[deleted by user]

gl0ry66 · 2022-01-18T21:10:41+00:00

Female perspective: I think you kind of know the answer: lose weight, try to look more attractive by dressing nicely, getting a nice hair cut and having a clear skin. Also, make some (male) friends, this is very important as well.

harged6 · 2022-01-18T20:57:03+00:00

You're obese, that's a fact. Cold approach isn't going to work for you if you are obese. It's great that you have the confidence to approach but your time is better spent in the gym to try and lose some weight. It makes a big differences

jwaters0122 · 2022-01-18T21:15:41+00:00

join a fraternity or find some friends. company attracts more company. women won't go out with loners.

spartan-kick · 2022-01-18T21:01:54+00:00

Make friends first. Approach everyone. Guys and girls. Don’t have any expectations when you do. If you’re not feeling like they’re giving you the same energy, just make an exit out of the conversation and don’t try to get their socials. Just try to be the friendly guy that everyone knows. Not saying everyone will want to be your friend, but who cares.

I literally did this a couple weeks ago. There’s this dude who goes to the gym and I kept seeing him there around the same time as I do, and he’s similar build as mine. I went up to him between sets and said “Hey man, I’ve seen you here working out same time as I do, and thought I would say what’s up.” The conversation went on from there, and I asked him for his name etc. Now every time I go, I have a quick chat with him. It also turns out, the guy is pretty popular and a lot of guys and girls know him which is how I’ve gotten introduced to a lot of hot girls there.

Just go out there and have fun. Be friendly with everyone and you’ll have a lot of fun.

Intelligent-Dingo-64 · 2022-01-18T20:56:19+00:00

Get some male friends. I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten the assist from the guys talking about who is single, which girl does the nasty stuff I like or just who is the inexperienced one and possibly a better match for you.

Also this way, your social time is seen as more valuable. All that free time is not attractive to women like “ooh he can spend all that time with me?!?”. Also, it gives you social status which is important in the law of attraction.

From there the whole virginity thing and approach will be less of a burden cause naturally you come off less desperate not just for relationships but time. Get friends first in college (ideally not females at first - I swear on this it will keep you a virgin longer), then get your game on, strategize with the lads where y’all are going out, update that I.g. and tinder caption with “adventurous”. Develop the stories. Bro trust me: the pack survives but the lone wolf dies or some quote like that… so make friends first, that should be a priority.

soysaucepapi · 2022-01-18T21:36:59+00:00

Sounds like you have what most men don’t when it comes to women: the balls to cold approach them. Remember, getting their attention is hard but so it keeping it.

It sounds like you’re a good dude but like others said, you’re a tad overweight. Tighten up your diet and hit the gym a few times a week and you’ll start to lose weight and gain confidence.

Someone mentioned cologne and that’s great too. I’d recommend something like Halloween Man X for the cold weather and Versace Dylan Blue for the warmer months. Both are relatively inexpensive, fragrance-wise but they do get compliments. If you want to splurge a bit, get a small bottle of Versace Eros or Dior Sauvage.

Keep on keeping on, my guy!

EnvironmentalRule525 · 2022-01-18T22:16:06+00:00

“I have decided to give up on women and focus on my weaknesses and improve myself”

Young man, you’re wiser than most people your age. Get jacked. Kill it at school. Be a good friend. Develop a good sense of humor. Be nice to people but do not be a pushover. Have a positive mental attitude. You won’t be a virgin for long.

ALSO: Befriend someone who’s super outgoing. Talk to people in your classes. Do “cold approach” on guys or girls when you’re standing in line, at the gym, etc etc. I had 0 friends the first half year of college. Then everything changed when I read “how to win friends and influence people” and just started talking to people.

christopherames · 2022-01-18T22:01:13+00:00

You definitely need to lose weight; not only for women but your health. I recommend the keto diet and intermittent fasting. Keto will reduce your hunger and only eating 1 or 2 meals won’t be that difficult. Keto wasn’t sustainable for me (after like 10 months) and now I’m a calorie and macro counter and am lifting weights to gain muscle which is ultimately what women want physically in men. Also very impressive that you cold approached 30 women while being overweight. I need to develop that I Don’t Give a Fuck What People Think attitude.

thelambofdeth · 2022-01-18T22:08:00+00:00

Stop being fat

2022-01-18T22:06:13+00:00

I’m 6’ and 225 lb and I’m slightly overweight.

