[deleted by user]

Therocksays2020 · 2021-11-02T06:28:32+00:00

Why did you set the date so far out? You definitely need to check in every few days. I hope the date actually happens but generally you don’t want your dates more than 5 days out. Way too easy for them to flake or find someone else.

SoA_MC · 2021-11-02T12:04:12+00:00

Small talk and “checking in” will do one of two things:

1: nothing

2: lower her interest

It will not make her more interested. Her decision to see you is based on your looks and communication up the point that she agreed to meet.

delux2471 · 2021-11-02T11:22:47+00:00

This thread honestly makes me think that I wish I was as good at establishing relationships as I am add just getting a girl to have sex from these apps. Not trying to sound holier than thou at all but I turned 30 this year, the empty feeling after random sex isn’t really my cup of tea anymore. Just surprises me that it’s more difficult to establish an actual relationship than it is to just get some ass nowadays.

NinjaTurtle2077 · 2021-11-02T12:38:46+00:00

Usually it’s best to set a date asap, the long wait can create problems. I suggest if you don’t know what to say to be careful as you can easily create a platonic or she gets bored of you.

Kay1000RR · 2021-11-02T16:10:28+00:00

You're overthinking it. If she's into you as much as you're into her, then everything will be ok. Message her whenever you feel like with whatever you want. If she doesn't even have the empathy to recognize you're trying your best, then she's showing a negative trait isn't she? If she likes you, she won't care. Don't try too hard and put on an act. You both will eventually break character. Might as well be yourself from the get go, even if you come across as nervous and awkward. That's still you.

kaitp13 · 2021-11-02T17:58:15+00:00

Definitely keep messaging her! Even small talk can lead to getting to know each other better! You could play 20 questions or something similar. My boyfriend and I talked for a whole month before finally going on a date because he had a back injury. If he hadn't had kept talking to me I would've lost interest

delux2471 · 2021-11-02T06:56:12+00:00

Like should I just be totally transparent like “ I never really have had a gap like this before I’ve had to meet someone so I’m not sure whether to message you or not sometimes” or should I just talk about some bullshit like the weather or ask what she did on Halloween?

LawfulnessLow7794 · 2021-11-02T14:19:52+00:00

Heres the mindset you should follow to optimize your frame and dating life.

Objective of a dating app is to fetch the number as soon as possible, lesser the no. Of days/no. Of mssgs to get the number more the interest.
Objective of a number is to fetch a date. Lesser the banter to set up a date, more is the interest.
Objective of a date, is to get laid as fast as possible. At most give it 3 tries(as in 3 date meeting s) If within 3 she doesn't show signs of physical intimacy, you are her food stamp. Cut out.

And what Happens after getting laid is upto to you. Ghost her, have her as a fwb or vet her for a potential relationship. But never lose frame. Be prepared to walk out at any moment.

Now coming back to your initial question, whether you should keep chatting her up, after the date is set. Answer : No, more you speak, the more interests fades away, the more gets revealed, the lesser the no. Of topics for date night, more chances of awkward silence. Save it for the date. Don't text, Don't reply, just say, "You seem very interested for our day out, so am I. But am afraid, I have some stuff, I gotta sort out before. Will talk to you on the day." if she keeps bothering you. And remember to confirm that she is actually showing up, on the date morning or the day before. You don't wanna be flaked on, on spot.

Cheers.

KingoftheNorth412 · 2021-11-02T13:36:53+00:00

I find it hard to believe you guys couldn’t find ONE HOUR over 2 weeks to get together. Coffee date is a perfect first date.

Honestly, it is what it is with this one but learn from this for your next match. Set up dates quicker and sooner. Too much texting and back and forth leads to friendzone.

a-little-spice · 2021-11-02T16:09:59+00:00

Yes. Not talking for two weeks will make her lose interest

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-02T15:13:11+00:00

See you in a couple of weeks crying how to get this girl back after her ghosting you.

