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[–]toothfairyelf 245 points246 points247 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You should be honest about your intentions with her. If you have an interest in her, make sure that she knows that you acted out of respect for her. If you don’t have an interest in her, pretend like it never happened and move on with your life.
[–]Blackmagician 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, he navigated it correctly so far. The situation always varies in terms of intoxication and consent but the girl passing out in the bed makes me think he definitely made the right move not having sex with her.
Even if she’s embarrassed if she likes him she’ll give it another go if he pursues.
[–]notLOL 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you don’t have an interest in her, pretend like it never happened and move on with your life.
Hardly bring it up. If she feels like you'll bring it up to people it might make her defensive.
[–]playing_VScode 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kinda what I had in my mind. But we'll let time decide.
[–]boxmail2800 279 points280 points281 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
You did the right thing. Approach her when sober..
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]super-bird 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She could have been blacked out, some water isn’t gonna sober her up instantly. What you’re suggesting is taking advantage of a drunk chick. That’s not fair game at all.
[–]Blackmagician 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re going to get some dude locked up. I say this as someone who doesn’t subscribe to the “you can’t give consent if you’ve had one drop of alcohol” ideology.
Some of these dudes can barely tell when women are interested in them, much less be able to ascertain how drunk someone is. People hookup all the time when drunk contrary to what they teach on college campuses but the truth is we’re not human breathalyzers so you do have to approach the situation with caution.
The girl passing out in his bed makes me believe she was too drunk. If you’re drunk enough that not being physically active puts you to sleep that’s not a risk you should be taking. Both morally and legally it’s a gray area that can go either way, so why take the chance?
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes.
[–]boxmail2800 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So far off base. Yuck. That’s a hard pass.
[–]theosamabahama 277 points278 points279 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Alcohol losses our inhibitions but it doesn't create desires that weren't there. If she was asking to fuck while drunk, she already wanted to fuck you before. So maybe she is still interested.
Next time you see her, make casual conversation. Don't be awkward, don't bring up what happened and just talk normal. Then ask her if she wants to share a drink at your place.
[–]playing_VScode 99 points100 points101 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This could be a thing
[–]theosamabahama 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good luck, man.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]playing_VScode 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
We hardly talked about that, just the starting of the conversation. Everything else went great.
[–]SigmundFreud 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What did she say after you did the move?
[–]breakfastburrito24 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Probably a good thing you didn't sleep with her while she was drunk. Ask her to hang out some time
[–]macroxela 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Alcohol losses our inhibitions but it doesn't create desires that weren't there.
Unless you have beer goggles. But your statement is generally true.
[–]NebFrmIA 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My only experience with beer goggles was post prom at my highschool where after putting them on I confidently slammed my knee into the bleachers.
[–]macroxela 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've had quite a few experiences with beer goggles and fortunately every time I've thought "I'm drunk. Wait til you're sober and decide then". Has saved me from regret multiple times.
[–]revente 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ask her if she wants to share a drink at your place.
I wouldn't start at OP's place tho. Do something in the neighborhood first. Have a walk, visit some local bar etc.
Even if she's down to fuck, OP is inexperienced and probably should start with a slower pace.
[–]SEJ1970 73 points74 points75 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Think I read about two comments telling you that you should have had sex with the drunken girl... 😩 DON'T listen to them... A drunk person can't really give consent to have sex... Too many cases out there with guys ending up on a rape charge because the girl was drunk and didn't remember the encounter... 🤔
[–]BalancedLif3 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is exactly what i wrote in my response then i read yours.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The first part is a paradox that can be argued for days on end.
The second part is true. She can ruin your life.
[–]Snoo-20788 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is nonsense. A girl knocking at your door asking to have sex is consenting.
[–]Lust9897 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Duuuuude! Total bro moment right there. You handled it swimmingly. Congrats! Just be yourself around her... she obviously likes you.
[–]playing_VScode 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She kinda did!
[–]francescoli 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Call over to her apartment ,the next evening you are free.
Tell her she has nothing to be embarrassed about and that you would like to take her out sometime.
It's that straight forward.
