How do i stop getting so fustrated how bad i am with girls?

RhymesTimewithThyme · 2018-02-01T19:50:41+00:00

This is what you gotta do bro.

You gotta pick a card.

That card has to be gold card, and if you are level 16, it should stun her for 2 seconds.

Not really. I see you've been making posts here for a year about your woes. What you need to do is stop posting on Reddit, start going to the gym, read up on male fashion (if you're Korean this should be natural to you) and find a hobby.

Willbo · 2018-02-01T22:54:42+00:00

This is because you equate women with success and happiness way too much. You may think you hide it well, and you may not even be aware of it, but women are experts in seeing right through the bullshit and analyzing your emotional disposition.

From now on, every time you talk about yourself in a bad way or have a negative thought, it goes right out the fucking window and you replace it with something good about yourself. If you can't come up with a good thought about yourself within 10 seconds, get down and do 10 push ups. Every thought you have trains your mind. If you fill your head with negative thoughts of how you're frustrated and bad with women, you are going to train your mind, create a self fulfilling prophecy, and women will be repulsed. If you train your mind with love and confidence, women will take notice.

Work on your inner game, brother. Develop love for yourself, no matter how badly how things may appear. Fight for yourself because nobody else will. Respect your body, build your mind, sculpt yourself as a masterpiece, find value in yourself and others will follow.

Eskeeetiiit · 2018-02-01T16:58:18+00:00

That’s definitely not the way to get better, work on yourself and stop caring about women. Read up on inner game on the sidebar, girls should not affect your mentality.

ImJustSo · 2018-02-01T21:39:43+00:00

So here's how the process works.

You feed women A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. You notice that women like A, B, and C. They stop speaking to you if you mention G everytime. They don't seem to give a shit about D, E, and F.

Stop feeding them G.

Use D, E, and F sparingly.

Concentrate on A, B, C.

Next time you speak to a woman, you feed her A, B, C, D and choose between E or F. Then you test out H.

Fuck, B and H made her stop liking me, but the majority of other girls like B, but Idk about H. Well, I think I'm going to keep them anyways. Some girls just don't like B and H, noted. Need to try H more to find out, maybe it's just her thing she hates.

Next girl you feed her A, B, C, D, E, F and H. Girl hates H.

Ok, gonna stop feeding girls H.

You're still A through Z, but you know which things people don't like being given about you. You also know the things everyone seems to like, and you also know which things people don't give a shit about either way.

That's how the process works.

brizzlebrazzle2287 · 2018-02-01T22:14:47+00:00

This is side bar material man. Read it. Based on the way you've phrased the post, I can tell you lack: outcome independence, abundance mentality, to drop some terminology on you, and also you need to lose the "pity, poor me, I'm bad with girls bullshit". Grow the fuck up, hit the gym, and remember 2 little dictums:

ABC: Always Be Closing

If you want to catch a fish, ask a fisherman. Don't ask a fish.

_Jake_The_Snake_ · 2018-02-01T22:35:32+00:00

It helps to keep in mind that people do not do things as a reaction to you, they do it as a reaction to their own reality. While you might be messing up, it only matters that you feel like you are messing up. The likely chance is that you are not a very skilled or interesting person, so why would someone else (girl or not) think that you are? Even if you aren't an interesting, skilled person, at least be someone that people want to be around. You sound insufferable. You sound like you have a "woe is me" mentality. You even told us that you get frustrated easily. No one likes that, least of all you: that's the real reason you are posting. It's not because women don't like you: it's because you don't like you. If women liked you, you could ignore the fact that you don't like yourself for 10 or so years, but eventually you will have to reckon with that beast. Better make it today.

I like the guy who has a level head. I like the guy who can tell me the truth without always being a downer. I like the guy who works on being his best self and encourages me to do the same. Be that guy. Don't be so hard on yourself. When you feel yourself beginning to get frustrated: calm down. Do what you need to do to get your head on straight. Be less judgmental of your mistakes and start learning from them in a positive, constructive way. Get in your own corner. But keep fighting those dragons. Ask your friends what you could be doing better. Most people want to be a source of inspiration and knowledge for another person. Don't be clingy and needy, just let them play out their role for a bit, try out their advice, and report back. Keep failing, and build up a tolerance to rejection. Find the inner strength. Learn, grow, repeat. You got it.

baddog992 · 2018-02-01T21:18:47+00:00

Picking up and getting woman attracted to you is like any thing it takes work and practice. That means doing things different then the way you have been doing. Use the guides on here. Practice what is in those guides. It will feel weird at first. However just keep practicing and before long you will be doing it automatically.

