Got rejected by more than 5 girls in a clubs, what am I doing wrong

1BannedAgain · 2022-04-01T17:42:57+00:00

5 is not numbers. This is a numbers "game". Do 100 approaches and share your victory rate

Beginning-Ad-8041 · 2022-04-01T17:54:19+00:00

Game is a numbers game, expect anywhere from 20-50 rejections before you get a pull depending on your skill level, although you will definitely get some numbers in between those which you can follow up later

If you keep consistently going over 70+ approaches to pull I would get coaching because you are doing something wrong you can’t see

My first ever bootcamp took me like 30 approaches my first day in to get any results at all despite some experience with game before, it was on hard mode b/c it was all girls from east Asia and India that weekend in Vegas and my voice was out that weekend, but it can go like that with bad streaks sometimes

Also keep in mind also that women can just be in a mood and not interested in talking even if they are attracted to you

A personal story of mine involved me approaching a girl who basically told me to get lost, a few months later I approached her by accident, and had her on all 4’s 2 hours later, I asked her about her not being interested that first time and she told me she was in a bad mood from home stuff

Edited for clarity

Calamity__Bane · 2022-04-01T17:34:08+00:00

First of all, good on you for trying, and for seeking help!

Second of all, the dancefloor is not the best spot to talk to girls in a club. The best places to talk are outside and by the bar, as both spots are quieter and will give you the opportunity to hold a conversation. The dancefloor is there for you to either a) rapidly escalate with a girl you already have with you, or b) start dancing with girls who are already on the floor. Standing and talking just doesn’t harmonize with the vibe there, so you’re quite likely to get the result you ended up with. Next time, just walk through until you see an opening/invitation, then start dancing (or just start dancing when it amuses you).

Third of all, if the girl from the bar wasn’t giving you buying signs, she definitely wasn’t interested in you and was likely just being friendly or polite. If you aren’t getting buying signs from a girl at a bar, your time is better spent elsewhere. Bars and clubs are there for you to rapidly close the yeses and maybes, not for you to spend time chasing nos. I’m hearing a lot here about your interest in her, but nothing about her interest in you.

richiedubbya · 2022-04-01T20:34:07+00:00

Building a powerful presence in a club is as important as anything. You need to be having fun before you approach these females. You should be smiling and having an amazing time from the minute you walk into the club. You have to be seen as a fun guy. Most girls won't approach a guy at a club even if they are attracted to you. The best you can hope and plan for... Is to notice the girls who already think you are attractive/interesting. Get them to be attracted to your presence before you even approach them... And half the battle is already won.

The ideal situation is to be having soooo much fun with your friends... That you begin to notice girls hovering around you. They will show subtle signs that they are checking you out and want to be opened. They will sneak peeks at you when they think you won't notice. They may check you out while sipping a drink. They may have their body facing you subconsciously. They may smile or giggle when you tell a funny joke to your group of friends... a joke they didn't even hear. They simply noticed you and everyone smiling and they instinctively smile or laugh. If you try to make eye contact with them, they may hold that eye contact for a second or two longer than normal. They may smile your direction. Take a mental note of these signs. It means they are interested but not totally sold yet. They will be the most likely to respond to your open in a nice receptive way. If you notice this kind of situation.... Do not hesitate. Immediately go to open them. Approaching girls that are already interested will decrease the number of failed opens as well.

If you don't have friends to go to the club with... Make friends with the first group of girls you see. Open the homeliest girl in the group... She will love your attention. It doesn't matter how hot they are. Talk to them. Have fun with them. Always be in some conversation... Especially with girls. Being seen talking to groups of people adds value to your persona. Talking to random guys and making new friends is better than standing at a bar by yourself watching all the fun. You must be participating in the fun. Better yet.... You must create the fun. Be the person everyone wants to hang with.

In big clubs where dancing is a priority... Most girls are at that club to have a good time with their friends. They want to dance. If they are attractive girls... They have been hit on thousands of times... And they do not want to divert attention away from fun dancing to deal with.... "Hi!" From a stranger.

Learn how to open. Hi... Is subpar... You definitely need more than just , hi! Unless... You have the world's greatest flirty body language and eye contact game. Open with something that demonstrates how high value you are. Without bragging. Subtlety is key. Open with something that separates you from every other guy in the club. Open with something that makes her want you... Without expressing direct interest in her. Most importantly... Show her through actions and conversation that you have a great life and that you aren't desperate.

