Girls flaking then coming back (Quick question, don't upvote)

Gidding · 2015-02-01T16:57:53+00:00

The point of reddit is to spread the good posts with everyone else.

This question can help a lot of people, so upvoting is encouraged.

For the question itself, ignore her.

She totally ditched you and now she only wants attention. Nothing good is coming from it. There are so many more girls out there and she is definitely not worth it.

thepillwastaken · 2015-02-02T02:43:57+00:00

I can't believe you responded that way to a girl that flaked on you that hard.

Thats the ultimate nice guy response with a wink face at the end. Cringe.

You should have said - "who is this?".

I mean you claim to have deleted her number yet you know who it is 5 months later? I can't even understand how that is possible.

meukow · 2015-02-01T19:11:25+00:00

Holy shit I'd be such a massive dick, please be a massive dick, might get you laid too.

ninnu · 2015-02-01T17:00:04+00:00

I'd next her. It seems like you already did, too. Stick to that decision.

takatori · 2015-02-02T00:00:21+00:00

She's bored and wants to try the D she skipped over last time. Go for it, she wants to bang, guaranteed. If you're looking for a GF, though, don't get your hopes up.

Source: the number of times I've done this.

koncept61 · 2015-02-02T01:37:54+00:00

I've had girls come back years later for hook ups, play it cool OP see what happens

bananabreadmuffins · 2015-02-01T19:52:43+00:00

This is a result of Plan A not going as planned. Therefore call Plan B. You were an option. Next.

jdepps113 · 2015-02-02T02:26:40+00:00

Just text her at night and see if you can turn it into a booty call. Or when she texts you invite her over right then. Just say you're bored and ask if she wants to come over. It could work.

Don't even think about trying to set up a real date or make future plans. She's lost that privilege, and she'll probably flake again. Just shoot for immediate and I think it might work.

Fuck, say whatever. Nothing to lose. Maybe that's all she wants in the first place.

EDIT: a couple of words.

ILickPaperPlates2014 · 2015-02-02T04:07:58+00:00

I've come to the conclusion that women less than 24 years old are rarely capable of keeping plans. Especially if its dinner and movies set on a friday/saturday. Almost assured that something better will come up.

Regardless, if they flake on a date with warning, thats fine I'll reschedule, but you're paying.

If they do it again, "but totally want to hang out ASAP", thats fine. But you're picking me up and paying. I'm also not dedicating a friday/saturday event to you.

freefromdesire · 2015-02-02T05:13:08+00:00

No point in being butt-hurt and thus aggressive about it (as several others are suggesting here). Handle the situation as a confident male with plenty of options (whether that is true or not is irrelevant). You're slightly excited that she's potentially back in the loop, but neither too excited nor vengeful. There's always a reason - the cat died, too much school work, on and off with an ex, feeling self-conscious and unattractive etc. No point in guessing that. Just accept that for whatever reason she stopped being interested in the past, and for whatever reason now, she's interested again. She texted you, months later, and since your only interaction is a romantic one, she's interested. You could wait a few days to see if she explains herself - if she doesn't, doesn't matter, you go ahead and ask her our/make plans. If she's the one who contacted you, 90% she's gonna be very responsive. good luck

Iloveyou-Iknow · 2015-02-01T23:19:35+00:00

girl at a club

There is your answer.

Why do you delete numbers? Does your phone have limited memory or something? I can see neediness here but what do you really expect from drunk, emotionally unstable and self esteem addict girls frequenting clubs? Flaking is their game, she gave her number to 18 other guys and made out with 5 more that night. If you want rarely-flaking, reliable , classy women: do daygame. Clubs are great for exercise but only that. You will not meet your dream woman or your wife at a club. Measure of success for a club is

A- Have you got good practice? B- Have you taken her back home to fuck?

If you got A, great. If you got A and B, even better.

I had club girls call me 2 years later as if we're old time buddies, or as if we hang out weekly. I had club girls call me in the middle of the night, drunk, asking if she can come over following a 6 months no-talk period. You can expect anything.

What I don't expect you to do is: give it a single spec of thought after you text a club girl, and she doesn't reply. Deleting numbers, getting frustrated angry and shit. Don't do that. Not with any woman, but especially not with party girls. There are club girls who specialize in flaking guys and get a buzz from it.

"Hey lets' meet at XX at 20:00" -> 20:05 "Hey I can't come my fuckbuddy came over :DDDD"

This shit HAPPENS. The best defense is not being needy, being completely outcome-independent.

busfullofjews · 2015-02-02T00:41:46+00:00

Don't tell me what to do!!

PubertEHumphrey · 2015-02-02T02:44:36+00:00

I would bone her then next her

drum_playing_twig · 2015-02-02T03:36:04+00:00

Have her come over, blow you, and then dump har like a bad habit.

Edit: Make sure she swallows.

metroddity · 2015-02-02T03:37:56+00:00

If you deleted her number why would you recognize her from a text immediately? I'd have been like "who are you?" Not to sound salty, that's just how it is, it's happened to me with two-week old numbers before.

iliketurtlesdurr · 2015-02-02T04:02:57+00:00

if she messaged you after 10pm, she wanted to fuck.

