How do you become self assured, self confident and charismatic?

ResponsibilityOk5490 · 2022-06-03T17:22:06+00:00

To become self confident, you actually need to increase your value. True self confidence happens when there is a minimized mismatch between your ideal and actual self.

Charisma on the other hand is easier to develop. If you are confident on the inside, you will be naturally charismatic, but that’s not the only way to be charismatic. You can learn and consciously practice dominant body language and learn ways of talking to people. You can read the book “How to win Friends and Influence People”. It gives you useful, practical, step-by-step instructions on how to be a more like-able person.

Another way to be charismatic is to look at people that you find charismatic and simply imitate their behavior. If you hear someone saying a cool joke, go use that joke in a different social setting and people will have no idea you copied it. You can also watch celebrity talk shows and imitate any sort of charismatic behavior that you see there.

cronasminate · 2022-06-03T19:04:35+00:00

Everyone wants to be charismatic but no one wants to go through the trouble of actually building the foundation of confidence. You build confidence by succeeding. You succeed by using your talents in solving problems and moving forward. You build your talents by putting in 10,000 hours of trial and failure in becoming a master at something.

Everyone comes here asking for a one time solution. Just like a lot of things worth getting in life, the shit worth having take years to build. Then some loser suggests a book to read to make you think you are actually getting somewhere. Just fix your shit, and make new shit. Then you'll realize you are pretty freaking awesome. Keep doing this and you'll have deep immovable confidence. The truth is not everyone can be confident because a lot of people have no talents, so a lot of guys are simply delusional or fake confidence. Don't go for that easy route go for real confidence.

bonix · 2022-06-03T19:42:02+00:00

Stop caring what other people think. Be selfish with your time, do things that you enjoy. Don't be afraid of failure.

Smokeythemagickamodo · 2022-06-03T15:44:58+00:00

Get in the gym, meet people despite possibly being awkward (a job that requires you to frequently interact with others is a great shortcut to helping you with being comfortable around other people, toxic people excluded, learn to not get baited by these people).

You have to learn to let your conscious mind go and just let the words come. Understanding when to throw in a joke or be flirty if the situation is open for it helps you become charismatic.

Let go of your fear, no one will attack you. Let go of the fear that people may not like you. Be and get comfortable with yourself regardless of what others think of you. They may think you’re strange at first, but who cares, who isn’t strange?

Eventually things will come more naturally and people will perceive that. When that happens they will see you relaxed and they will be more relaxed themselves resulting in a more normal conversation.

Remember most interactions are brief and fleeting. You don’t lose Karma or get spanked if someone doesn’t like you.

If a situation is odd or goes poorly, don’t beat yourself up. Just laugh it off and learn from it. Don’t try too hard either, people catch on quick and won’t like you as much.

Last step, positive attitude and try to have fun or be chill with everything you do. If you do get stressed or depressed take time to yourself and recharge.

rhofire · 2022-06-03T20:11:48+00:00

Focus on what you want out of life. When you interact with people, pay attention to them.

Self-confidence comes from going after what you want and challenging yourself.

But, the hardest part is, accepting yourself regardless of how other people feel about you or what they think about you.

Most people who ask your question want to be liked. That's the biggest obstacle to becoming self-confident.

Kronuk · 2022-06-03T20:24:00+00:00

A small tip I can give you is just start making more decisions. Don't ask others what you should do, but always focus on becoming a leader any opportunity that presents itself. Everything in life comes down to the small decisions you make. Choose to do what's best for yourself, take care of yourself, and never stop learning or improving yourself and you will find that confidence will follow when you truly realize that you can shape yourself into the strongest version of yourself possible. The obstacles become your form of learning. The struggles are what harden you. Be selfish.

methmonkeysyrup · 2022-06-04T03:36:14+00:00

Rule #1: never take a girl you haven’t banged yet to lunch/dinner. It’s an awkward date, makes you look newbie-ish, and is a surefire way to get friend zoned.

Women place men in one of two categories: lover or provider. Buying a girl a fancy dinner immediately puts you in the provider role.

Provider role = no pussy.

NastyMonkeyKing · 2022-06-04T08:40:17+00:00

Do something you've always wanted to do. Not about the money.

But fucking put yourself full fucking force out there. Don't give a fuck what people think of you. Do the thing you've always wanted to do and be the image of the person you've always wanted to be.

Use your depression and sadness of what you don't have as motivation. To get everything you've ever wanted. And tell yourself everyday. I'm a man who gets what I want cuz I fucking work hard and nothing will stop me.

I'm a man who gets what I want because I won't be stopped.

When you wanna break down and cry. Say that to yourself.

Every day. Over and over. And then act on it. Do all the hard things. Knowing that living you're life as a no one who doesn't get what he wants hurts more than any rejection or failure.

I'm a man who gets what I want because I won't be stopped. Every day. Every time you struggle.

Learn to believe you're the main character of your life. And if you won't be someone else will and that's fucking dumb.

It's worked for me

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-03T18:01:20+00:00

Women have only one game. Their game can be summed up as "omg, men only want one thing, all men are pigs who treat me like a piece of meat, and I'm not this kind of girl".

Steal their game and use it against them and your confidence and success will skyrocket.

5ive_Rivers · 2022-06-03T19:09:14+00:00

There are YouTube channels awaiting your subscription. I follow Charisma On Command. Filter by most viewed is a good start ☺️

vardarac · 2022-06-03T20:26:17+00:00

Make learning how to socialize your #1 goal. Think of all interactions and failures as like bouldering in a rock gym; a fun learning process even though you will eat shit most times at first.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-06-04T00:17:03+00:00

Be in shape and do things that out you outside your comfort zone on a regular basis. Both easier said than done

DiamondRider21 · 2022-06-04T02:23:38+00:00

By making your life a little bit better at a time. Even if that means finding work you actually enjoy Going out and finding hobbies you can enjoy with others even if you aren't that sociable. It takes a lot of time and dedication. 🙂

peduxe · 2022-06-04T08:24:08+00:00

Get in shape and hella CBD.