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think you did the right thing in this circumstance. She was drunk. You don't have sex with people when they are drunk.
I can't really type anything else on a forum like this. Yes, there are women who will only have sex while drunk, and that drunk sex isn't really fun anyway (I tried it when I was drunk, partner was not. It was not good!).
Trust me... your life is better without the drama.
I'm sure you had your experiences.
[–]TaskCurrent 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When you see her next, you should be upfront about what you did that night.
Tell her that because she was drunk you felt it was not right to engage in sexual activity with her despite her asking. And all you did was tuck her in bed.
If you're interested, then it's now your time to tell when she's sober.
It was hardly part of the conversation. We just cleared the thought and try to give this a shot.
[–]QuelaansBlade 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Regardless of this experience if she likes you it should be obvious after you make your intentions clear. If she was just drunk and horny then thats that. Dont read too deep into it make a pass and if it fails move on
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You always want to immediately remove yourself from any situation where a girl is drunk and is offering sex and you’re sober. Your freedom is on the line in those situations. If she does that again, don’t fucking “tuck her in” at your place. Help guide her back to her place and go back home.
[–]Alecstocker 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Man you're a good dude. I have younger sisters and I would be proud to have someone like you date them. You didn't take advantage of a hot willing female and that certainly is rare in this day and age. As for how to act. She's prob embarrassed and should be. Just act like it never happened. Be friendly and nice. Don't bring it up unless she does. And just act like it was nothing. Just say oh don't worry about it.
[–]Remarkable-Cat1337 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
get drunk, go to her apartment and ask for a kiss and fuck session
[–]AdriaN_46 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
OP, kindly keep us updated !! 😅 What happened?
I went on a date with her.
[–]legohead0099 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro, well done.!!!! Thats all im gna say!
You did the right thing my dude. You were respectful and also safe as in this could’ve been a rape charge if you went ahead since she’s drunk and impaired and not in the right frame of mind to consent
[–]MrBlack__ 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So. You did the right thing because sex with a drunk girl can be on the line of non consensual… HOWEVER, the side they don’t show is that SOMETIMES women want to have sex but don’t want accountability of initiating so they get drunk so someone can… in a nutshell… take advantage of them.
Sounds ridiculous but I’ve done the same thing a few times only to be met with at worst resentment and or asking if I’m gay… or they think I’m not attracted to them and see it as a rejection. I’ve never tucked a girl in that’s been in my room and had sex with them later… never.
Never has a woman said “oh thank you for not taking advantage of me… let’s do it again but not get so drunk” the polite ones say thanks then fuck someone drunk next week
… you did the right thing lol
[–]MoOsT1cK 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations.
You respected her. You did not took a chance to loose your virginity with a girl you weren't sure would have been willing to have sex with you if she would have been sober. That's remarkable in terms of personal ethics. thumbs up ! Now that she's sober, she may be a bit embarassed but she would'nt have asked you for sex if she had'nt been intersted in you in the first place. So if you manage to have a talk with her and ease her embarassment, she may does'nt quite remember what happened and will feel relieved to know that you did'nt take advantage of the situation... that may build confidence to try again one more time with the consentment of both -if you're into her of course !
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good job op everyone is proud of you for tucking her in like a real man
[–]marianoktm 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You did the right thing. She was not sober and she couldn't give you consent because of that.
You're a 22yo Virgin, but you're a real Man.
But you can use this episode to approach her when sober. Try to invite her to your place, maybe joking like "but this time come sober", and joke around about what happened that night. If she gives you hints that she's willing to do that "kiss and fuck" even when sober, then escalate.
If the situation gets awkward, just steer the conversation away and do something fun together. Cooking a new, hard and delicious dish is a great one.
[–]cronasminate 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ignore everything as if it never happened. Engage her in a positive way them bring it up and say what happened, ask more out of concern. Say you’ve had friends who did something similar because they are going through things and let her know that you are here if she needs anyone.
Don’t be fake. Don’t be typical. This seems like her way of reaching out for something, albeit dysfunctional. Some girls just never learned how to get emotional support without sex because they were sexually abused growing up.