bpslay23 · 2022-01-18T22:28:34+00:00

First off I’d say hit the gym, will give you a ton of confidence start going 4 days a week. Secondly you need to establish yourself in a big friend group. This is how you will meet people which will lead you to more opportunities. Third make sure you’re dressing stylish and are keeping up with hygiene. With all these you will definitely boost your odds

bestinwpb · 2022-01-18T22:40:16+00:00

Improve your physique
Dancing (salsa and Bachata classes) are supposedly amazing for meeting women
Be more social and get approaches in

Intelligent-Dingo-64 · 2022-01-18T22:50:25+00:00

i am 5.57 and 121 lbs same results with women hhhhh

SanchezDa1299 · 2022-01-18T23:26:57+00:00

Work out, get into a martial art of some sort and get a hobby like for me it’s cooking I workout do martial arts and cook and just those 3 changed my life man confidence goes along way

2022-01-19T00:40:20+00:00

It’s the 230lb.

Cards_s · 2022-01-19T02:36:08+00:00

Cold approaching is one of the hardest things and you are already familiar with it so you are doing fine.

Your hobbies are fine since they can make/save you some money later on in life, basically they are useful hobbies. I'm not saying playing video games, etc.. is bad but I dont see much benefit from those activities. Hobbies are supposed to be fun anyway, it doesn't matter what other people think.

Imho you should focus on losing weight, you will notice how people react to you in no time.

Focus in cardio, do some research about intermittent fasting and caloric deficit, this is one of the fastest and safest way to lose weight.

When you reach your desired weight start lifting and build muscle, invest on your clothes, hair, etc.. invest hard on your looks.

It's amazing what being fit and looking like you put effort in your self do for you, when talking to girls, job interviews etc...

Good luck man!!!

Secret_Twitch · 2022-01-18T20:46:54+00:00

Get in shape by going to the gym 6 days a week and get your diet in check, upgrade your wardrobe, get a new haircut from an actual men's barber and not great clips and grow a beard, read the Sex God Method 2nd Edition and learn how to fuck a woman properly. This is just off the top of my head

jam-unam · 2022-01-18T21:56:47+00:00

When ya lose weight m8

JZheng03 · 2022-01-18T23:56:32+00:00

sounds like your problem is more about how you approach and what you say when you do it.

Your physical appearance has nothing to do with it and nor does your hobbies.

Don't give up, you're already better than most guys out there who are starting out since they all have approach anxiety and you don't.

Go watch Jack Denmo's prank pickup videos and mimic his confidence and body language.

Then go watch some Todd V videos and learn some theory. If they're saying they have a boyfriend, most likely it's a shit test or you're pushing for the close too soon.

Also, it sounds like you're giving up too soon in the approach as well, try and talk with the girls instead of just saying hi and asking for their number which is what most go it's do in the beginning.

BTW, your hobby list is a awesome DHV if you can compile some stories to tell about them when you are talking with a girl. Stuff like that is what makes the conversation interesting.

If you need any practical advice, go read up The Mystery Method and watch some infield videos by Todd V as well.

The worst thing to do right now is to give up on Game.

This shit works as long as you take the time to learn it. It is very involved.

Don't be worried about what you look like but if you can you should try and dress well, be well groomed, add a few pieces of light jewellery like a chain or ring and hit the gym as often as you can.

I work with a guy who is fat as fuck but he's got more fucking confidence in himself than even me! Granted he is also like 7 years older.

Still, he now has a fiancé.

Looks don't matter as much as you think, probably only like 5% to 10% and the rest is how you carry yourself and your game and charisma.

you can be viewed as a 10 even if you are fat and living in your mom's basement if your game is that advanced.

Zealousideal-Bar-154 · 2022-01-18T22:48:50+00:00

Yes. Give up. Really, I mean don’t make the conscious effort to “hunt” let it come to you💪 read and fill your mind with things that boost your confidence and positivity. If you think you’re not “good” looking - sharpen or pick up a hobby or skill (I.e. art, trading, gold, etc. - speaking intelligently about something outside the school curriculum will always make you sound intelligent to a girl from your college. Lastly, you’re in the right track by counting your attempts, now switch it. Don’t count the failed attempts - those don’t count. Count only the positive approaches and focus on what you’re doing good- not the other way around. You’ll be drowning in pu$$y in no time, amigo. Good luck (even tho you won’t need it.)

-WolfieMcq · 2022-01-19T03:49:06+00:00

You sound so creepily self-centered. How can I get this how can I get that. Not one thought to the woman at all. No wonder they run. All while pretending you don’t know it’s because you’re fat. It’s a symptom of your denial. And don’t tell me if I was a woman talking this way the people wouldn’t slam me for being fat. Women get slammed for being fat even when they’re not fat. Thank God we’re finally realizing we don’t need men.

