[deleted by user]

Complicated_Business · 2021-11-07T03:55:39+00:00

Was this your idea or your bfs idea to start an open relationship?

MikeAlphaGolf · 2021-11-07T05:12:41+00:00

Open relationship or not is your business, but don’t shit where you eat.

showmeurmoods · 2021-11-07T07:54:41+00:00

93% of guys will take up the opportunity to have sex especially with no strings attached. Shoot your shot

marcelas888 · 2021-11-07T08:07:38+00:00

"hey, im in an open relationship"

Snight · 2021-11-07T10:09:01+00:00

This is 100% gonna end in monkey branching. It’s dangerous enough when you’re single, but sleeping with a work colleague is a terrible idea. I think you both need to go back and set mutual expectations and ground rules: e.g. no sleeping with friends, work colleagues, etc.

You can have sexual energy with 1000 people in a town. Don’t choose the path of least resistance because it will cause problems later.

Senor_Tortuga308 · 2021-11-07T11:21:13+00:00

This is just cheating with extra steps

kingpoonslayer · 2021-11-07T04:39:17+00:00

Before you go through with this im just concerned that this may not be the best option for your relationship. Not sure whos idea it was but very very few people can cope with a open relationship especially if one is getting some and the other isnt. If you guys talk and still feel this is the best option I’d take hollowdelgattos advice and have fun

Nephilim20 · 2021-11-07T12:21:13+00:00

As someone who has been in the OP’s crush’s position a few times I say don’t do it. I’ve changed jobs a couple of times from how messy these situations can be. First, if the open relationship was your idea then I would make absolutely sure that your boyfriend is down for this. Too many times a guy will say yes just because he doesn’t want to lose you and then dump you because he really isn’t and can’t get passed you sleeping with someone else. Not to mention he may show up to the workplace and start problems with the guy. Secondly, personal and professional lives should be separate. You don’t want to have your drama come into work or follow you home. It might be just fucking for you but you don’t know that really. He or you could catch feelings and that is where it can get really messy.

uditpathariyaa · 2021-11-07T04:30:24+00:00

Close the relationship. Down the road you will realize what a grave mistake it is. You are 21F getting a lot of attention, which makes you feel it okay to walk all over a good relationship. Also, was this your idea? Did u had an eye for the guy from your office prior to talking to your bf? It sound like you want to have your cake and eat it too

slickestwood · 2021-11-07T06:13:33+00:00

Eventually you say, "hey I'm in an open relationship"

My two cents, maybe don't do this. If you guys want to fuck other people that badly, just break up. It's going to get messy one way or the other. I've seen people break up and get back together, tons of times, but I have never seen this end well.

Hollowdlegatto · 2021-11-07T02:02:37+00:00

Just ask him and see if he wants to get something to eat or get a drink. If he asks about your bf then tell him you're in a open relationship and it's fine. There shouldn't be any awkwardness when your not directly telling him you want to fuck.

GNOK-GNIK · 2021-11-07T06:23:51+00:00

Just break it off and go your separate ways. Just know that actions have consequences and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side… and should you not break it off, atleast practice safe sex and don’t spread diseases

simbuah · 2021-11-07T11:55:24+00:00

Realise that this will end your 6 year relationship and make a choice. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

TheBig-A · 2021-11-07T09:15:24+00:00

I feel bad for the cuck that your boyfriend is

agamsoi666 · 2021-11-07T11:37:56+00:00

Disgusting.

vanilla_muffin · 2021-11-07T13:05:38+00:00

What a disaster waiting to happen. Seems fake tho

ImEthanOn · 2021-11-07T07:18:32+00:00

drunk slimy tease gullible pathetic judicious light quicksand physical steer -- mass edited with redact.dev

Real-Close · 2021-11-07T12:00:25+00:00

Most open relationships don’t work. Your new love interest probably won’t care but he might be in for some drama. But if all he wants is a hook up then all is good. You, on the other hand, probably won’t be satisfied with emotionless sex. So, when you like this new guy, what do you do? So you have to clarify your own needs first and then express them to the new guy over coffee.

