How do you lot fall in love?

mindfully_liberated · 2014-05-13T16:56:16+00:00

Imagine your entire love bank contains one dollar.

The first thing I would do is to break that dollar into 100 pennies.

Maybe 70 pennies, 1 quarter, and one nickel.

This gives you the ability to give people small amounts of your love, without suffering extreme loss.

You met a great girl, you giver her a penny. A week later maybe another one. Then after 6 months a nickel. You've invested 7 of your 100 cents, with the possibility of getting return back.

If you get return back, well shit, you're now at 1$, or even maybe 1.05$, y'know?

If you don't, well you can cut your losses and only lose a 7% investment. Kinda shitty, yes, but better than losing that whole dollar.

This is typically what most boys do. They want to give that dollar right away, or moreso, they actually get a few pennies from a girl, and return her investment 10X's over.

This analogy should be applied to every emotional principle of a man, from worrying about a test, to how you feel about yourself, to your friends etc.

Chop your emotional dollar up, and give it away properly.

Don't give 50 cents to something, that isn't going to return at least th 50 cents, back. You dig?

Gotta think long term small, but continuous returns.

Like the gym for example. You may have to dish out 1 or 2 cents every week, but every week you'll get that return. And eventually after 6 months, your 1 or 2 monthly deposit will start returning 10 to 15 cent monthly returns.

Make sense?

pimpin8ez · 2014-05-13T15:38:49+00:00

I personally don't feel you can truly play the seduction game and fall in love at the same time. At the core, by following "seduction guidelines" you are playing a game of manipulation with both your and her emotions.

I do think keeping in mind the principles of seductions are to your advantage since psychology is psychology and you can avoid the pitfalls of things that break the feelings of love and attraction. However, if you actively prevent "getting lost in emotion" I think you are preventing yourself from feeling true love, and I do think she'll eventually sense this as you move past the initial relationship excitement and she begins to look for commitment.

When you've found someone that you want to commit to a long term relationship, that person is likely a great match for you. If they feel the same, I don't think any sort manipulation needs to happen. You should be happy to be yourself, and they should love you for you. However, if your entire relationship has been you playing a charade, she might not know "you" and that could make things sticky when you start acting like "you." And this in my opinion is the biggest danger of the game of seduction if your end goal is a long term relationship.

In this sub's Rules & Guidelines it states: "Seduction is how to integrate specific seduction and self-improvement techniques into our long-term personalities and how to succeed at forming successful romantic relationships." I think the integration part is key. Like I said before, I do believe in the principles of seduction to keep yourself appealing to your partner, but you have to live and become these principles so that it is not a game, but rather the way you've improved yourself to be the man you now are.

SexySmexxy · 2014-05-13T17:27:06+00:00

Hey man you're doing that thing that a lot of people tend to do when they first come here which is think they have to be either a robot or a beta.

" There is power in control over your emotions."

Fair enough thats somewhat true,

Being steadfast and unwavering is beneficial to you and attractive to women.

To some women*

I've not yet mastered the ability to remain in control, while also being trusting and vulnerable enough to be able to love romantically.

Unless you were married to the person for 30 years then how can you remain fully in control of your emotions and trust them at the same time?

Trust itself is surrendering potential future emotions for the current reward of trusting them.

In my mind, getting lost in emotion because of her is a very very bad idea. Everytime I'm with a woman, I'm always guarded enough that I'm aware of what I feel but, not so influenced by those feelings as to give her "a string to tug on".

Once again, not every girl in the world is going to be like that one extreme case that some guy pulled out in a story somewhere else on r/seduction.

Invariably, I end up not developing feelings for her (not saying I want to, either).

Please don't become another r/seduction robot

I just don't trust that those women will want to stick around and pur effort fourth to satisfy me if I show them a moment of weakness.

You don't live in the savannas of Africa.

As such, I don't see the value or the pleasure in falling in love.

Well you never will unless you surrender your emotions.

Humans are not meant to be robots!

To me, it just seems like a means to set yourself up for massive heartache.

Thats the exact same thing as saying car journey are a means to set yourself up for a horrific car accident.

Obviously you're scared of the pain of having your heart broken, but does that mean you're going to be on edge with every girl you are with just because of the possibility you'll fall for them and somewhere down the line they'll break your heart?

Love is a pretty amazing emotion and it's a real shame that you're purposefully choosing to lock down that emotion.

