Frustrated with no hookups while in my mind there are things happening, people are getting laid.

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-05-20T07:34:13+00:00

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Rhino3750ss · 2025-05-19T15:09:50+00:00

Frustration leads to urgency, and women dry up when they sense that urgency because they feel you aren't preselected despite any positive attributes you may have.

You have to have zero care for all possible outcomes, you can't give a shit if you get laid or not.

The best cure for frustration is to have higher priorities. There exists men who turn down pussy when they have to because it's a distraction for them. You want to be one of those.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-19T14:11:51+00:00

"i know everyone is getting laid regularly"

That's where you went very, very wrong.

The average single guy gets laid less than once per year.

pastor-of-muppets69 · 2025-05-19T14:38:24+00:00

Hooking up regularly is very hard unless you're very attractive. Much easier is having short, 2 week "flings" with women. The big barriers to hooking up are comfort and screening, two things "dates" take care of for you. Go on dates and pull women home on the first night. It's not a "hookup" per se, but is actually better imo. It's also 1000% easier than convincing some random girl to come home with you in under 2 hours.

If you are a hookup purist, the very fact that you aren't willing to go to the club multiple times a week and get your reps in indicates you aren't cut out for it.

StepGeneral3597 · 2025-05-19T15:43:06+00:00

Are you approaching many girls a night? Are you escalating? Are you trying to pull? At least 1/20-30 girls in my experience will likely be down to go home or at least grab their number to go on a date later.

A1Horizon · 2025-05-19T15:37:50+00:00

people are getting laid

Ok? And billionaires are riding around on private yachts while you aren’t. Why are the going’s on of other people your concern? Control what you can control. Shifting your focus away from others will reduce your frustration

BritishBatman · 2025-05-19T16:39:57+00:00

You’re watching too many movies or TV shows where hookups happen in bushes and alleyways, or reading too many stories on here, that are 1. Mostly made up, or at the very least embellished or 2. Told by guys who are very very attractive

As I said, most are 1, so take them with a massive pinch of salt. For 2, us average/above average Joes are never gonna experience what these guys do.

Comparison is the thief of joy my friend.

CrazyRepulsive8244 · 2025-05-19T14:13:00+00:00

That's just how it is.

Work on your game and yourself the best you can.

When you're older the urges go away because it's mostly just your testosterone. Once you get around 30 you care a lot less.

Money is better than women

SaajwinA · 2025-05-19T16:36:33+00:00

Take a deep breath. Ik it’s frustrating when you look at your friends and they’re fucking left right and centre and it’s ok. Having a good diet and workout plan is only good for you. Your future self will thank you for it. This where you’re going wrong That is you’re missing out on 60% of the girls. Trust me ik hate nightlife and alcohol but this what I do I call my trusted friends and go out to the club with the goal of having fun and when I’m offered a drink I just simply say I don’t like alcohol with confidence and they will respect you for it. Now if im talking to a girl I always use push and pull method this will create that ups and downs with is fun for the girls. Now if the convo is going good introduce indirect sex topics to test the waters a bit don’t say I wanna duck you tonight right away. I’m 22 year old so I don’t have the years and years of experience but so far it has worked for me

blackhawk8427 · 2025-05-19T17:12:58+00:00

You're doing way better than me dude. I haven't had a relationship in about 2 years now, and I think one "hookup" in that time (got a massage and she got turned on and, well, asked me to f&#@ her lol). Exactly ZERO of my friends are getting laid either... Hell none of us can even get DATES. I at least can get matches on apps (not a lot, maybe 1-3 per month) but since 95% go nowhere fast, it doesn't do a lot of good. I haven't had any luck going out to bars either.

Ulanyouknow · 2025-05-19T17:33:52+00:00

Look man, you should listen to most of the advice you have received here. Specially read around scarcity mindset and abundance mentality. Desperation is something that permeates every single facet of your body and behaviour and girls have a sixth sense for it.

Get rid of it, relax and smile. Specially relax.

Also, as someone who lives in Hamburg I have to say, south asian student living in München... Don't be too hard on yourself. You are playing hard mode my dude. Its not you. Stick with your asian friends if they are more successful and don't be afraid to ask and mimic their behaviour. As someone of a more exotic place, you can use that to your advantage. It is very polarizing. Some people will never give you the time of day, some people will absolutely love it. But you will have to work hard for it.

A very important step is to get yourself in a place where you can be social and its coed. If the only thing you do is go from work/uni to home, to the gym where you don't speak with anybody, to meeting the same group of friends who are already taken and there is no rotation, you will never get to anything. You may be the finest man in the world and nobody will know. Get out. Get into nightgame, clubbing and partying or get into daygame and join language exchanges, bookclubs, volunteering, running clubs, bouldering, or just go around the mall speaking to people you find interesting, but get out.

Key-Aioli-3703 · 2025-05-19T18:15:06+00:00

You have two major issues for what I just read: You pity yourself, so you lack confidence, and with that attitude, you will never get what you want. And you assume that everyone around you are succeding and you blame them, so your perception is distorted and wrong.

You have a lot to improve buddy, but I tell you this: Unless you fix those major problems, forget about dates, hookups and sexual interactions.

dudeinthehood · 2025-05-19T21:50:33+00:00

You live in Munich. One of the best summer vibes in Europe. Every babe is in English Garden and Isar waiting to be approached.

Go to bahnverter thiel and talk to some people. If you think you can outswag your black competitors, go to lucky who.

Can’t do night game? Feel like a creep approaching babes in bikini? Go to Lost weekend. If you can’t pull from Lost weekend, you have some inner work to do first.

