We had an amazing time together on our first date, had a great kiss and today she sent me a message that she found out that she's still not over her ex. What do I do?

JAE_7502 · 2021-12-23T15:02:48+00:00

Just tell her you had a good time and if she changes her mind to let you know. Then move on with life. If she does reach out to you one day (doubtful this happens) you can reevaluate things and see if you want to see her again.

norwegiandoggo · 2021-12-23T13:40:36+00:00

What do I do?

Nothing

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-12-23T17:34:11+00:00

INTEREST LEVEL. INTEREST LEVEL. INTEREST LEVEL. Hers not yours. If you want to have an amazing dating life then date women who have high interest in you. If you want to have a miserable frustrating existence then chase after women who make fuckall effort to be with you. Are you a great guy that deserves a great woman who's invested in you? Or are you a sniveling weakass bitch with no options that will take shit from every woman who thinks you're as attractive as a table lamp and happily chase after the scraps of her "affection"? Which do you deserve?

flowingandrolling · 2021-12-23T13:15:18+00:00

She sent clear message to you which is nice. She wants to get back with him. Thank her fo the lovely time and delete her number. She checks all boxes but one ( the biggest one). Honest truth is she used you to make her ex jealous which worked. You’ll just end up heart broken no matter what scenario plays out. Make her regret you in mean time Plenty of fish in the sea that are worth your time and effort.

baorange · 2021-12-23T15:58:32+00:00

Thank her for not further wasting your time and keep it moving.

andrewpwiener · 2021-12-23T20:44:46+00:00

Move on,

She needs to work on herself, you can always go on another date and kiss another lady. There are soo many other women out there.

mabden · 2021-12-23T23:29:08+00:00

Wish her luck and loose her number.

Frdoco11 · 2021-12-24T19:03:58+00:00

Move on. It was a first date..

Technoratus · 2021-12-23T21:26:43+00:00

Take that and go. She did you a courtesy here. One that some people dont get often. Would you rather be chasing her knowing that behind your back shes chatting up this dude, or will eventually leave you or cheat?

SuperDamian · 2021-12-23T21:59:34+00:00

Carry on with your life. Realize that there is nothing in there for you. You keep on looking for someone else who is ready for you.

21nightofSeptember · 2021-12-23T23:28:13+00:00

Tell her you don’t want to play, give her time to make up her mind if she wanna establish relationship with you, if she can’t get over the x then you must accept and move on. Don’t waste time playing other people’s games

GhoulChaser · 2021-12-24T01:35:25+00:00

Break contact with her. I honestly would leave her on seen. You need to show her that what she said is unfazing to you and you need to punish her by bringing that up. If she wasn’t over her ex there was no reason for her to go on that date and let you kiss her.

NotANerdReally · 2021-12-23T16:33:09+00:00

Ah. This is the part where the inexperienced guy clings on, asks questions, and gets desperate.

This is the part where the experienced guy sends a polite, but terse reply. And nothing more.

CigarFrog · 2021-12-23T19:20:02+00:00

Let it go and move on. Txt back and tell her it was a pleasure and when she's ready to move on, to reach out. IF you're still available you guys can go out again. If she suddenly realizes she doesn't want to lose you, she'll get over it, if not, you don't have time to supplicate until she does. - ZenMachine

excentrik-art · 2021-12-23T16:53:26+00:00

Well some possible probles here:

1) She does not want to have LTR right now and you did not made her want to have FWB with you

2) She checkes all your boxes, but you did not check all her boxes for neither LTR of FWB

What can you do... Well not much, first impression is crucial. But you can always organise some event or party and invite her in. If she comes, dont make her center of attention. Think about what you want, LTR or FWB? Make her feel happy for LTR and horny for FWB

2021-12-23T17:24:29+00:00

"Best wishes, then. I had a great time; if you ever want to talk, you have my number." Leave it at that. Wait at least a month if you don't hear back. You can then drop her a line, but keep it short and friendly. If she responds, same advice; wait a couple days, then a short, sympathetic reply~you're not mad, just busy. She has to decide to leave him before you let her chase you, so let her decide, first.

69Gwynbleidd69 · 2021-12-23T18:24:16+00:00

Send her something along the "OK give me a call if you change your mind" and back off, don't contact her, don't like her posts, pictures, etc. If she calls you at some point, arrange a date, if she doesn't well, that is just dating.

Dizzy_Paramedic6216 · 2021-12-23T21:20:27+00:00

She kissed you and realize she missed her ex. You just respond , good luck let me know if you need me I am here for you, and you let her figure out what she needs to. 50% you’ll see her again.

Leviathansplunge · 2021-12-23T18:00:09+00:00

Move onto the next one. She may not be that bitch that is changing her mind last minute, sometimes having a really good time with someone makes the girl realize how she really feels about someone else, u did nothing wrong here but u can't be hung up on the circumstances, just keep going on dates with different women, and make it known, she might chase u when u become the guy she can't have.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-12-23T20:21:23+00:00

I always try to ONS just broken up girls, I think my strike rate is 100%, she's just looking for some comfort validation.