You already decided that you didn’t want to take advantage of her. Every guy will try to use this to find a way to lay her. Be different. Your virginity means nothing. Just be a better person. That being said, if something happens, it happens. Don’t gf her because this is sign of deep emotional issues. But still try to be the guy who actually tries to help her, be open to “other” things if she initiates it and but have your own boundaries.
[–]kiddinme30 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
While I agree with the sentiment, boohooo. We all go through things, and once you reach adulthood you can take responsibility for your own decisions and actions. It’s not hard to realize that there doesn’t need to be a penis in you to get some support or help, and that the ones willing to fuck you while drunk aren’t there to give it.
Op has nothing to earn from being her emotional support, literally. No need to help her, but if he wants, he can tell her that she should help herself and not put herself in such situations.
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You dodged a bullet. Drunk sluts are not worth it in this day and age. Maybe she has a thing for you but she also got a thing for the six other dudes she's rawdogging. Reggie, Jamaal, Tyruss, Chad and the gang, they live upstairs... you'll be hearing all about them soon enough. Your kids might even share some features by a strange coincidence...
You're the only one that never took advantage of her but don't go saving hoes. It's now a reminder of the time you were the man, took pity on a damaged woman and did the right thing. Seek better, classier women and avoid this scenario in the future.
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha the Fuckboy version of the Avengers lives upstairs on floor 6. That made me crack up.
You forgot about Tyler. He wears nothing but Champion, and has an OBJ haircut even though he’s white
[–]Thin_Protection5616 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
In short, you shouldn't.
You had a chance and basically rejected her. Now, in the backwards logic of women, she'll rationalize herself into believing you aren't shit.
Don't get me wrong, you did the smart thing (how many other dudes has she banged, probably without a condom, on a drunken whim?). But that doesn't mean you'll be rewarded for it.
[–]kaurib 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You are out of touch with reality. She wasn't tipsy- she was drunk enough that OP tucked her into bed. Any reasonable woman would appreciate the gentlemanly gesture.
[–]Thin_Protection5616 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol, sure. Sounds like she really appreciated it.
[–]Snoo-20788 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And here feminism goes out the window...
[–]el_colimofla 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
You think the first reason he did the right thing is because of her condomless body count rather than not taking advantage of her being drunk?
[–]Thin_Protection5616 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
She came over and propositioned him.
I'm not sure about you, but I tend to think that people are responsible for themselves, regardless if they are drunk or not. If some women got drunk and killed my kids in a car accident, in what world would she not be responsible? Same logic applies.
So yes, he did the right thing by not sleeping with a girl who turns into a hoe after a few drinks.
If he got her drunk for the purpose of sleeping with her, that would be a different story entirely. I'd find that sketchy af.
Once again, this sub is a place filled with white knights who barely get laid, offering advice to other white knights who barely get laid.
[–]throwawayPzaFm 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I tend to think that people are responsible for themselves, regardless if they are drunk or not
Well, then you clearly disagree with both the law and the science. I look forward to reading your revolutionary papers about inebriation.
[–]Thin_Protection5616 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So are women equal to men, in your opinion, or should they be treated like children in adult bodies who can't be held responsible for their own actions?
[–]throwawayPzaFm 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No
[–]Thin_Protection5616 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, not equal to men, or no, they're not children and are responsible for their decisions just like men are.
[–]ErnieJohn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And they said open communication on the Internet would help. 😂
[–]kiddinme30 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That sounds so harsh and bitter. Cheer up, life isn’t that serious, and not everything is so absolute
That sounds so harsh and bitter. Cheer up lol life isn’t that serious, and not everything is so absolute
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I told him he did the right thing and that he shouldn't bang a chick that tries to sleep with random dudes when she's drunk.
Too many red flags.
[–]hildegardpep 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My brother always tells me - “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts”
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re a good dude for not fucking an obviously hammered chick.
You have your shoe in the door now tho, just ask her to grab a drink sometime next time you see her or text her to set it up if you have her #.