Have interesting things to talk about. Being prepared to have interesting things to talk about will help avoid akward silences. Keep the conversation flowing. Girls at clubs have short attention spans and you have to prove you are interesting and fun and make it feel effortless. If you don't have interesting topics to bring up... Find some. Become more interesting. Start learning new things in life. Become an interesting, cocksure man.

Be flirty. Be funny. Be sure of yourself. Take rejection with a grain of salt and move on. Learn from every rejection and then forget it happened. If you let it linger in your mind it will ruin your confidence.

We can tell you pre scripted things to say to girls all day. That won't help in the long run. Pre scripted openers and stories will work well enough to get you over your approach anxiety. But.. long term... You have to become the interesting/ attractive man that you always wanted to be. Learn new skills. Start new interesting fun hobbies. Learn the power of making money from money you already have. High value men learn to stop selling their time in exchange for money. They create money opportunities themselves. Do something every day that scares you. Read interesting books. Read Rich dad poor dad or the 4 hour work week. Study philosophy. Study human nature/psychology. Read Ekhart Tolles "the power of now". There are many lines of his you can use in conversation. He speaks all about living in the moment and the power of truly being present in the moment. Women love a cultured, well read intelligent man.

Bottom line... Stop giving a fuck. Become the man you want to be. People and women will come to you.

Difficult_Ad_8299 · 2022-04-01T17:56:37+00:00

Body language of an oyster probably! Learn about how to convey confidence

stefchou · 2022-04-01T20:03:39+00:00

You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers!

SignalSecurity · 2022-04-01T21:46:10+00:00

I worked in a sales job recently. Door to door. Realized it was a manipulative MLM pyramid after two days and dipped. The people I shadowed were REALLY GOOD at sales though (for a pretty competetive high-demand product) and I can tell you this:

We went to around 60 houses on the 1st day. About 12 opened the door, and 3 were sales. We went to 41 houses on the 2nd day. About 11 opened the door, and only 1 was a sale.

5 people is not numbers.

Hooking up at a bar is much the same in some ways. You can do everything 'right' and not go home with someone. Some people aren't interested in you at all and you can not, will not, and should not change their minds. Some people will basically trip over themselves to go home with you and you have to learn to take 'yes' for an answer.

The majority will be a little unsure about you at first, but want you to be somebody they can like. Establish trust with someone who's willing to become interested and the rest is in your hands.

There's luck involved - anyone who tells you there isn't is arrogant. Luck that the total stranger you approached is someone you have any kind of chance with, luck that they don't willfully change their minds because of other interests or priorities. But that's the hard part, the rest is just having fun.

BillyJayJersey505 · 2022-04-01T18:46:35+00:00

Are you going alone or with friends?

reversedbydark · 2022-04-02T00:32:36+00:00

You have to go out to have a great time mindset...not to pick up girls. They'll let you know if they want to be picked up. The more you try the more chances you'll get. But try going out to have fun, you know what I mean??

RoseTinted64 · 2022-04-02T01:53:14+00:00

There is already great advice on this thread so ill try and keep this short. First off, 5 girls really isn’t a lot. Second, clubs are probably the worst places to run game, but the most rewarding because girls are usually dressed up and looking sexy. The downside is that they are well aware of this, meaning the can punch well above their weight class in this environment. If you approached the same 5 girls in another atmosphere I wouldn’t be surprised if you got at least a few numbers and maybe a date. They probably don’t view you as “out of their league”, which means it won’t be validating to them. I know you said your a 7 but everyone on reddit thinks this. Another thing I recognize in the club scene is a lot of girls who leave with guys usually knew them before hand, like in your scenario. There isn’t a lot you can do about that. I’m curious how attractive the women were that you approached. Either way, you need to approach way more and understand that women are pretty fickle when it comes to sex. Men that get laid like rockstars usually work a really high amount of volume.

Cowboylion · 2022-04-02T02:47:07+00:00

Too desperate man. If those ladies saw you trying and failing they will reject you even more.

oldparras · 2022-04-02T09:18:06+00:00

When I play the game I my goal is to approach at least 50girls a night.

If 49 of them reject me, hatters gonna say I have a 2% rate.

For me, I do this every night and always get a girl. This is 100% success.