Don't delete her number, just reply with a simple x, that's it, no emotion, unreactive, she may well come crawling back and then you can ask her how she plans to make it up to you.

Paltonao · 2021-12-23T22:45:29+00:00

Don’t do anything and carry on. No other thing you can do.

mkj629 · 2021-12-23T23:24:46+00:00

When I say that, it's my way of letting a guy down easy...

SunDevilElite42 · 2021-12-24T00:36:12+00:00

I would tell her “I understand, thank you for the honesty” and move along with life. One of your boxes should be that the person should be into you as much as you are into them. At least she is honest with you. I dated a girl who I thought was perfect but for some reason couldn’t progress it further to be more serious, come to find out she was hooking up with her ex the two months we were dating. Wish she just would have told me after our first date…

Lynxneo · 2021-12-24T00:37:10+00:00

The best advice i can give you, is that you should follow the great advice those people gave you. But too, despite what happens or what you decide to do. GIVE HER TIME. And by time i don't mean that you should wait her, let 2 months pass and call her again, sorry but no. She's honest, that's good, but there is nothing to insist if she has doubt. You always have to be her first choice, always. Be polite, tell her you understand, that maybe when time pass if she is free and you are too, both could try again. But since now you must start forgetting her. Don't worry, if you don't let this affect you so much, you are bound to find equally or even better people for you. People that wish to be with you as a first choice and not something to "try".

Be thankful for your experiences with her though, is needed so you can pass the page more easy.

2dice1hand · 2021-12-24T01:29:45+00:00

All’s fair in love and war

seattleinfall · 2021-12-24T03:13:53+00:00

Literally nothing you can do. Girls love attention and do annoying shit like this. Move on and get with other girls who are actually emotionally available and aren’t playing games.

Unique_Philosophy_40 · 2021-12-24T04:29:44+00:00

She’s shit testing you, act like you don’t need her and she’ll chase you. Just say “Sure, but if you ever want to have some fun 😉”

Altruistic_Flow_9253 · 2021-12-24T05:18:27+00:00

Move on my bro, you got a kiss that’s a step in the right direction. Even me as many dates as I have not my last date but the date before it I blew it, didn’t even get a kiss. But I move on as much as these girls are glamours we don’t kiss the floor they stand on. Onto the next, man

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-12-24T05:28:39+00:00

Ignore that bs

Text after few days. For the meetup

Ps: you’re a rebound, make sure u smash. Few times. Then tell her good bye

Chabubu · 2021-12-24T06:24:26+00:00

You say “I totally understand. Take whatever time you need. Either way, it was great meeting you. Just reach out if you do want to go out again.”

Then you ignore her and move on. You cannot force anyone to change their mind about you.

The best signal you can send is that you enjoy her and want to see her, but that you understand her and are listening and that you’re not pushy or needy.

sergeiglimis · 2021-12-24T07:18:34+00:00

You want to give her as much space as possible if you want her to see you are better then him you can’t be waiting on her or she’ll never have to pick because you’ll always be there. Be brief she knows you enjoyed her company but that won’t bring her back you need her to want to.

Silly-Leg-1124 · 2021-12-24T07:33:12+00:00

This is your sign that she’s not interested in a relationship, ALWAYS pick women who show high enthusiasm, don’t even try to convince her, a simple « alright, nice meeting you » would do more than the job.

If she comes back, don’t give your attention too easily, make her work for it.

Ok_Cap547 · 2021-12-24T07:49:49+00:00

Bro do yourself a favor trust me . Walk away until she is done loving someone else .you owe it to yourself to let her deal with those emotions .

Joeplayer6 · 2021-12-24T09:18:33+00:00

Tell her the best way to get over a man is to get under another one. Let's hook up.

Donald-Trompf · 2021-12-24T10:50:18+00:00

Don't take is TOOO seriously, rather take it as an XP-gain. Don't get too emotionally attached, king if she dosent wants you 100% she aint worth your time. Good luck.

The_Pierrminator · 2021-12-24T12:11:59+00:00

This is a classic example of buyers remorse.

Just let it go, if you try to pursue her it will only get worse

oreopimp · 2021-12-24T14:14:25+00:00

No idea what her exact msg was, but just reply: "no worries. lmk when you figure it out."

You guys just kissed, you didn't even have sex...and even if you did have sex, which would have only been once...you should really be looking at her message with the mindset of: this is a potential get together weeks or months later as no relationship or feeling lasts very long in this life. So that being the case, just reply with a chill msg so weeks later when she looks back over it and wants someone to hang out with she remembers how cool about everything you were.

Also: get more women in your life. Have a steady stream of sex or some kind of casual companionship. You'll see so clear you'll recognize the matrix you're living in.

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2021-12-25T07:58:04+00:00

I think it's over with this one. Best you could do would be maybe wait a month and try her one more time. Don't get hung up on a girl after one date. Figure out how to work a higher volume, and Keep moving through them until you find one that actually likes you.

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