or twists I don’t wear expensive sneakers and jewelry. So I am a TV network black guy. Think Dulee Hill in Suits. Because black is not the beauty standard you need to have an edge factor which is why girls of all races will get with stereotypes.

Now when it comes to me vs other races, they have the advantage by far. A lanky white dude with no muscle definition, a pudge belly and thinning hair will pull twice as many girls as me. They don’t even have to have personality. I overhear their conversations and it is TRASH and the girls will still be fully engaged.

I always use the Malika Andrews example. Google Malika Andrews ex. She is ULTRA fine and he is ultra plain but JBW is law.

King Richez speaks on this a lot

Agent_Buckshot · 2024-01-17T21:10:59+00:00

Always thought the ones dating fat white chicks were FOB's tryna get a green card.

One_Poem3166 · 2024-01-17T21:47:45+00:00

me as a light skin black man wit a low cut, i get bitches so idk what to tell you. my advice is get in shape, learn to dress, get a haircut , and practice talkin to women

HistorianLocal5473 · 2024-01-18T00:01:18+00:00

Work on yourself bro, stop blaming you’re race. I’m black and I hate when other black people use this victim mentality, dog our women and try to speak as if they speak for all of us. There are beautiful black women all over the states I can guarantee you that, there are women of other races white, Asians who have no issue dating outside of their race. You are literally drowning in options and still chose to make this false narrative ass post as if every black man has the same experience in the dating pool. Maybe the problem is you brother, body isn’t everything work on your mind as well.

AlwaysFiveOclock · 2024-01-17T22:26:03+00:00

Frankly, my own experience is there isn't much to recommend Western women regardless of color.

ineed1billiondollars · 2024-01-17T22:35:22+00:00

23M, black, kissless virgin here. I didn't read your post but you are wrong.

Banhammer40000 · 2024-01-18T01:34:15+00:00

As an Asian man, I have bedded many beautiful women of all shapes and colors. It’s not about race and stop going over to passport bros subreddit.

What you’re forgetting I think, is that every single person has their own agencies, interests, likes and dislikes.

Seduction essentially is a play in power dynamics between two people. The fun part is finding out their individualities with such her pushes and pulls. A silver tongue is helpful of course because once you capture their minds, it’s easy to capture their hearts. Every lock has a right set of combination or a key to open it. The right words can do the same.

Seduction isn’t just about chasing what you want (though ideally they should be chasing you) in a bedroom partner. We seduce our business partners, too. Police to try to get out of tickets, waiters to get better service. Chasing tail is just a small slice of a large pie that is the power dynamics within which one must navigate on a daily basis.

But “getting the girl” shouldn’t be the goal, or the end. When you ride off into the sunset, that’s when the real work begins, of building a relationship. That’s not what this subreddit is about though.

A point of fact: I’m not trying to shame anyone whose goal is “getting the girl” or all the girls or whatever. Knowing what you want is crucial in how you cater approach, keep interest, etc. but you should set your goals higher than just glandular pursuits, just saying.

knetwotheeeee · 2024-01-18T02:00:56+00:00

WRONG WRONG WRONG WEONG WRONG WEONG bro dm me I’d love to help you. I’m Indian.

DaygameCode · 2024-01-18T02:29:05+00:00

Remember kids, if you fail at something, it’s someone else’s fault or the fault of external factors. Never look at yourself, you are perfect and completely flawless the way you are. This is the secret towards feeling good about yourself despite your failures. Blame everyone or everything else, except yourself.

Don’t let anybody tell you that you are not a victim, because you are

neversleeps212 · 2024-01-18T02:40:25+00:00

Bro buys into the negative stereotypes about black women but then complains that women of other races won’t give him a shot which is likely mostly due to buying into negative stereotypes about black men…

videogames_ · 2024-01-18T05:02:17+00:00

You just have to lean into the niche. A lot of women don’t like black men but the women that like black men really like black men. Same for other races of men that aren’t white. Travel to get laid if you want but you still need to be competitive. It just maybe adds a point or two.

BostonHusky24 · 2024-01-19T19:46:01+00:00

This is 100% true. America doesn’t have any latino heroes in film industry and most Asians and Indians are stereotyped as geeky and unattractive in movies and media. Also the superiority complex with Europe exists and thus we see a broken society and broken dating pattern.