Orange-of-Cthulhu · 2021-11-02T10:43:01+00:00

I would spend the time on sexual messaging so I know already before the meetup if she's into getting sex.

Anyway I would never wait. Whatever you're comfortable about doing online, do it now before the date. That way you have some stuff " out of the way" already on the date and you'll have more to talk about, it will be much more energized than if you don't talk much to her in the meantime.

If you blow it online it would probably blow on the date anyway. So just move forwards now and don't wait, never wait, waiting is bad.

With 2 weeks of waiting time I'd probably not even want to show up on the date if we weren't already sexting.

Ecstatic-Flounder-48 · 2021-11-02T14:04:15+00:00

2 weeks? that's not happening, lmao.

Miguel_Legacy · 2021-11-02T17:51:10+00:00

How did you even find a cutie on hinge. The second I downloaded the app I only ever saw the most ugly, fat girls you can imagine

Teamtoast · 2021-11-02T16:41:08+00:00

I agree with most of the comments here that 2 weeks is too long. You should be able to find 30mins-1hour for a quick coffee ? Otherwise how would it ever work? Second of all, it doesn’t actually matter. Since your mindset should be living your life- not focussing on an event in 2 weeks time with someone you’ve not met before. That shouldn’t be your top priority

12amoore · 2021-11-02T17:04:23+00:00

Bro why so far out? You couldn’t make it for the weekend coming up or mid next week? 2 weeks is a long time

willgo-waggins · 2021-11-02T17:27:23+00:00

Wow WAY too much time for no actual contact first.

If you had met at a party or in a club that would still be pushing it.

My current girl and I met at a party and then got together the following weekend and slept together our first time. Kept in touch by a few texts during the week.

Remember out of sight out of mind.

You can build up sexual tension by asking about what she likes or being sexy flirty and slowly escalating.

Or you can just fish for what she likes to do, ask about her family/background or such and work into conversation that way.

I would absolutely opt for phone or face time over text if you can.

lefthandedaf · 2021-11-02T17:53:01+00:00

Two weeks out? Don’t count on her not flaking. There’s a good chance that a flake is coming. Never get your hopes up for anyone you haven’t met yet. But to answer your question, yes you should send her a quick message here and there, maybe every four days.

ksmith11011 · 2021-11-02T18:04:02+00:00

There’s almost no chance you’ll be going on the date that far away if you don’t get a rapport going before then. Generally it’s advised not to but in this instance I think you should go with your gut and just talk to her

Ketchup571 · 2021-11-02T19:05:13+00:00

Two weeks is too far out. I hate to tell you this, but date probably won’t happen

wordypropensity518 · 2021-11-02T21:20:47+00:00

You found a cutie on hinge?

2021-11-02T21:46:45+00:00

Given you've set it at 2 weeks in advance assume it porbably won't happen. Ideally you should be aiming for dates to be no later than 2 days after agreeing to the date. There's a huge number of men lining up to meet her on ginge as we speak.

Personally I'd drop in once or twice. Try and do it in a non- needy way. Maybe sharing something funny,just to check she's still interested.

Edit: I see that the OP has rescheduled which was a smart move.

msm0ch4 · 2021-11-06T05:37:49+00:00

Um I'm a woman, loves it when you message daily in the morning to check up on us and to ask what we're upto and just to show you care. When you care just through text and show that your interested more then just sex dude your really gonna get laid trust me! We love it both ways! But if you show your too cocky and your ignoring you'll make it worst for yourself! Anyways if you all are reading feel free to ask me some dating tips! 💋 my ex use to ignore me so much it fuckin hurts and he only calls once a month comes over wanna fuck and I felt used and unloved but now I realize I should've just enjoyed some orgasm too oh wells he left me sadly.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	58
Comments	103
Date	November 2, 2021 6:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qkxxqh/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1273095 https://theredarchive.com/post/1273095

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