How do you guys stay positive?

nintendoborn1 · 2025-11-15T17:27:08+00:00

Remind yourself you’re gonna die one day and up to then almost nothing matters. Do it and try to not worry about the fuck ups you make

Awkwardness lasts 10 seconds. Regret lasts forever

becomesharp · 2025-11-15T17:46:11+00:00

Stop making it about the outcome (getting a number, getting her to like you) focus on skill development. What did you you do better this time? Maybe it was tone , volume at approach etc.

Youre not gonna keep positivity being outcome dependent, that burns out real fast.

Cziriwska · 2025-11-15T17:28:10+00:00

I dont. Hoping for something to happen so i can finally leave this world

OpinionThink481 · 2025-11-15T17:53:05+00:00

The problem is you are not approaching women with a mindset to connect with them, you are approaching them with a mindset of seeking validation to feel like you are worth something.

So your frustration comes from that toxic mindset where you basically engage with women in such a way that you are trying to measure your worth as a man, to see if you are good enough and to hope that someone likes you.

This mindset is self-defeating. “If she is interested in me then i’m worth something, if she doesn’t like me the i’m worth nothing”…

When you prioritize connection and have an screening mindset, you don’t take rejection personally because your priority is to measure compatibility and whether she is good enough for you in an objective way, not measuring your adequacy, worth and competence as a man.

You don’t go there hoping she likes you and gives you approval, you go there hoping that you like who she is as a person. You go there to evaluate whether she is worth your time, instead of treating her as your judge and acting like you are sold on her immediately just because she is cute.

You don’t try to go there to convince her or to try to make it work or to try to get something from her, but to evaluate whether she deserves what you may or may not give her if she earns it.

Comprehensive-War-34 · 2025-11-15T18:50:12+00:00

Don’t focus on the outcome of the interaction. Just remember that no one can really reject you, if they don’t know you personally. You can only reject yourself. Also remember that the rejection is based on her perception of you, not the person you really are.

NemezizBaba · 2025-11-15T17:24:30+00:00

Just stay away from negativity and negative people, eat, sleep, work,repeat,ezz.

Also u can play pc games, or play outdoor games.

Just see women as a want not as a need, and once you control all your other types of wants life is ezz.

what595654 · 2025-11-15T17:47:31+00:00

This is a stupid approach. Stop trying to hook up..

Start trying to make lasting, meaningful relationships.

Learn to appreciate humans of all types. When you can talk to, and makes friends with everyone, you will be able to connect with women as well. You will stop looking at women as targets to conquer, and start looking at them as humans.

You will also know the difference between a woman who is just being polite, a woman who just wants to be friends, and a woman who is a potential interest.

Going out for one single goal, makes you look desperate, boring (one dimensional), and robs you of many potentially life long relationships, that may be more valuable than whatever hook up you are trying to get.

In fact, even if you do happen to get a number. Now what? You don't know or want anything but to hook up. Maybe you find a similar girl. After you have sex. Now what? Neither of you have anything to say, because neither of you are interested in anything else. That can only last so long. And besides the sex, you get very little out of it.

Relationship sex, is the best type of sex. And I don't say that, from any moral stance. Do what you want. I just say that from real life experience. One night stands are overrated. Sometimes you get lucky with someone. But, often times it just meh. Awkward, because you don't know each others bodies.

thedukejck · 2025-11-15T20:35:17+00:00

What other choice is there. The glass is half full.

askaboutblu · 2025-11-15T17:38:58+00:00

I tell my clients to develop a mindset maintenance routine. It can be whatever self care methods you want but it has to include reminding yourself why you’re that guy & why you’re a catch.

Whether it’s calling up a non-judgmental friend to vent, writing down on paper what went wrong & why ol girl sucked anyway, focusing on something that’ll push your career forward like a certification or spending time in the mirror flexing after a pump to you remember that you look good af. Shaking rejection requires you to lean on the other great aspects of your life so you approach the next woman thinking “How lucky would she be to get to be a part of this.”

Sea-Range9160 · 2025-11-15T17:40:19+00:00

So you're getting bout that's great try to see if there are little things to work on game cold approach is sales and closing is also hard as I struggle with rejection it eats at you but in time it will. It just keeps going remember you are the prize

Bullbythehorns25 · 2025-11-15T17:47:42+00:00

You don’t, life is inherently suffering. But be grateful if you’re neurotypical.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2025-11-15T17:58:47+00:00

Ignore the negative parts of game, focus on the positive parts. Learn more about the up-ward spiral. There's a section about it in hotseat@home (RSD).

Alarmed_Box1198 · 2025-11-15T18:11:46+00:00

Neither positive or negative are necessarily the answer. Focus your energy into being content and thankful with what you do have. Understand that even very successful people in all walks of life have failed multiple times over before succeeding. This goes way beyond seduction and women. Coincidentally, when you are legitimately content with yourself, women will also find you more attractive. Approach women with a sense of curiosity. Where the goal is the interaction itself and not a phone number or a date or a hookup. Everything with women has some catch 22 woven into it. The more you try to grasp at them, the more they fall through your fingers like sand.

Altruistic-Patient-8 · 2025-11-15T19:13:51+00:00

You should really just live your life without a daily quota of numbers or interaction with women in general. You set yourself up to fail. Its pressure on yourself to perform, and pressure on women to give you the answer you want. You stay positive by setting your expectations really low, and focusing on yourself.

Dynamix86 · 2025-11-15T19:22:49+00:00

Your future children will thank you for persisting.

