I can get girls to have sex with me, but not date me?

shared0 · 2022-05-25T04:31:50+00:00

This makes no sense lol. You have the opposite problem of what most guys would have lmao.

Healthyred555 · 2022-05-25T04:45:28+00:00

Hold off on sex to later not on first meet. Grab a drink or coffee and chat say you want to get to know them.

AceFiveSuited · 2022-05-25T07:00:46+00:00

It seems to me like you're mostly meeting up with girls who are only interested in casual sex. Girls that actually want relationships don't respond well to "Hey let's have sex" as the first message. You are likely filtering out the ones who want a relationship with your text game.

DeliberatelyInsane · 2022-05-25T08:32:46+00:00

Maybe all you got going for you are your looks.

hdylan99 · 2022-05-25T05:41:29+00:00

you clearly have a bit of an ego just from reading that first paragraph, and then go straight to "wanna fuck?", and then youre CONFUSED?

also what kinda relationship would you even expect from a girl thats down to fuck that easy without even knowing you as a person?

Sea_Particular_9086 · 2022-05-25T06:53:57+00:00

Could be a combination of both, also we don’t know how you come off after you have sex with these women. Could be coming off hella clingy after smashing or your sex game is bad, or potentially bad breath, or just your vibes to 🤷🏽‍♂️

ZosoWicca · 2022-05-25T10:58:37+00:00

U want a ltr with a hoe?? Oh god..

Blaphrodite · 2022-05-25T09:39:02+00:00

Are you fucking them first then asking for a relationship later?

First your approach works like it’s meant to work with the kinds of girls it’s meant to work with.

Perhaps change your approach as suggested previously.

If they are fleeing/ghosting after you’ve had sex, it only means one thing. You’re not that good in bed. Or the experience left a lot to be desired for her. If it were moderately decent sex and you look like you say you do, then this wouldn’t be a problem

succcondese · 2022-05-25T09:28:14+00:00

it must be something about your personality they don't like

videogames_ · 2022-05-25T09:38:16+00:00

On the first meet kiss only and then have sex on the second to third meetup.

Unhappy_Childhood535 · 2022-05-25T09:06:55+00:00

Boohoo lmao, worse problems to have.

Adjustedwell · 2022-05-25T05:21:51+00:00

They don't feel good enough for you and wont trust you to stay faithful to them or stay with them long term. I deal with the same shit. I don't even bother saying I'm interested in a relationship anymore.

Codi_Banks · 2022-05-25T06:33:34+00:00

They are insecure

MrWolffman · 2022-05-25T08:39:16+00:00

I have the exact same problem. I'm focusing on improving my sex game now.

kandid007000 · 2022-05-25T10:07:34+00:00

You probably look like a player having all those qualities and they already assume you are in a relationship but when you asked them holistically to be your girlfriend they think something might be wrong with you otherwise and some of them Would rather not find out that's why they ghost.. some could be for other reasons more personal on their end

Lazy-Fisherman-6881 · 2022-05-25T11:42:26+00:00

Incongruity. The tone change from that first conversation to giving them your number and expecting them to text you?

Girls that are just as interested as casual sex as most guys are want it to be casual as most guys do.

It’s like you’re using sex to get your… foot.. in the door, and then totally switching gears and being very passive.

If you want to see her again keep those energy levels constant and ask for her number because you have to see her again. Then text her.

Source: never even seen a woman

Edit: tone > time

aquilaruspante1 · 2022-05-25T11:55:02+00:00

It's the opposite problem any man has.

Here's my theory: you're above average looking and in great shape. Women sleep with guys like you but for a relationship prefer someone who's giving them "safer" and "quieter" vibes, someone more in the norm, not someone who's not gonna be desired by every woman in the neighbourhood, especially if he approaches women on socials normally and sleeps with them easily.

Snakehead004 · 2022-05-25T12:05:44+00:00

Stop listening to the nonsense on this sub. Be genuile. Don't use PUA stuff like negging or not being friends with women. Start having genuine connections with everyone in your life. It will get better..

and literally the 2nd-3rd message is me asking when and where are we smashing.

Try not saying this but instead learning about who they are, what they like, etc. Quality women aren't dumb, they can smell a player a mile away and while they'll fuck a fuck boy they don't want to date one..

