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[–]lana_del_reymysterio 61 points62 points63 points 4 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
Been reading your post and comments and it's fascinating how similar and different our experiences have been.
Like you, I'm also 24 and am a similar height and weight (180/75kg) and am also very lean.
had this idea in mind that I would never have a single match based on the horror stories I've been told online. Reality played out differently.
I felt the exact same as you, especially since I never get all that much attention in real life (which became worse when I got in shape).
I felt like I was unattractive until I got tinder which exploded and I've had lots of matches, dates, sex with quite attractive women. I never even see average and below women even pop up in my swipes, let alone matches.
However, what's been different for me is that I have found quite a lot of women have now become intimidated by me based on my physique and in some ways this has actually hurt me with women.
I rarely meet women my age comfortable with me, they do weird things ranging from going into this weird deer in headlights vibes when I try to talk to them, making lots of negative assumptions about me (fuckboy, player).
I've also had lots of women I was sleeping with cover up their bodies and be generally insecure comparing their bodies to mine during sex.
This is especially an issue given I look around and frequently see attractive women with some real headscratchers looks wise, it's a real mindfuck. Also hurts me being able to date the kinds of women I like personality wise.
Happy to talk more about this with you if you would like
[–]Automatic_Beautiful9 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
There have been posts about this issue on this sub. It will take a while for women to be not intimidated, just like they are still evolving to ask guys out. Just assure them you like them physically and it should be fine
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just assure them you like them physically and it should be fine
You would think so but this has never been enough in my experience.
e.g. when they're already on the defensive (those weird deer in headlights vibes) in talking to me, reassurance in their looks seems to have no effect. Also, their standoffishness makes me lose interest in them as their vibe won't allow us to build any rapport, and anything like any IOIs or flirting from them is completely out of the question.
So when most women my age have what I interpret to be fuck off vibes and these vibes absolutely kill my interest no matter how good they look, what am I supposed to do?
[–]Automatic_Beautiful9 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Find someone else that isn't intimidated by you. I'm not like a bodybuilder but I am in shape. So not in shape girls just shy away from me. I am attracted to them but most of them are too intimidated.
I do keep approaching girls that I like, if they say no, move on
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So not in shape girls just shy away from me. I am attracted to them but most of them are too intimidated.
See, that's the conundrum for me, the types of women who have the types of personalities/interests that click with mine are the ones much more likely to be the not in shape girls and the ones more likely to shun me.
So I feel like I'm in this weird purgatory.
[–]donaldtrumpsmistress 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
on the flip side, I'm an average, very much not ripped guy. More dad bod. I do well IRL but pretty shit results with online.
Obv yes, get ripped if you can and truly love the gym or are willing to make the dedicated effort. It's not the end all be all though, and it's possible to have a good time just going out and making out with and dating randoms from bars even if you're an average looking dude but confident and funny.
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Funny you say that. At least where I live (Australia) you seem to have a wayyyy better chance with women IRL being an average guy.
Because at least they at least attempt to talk to you like a normal person a lot more and don't put their walls up immediately.
Women used to be MUCH more receptive to me when I was less attractive and underweight, now they react to me like they shit themselves or something.
[–]donaldtrumpsmistress 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
women are just confusing. some of it even comes down to where you are. I was in Tampa and having shit luck all year with girls, came up to NYC and get looks constantly on the street and I've been on a pretty hot streak with pulls and makeouts. I think I even looked better in Tampa but it's just easier here.
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
women are just confusing. some of it even comes down to where you are.
Couldn't agree more. When I visited the US, I noticed women were much more chatty and flirtatious and forward than here in Australia. And I don't even have an Australian accent so I can't credit the difference to that (was noticeable even in messages).
[–]Worldly-Fox7605 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
New York is a different game. New York there are so few guys that are looking for serious relationships and there are so many more women than men there that they are willing to get out and put more effort forth. Source:the book datingnomics.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I feel you on the deer in the headlights part man. I work as a cashier and im pretty muscular and some girls get soo shy or stand off ish with me immediately. It usually takes like them coming in 2-3 other times till they act chill with me and realize im just a chill guy and im not really interested in talking much.
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep it takes agesssss just for most women my age to talk to me like a normal person, like I'm actually shocked when a woman my age does bc it's so rare.
Funny thing though, you're not interested in talking much, whereas I am. So I actually try to talk to them, ask them about themselves, and all I get is weird brick wall vibes.