2022-01-18T21:28:01+00:00

I’ve seen attractive women (even models) date guys who are way more obese than you. You’re looks is not a problem. More likely it’s the way you approach women that is causing them to reject you, either you’re making them uncomfortable or you don’t have charisma.

Dodechaedron · 2022-01-18T20:48:22+00:00

Become rich

buzzncuzzn · 2022-01-18T21:05:15+00:00

Showcase good hygiene and be personable.

ragetanic · 2022-01-18T21:29:04+00:00

Join groups to make friends, college campuses tend to have a lot of those. Go on a CICO diet, and find some dance classes and stuff for exercise; seems like you enjoy doing that so you would be more prone to sticking with it. Keep all your hobbies my dude, don't change what you enjoy for anything.

Also this isn't for picking up women but continue your study habits. You got this my dude

2022-01-18T22:16:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thinkdustin · 2022-01-18T22:28:00+00:00

Not trying to be mean at all ... lose weight. I'm 5'10 too and between 170 and 180 is probably the right weight to be. I was as high as 220 a few years ago and I get a lot more attention and respect at a lower weight.

That starts with good nutrition and regular exercise.

Women, like men, care a lot about looks.

freevisiondesign · 2022-01-18T22:49:49+00:00

I’m 25 and I’m 5’11 230lb. I lost about 50lb working on losing another 40lb rn. Losing weight will help with your confidence a lot which will help you with attracting girls. Download a food track and buy a food scale. Learn so weigh lifting movements also and do cardio a couple days out of the week. Cardio will help you look good with clothes on and weight lifting will help you look good with clothes off. Your hobbies are good it’s a lot of people that don’t have hobbies so don’t feel bad that you are productive. That’s a good start.

H8beingmale · 2022-01-18T22:50:07+00:00

losing weight can help a lot

lightbraddah · 2022-01-18T23:31:39+00:00

Start lifting. You’ll lose weight but more importantly you’ll be more comfortable in your own skin. Taking care of your body builds confidence and improves your self esteem.

RideProof · 2022-01-18T23:42:28+00:00

I was 5’7 230lbs 3 years ago. Now I’m 140 lbs lose the weight I thought the same thing but I easily notice how differently people treat you when I was fat and wasnt

Low_Fondant9911 · 2022-01-18T23:49:27+00:00

Um... lose weight bro, you are severely overweight at 510 230, muh guy. Hit the gym asap

vibrantbarleybowling · 2022-01-18T23:58:48+00:00

Lose the Virgin part the rest will come from its own

andyhura · 2022-01-19T00:09:41+00:00

Hit the gym and read the book no more mr nice guy. There’s a free audiobook on YouTube

LevelUp84 · 2022-01-19T00:19:30+00:00

While losing weight, find hobbies that get you out of the house.

Vv2333 · 2022-01-19T00:26:27+00:00

You're in college bruh. You don't have free.time. you're actually paying for it everyday. So just focus on school, workout and stack your bread. Find people in your major and focus on school. If you wanna get laid so bad put $500 to the side, fly to Vegas and go to a Bunny Ranch.

the_malaysianmamba · 2022-01-19T01:21:57+00:00

Cut down to 185.

2022-01-19T01:24:16+00:00

get taller and make more money, i can't do those but it looks like that's what they care about

hardthumbs · 2022-01-19T01:56:48+00:00

Ain’t the gym which is your problem if you’re obese, it’s your eating habits.

Walk more, eat better

Professional_Yard_76 · 2022-01-19T02:12:48+00:00

Get in shape. Join a workout program to meet people. Baby steps. Get in shape and the rest will come together one step at a time…

SnooMachines1406 · 2022-01-19T02:14:24+00:00

Cold approach can work for you now because no matter how good you look its a numbers game.

Theory_Agile · 2022-01-19T02:49:21+00:00

Keep doing you bro, get a degree where you can make a decent living and the women will come later, and they'll be younger than you these chicks in college will be single and cat moms in 15 years, with pastrami trousers

Scrrsa · 2022-01-19T03:08:31+00:00

You're appearance gives off a personality without you knowing it. The gym will definitely boost the confidence you already have.