If your looking for good books to read I do recommend the Author David D. Burns. His book changed my life for the better. It helped me get close friends and to get laid. However it took me changing my mental game and doing things different then what I had done before.

wongoli · 2018-02-01T19:43:13+00:00

Well you have to learn self acceptance. There is a girl out there that is crazy about you regardless of who you are because enjoy living as much as the next guy. Bro everyone at a human level is basically the same, we're all made out of the same shit and we all crawled out of a vagina, we all take a shit in the same toilet, we all have urges to blow our loads so who's really special out there? Stop thinking that you're a shitty person because we all work the same at the end of the day. Seek acceptance of yourself first, then you can talk to other people. REALLY PRACTICE THIS.

After that, you need to keep talking to girls until you get at least 1 positive interaction that you enjoyed doing. You're brain needs proof that women do desire you and that you enjoy being with a woman.

Look at the bright side, you're young, you know that you like women, and that you're willing to give it a try to improve yourself. Personally, I think anyone that see's that as a bad thing doesn't know shit.

circlhat · 2018-02-01T20:39:34+00:00

How are you approaching girls?

nighthawkphenom · 2018-02-01T21:48:31+00:00

Same advice applies for other things in life. If you care exclusively about the result, you miss a lot of the things in between. Focus on improvement and understanding what works and what doesn't. There's no cookie cutter formula for life. There's millions of people out there. Some will like you, others wont. Have fun. Don't take it too seriously and enjoy the journey.

readonlyuser · 2018-02-01T22:12:46+00:00

How many approaches are you doing a day /week? What's your close ratio?

i_pathfinder1 · 2018-02-01T22:14:10+00:00

Read stranger in a strange land by Robert heinlen, that's the approach you should have to pull hot girls authentically bro. Enjoy the young growth you have, This book will help you understand that it's ok to be young and new in your walk with girls :)) one of the awesomist things and thats intriguing is two young people in love as Solomon says,

Daydreamdev · 2018-02-01T23:56:30+00:00

Stop caring about what women want and do what you want . If they look you that's great! If they don't it's not a big deal.

redditingatwork23 · 2018-02-02T00:33:07+00:00

Here's the thing bud. Some people are naturally good and charismatic with women, and others just aren't. There's people on both sides of the fence with anything. You need to stop looking at this thing as something you need to master in a short month or two from reading a bunch of seddit posts. It's an unreasonable goal with far too large of a scope. You don't magically just become "good with girls". For those of us who weren't naturals, it will take some time. I was shy and awkward all the way up til I was 22 or so. But keep at it. Aim to figure out how to approach a girl. Next how to keep a conversation going. Then how to ask for a number. Its not so simple as 1 step.

But really that entire first paragraph is just so you can help yourself understand whats happening in a conversation. Its information you keep in the back of your mind. The truly important part of being good with women is the same as being good with any person, which is simply being comfortable with yourself. You can mess so many things up if you can also bring about a laugh or good time. Make yourself happy.

Forget about manufacturing some kind of plan that will make women like you. There's legit a million ways to do it. Focus on bringing out your strengths and roll with that. If a girl sees a strong, confident person they will talk about things you dont have in common. You can do it buddy.

2018-02-02T00:42:01+00:00

3.5 billion women on the planet, you get plenty of chances.

Under-your-bed · 2018-02-02T00:54:21+00:00

You have to like yourself before you can expect anyone to like you. You shouldn't live with the mentality that you have to be good with girls, whatever that means. Just be yourself, do what makes you happy and treat everyone with respect. Don't take rejection personally. Stop comparing yourself to your friends. Smile and enjoy life.

goldhawk2020 · 2018-02-02T01:09:22+00:00

all women seem to have some special infrared vision that tags guys they can fck. Seriously don't waste your life on this. Find your true goals and interests and enjoy your life through that.

throw_away_-_2016 · 2018-02-02T01:17:44+00:00

Here's how I look at that issue-set when I'm thinking about it.