[–]Entire-Part1066 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Give her validation "you got a big booty", "come over here sexy" whateve. The point isn't to become a little compliment doggy, its to actually make her feel good and confident b4 sex. She isn't intimated she is just insecure about her body.
[–]JacobMoogberg69 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do you know how you look at certain women and tell yourself "she will never fuck ME". Well, women do the same thing.
Yes, I get that. But I only feel that way about like the top TOP girls. Like the super hot girls at the gym.
However, if one of those super hot women spoke to me I wouldn't act completely standoffish to them, I would talk to them back like a normal person.
Women don't do this with me. When I talk to them, ask them about themselves (you know, trying to have a normal conversation), do they reciprocate? No, instead it's like they shit themselves and their walls go up immediately.
And I don't even consider myself to be on THAT high a level that I could induce such feelings in women.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Man that's kinda strange to hear
I'll tell you this though. I'm extremely quiet and shy, even my voice isn't that deep. I make it a priority to throw that out there because I loathe impinging stereotypes. Could you be not showing more personality?
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Could you be not showing more personality?
See this comment here written by u/Asleep-Echo-3701. Especially this part: ·
But I'm definitely getting filtered out by women and they're doing it before they even get a chance to know me. I know it's not in my head. I'm funny, social, and I'm the one carrying the conversation when I try. It's odd that the only demographic that struggles talking to me is women age 18-40. I know I'm not boring and my friendships attest to that.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You know what happened? My connections with people grew deeper and I had awesome conversations with strangers more often. Made acquaintances everywhere. You know what the other common denominator was with these people? They were willing to engage me. They were not women between like 18-40 (arbitrary range, but yanno what I mean).
I swear to god I've written this word for word myself before, spot on.
The conversation with most of these girls after I approach them goes like this....
You could put the failure on me in that situation. I mean I'm open to always improving myself and I feel social skills are eminently improvable over your lifetime, but I think if you're looking at it objectively then you'd agree I'm not fucking up in that situation. She is. The reason many guys don't understand is I see how girls talk with them. It's literally right in front of me. For example, that girl I mentioned earlier at the gym talked animatedly to maybe 20+ regulars around our age. I'm observant and I've experienced this long enough to know the difference.
The conversation you described is EXACTLY how mine go with women. I used to blame myself but then I realised literally no other demographic behaves like that towards me.
And I see how they talk to other guys who aren't as attractive, they're a lot more chatty.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I'm really perplexed. It might be a different demographic issue, since I live in the UK (neither a Brit nor caucasian though).
Just a question if you don't mind, what kinds of interests are you into and how do you go about defining yourself?
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I live in Australia. Our social dynamic is deffs a lot less extroverted than the US (have lived in both).
Interests? I love working out as you would guess but this doesn't define me. Hell I rarely even mention it, nor post about it or my gains on social media.
I love cooking, playing piano, composing music, finance/investing, retro video games. These are the aspects I showcase on social media. Still get those bad vibes from women.
Not sure what you meant by "how do you go about defining yourself?"
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love cooking, playing piano, composing music, finance/investing, retro video games.
This is scarily comparable to me lol
With regards to music, I might be the dorkiest person in the world for sharing my last fm profile on dating apps. But somehow it spurs curiosity. It has all my playlists too
If a girl asks you a question about your interests, and you know this question is meant for vetting, how do you answer?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]alexaxl 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Chris Helmsley issue; you’re too hot for them and they self disqualify it seems.
Also if you’re that much of a looker but your vibes and behavior are way different or creates and incoherence paradox of sorts about you.
[–]JacobMoogberg69 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe you.
[–]itsvoogle 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
God i hate to say this because i hate talking about myself especially things like this about my appearance/personality but i feel in the same boat, i have girls and even guys always telling me how i look like this actor or this and that, i can notice them looking at me from afar all the time and can tell when they are around me like they sorta freeze when they look me in the eye but its always like they end up choosing someone that seems not as (i hate to say this) good looking or maybe more accessible? Its like they think they dont have a chance or something. Its a paradox of sorts. Do they think im gonna cheat on them or something? Its weird. And its not my personality, far from it i am well liked with so many people, funny charming. I guess when i do get with a girl she is Always gorgeous and i notice that when i talk with those girls its far less awkward and it is way easier to talk to ironically. I dont fucking get it.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm really surprised this is your experience, assuming you have a somewhat decent personality of course (it's a much bigger handicap than anyone could think). NYC is amazing, could help a lot I'm sure.