Your hobbies are what make you, you. It would help to be relatable and relevant to others by trying or learning about other things you think are universal and dig deeper within those topics. Car repair? I don't trust mechanic so I became one myself. I'd say I'm pretty good with my hands. I'll show you.... Dancing? I'll do the chacha real smooth. Much smoother than most people... Reading? I read that almost 69% of people believe anything they hear if they quote it by someone.... John Adam's in late 1696.. You can be relatable to anyone even if your not.

There are many different ways to connect with people but being able to present yourself is the best advertising you can give to your audience; as in your approaches.

IndianRedditor88 · 2022-01-19T03:09:05+00:00

For a guy with 5'10", you are already obese at over 100 KG. You must roughly be somewhat in the 75-80 kg weight range for you to appear decent.

Hit the Gym and get the weight under control

International_Bar888 · 2022-01-19T03:14:43+00:00

I have the same issue with social circle and women. I’m 5,11 and 150 pounds. My hobbies are just coding as I don’t do anything else other then attend school. I’m not a flirt either as I don’t know how to at all or talk to a female in that range other then direct questions and concerns.

krispykreme01 · 2022-01-19T03:17:12+00:00

Simple get fit, stay in school, keep doing hobbies, and lastly get with a sick tight crew. You know clout or whatever. So Getting friends and being social should be a semi priority, having a social group helps attract women and you’ll meet women easier through social groups.

Morph_Kogan · 2022-01-19T03:24:47+00:00

You literally wrote the answer in your first sentence, why even post the question

Bigtime1234 · 2022-01-19T03:47:19+00:00

You live in the dorms?

ellakstone · 2022-01-19T04:10:51+00:00

You don't need to lose weight to find a girl. Go find some groups to join. Get to know some people. One person can introduce you to hundreds of people. Get social and find a way to to be comfortable. One of the bigger guy at my college got a girl because he plays music during the meal times. People would eat close to him playing and he got to know many people. Girls with fall for your heart and the best way to for that is getting out there and socializing.

TexRetroTech · 2022-01-19T04:19:12+00:00

I started working out when I was your age and it totally changed my relationship to females. I am 52 now and still have my college body. Keep the hobbies. They are part of you and will you a more interesting person when you encounter a serious relatinoship

tropicsGold · 2022-01-19T04:36:13+00:00

Start training for a particular athletic event. Think of yourself as an athlete and eat and work accordingly. A change in how you view yourself is necessary for significant and lasting physical changes. And you need to drop a LOT of weight, you should weight 160, maybe 170.

I would really recommend a martial art. Kickboxing. Jiu Jitsu. Great for getting in shape, and also great for your self confidence. And I have found martial artists to be great people, very friendly and supportive. And they know a lot about diet and training.

A final word of motivation. You will be SHOCKED at how much easier everything else becomes. Girls will start checking you out and angling for dates. Your improved health will make you feel so much better. You will rarely get sick. Life is just better.

ellakstone · 2022-01-19T04:37:25+00:00

Thats what everyone things. But in my group of 15 females that I have meet in college. Mist want to date someone but dosent know anyone. Also the kind of girl your looking for will mostly be a little shy. However if your in a group and they get to know you a little then your chances are higher. Also if you one frie.ds with a female then she can find out other people looking and say hey I got a guy friend looking for someone. Then they can talk you up some too. College is all about who you meet and what you learn. Your best bet is to find some school clubs, hang out in some common areas, and simply meet other friends. College would be a small sad world without other people to call friends. Keep your head up. Also your hobbies sounds awesome. See if you can join in a group that involves those. My best friend I made in college was actually just walking up to tables at the beginning and asking if I could sit with them. Oh and for attaching smell good make some jokes and smile.

pisspuddlecucklord · 2022-01-19T04:48:14+00:00

you don’t that you have to lose weight to meet a girl. 1/3 of adults in america are overweight, and plenty of them are fucking. id try getting on some dating apps, and also prioritize making friends first. especially women, not for the purpose of becoming more than that, but so you can get more comfortable talking to them. just make sure they’re people you actually want to be friends with, dont use them to achieve a goal, obviously. other than that, try to be confident, fake it til you make it. you seem like a nice guy and your hobbies are cool, try to be kind to yourself and remember that there’s nothing shameful about the situation you’re in, i promise you it’s really not uncommon. as hard as it is, try to let go of the importance of having sex. when it happens, it happens, and nothing will magically change afterward. focus on feeling good in your own body. and remember when the situation may arise that you don’t owe anyone the information that it’s your first time, it’s your choice if you want to share that with them. if you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to pm me. - a woman who touches grass

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	93
Comments	118
Date	January 18, 2022 8:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s779h3/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1268749 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268749

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