I tried being an asshole (mildly). it worked and it's pissing me off

LeaderOfWolves · 2022-07-05T15:46:10+00:00

I see what you did there Mr. Vague mildly asshole dude who leaves POSTS open ended XD

videogames_ · 2022-07-05T17:40:55+00:00

That's the nature of women. The moment you start being too nice they will ghost and flake.

losingweight16 · 2022-07-05T08:48:40+00:00

What do you exactly mean by being an asshole? Can you elaborate please

creamyturtle · 2022-07-05T16:54:49+00:00

I would date hot girls and as soon as Im nice to them they split. its retarded

ozzzy83 · 2022-07-05T17:31:52+00:00

Actually, I tried the same thing with one girl 10 years ago. When I acted nice and was funny, she was ofc just nice and neutral. But then I was kinda pissed off, because back then I didn't know what I learned later, and I was just writing how all of them are just attracted to assholes and bad boys when we discussed those things, and I was kinda cruel to her, so I've noticed big shift aka transformation in her behavior, the worse I've been, and crueler, she was treating me better, even held a personal message for me and everyone else to see, that is how powerful it was. And the moment I started being the old me, the magic disappeared.

But back then I didn't know that you can be a good guy, but learn good personality traits from bad boys, even tho I always knew that they like jerks and bad boys. So yeah, everything is better than a neutral nice guy, with no balls, when it comes to girls and their reactions. The good thing is, even if you were a pussy before, and you suddenly change things and improve drastically, they will suddenly become attracted to you, so yeah, it is never too late if you fucked up, cause if they notice a big positive change in you, they will be attracted.

I witnessed nerdy girls being bad at school because of bad boys, and how powerful those traits are. So yeah, the key is to pick up good things from bad boys and be a good guy. This will be the ultimate combination.

eszibit · 2022-07-05T08:49:27+00:00

My take is that most women get their attraction signals from their father, so they want someone like that. Most guys 30+ years ago were assholes, guys that would beat their kids and stuff like that, so that's what a lot of them are attracted to subconsciously.

That's why girls with daddy issues go for stripping or outlaws.

Anyway, if you want to be genuine and goofy find someone that had a good childhood, i don't they are many but they are still out there and she will love you like no other.
On the other hand, if you just want to bang..go ahead and be an asshole

mrrooftops · 2022-07-05T17:06:47+00:00

They respond to this because they don't feel cornered into an outcome by the guy. They can take it or leave it, it's totally down to the girls to volunteer themselves.

WorthTadpole8305 · 2022-07-05T09:25:25+00:00

What do you mean by an asshole?

may-begin-now · 2022-07-05T08:50:36+00:00

That is the nature of the beast.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-07-06T01:47:25+00:00

Women are looking for a man, not a goofy boy. Its great to be genuine but you have to work on yourself and be a better version of you. Men who leave things open show they have standards and don't just fall in love at the beginning of the date. Men who aren't too goofy show they take life seriously. Men who have a dark side rather than being all nice can be relied upon to fight for success and not be too afraid of conflict.

Still_Falls_The_Rain · 2022-07-05T08:48:42+00:00

There's a reason why they call it the dating game. You'll eventually be able to open up more, but in the beginning stages women respond best to a man that doesn't spill the beans.

They need to chase something after all. Women have so many options that you're going to need to standout and be interesting.

Some also respond best to the asshole thing because they grew up in an abusive household and that turns out to be their love language. Some reject it entirely. Daddy issues are weird.

Feel it out, every girl is different so don't be surprised if this strategy doesn't work on everyone. Early on you can't really make mistakes either, so it comes down to percentages. Whatever works best I guess.

paddywacknack · 2022-07-05T18:39:42+00:00

Are you being an asshole or are you just no longer being a pushover?

A lot of guys are so use to people pleasing that any sort of self priority feels like being an asshole.

Neo-Rio · 2022-07-06T02:09:20+00:00

Got to be careful saying that you need to be an "asshole" to women.
People may assume that you mean that you're deliberately being rude to them and I wouldn't recommend that.