[–]IDougozzz 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What about when you go out or anything, do you have any women chancing you or anything?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Women can't seem to function around me. They'll stare, giggle, sneak pictures all the time, etc. But it never leads to anything. I got rejected by this gym girl last month who I then found out is hooking up with this rather short, average guy..... But I'm definitely getting filtered out by women and they're doing it before they even get a chance to know me. I know it's not in my head. I'm funny, social, and I'm the one carrying the conversation when I try. It's odd that the only demographic that struggles talking to me is women age 18-40. I know I'm not boring and my friendships attest to that.
Since you mentioned me, I went and read this and all of this part above is 100% truth for me, especially the bolded parts. Had plenty of experiences with women passing me over to then get with average and below guys. And it's not like these guys have a super personality or anything, they're just regular average normal guys.
.....but there is more nuance because they inherently don't trust me. The paradox is they'll choose a less attractive guy who then pumps and dumps them anyway. I could only say this anonymously because the average guy would never believe me.
And again, all of this is my exact experience as well. No one ever believes me and it makes me think I'm crazy sometimes; e.g. all those reddit threads about signs you're attractive, signs a girl is into you? Get none of that.
Like /u/lana_del_reymysterio said, these girls put you in a situation where you have to start the conversation like 15 times or they will just hide. If you respect yourself, you expect some level of effort from the girl. So unless I act overeager and supplicating, we just won't talk. If I'm direct and ask her out in the first conversation, it's also a rejection 99% of the time as they are the most uncomfortable when they first meet you.
This is especially how I feel about it and it's such a mindfuck. Spot on.
[–]Noobfroobs 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God bless! I thought I was fucking crazy but I’m going through the same thing myself. I’m 6’6, and Everyone is so keen to mention how shredded I am, but I get no luck with women. Even when I ask them out, I get rejected. It currently has me doubting myself and there’s no one I can even talk to about this… everyone assumes I pull so much but it’s the contrary.
[–]wolfbee16 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Working out is a sure fire way to gain natural confidence. I tell that to all guys who aren’t good/don’t workout, because that’s how I started before I learned game
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One more point on this. When I was overweight, my face looked crappy. It carried so much fat with it. Working out has improved the way I look significantly, I genuinely can't believe how. The bone structure gets more visible, and overall your face adjusts to a better shape
[–]letmereaddamnit 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude I know! I got into super good shape for about a year and was getting mad female attention! Then I got a gf and then gained 40lbs. Now I'm fat and single and have to start from 0 again.
[–]Narcan9 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Brad Pitt in his prime, ala Fight Club and Snatch, have women sitting in a puddle while watching a movie.
[–]chillbill1220 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Has this all been from online? And you don’t have any shirtless pics? Just a lean face?
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Online yes. One closeup pictures that clearly shows it on my arms though (only one picture in short sleeves)
[–]chillbill1220 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Good for you. I’ve been working out for years but have never been consistent with diet. Probably 15-20% body fat. You’ve given me some motivation
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Diet is literally everything man haha
[–]borko781 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Can you give me some tips on what you eat? I dont eat a lot of healthy stuff sadly, only stuff like meat and eggs and some salads :(
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oatmeal and lean white fish. That's literally all I can add lol. It matters to stay away from what could ruin it (no junk food, no carb intensive food, no sugar, no milky overpriced coffee, no sweets - just suffer, mortal)
[–]chasingsukoon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
lean white fish
like tilapia? love how youve got everything on lock. I am just like OP, strong but not disciplined.
[–]TheNoobtologist 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Macros. Mostly protein. Aim for 1.2-1.5g protein per lb of body weight.
[–]michimoto 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So this means that if I decided to do 1.3g of protein per lb of body weight and I weighed 170 lbs, I'd need around 221g of protein/day?
If I were aiming for a lean bulk over winter, should I focus on increasing protein/lb of body weight or just eating more calories overall?
[–]TheNoobtologist 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That sounds perfect. I used to work out all the time and didn’t track diet—never saw results. As soon as I started tracking protein intake, it was night and day. I did meal prep shit that measured it out for me. Supplemented with Greek yogurt.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Meat eggs and salads sounds like the perfect diet to loose weight and consume protein, vitamins and minerals. Why do you believe it is not healthy?