2021-11-07T10:26:52+00:00

Whatever your situation is, avoid relationships at work. You go there to work and don't let anything jeopardize your career. Take it from someone who has seen many a people make this mistake and regret it.

beans0913 · 2021-11-07T13:18:01+00:00

“Wanna fuck” is never something on should work into a conversation with a COWORKER

That’s very dangerous territory and you probably should eat where you shit

__psalm-37__ · 2021-11-07T07:11:45+00:00

Just grab em by the pussy

Beansnmilk · 2021-11-07T12:05:57+00:00

Lmfao

LandscapeClear1630 · 2021-11-07T13:13:37+00:00

I feel sorry for your bf

dascomment · 2021-11-07T12:36:20+00:00

You're living a life which is doomed to fail.

lMobzTa · 2021-11-07T13:13:31+00:00

Trash

stormisurprise · 2021-11-07T13:37:42+00:00

You say, I’m in an open relationship.

Xenin_69 · 2021-11-07T13:43:24+00:00

Just tell him

Genex07 · 2021-11-07T14:50:08+00:00

F in the chats for your BF who’s obviously cucked and scared to say no or risk losing you, but doesn’t realize the relationship is basically over already.

Supers0nicp0tat0 · 2021-11-07T12:25:00+00:00

Haha, its women like you who gets used up and eventually end up alone in a shitty apartment in downtown with an abusive husband who is a bigger chad than you will ever be, you have a good thing going with your guy, who walk all over him and fuck someone else? I read that it was you who wanted to keep the terms open for your relationship, just break up and leave my bro alone, he deserves way better than what he got from you!

Lil_Hott_Momma · 2021-11-07T07:45:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AndreTheTallGuy · 2021-11-07T05:41:29+00:00

Poly/enm here. I think there are a couple ways to approach this. First is the direct approach that someone else commented. Ask him out for a drink and then bring it up in conversation there. This is the riskier approach and requires you to put yourself out there more.

The other way to do it is to just bring up the open relationship in a casual way. You are his friend and coworker so I imagine you talk about personal things, just let it come up. Once it does, he then has the option of asking you out for a drink.

I also want to say, please ignore all these comments telling you that you are making a mistake opening your relationship. Yes, sometimes when people in LTRs open up they do end up breaking up for a bunch of different reasons. However, there are tons of stories out there where people open up, stay together, and grow closer because of it. You just need honesty, communication, and a willingness to put in the work!

I can also recommend some resources if you are interested.

SadChocolatte · 2021-11-07T05:17:22+00:00

Hi, you don't need to feel anxious about telling him about your relationship. Just light the green lights and let him ride the story. If you didn't go to drink something yet, seek for the opportunities. If you do, show him your attention and let him make the move. Forget about your relationship. He may not ask about that at all. If he does you can tell you're in an open relationship so it's okay. That's all. Just let him ride. If he's not interested to progress you won't be risking much since you don't make the risky move.

I don't think you have to end your relationship first. It may be a mistake but it's the one you can only know by experiencing it. The only thing you should be careful is the work. Having affairs at work may make it awkward whether there's a relationship or just attention. You can think and Google having relationship, hook ups at work to see what can happen in the upcoming weeks.

Have fun.

2jzet · 2021-11-07T08:53:21+00:00

Just catch up with work guy for a couple of drinks and lay everything on the table. Open communication is key but a couple of drinks might make the conversation to action transition a little smoother. But really do ensure your current bf is totally cool with the open relationship status and isn't just getting cucked because you have 6 years worth of history to be considerate of etc. Good luck, enjoy your new experiences, as others have said though, be careful shitting where you eat, fucking workmates can lead to awkwardness, cringey gossip, meetings with HR, babies (have seen that before, imagine what her husband thought lol) or just no job at all.

PaqS18 · 2021-11-07T08:46:38+00:00

If he wants something he’ll make a move..

