Did I do the right thing?

thatguywelb · 2018-04-03T22:45:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Kenic_In_MD · 2018-04-03T22:49:25+00:00

. Did walking away in this instance make me look more attractive?

I say you done did good. Leave her alone until she is available for you.

zfgee · 2018-04-03T23:54:07+00:00

She MAY or MAY not have a boyfriend. If she does, she may be looking for an upgrade, or some variety.

You did the right thing by being upfront and direct about your intentions and "walking away". It shows you are not needy and have options. Well done. Now, go find some other women.

Kayyam · 2018-04-04T01:38:06+00:00

You shouldn't concern yourself with her opinion of you. Did you act according to how you felt? Or did you act in hopes of triggering a reaction from her (like her realizing how much of a catch you are and dropping her bf for you)?

If you truly were not interested on sleeping with her while she was on a relationship, you did good. What she thinks should have 0 importance on your frame of mind.

westdonkeykong · 2018-04-04T01:45:00+00:00

I once found an ex flirting with dudes on Snapchat and Instagram like this. She's an ex for a reason, turns out she was mentally unstable.

So yes, do that guy a favor and pursue her harder.

V4refugee · 2018-04-04T03:54:50+00:00

You probably did yourself a favor but It’s not unlikely that she still would have fucked. Her current relationship could be either open or not too serious or she was lying or whatever. If you were cool with banging her under those conditions then you fucked up. No point in leaving it open because she will still be that same person when she ends her current relationship. You’re either cool with a girl like that or you tell her straight up that if she single and wants to fool around then you don’t mind fooling around when she’s single. No real point to leave the possibility of an actual monogamous relationship open. She’ll probably act the same way with you and you don’t seem to be the type of person to be ok with that. If you were, you probably wouldn’t have turned her down for having a boyfriend.

Dallas_Stars_Fan · 2018-04-04T02:01:14+00:00

Yes.

cbh28 · 2018-04-04T12:04:09+00:00

It was good for you to walk away, but you left the door open. Do you really want to be with a girl who flirts with other guys while in a relationship? I don't know what your intentions are with her, but if you want something serious, she doesn't seem like the right type. If you just want sex, then I guess you can go for her once she's single, though I personally wouldn't. I'd drop her instantly.

abbehardy · 2018-04-04T14:31:28+00:00

Don't be logical! If you guys are flirting super hard, don't even talk about what you want or desire for you and her. Just tell her to meet you for coffee or a drink or whatever. Then you take action with her if you really like her (take her back to your place and have sex) Walking away is doing nobody a favour. Lots of guys and girls are with someone that's not the right fit for them. If you can do better why not.

Maybe she would enjoy hanging out with you a lot more. I never understood the "I'm walking away because of moral high ground" kind of situation. If you like the girl, you mean well and you want to show her a good time. Why not?

If you plan to have sex with her for validation ego and never plan to hit her up again. Then leave it alone. But I'm assuming you have good intentions.

Freeflower · 2018-04-04T02:05:30+00:00

I’m a female, and yes

Cruisin_Fart · 2018-04-04T04:57:02+00:00

I had a similar situation. Met a girl, asked her out, she had a bf. She said she hoped we could still be buds. I didn't respond to that and moved on. What I did do, is I kept a friendly presence just in case, liking her posts, inviting her to group events, etc, just showing continued interest. This was almost 3 years ago. About three weeks ago, she hits me up out of the blue and asks if I remembered when I asked her out. Had a date two days later, and continue to have dates. So yeah, don't worry about it too much.

stinger7720 · 2018-04-04T05:12:47+00:00

Don’t get emotionally connected with that girl. You dodged a bullet really right now. Even if you get to date her, be careful

jessah · 2018-04-04T06:36:54+00:00

My man! You did good!

TheRedPrince99 · 2018-04-04T06:59:10+00:00

I say you did good walking away but hopefully she’s a plate your spinning when she comes to you after her break up. (If she even does.) You don’t wanna be a rebound

HairlessGreek · 2018-04-04T07:13:32+00:00

What you did is alright just don’t let it get to the point in which she knows that you’re gonna be waiting for her as soon as her relationship with her bf goes bad. For example, if they break up and then she comes to you, she might just be using you as a rebound and you can cuck yourself by giving her attention because she might just get back with her ex while she’s “with” you. If that happens, she’ll probably try to hit you up when shit goes bad again but this time don’t get her a chance.

Shazambom · 2018-04-04T07:17:08+00:00

Not only did you make the right decision, you also avoided wasting time and a low likely prospect and you did the right thing. FeelsGoodMan

Edit: also who wants to be with a girl who flirts a lot behind her bf's back

Dadoma · 2018-04-04T08:20:49+00:00

I say you did good. Option 2 would be to get her to cheat on her BF if you just agreed and amplified.

Dating973 · 2018-04-04T14:06:06+00:00

Yes I think it does. But don’t secretly hold on to this one even though you walked away

DaddyB0d · 2018-04-04T14:18:15+00:00

One perspective: Good decision, right action. Chasing girls who are in relationships is bad karma. You wouldn't want your g/f cheating, cheating on another dude's g/f is scummy. Those kind of women are untrustworthy, and are drama-machines that will bring chaos into your life. "Cool. Call me when you're single"

Another perspective: Love is a free market. Just because she's with someone else right now doesn't mean he's the best choice. She's going to fuck someone else anyway, might as well be you. "Boyfriend? That's perfectly fine. I'll still have a drink with you."

It depends on what kind of man you aspire to be.

GET_IN_THE_VAN · 2018-04-05T04:39:23+00:00

yeah man you're good

LowKeyCowey · 2018-04-04T12:29:31+00:00

You were assertive and stated that you aren't settling for what you get, but will only settle for what you want. Yes you appeared more attractive. You did just what I would good job lol

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-04-04T00:35:38+00:00

You shouldn't have done that "if you become single, call me". That puts you in a weak, passive position.

hans1193 · 2018-04-04T05:58:20+00:00

Why do you care if she has a boyfriend, she clearly doesn’t. You made yourself supremely unattractive by not just going for it. Best move when a girl says she has a boyfriend in this situation is to play it off like you didn’t hear her.

Greek-God-Brody · 2018-04-04T07:22:15+00:00

You did wrong. Next time: treat it as a shit test, and keep gaming her.

You don't have to logically explain to her that you want to fuck her. Just keep escalating and go for the close.

AshyBoneVR4 · 2018-04-04T09:04:02+00:00

Yes because she was only going to use you for the attention. When her boyfriend isn't giving her enough validation/attention that's when she turns to her fleet of orbiters/dude-pool. You're not the only guy she was doing this with, and you're not going to be the last. She's probably thinking you're going to hit her up in the next couple of weeks. You did the right thing both morally and for yourself. I'm proud of you reddit dude stranger.

jeffiet · 2018-04-04T14:52:34+00:00

IHAB shit test. I think you failed.

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/07/20/i-have-a-boyfriend-responses/

ReallyGrounded · 2018-04-04T17:51:33+00:00

I don't care if a woman has a boy friend. I'll still hangout with her and do stuff. Be her friend. I'm not waiting around for her though. Just keeping her as an option for when she's ready. I'm still getting with other women. The cool thing is, if she's attracted to you, she'll introduce you to her hot single friends. Don't discount the friendzone. If dating was like sales, it's another lead generation method.

Title	Did I do the right thing?
Author	tyler2733
Upvotes	138
Comments	57
Date	April 3, 2018 10:36 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/89jil3/did_i_do_the_right_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/did-i-do-the-right-thing.1444236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444236

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