[–]borko781 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I phrased it badly lol. What i meant to say was that the only stuff that I eat that is considered healthy are eggs salads and some meat stuff. But I dont eat many fruits except for apples and bananas, nor do I eat many veggies either. I pretty much grew up eating chocolates, spaghetti, burgers, pizza etc. Im a little fat right now, 2 metres tall and 111 kg, i was 90 kg just more than an year ago. Covid hit me hard :(
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Similar mate. I'm 178 cm. Was 92 before Covid and 105 now. That's what I'd do if I could remain disciplined with my diet. Meat, eggs and salads. Salads can include many veggies as well. But I find that difficult so tryna stick to intermittent fasting. I went from 112 to 92 a few years back with a combination of keto and then fasting. Covid screwed it all up. 🙄
[–]borko781 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How exactly did you do it? The diet thing with keto and fasting?
Also, I lost kilos because I lived in Germany pre covid and it involved lots of walking everyday. I would average like 15k steps a day there lol, but here in my country I dont get to really do that. I think this is a pretty underrated reason why I lost some weight too...
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Walking or any sort of physical activity can't cause drastic weight loss. More likely you were simply feeling better emotionally due to the walking and that can lead to less emotional eating.
With keto I simply did lazy keto, eggs for breakfast, as many as I could stomach. A salad for lunch. Even with high carb vegetables, and a sugar based dressing, cause some carbs won't kick you out of keto for long. And meat or a cottage cheese based dish either cooked at home or from an eatery on days I worked. This took off about 9kg.
The rest from fasting 14 to 18 hours a day and only eating one or two meals the rest of the day. And this was any sort of food I wanted to. Even desserts and sugar. But I realised that as I got better I relied on the sugar or sweet stuff a lot less.
I did do longer fasts when able. It was more of 18 to 20 hour fasts that led to the last of that weight falling off. And my longest was 27, with several 24 hour fasts thrown in.
[–]borko781 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Aand yes I would like to lose a ton of weight for sure. So such a diet would work right?
Absolutely.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
What is your height, weight and diet like?
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
182cm/77kg
Diet is just as boring as you might think. Lean fish/meat in general and protein intensive foods. To stay within budgets I didn't have the complementary stuff like whey isolate powder until I was employed and could pay for it.
Just devour protein in the required portions.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m at 183 cm and 105 kg, but my goal is about 80 kg. Found a solid lifting routine but am working on cleaning up my diet, thanks for the answer!
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Moikepdx 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is 6' tall, 170 lbs for the Americans.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you! I looked at this and was like I have no idea what this means.
[–]BillerBillions1 points 4 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Damn I’m about the same height as you but only 10 lbs heavier and am way out of shape. Didn’t know that that little weight could make that much of a difference
[–]KROMExRainbow 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Keep in mind that, in that case, you've probably got a much higher body fat percentage. Don't expect to lose 10 pounds and look shredded, because it's not going to happen.
The reality is more so that he might have 25lbs less of fat, but 15lbs more of muscle, meaning he's only 10lbs lighter overall, but will have a completely different body composition.
[–]useles-converter-bot -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fun fact, 10 pounds of whatever is exactly the same as 10 pounds of candy... or big macs... or doofenshmirtzes.
[–]useles-converter-bot 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
10 lbs of double AA batteries could start a medium sized car about 0.84 times.
[–]converter-bot 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
10 lbs is 4.54 kg
[–]DaydreamingMister 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Speaking of gym habits - my gym includes a complimentary instructor guy who circulates and gives tips/guidance to those interested… I like that but also feel curious about working with a personal trainer. How did you start out… solo? With a personal trainer? With a friend?
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Started with my BIL. He instructed me through everything. Personal trainers aren't worth it, personalised online plans work magic
[–]lactigger619 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Where do I go for this? I want to start but I wouldn’t even know what exercises to do. Or do you have a list of what days you do what ?
[–]MinimumNew7743 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
BIL?
[–]the-original-chad 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would agree fully. Guys don’t realize how much of a difference it does have on a girls psyche. It turns a man from cute to hot. It also makes hooking up immensely easier. Women will further the interaction for you and won’t resist when you try and make a move. It’s a HUGE asset because everyone is such a mediocre fat ass these days. A guy with a good body puts him in the top 10% of men.