This is aggravated by Asia becoming communist and ending their own culture leading their brain susceptible to American culture movies etc and thus.. they prefer whites and dislike anyone darker than them.

fantasybookfanyn · 2024-01-17T21:58:26+00:00

Good-looking white guys don't have it much better, I've seen it with my friends. They just have different problems. Young, non-zaftig, white women don't want to settle down before they've had their fun, and often they make a conscious decision not to date for an actual relationship until they are at least 25 and often not until they are 30. They throw away chances with decent guys who would give them the world. Those guys in turn (if they had their heart broken that badly) decide to be the villains and bad boy players and fuck over other women who are trying to live the same life. When both decide to settle down, they are jaded and looking for someone to "settle" with often leading to unhappy relationships. We have created an ouroboros that unfortunately won't have its cycle broken until we as a country change in our morals and culture. But all this to say that white guys often have better chances with zaftig women than otherwise, and are also well-advised to import their brides

letsgetwizzyy · 2024-01-18T02:41:23+00:00

I'm black, gorgeous, and built like a Greek god. The reason these dudes are unsuccessful with women is not because of their appearance. It's primarily because of an incongruence with who he appears to be (a good looking, ripped black guy) who normally doesn't posess the adequate social skills that someone who looks like him has.

So, while being jacked and ripped help (i'm jacked and ripped so I can talk about this), all it does is help men get their foot in the door more easily. It only helps them get laid if the girl is particularly horny, and you are her physical type.

You can be ripped and jacked, but you still have to have the ability to stimulate a woman's emotions and have solid game to even go on a date with them. This is why jacked black guys aren't getting with attractive white girls. If you guys think that being jacked and muscular on its own can get you women then you do not understand female nature. Women need emotional stimulation, they aren't like guys and will sleep with anything that will move (most of the time, anyways)

Many guys face this problem when they get jacked and attractive after optimizing their looks. They don't have the congruent social skills, adequate game, or understanding of female nature that most of their peers developed in adolescence, which leaves guys like you blaming it on their race.

Truth it, white women love black guys. They fetishize the crap out of them when they are ripped and jacked and attractive. It's their fault they don't have the skills to pull attractive women:

This article goes into detail about why jacked and attractive guys struggle with women:

https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/why-good-looking-men-struggle-with?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web

KingTrey7 · 2024-01-18T01:22:06+00:00

You actually couldn’t be more wrong in almost literally every part of this post. It’s never been easier than it is now to pull ANY kind of woman as a Black man. You simply are too insecure and have no game or lack the effort. Being from the midwest I could almost say that being up here makes a noticeable difference, but it doesn’t.

Since I’ve been in college I haven’t had any problems attracting or dating attractive women of any race from different places in the US. I know multiple other Black men who share that same experience. Overweight women have only been seen on some guys’ arms because they wanted them there, not because they couldn’t do better. Also, the fact that you subscribe to all the Black women stereotypes honestly just tells me that you’re not masculine enough and perceived as too weak; if you’ve even really tried to be with Black women.

Stop crying about not having success and take some action to make some success for yourself. If you’re not taking steps to improve yourself you shouldn’t be crying about women not choosing you. Why would any attractive woman want to date someone with a quitter/loser mentality like the one you have right now. Get to work

VeterinarianOne8609 · 2024-06-30T00:25:24+00:00

The thing is, there are things that automatically rule you out if you're black. Height is the main thing, you can get away with being a little below average if you're tall.

BW2Dat · 2024-01-17T22:04:43+00:00

Girls usually go for the kind of guy that has the desirable traits of a father or the polar opposite. If she has respect for her father she'll lean more towards similar traits. If she doesn't it's polar opposite. I'm 5'7 black, and dark skin tone. I am attractive physically so take that for what it's worth. I've dated just about every culture you can think of, which is where I gained this perspective. I once though like OP but my mindset was all wrong. If you're new to seduction or find yourself in this mindset I'll give this advice. 1. Our brains are very powerful and what you believe you'll find evidence to prove exactly that. So whatever insecurities you have if you believe that's what's holding you back then it is. Oftentimes we take rejection personally when in reality it rarely has anything to do us. 2. Game the girls that are checking you out. Girls are more subtle but if you learn how to spot thier ioi's and only game the ones that are into you your results will improve. I noticed a massive shift in numbers when I developed this skill. 3. It's a numbers game, keep swinging and tightening up your game and you'll have more girls than you want to deal with.