George97o · 2022-05-25T04:57:45+00:00

I think you shouldn't give them your number but ask them for theirs. Girls often have these ideas that it's guys who need to chase them and they'll never text a guy first, or call him first.

yourlittleman01 · 2022-05-25T08:35:19+00:00

Well, why date when u can have sex indefinitely lul, unless you're tired of it?

jasminech · 2022-05-25T11:49:51+00:00

You say you want something genuine, then plan a proper date first instead of just trying to f*ck because you know you can

Informal_Fishing5729 · 2022-05-25T10:14:06+00:00

You may be black or from a minority I suppose?

incognito3107 · 2022-05-25T08:49:57+00:00

Remember that you need to also find proper girl for a relationship. It is not reasonable to pursue relationship just to be in a relationship, you are asking for trouble and huge waste of resources.

Get to know a girl, make deeper connection of your private lives, get intimate mentally, wait for some "life proof" that you are a well-working couple.

Commercial_Habit_923 · 2022-05-25T12:29:58+00:00

I have the opposite problem lol

oj47dG · 2022-05-25T12:46:15+00:00

Bro relationships just happen if theyre meant to be. You smash a girl and hang out with her. Don't say that you're looking to get to know her. Just get to know her. If you vibe you vibe and hang out more often. At one point she'll just live with you.

There you go that's how you get into a relationship.

revente · 2022-05-25T12:46:56+00:00

Like, am i being to forward? Am I giving myself up to easy?

No. They fucked some sexy alpha jerk. And now you send them some meek 'hey let's get to know each other' shit.

Just use some bold wording.

"Drinks thursday 9PM. Wear heels."

etc.

changthaiman · 2022-05-25T13:12:02+00:00

Stop talking about chicken and rice when you meet them

poly_nerdy_panda · 2022-05-25T13:13:54+00:00

maybe you are bad in bed? naw it happens to the best of us... sometimes women just want the validation due to Instagram (this guy thinks I'm hot) I remember i made this girl squirt buckets and i thought for sure we would be FWB at least!!! naw we only did stuff for 2 weeks and she ghosted... I made no attempts to say I wanted her as a GF.. she even saw me kiss her friend that night we hooked up and ended up with bruises lol... we hooked up 1 more time after that and then nothing... I called her nothing, I asked her did she die and nothing.. So I just gave up

Tcampbell32 · 2022-05-25T13:51:47+00:00

Maybe you be doin too much, just lay back a little bit and let them come to you. You’re stature and ego are likely blinding others from the traits that make you, you. Try to be a little more pure and genuine with your feelings and emotions. You might be a little intimidating and like you got it together, show that you’re just another pure soul with emotions to share… you might not be opening up enough to the point others feel they can completely open up to you. Open up more, but don’t hold resend if they don’t find you amazing, keep goin until someone does

Archyblackcat · 2022-05-25T14:06:38+00:00

Bro if after sex they still don’t wanna date you for real, then your sex must be average .... whenever I fuck a girl she usually becomes obsessed .... but for real like, in most of your pick ups, do you ask for sex within the first 5 exchanged messages ??? Or takes you at least a few more message exchange?

intelectualycurious · 2022-05-25T14:13:33+00:00

Let’s consider the platform and the expectations around where you’re meeting these girls.

Tinder isn’t necessarily known for being the one stop shop for where you find a wife. Nothing wrong with that, you just have to play the game the way it was intended… meaning - they want to hook up.

Give them what they want, but express your intentions. “I’m not really looking to hook up right now, but how about we xyz.”

The hard thing about this is that you’re going to have to establish some connection if you’re trying to move them into a ‘getting to know you’ phase. If there’s no mutual interest or common ground, asking to hang out doesn’t make sense.

So if you want to get to know a girl, you have to have a place to take her or an area of interest that you two can express your joy together. Kind of sounds fruity when I’m typing this, but you have to know what you want and bring the girl into your world.

Haymus · 2022-05-25T14:27:18+00:00

Sounds like you need to work on your rapport with them, I'd be interested to know if you have any form of long term relationships with this girls such as an fwb.

If the answer to the last is no, then you definitely need to cool it and focus on rapport. Sounds like you're just getting laid on looks because fuck it, rather than because you're a pleasant person

Fluid-Implement-1253 · 2022-05-26T05:04:22+00:00

I used to have this problem. Easy answer. You have a horribly shitty personality. oof, it takes years to correct

Title	I can get girls to have sex with me, but not date me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	28
Comments	43
Date	May 25, 2022 4:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ux9apb/i_can_get_girls_to_have_sex_with_me_but_not_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-can-get-girls-to-have-sex-with-me-but-not-date.1258735 https://theredarchive.com/post/1258735

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