If you come off as a one track minded guy - on the other hand - who doesn't care about the outcome - this is perhaps a better definition. You show in your actions that you are deliberately going push back on the prevailing social "wisdom" of being a "nice guy" by instead showing her that you'd fuck her and all her friends and not care about it one way or the other afterwards.

Granny_Killa · 2022-07-06T12:22:54+00:00

I tried this once. I went to the same club I normally had zero luck at every week. This time, I found a 'frat boy' type cap on the floor of the club and decided to adopt a douchebag frat boy persona for the night. I put on that cap and turned into Fred Durst or some shit like that.

I almost got kicked out due to some of the shit I was saying.. but the girls were loving it. I got near blackout drunk, but I remember 2 girls hanging off me at one point there. But yet... it wasn't me, I was just being a deliberately belligerent idiot.

I have no idea what the moral of this story is, unfortunately.

Zhai · 2022-07-05T16:18:48+00:00

What do you call "being an asshole"? If you are just sassing her behavior or pick on wording she used, that's just being playful and challenging. That makes you exciting to them, as long as you are able to also laugh at your own mistakes.

iclap2fap · 2022-07-05T17:48:27+00:00

Just tell them what to do. Lol lead everything

Salger12 · 2022-07-05T21:07:19+00:00

Im really trying to be detached when dating now. First time I felt like I was hitting it off with someone, I shared my feelings over something that happened and she bailed fast. Went from 100 to 0 in about 3 texts.

montanalombardy · 2022-07-06T08:39:44+00:00

My theory is that, highest levels of confidence just appear as being an asshole.

That's because, we modern men were trained to be exceptionally nice and to see all forms of self centeredness as being an asshole.

But if you have extreme confidence, you almost always come off as sort of self centered. But also that same extreme self assuredness is what attracts women.

Girls obviously don't want immoral dudes, they want the kind of dude who is so self assured he sort of stopped caring about others.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-07-05T09:25:27+00:00

Girls are probably gonna like you for who you are but it's the reality. you can hate it, you can wish that it wasn't true but you can't do anything about it so just embrace that and accept that it's the easiest and most useful way. Girls are attracted to status if you convey that you have the status they gonna be attracted to you, that's pretty much it but btw you don't have to be all over the top. If you're just pushing her away and giving her hard times sometimes like being honest even if you know that she's probably gonna be offended, tease her playfully, disqualifying her you're as high value as if you were an asshole all the time

plutonianginger · 2022-07-06T03:54:45+00:00

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Ratfus · 2022-07-06T02:58:37+00:00

I'm just starting to talk to women I meet in public to get comfortable with the idea cold-approaching. I don't think women necessarily like "assholes" per-se. I think they like people that are polar - "you either love me or hate me." They either want a Trump or a Biden, not some independent. Instead of saying "I don't have an opinion on abc" they want someone to say "I Love [or] Hate abc." You either want them to love or hate you, not be some lukewarm friend.

The book I'm reading also suggest this is the case. The caveat I'll give is that I'm 35 and never been in a relationship, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-05T10:48:02+00:00

I'm sure your dates are also thinking "gosh, I hate shaving my legs and pussy, putting on make up, doing my hair, slipping into a dress a size too small and spending 2 hours in high heels just to get some guy interested in me. Can't we just skip to the part where I've put on 20lbs and walk around in sweatpants all the time".

pablodiablo906 · 2022-07-06T05:53:16+00:00

Look man folks appreciate things they have to work for. Men and women both. You don’t have to be an ass hole. You’re just not chasing and leaving things open ended. If you’re your goofy self and also leave things open ended it should have even more success. The key is to genuinely get to know people without idealizing folks and taking the time to get to know the real them. Infatuation with the idea or fantasy of someone is a turn off for both sexes.

Title	I tried being an asshole (mildly). it worked and it's pissing me off
Author	johnprynsky
Upvotes	185
Comments	68
Date	July 5, 2022 8:38 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vrt7om/i_tried_being_an_asshole_mildly_it_worked_and_its/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-tried-being-an-asshole-mildly-it-worked-and-its.1255293 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255293

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