Chance-Art-2079 · 2025-05-19T16:07:24+00:00

Honestly if you want to hook up with girls you're gonna have a much easier time if you go out. Context matters a lot and most of the time when I hook up with a girl the night I meet her, it was from some party or some club. I'm sure it's possible but I've never done so off of an app or meeting at a more casual setting.

ultraex2 · 2025-05-19T16:49:49+00:00

How many leads are you getting per week? Once you have your stuff together, which it sounds like you do, it's a numbers game.

Phuffu · 2025-05-19T17:10:27+00:00

Go on tinder, playing the numbers game, be up front that you are looking for casual fun. Don’t be creepy.

I get it, when it works it feels so easy and when it doesn’t it’s frustrating. But it really is just a numbers game imo you gotta keep at it.

In my experience idk if it’ll work for you ^{^{^}}

deltascorpion · 2025-05-19T17:13:57+00:00

2 tips for you, my friend.

Drunk chicks
From out of town!

Existing-Big-3039 · 2025-05-19T19:39:34+00:00

Try not being laid for eight years, pal.

ShreddedScientist · 2025-05-19T21:21:56+00:00

Women are the biggest distractors of life and fulfilling your greatest achievements. What you’re describing btw is like those trashy TV hookup shows, do you really want to have sex with a woman like that?

FrogsAesthetics · 2025-05-19T18:47:50+00:00

Consider returning to South Asia

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-05-19T16:40:51+00:00

Definitely not everyone. Coupe people commented that and I agree. It’s way less than y think. 2 relationships in a year is actually quite good. Not sure who your thinking is doing a lot more than that

BigusDickus099 · 2025-05-19T17:47:56+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy

Or in this case, comparison is the thief of getting laid.

In the words of some druggie ex football quarterback, R-E-L-A-X.

It sounds like you're definitely trying too hard to compare yourself to others.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-05-19T17:55:17+00:00

If you just want casual hookups you pretty much have to drink and be in the bar/club scene. High double digit body count (also south Asian but live in America) and only 1 of my hookups was dead sober. Alcohol was involved to some degree in every other instance I slept with a woman for the first time.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-19T19:35:18+00:00

Stop comparing yourself to others. And quit focusing so much on results / having sex. I was married and my ex-wife and I had sex probably over 2000+ times. So what? Look for happiness and self empowerment. If you can find a woman who makes you happy and you also really enjoy the sex, then that's a nice bonus. But try to have more 3D goals beyond win:loss records. You're dating, not prize fighting.

InevitableNet5712 · 2025-05-19T19:55:53+00:00

I’ve been the player and slept around but it doesn’t fulfill anything in your life most of the time. It may make you cooler to guy friends. Most people not all, that casually hook up all the time have some type of trauma or unresolved issue from their past. Being in a relationship and sleeping with someone I have a connection to gives me way more pleasure and happiness than the casual hookup. I’m 45, I may have a different perspective than you. But I’ve had a different woman in my bed 7 days straight before but having 1 I actually like and care for is so much more fulfilling.

Pedro_Moona · 2025-05-19T22:17:07+00:00

I'm a pretty good looking guy, and frankly, I've had one girl in my entire life that wanted to just hook up. Every time I got late I was dating, and it was a relationship short like you're talking about.

theveganshaper36 · 2025-05-20T00:31:06+00:00

You aint missing nothing dude relax, i had 2 different girls last week and everytime after hooking up i just feel empty af, im doing all that cause i just got out of a serious relationship and what im really craving os connection and intimacy, sex is 1000 times better million times better with connection than just a random night hookup, also i dont know about you but sexual energy is important you create life with that so at least use it with the right people, but one night girls are all trash and for the streets trust this is not the path you want to follow.

Unhappy_Meaning607 · 2025-05-20T01:36:31+00:00

What I'm not hearing is if you are at least trying to develop new relationships with people. Are you meeting potential dates through your friends? Are you meeting people through your hobbies? Are you cold approaching women that you are physically attracted to?

Just because men go out to clubs doesn't automatically get them laid. I've seen men develop relationships and friendships with women at Pokemon GO meet ups and run clubs.

Puzzleheaded_Back181 · 2025-05-20T04:00:27+00:00

Get a nice haircut, drive a nice/ish car, dress good, smell good, take a girl out on a date, open every door, pay everything, treat her like a princess and treat her to some tiny gifts here and there.

You will get laid trust me, I’m 245 pounds 5’7 with a albeit decently cute face (debatable), I’m so awkward and anxious sometimes I wonder if I’m autistic and I’ve had no problems getting laid on the first date.

“Ohhh well it’s sooo much moneyyy”

It’s really only expensive for the first or second date and even then it doesn’t have to be if you just do something simple, the gifts can be stupid and inexpensive just make sure to knock it out of the park the first time you get laid, if your D game ain’t there yet learn how to be a good eater, do intense cardio every day if you know it can happen soon or do it every other day to keep your stamina and blood flow high it helps tremendously trust me if it helps a morbidly obese man it will help you, a lil blue pill don’t hurt no one you need to make her want you sexually after that you basically are golden and you can pretty much Uber her to your house and back lmao, once you have three or four consecutively on your phone it feels like a unlimited money glitch.

Hopefully you will fall in love with one of them, if not that’s fine y’all had fun, if a fat 5’7 spic with a barely above minimum wage job can do it you can too!.

Title	Frustrated with no hookups while in my mind there are things happening, people are getting laid.
Author	chocobar07
Upvotes	80
Comments	61
Date	May 19, 2025 2:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kqchu3/frustrated_with_no_hookups_while_in_my_mind_there/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/frustrated-with-no-hookups-while-in-my-mind-there.1552583 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552583

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