Suppose you were trying to count to 1,000,000 from 0 at an increase of 1 number counted per second. That would take you a little under 12 days with no breaks, no rest and no mistakes. If you were annoyed at the difference between two sequential numbers you'd have a damn tough time getting through 1 Million.

as for any significant learning based goal it'll probably take several hundred to several thousand trials to adequate learn. Keep moving forward but don't succumb to trigger panic while "practicing"

In short, keep your eyes on the prize and stay focused and calm + believe in your process ( if its one that works. If not, optimize.)

I hope this helped!

nobody2000 · 2018-02-02T03:05:35+00:00

Most of us have been there.

Honestly, the only way to get better, is to keep reading, and keep failing. When I was your age all the way until I was probably 25ish, I was terrible with girls. Sure - I got laid here and there, but it was probably via the definition of "getting lucky."

Once I started really putting myself out there, being goofy, not caring, smiling, making more eye contact, things began to click.

By the time I was 27, and this is after some slow progress, so don't think this is gonna take you years, everything came very natural. It was as if things slowed down, and I could control everything.

I knew how to manage lulls in the conversation. I knew how to keep things going. I knew how to start things up in ways that made me interesting, not off-putting.

Practice is really your way in. And just don't try and fail for the sake of failing. Get frustrated. Agonize over how you fucked up, and of course ask yourself "what could have been done to make that better?"

At first you start piecemealing this stuff - "oh if she does this, I'll do this. If I do this, then I need to follow up with that." It was clunky, but it evolved into a mindset.

You don't have that mindset - but it's okay. If you keep trying, testing, and adjusting - it'll develop.

CrownChief · 2018-02-01T20:27:25+00:00

Its cool, you're 19 and its normal. Men get more attractive as they mature and you will see a lot better results in your late 20s and early 30s. Doesn't mean you still can't get laid before that time frame, just don't expect to be a mac daddy before then. The most important tool you need to succeed is self awareness. Read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, you the master the teaching in that book and you'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

cptmcclain · 2018-02-02T01:39:17+00:00

As soon as you realize that women are a burden rather than a benefit they will start flowing. Focus on success, focus on making money, focus on what you want to accomplish. When you start getting success that is when leaches will want you. But you don't want leaches, you want someone that makes you better and you are not going to find that sitting on your ass. If you are looking for a cheep lay then just go to Bangkok or night clubs where the hot ladies are a dime a dozen. But I can tell you this. It always gets old, no matter who you win over.

I_Main_TwistedFate · 2018-02-02T05:50:59+00:00

Thanks everyone for amazing answer

Maikowski2 · 2018-02-02T13:32:10+00:00

Your problem is being 19 years old. Women prefer older guys. Hit on 14 year olds for now.

juicetina · 2018-02-02T02:50:25+00:00

You need to change your perspective/attitude. Rejection is obviously not the preferred outcome, but it's a possibility nonetheless. Try to view each rejection as an opportunity to reflect and learn from instead of taking it personally and assuming there is something wrong with you. Unpack the "I have to be good with girls" mentality. Ask yourself why? Once you got that answer, ask why again. And a third time. If your conclusion is not based in reality then work on reframing your thoughts/beliefs. If your conclusion is based in reality (doubtful) then there is no other option but to tolerate/cope with it.

As an experiment, next time instead of worrying about sucking at conversations/looking for common interest in the hopes of getting a girl to like you, do the exact opposite. Try to get a girl to not like you. Try to set the record for having the least amount of things in common. Try, on purpose, to have a bad conversation with someone (without being mean). See what happens. See if it lowers the pressure of having to be good at it.

Liu_Wang · 2018-02-01T16:27:07+00:00

There is a fucking reason you keep getting rejected and rejected, brah. You're the organism whose genes doesn't get passed on. It is science. You need to figure out why you're a reject and work to change that or else the bloodline stops with you, brah.

The problem is a combination of your inner game, appearance, money, and social status. If you had at least one of those things taken care of you'd get some pussy. But no. You wanna play video games and jerk off to Asian porn all day.

Title	How do i stop getting so fustrated how bad i am with girls?
Author	I_Main_TwistedFate
Upvotes	71
Comments	50
Date	February 1, 2018 4:15 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7ujt7g/how_do_i_stop_getting_so_fustrated_how_bad_i_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-getting-so-fustrated-how-bad-i-am.1440985 https://theredarchive.com/post/1440985

Comments