[–]charlesdickinsideme 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
No way you’re 8.5% and your brother in law is 5%. This post just feels like a fantasy lol
[–]charlesdickinsideme 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yea that’s true prob just a field estimate. Even still, not easy to get to
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
5% is bodybuilding indeed. He's been training for 11 years straight
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Silence kanye fan. Go torch a cross or something
[–]Monty_Booourns 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Send pics
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Why
[–]TheRealMe54321 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Entire post could have been replaced with “looks are everything.”
[–]chasingsukoon 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
looks are the best gateway
[–]gmbhdios3 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No. You aren't able to change the shape of your face that much. But evereybody can get ripped with enough effort
[–]TheRealMe54321 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This leads to the exact same conclusion lol
[–]LandscapeClear1630 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That fucking diet is what kills me man, holy shit.
[–]kurapikachu020 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is just my personal preference but I find shredded bodies disgusting 😂 just something about the muscles and veins that aren't attractive in my eyes at all. Plus bodies like that are not comfortable for cuddles. Not all women like shredded bodies.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've heard girls say they're sometimes afraid of muscles and some others say they dislike gym bro attitude and so being shredded is a red flag (I agree with this btw) but this is the first time I see someone thinks it's disgusting.
[–]kurapikachu020 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It just gives me shivers when I see big bodybuilder muscles and veins. I don't know why 😅
[–]FaithInStrangers94 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
https://imgur.com/Rdobyht
Au contraire I look like this and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had girls obviously hit on me.
I’ve had a few girls actually tell me that I make them feel self conscious and I had to try and convince them that I found them sexy
I won’t deny that it helps, but it’s only a piece of the puzzle
What do you mean girls hit on you?
[–]Equivalent_Ad7389 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What you need to understand is attracting women on the internet versus real life is VERY different. On a dating app the women have like 100 likes per day so naturally they're going to pick the guy with the best photo, cutest, body, career etc.
In real life all that matters is your confidence. I'd say get off the dating apps man. You ain't gonna find something real. You need to approach real women to build your confidence and self esteem. You need to immediately make them feel safe and secure in your presence, and this is done with your body language and genuine intentions for her beauty. All this extra shit like physique, money, status just screams nice guy, trying to impress her to get laid.
[–]YvesSaintPige 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Excellent post man. You seem like a good dude.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Too bad I’m too skinny with a high metabolism to even gain muscle
[–]new__vision 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
r/gainit
[–]michimoto 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had the same problem in my late teens up until now(23). The key is to outpace your metabolism by eating more. By eating more I mean lean proteins, carbs, and starches. Essentially, you will then have to workout hard but careful not to burn off the calories you consumed in the day overall. This will allow you to gain mass but also size.
For a week, just give your all in tracking your calories and see how much food it takes for you to maintain your current body weight (maintenance calories)
Then, from week to week, focus on increasing your calories slowly and consistently. (caloric surplus)
[–]gmbhdios3 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What a bs. Selfsabotaging at its finest
[–]bojackhhorseman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m 18, 5’11”, and 140 lbs. Your post gives me hope.
Amazed enough to do some situps?
If you have that good a bod, why did you think you wouldn't get matches?
[–]Narcan9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't even have to be shredded. Go to the gym and lift a few times a week. Women usually won't say anything outright, but it will come out in conversation. Things like, "when we have sex I notice your shoulders, and butt". Or they will remark noticing a difference from before to after you started lifting.
Shoulders, butts, and abs are things they focus on.
[–]Automatic_Beautiful9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah, there will always be some people.
Plenty of fit computer science major girls. Just ask out more people, there will be some girls who's into you
[–]SuaveFuck 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OK, Mr Bateman.
[–]sarcastikpanda1 points 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Can you give some tips how you managed a good skin and hair please
Sure. The basics of keeping your skin clean starts with minimal things, like drinking enough water and suchlike. You should aim for the right products, and they're not necessarily the most expensive. Exfoliate and moisturise, as a first step. Also get an anti aging serum. Eye cream is a must, but don't get ripped off, just get something that works. Clean your face with a facial cleanser with moisturising components, don't you ever dare to use regular soap
For hair it's very simple, but you have to be extremely careful what could go wrong. Never opt for chemical straightening options. Get a good scalp cleanser and clean your scalp as regularly as you can; get actually good shampoo (something from redken brews, i recommend) and styling wax that work
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