I made this comment in another thread the other day, people liked it and asked me to elaborate so here you go:
Giving women too much attention backfires.
When you're giving attention to a woman, it seems like a good idea. Everybody likes attention (for the most part), they appear to enjoy it, and you know you’re getting approval from them because they’re still talking to you. First mistake.
You're already in an "approval-seeking" mindset, which signals to women that you're not confident/secure in yourself. You cannot adopt an approval-seeking mindest and have consistent success attracting women. From the first-impression it is vital to communicate (with subtlety) that YOU are qualifying HER. An "approval-granting" mindest.
A good way to establish your "approval-granting" status is with humor. While the two of you are making small-talk ask her questions such as, "what's your favorite music genre?" - she says pop/top 40 - you respond with, "alright I guess we can be friends, if you said country I'd have to walk away, but if you had said classic rock I'd let you take me on a date".
This brief exchange accomplishes a lot simultaneously. You have immediately positioned yourself as the selector NOT the selectee. Good. You've thrown her a curve ball with the line, "I would have let YOU take ME on a date" - this swap of tradtional gender roles is actually gaining appeal in women and it doubles by illustrating that you won't be trying to buy her affection/attention by spending money on dates (at least not initially). And finally to drive it home you just put her in the friendzone. Pre-emptively friendzoning girls is almost always a good idea. It conveys that you have an abundance mentality (you have a lot of friends who are girls and they enjoy your company, ie; you are fun to be around) and that you also are not desperate or uncomfortable around girls. With some women this will even go one step further, as being put in the friendzone makes them question why you don't see them as relationship material, and can possibly encourage them to shift psychologically toward seeking your approval and proving they are "too good" for the friendzone. Personally I find friendzoning girls a much more preferable method of getting them to seek my approval over "negging".
Another easy way to establish this "approval-granting" mindset right off the bat is to be the one to bring the conversation to a close. Don't be too abrupt, but show that you have places to be (aka a life to live) and that your time is valuable. If you just continue talking until she's bored or until it becomes awkward that just comes across as you hanging on her every word. This is distinctly needy in nature and does the opposite of creating attraction.
Eben Pagan (who is kind of a doofus) does have this metaphor that I really like, "think of attention, compliments, physical affection and emotional attachment like firewood: a little at a time is perfect, but if you put it on all at once, you’re going to burn the house to the ground and destroy everything"
When you give a woman too much attention, it lowers the value of the attention you give her, making it very easy for her to take that attention (and you) for granted. In order to create attraction in women you need to cultivate a scarcity mentality in them when they think of you. Instant gratification kills long term enjoyment. By removing yourself from center-frame and standing in her peripheral, she has to make a conscious effort to focus on you. Your behavior has turned intriguing, mysterious, and challenging which is the bedrock of sparking attraction in women.
In the early stages of getting to know a woman, nine times out of ten, it is preferable for her to be wondering about you (who you are/what you're doing/who you're with) than to actually be spending that same amount of time in your presence. By doing this she is subconsciously becoming more emotionally invested in the outcome of the (fleeting) time you do share together. If you want a girl to like you, do yourself a favor and instead of making yourself available at her beck and call, go off on your own badass adventures and in so doing "give her the gift of missing you."
EDIT: Grammar
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