[–]biggun1998 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Kiss and fuck” + drunk girl = rape accusations if you are in California. Even if you didn’t do anything. Watch out!
[–]Collacks 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If you are going to ask her to hangout, I’d be conscious her ego is likely quite hurt because you rejected her outward display.
Good news is you are in.
Honestly if I were in your shoes and you want to lose your virginity to her, I’d keep it simple. The next time I see her I would walk up, say hi, and apologize for the night. Then I would tell her I’m a virgin but “feeling her pussy on my dick is how I dream of losing my virginity 😉.” Something to that effect… apologize, be honest and make it dirty. You’re already in. Plus taking a dudes virginity is a massive turn on for a lot of girls.
[–]unlockwren 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Better to be safe then get me too’d with the girl who knows where you live and sees you regularly
Just be chill and friendly but not overly nice. Say that you have been drunk yourself and have made some decisions you have regretted and that nothing happened. Then try to ask her out.
[–]YoBeaverBoy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For some reason I can't stop thinking about the reactions my parents would have to such a story.
My mom would be proud above heavens, but my dad would call me the biggest idiot in the world and he'd probably wheeze because of ''purposefuly missing a great opportunity'' as he'd call it.
[–]gillmanblacklagooner 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Man… you did the right thing. You just avoided a ton of possible problems to you and your image…
[+]MrSittingBull -9 points-8 points-7 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Na fuck that she was sober enough to find his door and go into his apartment. It’s not like he was dragging her by the ankles out the nightclub. She probably got drunk for the sole purpose of getting the liquid confidence to go and ask him that shit.
[–]Suzuki56 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just because she was able to get to his door doesn't mean he should've fucked her. That's a case waiting to happen. He absolutely did the right thing. Having sex with drunk women is like the riskiest shit you can do.
[–]throwawayPzaFm 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Having sex with drunk women is like the riskiest shit you can do
on campus... and outside labs, and making an exception for anything involving electricity and water, tall things and hobos.
[–]redditgotnoobs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Explain what happened and ask her out
[+]SadBox4529 -13 points-12 points-11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol dude you should have smashed coz that’s what she’s been thinking about. I mean she was able to come all the way to your place so????
[+]Akashhi7 -13 points-12 points-11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ikr no wonder OP is a virgin
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She’ll come again. Next time smash her
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
With flowers....
Are you joking?
This sub is filled with shit tier advice.
[–]Contango6969 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Agreed. Me? I would have brought her a DVD with all the pictures from her Facebook profile scrolling to anime music. These guys don’t know how to treat a lady
[–]playing_VScode 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm virgin but def wasn't nervous.
[–]MrSittingBull 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea you better than me especially if I was a virgin. Aside from that I’d just do it the modern way and find her on Instagram. But yea, you way better than me my boy cuz I would’ve fucked and kicked her out and ate some cereal lmao.
Tbh you most likely missed your chance as she’s probably going to write it off as an embarrassing night and put you in the friend zone because you’re too “nice”. Sorry my friend, just how the game goes. Next time free pussy comes to your door don’t put it to sleep.
[–]emmyhabey 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe it's sarcasm... 😂😂
[–]playing_VScode 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Honestly, I don't think that's a good idea😥.
[–]Ou-tis -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
she is a slut,tr to escalate again. And remember you can't wife a hoe.
[+]Reasonable_Ad9646 -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This chick owes you a BJ.... MAN up
[–]Disastrous-Row434 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We'd love to hear what happened next
[–]WagerGoat 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea right move don’t risk doing it while she drunk
[–]wickedlobstah 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh. My fucking. God. Dooooooooooooood. Right thing was obviously done but damn.
[–]cyrusol 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You could know at her door and ask for a mild kiss and fuck session. Without drinking.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
U get drunk too... even the playing field
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[–]Contango6969 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]playing_VScode 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MrSittingBull 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]emmyhabey 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]playing_VScode 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ou-tis -5 points-4 points-3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Reasonable_Ad9646 -7 points-6 points-5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disastrous-Row434 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WagerGoat 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wickedlobstah 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cyrusol 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link