Also, it is not only about you. If you think these 5 girls rejected you because YOU did something wrong you are being very selfish. Remember they are also people with many valid reasons not to like you or not to hook up with any guy, even if he does everything right.

BenYareem · 2022-04-01T18:53:24+00:00

It could be anything, your poster, your body language, the initial assumption that things will go wrong....

Also, Hi is the least effective opener to start a conversation.

Ben Yareem, Author Of The Last Game.

KoozeMang · 2022-04-01T19:26:44+00:00

Ya hitting on the wrong girls! Learn to read the room and shoot ya shot if they express interest. I know it's tough but with enough practice you got this!

Alert-Wishbone9032 · 2022-04-01T20:18:34+00:00

Says “hi”, waves at them to approach him. Girl says no.

Why didn’t he approach them to try and join in with their dancing?

My first thought when he ‘gestured them to come to him’ was that he was calling for a waiter, or a dog.

Crisia_1234 · 2022-04-01T17:38:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

miaou_dubois · 2022-04-01T20:52:45+00:00

I've heard Australians are really racist (I'm American but I've just heard. No offense mates). Asian, aboriginal, black, whatever, you're Indian, it's probably just racism. Haha. Sorry, but that's just my gut feeling (maybe approach women of similar descent or less white supremacists idk)

Basically if a guy is hot then we don't really care what he does, hello, gesturing to dance, that's all fine. Five is a small number especially for your first time, they could also have people they're there with, boyfriends, female friends, etc.

You also have to understand that it's pretty humiliating in the club to dance with a guy - he has to be somebody your friends will approve of, usually, or else you look kinda like a ho. For some girls, that matters. He better be super hot or somebody you're into, and he might try to get you to go here, there, hook up with him, who knows, and we also have many many men asking us, trying to rub up on us, it's not really fun to just go dance with randoms in the club. Random guys are sweaty and they just want to bang or show off to their friends. And what kind of conversation can you have with music that loud anyway?

Just look and act real classy, 1. Classy shirt, white button-up, clean-shaven, you smell *nice* (ask a girl what she thinks smell nice, i like old spice ngl), deoderant and cologne, and then go to the bar, find a girl, sit down slyly next to her, one who looks alone, or is alone from her group; that is somebody who is looking for male attention. Or, somebody who looks at you, steals a glance at you, smiling is good but mostly girls will just steal glances and not do anything - they want your attention. Get good at finding them.

Anyway, when you have the girl at the bar, the alone one sipping quietly, looking around, poking the cherry in her drink, you sit next to her, notice her reaction. Is she like, omg, that guy is so my type? *blush blush looks into drink awkwardly* or is she like, eh, this guy probably is sitting next to me cuz he likes me, sigh, he's not my type at all... That's just it, those two reactions, find a girl who reacts number one, and then just be like, "hey, that's a nice drink, is that a cranberry amaretto?" and she'll either be like "ugh *eyeroll* not my type" or like "mmm idk maybe haha it totally is what about you?? haha" you know etc

so yeah. hopefully that helps. :)

futuristicbushman · 2022-04-02T00:07:11+00:00

Stop going to the club without bitches and being surprised you’re leaving without bitches. You don’t even want a bitch that fucks that fast.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-04-01T18:13:05+00:00

Variance

iamksenia_ · 2022-04-01T20:49:54+00:00

They feel your pressure, and don’t want to continue…

Sherbopolis · 2022-04-01T22:48:38+00:00

say something that has to do with the situation. then go into a conversation, keep it light then lay it on once you think she’s comfortable

MrColfax · 2022-04-02T00:19:51+00:00

Hey man I live in Australia.

Country people aren't that use to other ethnicities. They mostly marry other people in the town and stick to Caucasians. The ones who move to the cities usually are more liberal and open.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-04-02T02:51:57+00:00

I'm in a small country town in Australia, went out clubbing, even before I made a move I got rejected by 5 girls, basically I said "Hi"

Women in a club want to dance drink and have fun not deal with formalities and the same generic conversation.

Saying hi is generic is what a a lot of guys say, so come up with something that makes them laugh with you instantly or don’t say anything at all.

And for some while dancing I gestured them to come dance with me, which was ignored.

Yeah, girls won’t do that cuz you are a nobody, you are a stranger and any girl in their right mind would not be very comfortable about that… It would be stupid for the prey to go towards the hunter when he signals her.