YeahSorry · 2021-11-07T15:55:29+00:00

There are so many comments telling OP that she shouldn’t have an open relationship and that it will be the end of her relationship.

Imagine the audacity it must take to assume that your preferred relationship structure is superior and best for all people all the time. If anything, the comments show that OP should be careful about who she tells - the world is full of people who will immediately project their own bullshit onto her relationships.

MrMacDoctor · 2021-11-07T08:34:07+00:00

Hold eye contact while twirling your hair n biting your lip. You don't have to say a word.

BURnTHeHEDGES · 2021-11-07T04:55:06+00:00

Sexual innuendos, flirtatious gestures, body language... it isn't rocket science... just social science... 😁

AJAY_SS · 2021-11-07T13:06:39+00:00

It is pretty vulnerable from your side as he might reject you, which is scary. But just tell him what you're about.

NBiondo826 · 2021-11-07T14:08:23+00:00

This is cheating

Luchostil · 2021-11-07T14:21:58+00:00

So many moral comments, just insecurity, fuck them all.

Tell him the truth, he will be relief. If you take the initiative to speak, he will follow, but dont make a move, you dont know if the guy is gonna fall, you dont want that problem.

Dracron · 2021-11-07T09:49:52+00:00

Honestly, I think you should just see if you can have a conversation outside of work(either going to coffee catching a ride home with him or the other way around or start texting him), and take the conversation as naturally as you can, which for your first conversation like this will always be awkward. Flirt the same way you always do, and then mention that you are in a open-relationship. Stay honest about it and answer what questions he might have about your situation that you are comfortable with. Finish off by asking if the two of you could hang out sometime. It should work from there.

As for the original relationship, just keep honest communication and be ready for some jealousy and as long as you are willing to work on what your partner needs to have happen for some mitigation. When you first open a relationship up, there will usually be some feelings that happen that neither person is ready for, but as long as you clearly want that relationship to work and you are meeting each others needs in a healthy way, it can work. It helps to be ready/able to close up again if one person gets too uncomfortable.

This is a place where generally men whether they are male sluts or not come for advice, so don't get discouraged by all the people pretending they are prudes here.

HerminnieHermione · 2021-11-07T10:11:18+00:00

You should probably ask this in r/polyamory tbh. They'll give you advice chuck.

twogirlsonecuck · 2021-11-07T11:21:59+00:00

As others of said shitting where you eat can only go south. Not worth it, been there done that and it can turn into a nightmare.

Askin_MrBrooks · 2021-11-07T14:11:51+00:00

Just remember, it can’t be undone. So if you decide to bang this guy, and then your boyfriend finds a hot babe, don’t be upset when he does the same thing you did.

puttinthe-oo-incool · 2021-11-07T14:16:24+00:00

Like others have said.... keep lifestyle and work separate. Even if it doesn’t threaten your job...and it probably would...it could make thungs very awkward with other workers and your boyfriend...even if he is into this might feel differently about the open relationship if he starts thinking that every day at work during lunch...yin are sneaking off for a quickie with a coworker.

Chronfidence · 2021-11-07T14:41:08+00:00

Holy shit people like you exist

TallSwaggOVO · 2021-11-07T14:49:27+00:00

Not gonna lie, the fact that you brought up an open relationship and are already mentioning wanting to fuck a guy at your work isn’t a good sign for your relationship.

But don’t fuck a co-worker. Find somebody else to fuck.

kaptinkrunch13 · 2021-11-07T15:07:45+00:00

3 sum and you’re all happy …. Maybe …

Accomplished_Pin5053 · 2021-11-07T15:09:57+00:00

dont mix sex at where you work at. It's a career fail

Y_Moya_C · 2021-11-07T15:12:49+00:00

Maybe r/polyamoryR4R is a better option to ask this question... probably asking people who live in open/poly relatonships is a better idea. You will get advice from their experience. Also r/Swingers could bring you good info...