Just joking. You might have have a charismatic version of yourself that doesn’t come out due to fear of what others might think.

The way you combat that is speaking to literally everyone and try to brighten every interaction you have with them.

It will most likely suck the first times but trust me having positive thoughts at all times is the answer to be charismatic in every move you do.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-06-04T10:25:39+00:00

I'd say its 2 different parts, your social skills, and your personality.

I'd say it's 2 different parts, your social skills, and your personality. Usually, if I think of what are some traits of guys who are always in the center of the attention, have girl options, and people like to hang out with them I might think of several things like not giving a fuck about other opinions, confidence, having fun personality and so forth so you just simply have to be that guy. 2 things that I'd keep in mind. Start small and focus on your actions. As an overthinker myself I know that every time that I know that I should do something but I start to think about it the less likely that I'm gonna do that thing that I know I should so here's the 5-second rule. whenever you see an opportunity like a pretty girl walking by, you feel like you wanna engage in a conversation just don't think anything at all just start to count 1,2,3,4,5 and do it and do your best. A simple truth that you might also be considered. As long as you're doing the same actions, and thinking the same thought you gonna be the same person for the rest of your life. So you have to start acting differently and thinking differently. How you think of yourself usually reflects how people respond to you. Just for the start, I suggest that start small bc if you're tryna apply everything at first you can't do that consistently, you gonna blame yourself for it and then you just give up so start with the basics. The basic is fake it till you make it. It took me years to develop my confidence to that level I'm at so don't be impatient also it takes time. Several things that I tried to develop so just pick one start with that and if you're fine with that move on to the next one. How to be more fun to be around? how to be more interesting? how do be more confident? how not to give a fuck about others and how to stand up for yourself? I admit that if you have this personality and social skills it's impossible not to get girls. How to be more fun? My biggest sticking point I used to be a very serious and logical person so here are some actions that you can take. Doing something that you always wanted to try but suck at it, get used to being a beginner, and learn how to laugh about yourself if you fail if you can genuinely laugh at yourself people gonna laughing with you and not at you. Express yourself and your emotions. Whatever you wanna say, say it, even if it hurts, even if it's rude, you basically can get away with everything if you say I'm just kidding if you went too far so don't censor yourself say what's on your mind. Express emotions so if you wanna laugh at your own jokes it's fine if you wanna try out something that people might say is dumb but you'd enjoy it do it anyway and have fun with it. How to be interesting? The easiest way is if you already have an interesting life. We're programmed to do the same thing over and over again so simply break that loop. If you order from the same restaurant, try out another one, if you go home the same way, walk a bit longer and try out another one, and so forth. The simplest way btw id your tonality, if you speak slower or faster, lower or higher and if you change that you immediately gonna be more interesting. so confidence. It's pretty simple the more you do things and the more you get better at it the more confidence you gonna have. So just pick something that you're bad at, do that till you get better at it and congarst you got confidence. just a side note that if you're struggling with it and you still make it gives you even more bc you gonna know that I overcome that many obstacles in my life so whatever comes to me I know that I can solve that. How not to give a fuck about others? I got better at it but still not perfect so let's start with simply don't think. When I hear my name I immediately assume that they're talking about me in a good or in a bad way so if you catch yourself doing this shut down your brain immediately. You know who you are, their opinion doesn't change that. The next thing doesn't qualify yourself. If someone asks like why do you wear this shirt some people start to justify themselves and tryna change another opinion so you have to do the complete opposite. Like why do you wear this shirt? it's my favorite one. and that's it. Or you're being late and then you got there you'd start to qualify yourself bc this and that happened so instead just sry it won't happen again. and that's all. Last exercise Dont is a perfectionist. I'm not the best athlete even though I wanted to be, I'm not the best looking guy been though I wanted to be, I'm not the best at everything that I like so let the feeling go that you have to be good at everything, you have to look good everywhere, every time. Ofc you gonna fail and make mistakes so so many times but if I could learn how to laugh about myself after I mess up something and it doesn't affect me at all it can succeed for you too. Helps you with not qualifying yourself too. How to stand up for yourself? The hardest thing for me personally but again some exercises that might help you out and build that trait to your new and better personality. Practice saying no. As simple as it sounds. If you have to make excuses about why it's fine just simply get used to saying no. Asking for what you want. Sounds simple but harder than it seems. I have no special tactic for this one, just ask for what you want and see that nobody's gonna hurt you or nobody gonna be mad at you. Most of the time. Tell the truth. Sounds simple but simply if you hear something that isn't true, you know that but the other person doesn't, stand up for the truth even if others dont gonna like it. It helps to figure out how to deal with potential conflicts too. Last one standing up for yourself or for others. You know your morals, what you allow others to get away with, and what you cant allow, simply let them know okay you find that funny but it's too much for me or you went too far. Just know your boundaries and stick to them, dont validate people for something that you cant get away with. People gonna respect you even more funny enough. So here's all have fun with it, dont apply all of these at first its way too much but gonna make you a more stronger, attractive person so good luck

yourcousinrafa · 2022-06-04T14:00:04+00:00

I was exactly like that. I just wrote this post that I hope can help.

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v4olvs/rookies_guide_to_overcoming_approach_anxiety/

Title	How do you become self assured, self confident and charismatic?
Author	mister_filmmaker
Upvotes	34
Comments	37
Date	June 3, 2022 3:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v41mon/how_do_you_become_self_assured_self_confident_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-become-self-assured-self-confident-and.1258067 https://theredarchive.com/post/1258067

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