Think of it she knows or suspects you just want to fuck, so she ain’t gonna go that easily towards you so that you can achieve your goal.

I have a hair cut every 2 weeks, dress classy and try to have good personality.

If you have a good personality then you better show it right away… Saying “hi” doesn’t show your unique personality, so say something that only you would say, not hundred of guys.

Girls how do you decide on which gut you let to talk to you in a club environment.

Be the fun guy that everyone in the club seems to know and wants to be around.
Be the humorous guy that can easily make a girl genuinely laugh as soon as he says something.
Don’t be generic, boring, formal, when talking to girls, you are in a club and the you need to have a party persona more than a formal persona, they are not there to talk about your boring job or college classes. They are there to go crazy, dance, to make a fool of themselves for fun, and to do silly things or to enjoy jokes and evade themselves from their dull lives.
Don’t be that kind of guy who looks like his goal is just to approach any girl to get sex.

(she knew I was interested in her, her friends told her)

If a girl knows you like her not because you directly flirted with her, like you should have, but rather because someone else told her then you are fucking up…

Why?

Because, at best, it makes you look shy and insecure which is unattractive.

And, at worst, it makes you look creepy because you have hidden sexual intentions and are trying to secretly manipulate her to get your way, rather than being upfront and genuine about it.

MMLHmiltopo · 2022-04-02T04:03:59+00:00

Only thing is that you stopped at 5. Keep on trucking!!!

rahhumilovedogs · 2022-04-02T04:17:10+00:00

Lol. Burn... You need to be hotter

snarkdaddy · 2022-04-02T04:17:36+00:00

Females use pre-selection my guy. If one of her friends say no the likelihood of the entire friend group saying no is high.

And females around the club pick up on these cues and prevents you from having a chance with them.

Now let's not be doom and gloom, if you hit it off with the first chick her friends or other females may become interested solely off the initial chick being interested. It just means that your first approach is extremely valuable.

Also the 'how' is more important than the 'what' when it comes to approaches. Your confidence, bravado, and stoicism will far trump any string of words to come up with as an opener.

Highly recommend learning kinda the process aka, introducing yourself, learning names, asking where from, small witty neggs if possible, small talking points to gain information if they're here for the weekend/live here/etc (to know how to close), promote urgency that you need to be somewhere and close for either a number/IG/drink depending on the circumstances. Mystery does a great job at defining the theoretical and applying to the practical

DAOcomment2 · 2022-04-02T05:16:59+00:00

A club is a place for people to go out with their friends, get silly, cut loose, hear their favorite music, and have fun. Hookups may or may not be a finale to a wild night but are secondary. The primary goal is to have a great night first.

In a club environment, you have mostly a bunch of bored people hoping to have fun, and a few pockets of people generating all the fun. Guess who everyone wants to join? They want to join anyone who seems to be generating/having all the fun. A room full of people isn't a party until someone instigates fun. The DJ is the most visible example of an instigator. Other club-goers fulfill a similar role.

Whether you're at the club with friends or alone, you need to instigate your own party with yourself. That's how you start the party for others. When you're having fun, you'll notice people start coming up to you.

Women will start glancing at you from their bored friend groups and start maneuvering to bump into you. Dudes who were quietly dying of anxiety that night will give you props and try to befriend you, because you're inspiring them to loosen up. Weirdos and aggressive characters will engage and you'll need to get rid of them. Attractive energy isn't selective. It attracts all, for better and worse.

This seems to be the step you're missing.

Sounds like you're having a terrible night and asking people to join that. Won't work. First and foremost you have to generate a great night for yourself so people are attracted to your good vibes. If you're truly having fun, whatever that means to you, that fact will be pouring out of your eyes and body language. This is when just saying "Hi" or gesturing for someone to join you actually works.

StaticNocturne · 2022-04-02T05:25:00+00:00

Honestly Aussie girls are some of the most conceited women on the planet. I know because I've lived in a few different countries, they often have this natural snarky attitude that really fucking bugs me. Even my female friends are like that, then once you get to know them they open up, but approaching them would be tough.

Title	Got rejected by more than 5 girls in a clubs, what am I doing wrong
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	63
Comments	61
Date	April 1, 2022 5:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ttw87n/got_rejected_by_more_than_5_girls_in_a_clubs_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-rejected-by-more-than-5-girls-in-a-clubs-what.1263163 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263163

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