Also, find some guys to game with and see how they are doing and learn from them and grow together

bagman_ · 2025-11-15T20:34:47+00:00

Everything is learning, there's better coming for you if you don't give up

Xtheman3 · 2025-11-15T22:09:20+00:00

Focus on what you do have! Family, fun hobby, just being alive

Freikorptrasher87 · 2025-11-15T22:23:18+00:00

Hit the gym. Exercise. Make you positive.

Osiris_Raphious · 2025-11-16T00:22:28+00:00

Comparison is theft of joy.

Learn from mistakes and move on, dont get hung up on it.

Dont have expectations, aka live in the now. Depression is akin to being stuck in the past, anxiety is about the future, live in the now. If you dont have expectations about the outcomes, or interaction you can be present in the moment and engage. Instead of chasing some idealized version of what you are looking for, accept that the world is unpredictable at times, you can do everything right and still fail, and that nobody owed you anything. There is a fine line between living free, and living in ignorance, so to plan ahead is to plan smart, you can do this without setting yourself up to fail by managing expecations, not being emotionally invested in what ever ideal reality you make up, and doing the best you can with what you have.

Then after the interaction, you analyse, absord, accept, feel, make a decision of how to improve, or not to improve. And then move on with your life. Studies have shown (allegedly as this is third hand account of this stat, but it makes sense) that people find it easier with self regulation if they focus on limiting recurcive thinking and negative self talk.

So to finish off.

Follow this simple rule for breaking bad news to yourself and others: 1 positive thing, one negative reprimand, finish with a positive thing. So if you have to break bad news or tell someone off, do this to ease the message and work with them. Same for yourself, start with positive self talk about what you did right, then what you did wrong and how to improve/change for next time. And finish with positive self talk about your success and positive outcomes gained. Then move on, dont go back into re-analysing. Avoid anlysis paralysis etc.

This applies to life, not just talking to women.

Back2theCouture · 2025-11-16T01:06:55+00:00

If you do it for a few weeks and got no result, there’s always room to rethink and redo the strategy.

Sometimes I feel the “numbers game” advice guys tell to each other can be misleading as if you gotta do it so often and so numbingly repetitive, that eventually it’d do you a favor, which is not the case most of the time.

If you do something for a while and you don’t see a positive result, challenge yourself to see what you might’ve done wrong.

justmots · 2025-11-16T02:36:51+00:00

by feeling productive

Diamondback_O10 · 2025-11-16T12:01:22+00:00

Being a man is hard.

The second you turn 13 you're competing with the president of the United States for girls your age.

Despite this, i do my best to make myself & the girl in my life smile. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Keep your head up man, your time will come. Smile through it

lastflower · 2025-11-20T07:38:50+00:00

For me, I just take a break and then come back to it.

NChSh · 2025-11-15T22:20:14+00:00

stick_it_in_your_bum · 2025-11-16T00:20:47+00:00

Each you time you experience failure - whether it’s rejection during an approach or an end of a relationship you are back to your initial state of being single. You aren’t worse off after a rejection. It’s not a setback it’s one step closer towards your goal. You are better off because you gained that tiny bit of experience and you will be better next time. Make it about enjoying the process instead of seeking immediate rewards. Focus on other things you are doing in your life that are positives. Shit even a sunny day can be enough be to positive

MathematicianSea9149 · 2025-11-15T17:31:24+00:00

To work yourself up to the point of making her give you a yay or nay is brave. I’m stuck doing warmups and therefore can’t even get a rejection. All I can say is that you can hold your head high when you try.

saryiahan · 2025-11-15T18:24:36+00:00

By getting married

BurnItDownSR · 2025-11-15T18:42:25+00:00

How do you guys stay positive?

Because I had realistic expectations and looked at things with the proper perspective.

Its kinda baffling to me that guys who always sucked with women throughout their life would get depressed after getting rejected from something as little as 20 approaches.

Like what were you expecting? You're like a noob starting a new game that's pretty challenging. I would be more understanding of guys who had a pretty successful dating history and then they try cold approach, go 0-20 and get depressed from it.

But if you're already at zero, how can staying at zero make it worse, especially when you haven't done nearly enough to move past that?

Guys seem to have this false perspective of seduction. Either they think they're already executing things perfectly (which you definitely aren't) or they just simply don't understand that this is a Soft Skill.

When you learn seduction, you're not learning formulas to input into a spreadsheet where just knowing the formula is enough to get the desired outcome.

It's more like learning dance steps where even if you have a deep understanding of them, your body will not immediately cooperate to perform those moves correctly without countless reps.

I always understood that so I never made getting numbers, dates, kisses, or sex my only benchmarks for success. If I was just making any progress at all, just like if your dance moves are coming out just a little cleaner everyday but not yet quite there yet, then I already had a reason to celebrate.

"Yeah, I didn't get a number today but damn I came up with that witty response on the fly and it felt great! Never done that before."

That should be your attitude.

Honesty, when I was starting out I was stoked about everything.

Even things as little as, "I can't believe I actually told a girl she was sexy!" or even, "I can't believe I paused that long and didn't freak out when I held eye contact with her like that!" Because I started at zero so even those little things was new ground for me.

As long as you're breaking any new ground and making any kind of forward progress, you should be celebrating.

Even if you're not yet getting a number you're still moving away from the shitty place you used to be in and moving slowly but surely into a better life.

Title	How do you guys stay positive?
Author	Brilliant_Travel3587
Upvotes	57
Comments	68
Date	November 15, 2025 5:20 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oxxbg2/how_do_you_guys_stay_positive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-guys-stay-positive.1566575 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566575

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