HeadLandscape · 2024-01-18T02:42:02+00:00

Canada's not any better, no one likes asian guys here

Jeffcapalottt · 2024-01-17T19:54:08+00:00

I think this might have to do with the fact that some BM just like fat women. Cause I’m not super attractive and I’ve never dated a fat woman

campskills21 · 2024-01-18T02:31:34+00:00

That ripped black guy yesterday was having a moment, he admitted just overweight and he prob gets with okay looking fit chicks. I do think his wanting to be a passport bro is still a rational chose.

Dating for anyone can work. I think Denzel if he wasn't famous would kill it with getting with many attractive american women or Michael B Jordan. 10-20x more attractive girls than average guy.

Colombia doesn't have the hottest women per capita, most all don't look sexually desirable like it's advertised. They just aren't overweight like most American girls.

White guys that are tall with a nice body and look masculine have it easier with pulling girls. A 5'8" standard looking white guy will get casual action from a cute girl barely ever, and no amount of success will overcome you not being a handsome man.

Forsaken-Junket7631 · 2024-01-17T23:30:51+00:00

Wanting to date the “most feminine woman you can” is also a loser attitude.

appmanga · 2024-01-17T22:42:18+00:00

The issue with black American women however is that over half of them are overweight or obese. Not to mention the other factors that leaves them undesirable such as the ratchet/ghetto behavior and masculine traits. Taking all of this in account, this leaves black American men with a very limited dating pool.

Maybe non-black women think the muscular black guy has the propensity to become a violent thugs? Dumb shit happens when people get stereotyped.

Good luck as a sex tourist.

habbo311 · 2024-01-18T03:55:22+00:00

Yep. America is a hateful place. Grab your passport and fly somewhere favorable to your demographic and never look back

Far_Cheetah7006 · 2024-01-17T21:10:19+00:00

I live in canada so maybe its a bit different but im a short black guy with dreads and i got some muscle n i do prefer good with the ladys

Warus157 · 2024-01-18T02:41:14+00:00

I don’t know my dude. Maybe reconsider your current mindset; it sound like it’s holding you back. Although i do acknowledge the passport bro movement and the race statistics. Keep in mind that many of them eventually end up divorcing them in the end. And yes reality is cruel, but that shouldn’t be the reason why you should give-up. In other words, no excuses my dude, just results. Keep trying my dude.

Source: My mom used to work at a family law firm in Southern California (if i recall 2013-2017, so not long before the passport bro movement became a think, but consider this as a foreshadow of what’s gonna happen later in the future) and would not shut up about how she’s a dealing with a bunch of white dudes divorcing their wives from south-east Asia for being “boring.” As stupid as it sounds, that is what’s actually been happening behind closed doors. Keep in mind that the info I’m giving you is confidential and this is info that only paralegals and lawyers will know.

Longjumping_Act9758 · 2024-01-18T04:06:18+00:00

This is the wrong thread to post this.

Mundane-Currency5088 · 2024-01-18T14:06:30+00:00

"Over half of them are obese"...um yeah. That's how statistics work. They take the size of everyone and create a scale with the average size people in the middle. Half are bigger and half are smaller than average lol

JackSquirts · 2024-01-18T19:12:31+00:00

If you're having trouble and you're good looking and ripped, something is very off with your personality and/or lifestyle.

InformalShow4339 · 2024-01-19T13:27:25+00:00

Hottest white girls I know are snow bunnies.

Visible-Ad8105 · 2024-01-20T10:41:04+00:00

Tyronelite+ or bust as a black man in the west

Title	Dating does not work black/ethnic men in the U.S.
Author	FitLifestyles
Upvotes	7
Comments	73
Date	January 17, 2024 7:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1995k5t/dating_does_not_work_blackethnic_men_in_the_us/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dating-does-not-work-blackethnic-men-in-the-us.1428602 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428602

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