DesertFox1986 · 2015-02-02T05:00:50+00:00

I have come to expect half of women to flake on dates. I will usually set up a date, then double check the day before to make sure it's still on, then chances are good I will still get a text an hour or two before were set to meet saying she can't make it. Like I said, I have come to expect this so it doesn't really phase me anymore. Not giving a fuck about women flaking is part of the whole process of not giving a fuck. It's still a numbers game.

swishandswallow · 2015-02-02T06:19:44+00:00

She's move you to plan B status. You can keep going with her but you also have to move her to plan B status. The most you can expect is a fling, a fwb, or an non-relationship

gregariousbarbarian · 2015-02-03T05:28:37+00:00

She met a shinier guy than you around the same time, didn't work out, back-up plan

stylelife1234 · 2015-02-01T18:49:49+00:00

You are dealing with a Drama Queen. Run for the hills :D

midnightyeti · 2015-02-01T21:44:55+00:00

Tell her sorry you're not interested now, you have a girlfriend.

litigator675 · 2015-02-01T22:37:38+00:00

Don't be a doormat, you'll regret it.

extract_ · 2015-02-01T23:13:52+00:00

Fuck that bitch. Like /u/meukow said, be a dick.

flamingOreos · 2015-02-02T02:42:33+00:00

Do what she did to you to her. She stood you up now you do the same to her. Then you message her 5 months later

Mindsink · 2015-02-02T15:27:40+00:00

I once had a girl say she was going to call me back after breakfast. She never did. 2 weeks go by. She calls me out of the blue, we go out, I have a great time. I say, push to go out, make plans, if at any time she is hesitent and or flakes. Then just ignore her. Nothing to loose only to gain. You aren't head crazy so no danger. You already know what you are dealing with. Just be confident and advance through the escelation windows quickly.

playfulpenis · 2015-02-02T02:51:23+00:00

"And look who came craaawling back.."

gemini88mill · 2015-02-02T01:34:54+00:00

This girl is probably messaging you because she is at a party and wants to look busy. Your number in your phone just happened to appear in the contact list speed scroll.

The only other option that is plausible is that she was interested but on your date day she got a message back from something more enticing and spent the next 5 months with that guy. Something happened and now she is in her contact list black book so she can look important again. I would say since she is using you for wasting space and time you should do the same. Only message if you need to fill a room or you already have plans with people that you would rather be with and ask her of she wants to "tag along".

NotRealFakePerson · 2015-02-01T20:57:05+00:00

I believe texting (sadly) has become a crucial component of relationships today. I have learned my lesson the hard way over the past 6-7 years as i've grown up as the first generation to really face this problem. To give myself some credibility, about 6 years ago you would find me sending texts every 5 minutes when a girl wouldn't answer saying: Notification #1, Notification #2, and so on, but today I couldn't fathom sending that because it pretty much screws you over. As men, whether we like it or not we have to give chase and this is where I saw myself failing, and others failing as well. If she didn't text you back, it wasn't because she was waiting for you to 'say the right thing' or something like that, the harsh reality is she truly didn't want to text you, and that's just fine. It's no secret that women have more control in a sense over the relationship, I don't mean they dictate everything but usually it's their approval that we wait for. Keeping this in mind, we need to respect when they want to text and when they don't. It was a rocky road with my current girlfriend in the beginning because I would wait by phone for her texts, and pretty much distracted myself from everything that wasn't her, and it drove me nuts. Slowly she realized that I was at her mercy, and it completely turned her off and she actually became really dry and our conversations sucked. She reached out to you, so its ok in a few days to start a conversation, but just start with a simple Hey! or something like that, don't come on too strong. Ease into the conversation and dont force it, and by force it I simply mean don't ask more than one question at a time. All too often guys end up in a scenario where they will ask a question, and she will answer quite briefly, then he will ask another question and the cycle continues. That is a question period rather than conversation and girls hate that because they know that you are grasping at anything to keep talking. When the conversation dies, it dies and thats that. If she is actually interested she will reach out to you later. Also, spread the texts out a little, maybe take ten minutes then answer, to show that you have stuff going on even if you don't because this adds a little mystery as to what could be keeping you away from texting her. This sounds dumb but it works, I can vouch for it. I know im a little all over the place but I have so much to say about this. In regards to your question as of right now, go ahead and see if you can get a conversation going and simply slip in a question like "I'd like to see you!, want to meet ...". Don't be too eager and send a paragraph but just show that you still have interest, and if she doesn't answer or deflects the question don't worry, because you have done all you can do. If she wants to see you too she will send that message. Also, dont cling to every word and assume what tone or attitude each text seems to have because that will also drive you crazy.

wrdp · 2015-02-02T05:10:48+00:00

Don't waste your time.

Title	Girls flaking then coming back (Quick question, don't upvote)
Author	ruzanovsky
Upvotes	152
Comments	62
Date	February 1, 2015 4:25 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2uf19p/girls_flaking_then_coming_back_quick_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-flaking-then-coming-back-quick-question-dont.1383265 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383265

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