Hope this helps!

iclap2fap · 2021-11-07T15:23:02+00:00

Im so glad ima douchebag

Ones__Complement · 2021-11-07T15:23:54+00:00

Gross and degenerate.

Ewait393 · 2021-11-07T15:25:14+00:00

Nah this is messed up, she just wants to cheat and get away with it.

boofcan · 2021-11-07T15:28:24+00:00

You just need to break off the relationship. This is just cheating while trying to keep your current relationship.

ChurchofCaboose1 · 2021-11-07T16:25:55+00:00

I don't know how people do open relationships tbh. I sure couldn't be ok knowing my girlfriend is doing something with others while with me that is very personal and intimate to me. Fair warning, it does seem that open relationships have their challenges. Y'all do what makes you happy. If you want this, who am I to tell you what to do or not do.

As for this guy, you could just tell him. I know I'd want to know. Few pains were worse than doing something with a girl then she drops "btw my boyfriend is deployed" or "I have a boyfriend." I think if you really wanna take on the risks of having sex with someone you work with, then you gotta tell him upfront about your open relationship.

Yokowi · 2021-11-07T16:26:07+00:00

Roiiight,so you're 21, together since 15. You have a colegue you wanna fuck,so you asked your bf to "open up the relationship",so it's not "technically" cheating 😅😅 In case it backfires with the colegue,you still have a bf that- i am sure-would be very happy to hear this lil story 😂

Nearby_Advance7443 · 2021-11-07T16:34:01+00:00

Yes obviously you shouldn’t screw a co-worker, but that is common knowledge that goes out the door by most people even if they live by it. I’ve seen people who espouse that wisdom break the rule time and time again, especially if there’s relationship building chemistry. Not that that last part applies to you. So if you can control yourself, it might be best to refrain.

But if you’re like most humans and want to do it anyways, the question you’re actually asking (“How do I tell him I’m in an open relationship?”) is making it much more complicated than it needs to be. Firstly, just start a dialogue with him, about anything. When you see a window in said dialogue, ask him to hang out. When you’re hanging out and you feel a window into physicality, make a move (or let him make a move).

If he asks about your boyfriend, tell him what you will. But, as a guy who’s both been cheated on and has fucked somebody else’s girlfriend, us men are power-hungry as fuck. And there’s something hugely powerful about fucking somebody else’s girlfriend. There’s a huge chance he’ll still be down for it even without knowing about your open relationship. But, if he is somebody that that is a huge moral issue with, just tell him when he asks. If you want to make the sex even hotter though, lie and say something like, “My boyfriend’s not here right now” or “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Don’t believe me? Watch how hard he gets while blowing him with your boyfriend on the phone at the same time.

MustKnowTruth · 2021-11-07T16:41:40+00:00

You should drop a comment that you're going to stop someplace to have a drink after work. Mention that you are nervous going to a bar by yourself. If he picks up on it he'll say something like "I'll stop by for a drink". Once that's worked out, the two of you will end up chilling in a bar having a few cocktails... Nature takes over from there, especially with a few drinks! If he's the man you're looking for, you won't have to do or say anything you're not comfortable with, because It won't be long and most of the blood in his body will be flowing into his cock. If it's moving slower than you would like, the only thing you should have to do is occasionally touch his hand, or as you walk past and put your hand on his shoulder and say I'll be right back (when you're going to the bathroom). Guys pick up very quickly on the subtle flirtations of women... Just an occasional touch for a couple seconds. Do that every once in awhile, and be certain that you're making eye contact with him whenever either one of you are talking.

Concentrate on being authentic and being yourself. Don't make up any stories, just be honest and if you get the courage, tell him that you're very attracted to him. When possible, mention your open relationship situation. You'll be amazed at how easy this is. I would love to hear how it goes... I hope you'll contact me to let me know. Of course, if you'd like I'd be happy to chat with you before you create your plan. It would be fun to flirt, I'd be happy to "practice" with you!

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	190
Comments	223
Date	November 7, 2021 1:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qoeo0b/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1272816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272816

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