If you come to /r/seduction to bang some chicks and what not then i don't know why you posted this.

If you came to /r/seduction to improve yourself, as not only a ladies man, but as a person in general the one best piece of advice i can give you is to surrender your emotions.

You need to be in control of your actions, not your emotions. If you don't allow yourself to feel all emotions then what seperates you from a piece of technology?

You receive inputs from this subreddit and turn them into outputs in the real world and you repeat with nothing in between or after and that's not what this subreddit is about and it's an unhealthy way to live your life!

remember_who_you_are · 2014-05-13T17:25:31+00:00

Love is strange. It's hard to play the seduction game with love. Sure follow the seduction guidelines but when it usually happens when you emotionally invest in another person. That's why I've often fallen in love with my friends...

illusiveab · 2014-05-13T18:14:36+00:00

Because love is a self-concept - it is something you have with or without her but is formed particularly in her direction and image for as long as it lasts. It's something built and shared out of the substantiality and commitment to yourself and your interests. Love that centers and hinges on unbalanced emotional attachment is reckless and unpredictably toxic.

joshsway · 2014-05-13T18:18:54+00:00

There's nothing wrong with falling in love. But very important: ONEITIS is not love.

shitsfuckedupalot · 2014-05-13T18:32:23+00:00

Theres a girl ive been playing a long con with that very much could fall in love with me, any day now. Until then though, i try different avenues.

lasagnaman · 2014-05-13T18:44:54+00:00

It will cause heartache. That's the whole point of being vulnerable.

HowDoesOneAdult · 2014-05-13T18:58:56+00:00

SilentSocrates · 2014-05-13T19:12:27+00:00

Sounds like you can't trust women. Seems you a have already decided it will end badly and because you focus in on this, it happens. If you can't be yourself around these "women" then either you're not ready for a relationship or you're hanging around the wrong people or have not finished growing as a person and need to mature through experience and advice like everyone else. Also, love take time. Forget love at first sight or even love after 6 months. It takes years to build a relationship strong enough for love to flourish. Think of your best and closest friends. Years and years until they truly loved you. Same deal with a romantic relationship. Stop looking for love and start improving yourself. this will show that you love yourself and are capable of loving others.

bilabrin · 2014-05-13T19:56:33+00:00

In my humble opinion you'll fall in love with the one who both impresses and challenges you. You also have to have a high level of relatability. I don't think pick-up is incompatable with love it just raises the bar....which may be a good thing.

JUST_MY_OPINION_YO · 2014-05-13T20:03:50+00:00

I'm going to start this by saying that I don't really follow any of the "seduction" rules (not intentionally anyway). I don't know what you guys are talking about with the HB8 talk or overthink situations with women. That being said I used to be a champ at this seduction-type lifestyle. Me and some friends who were also good with the ladies would go on bar crawls and see how many girls we could hook up with and get numbers (one friend in particular and I would often get up in the double digits). It was all just one big game - AND I LOVED IT. I'm not saying this to brag or anything, just to give you the idea of who I was and how uninterested in love I was.

One day, while I was still big into the hookup lifestyle, I met a girl and something just sort of clicked. I knew I was into her but was hesitant to even admit to myself that I remotely liked her. Before I knew it I was going on dates with her (something I never did.. Even when I got numbers from girls I would never bother to contact them ever again because I knew I'd just hook up with more the next time I went out). We hung out consistently for a few months and I stopped going out and hooking up with girls (I believe in loyalty if you find something worth while). Eventually we started dating and we've been together for 2 years now. Love that girl with all my heart.

What I'm trying to say (perhaps badly.. I'm operating on 90 minutes of sleep today - so forgive me haha) is that you can use this seduction lifestyle to have fun, develop confidence, learn social skills, and not worry about life to much. When you find something that might be worth it to you, ease into it. You'll find love when your ready to.

Graviest · 2014-05-14T07:44:13+00:00

You are going to end up very lonely. Heartache is the risk you run opening up to anybody. Love is a reward far more pleasurable than a billion meaningless flings. Ive played both sides of the coin and know what I am specifically looking for in a person to love. But it is not at all meaningless. Both can be wonderful, but one is fleeting and the other can last, if you arent selfish.

ADP_God · 2014-05-14T10:46:21+00:00

As a person who gets fucked over every time I invest into a girl, I try not to invest into girls at all, until I am dating them seriously. This way, I can have fun with any girl I like without emotional attachment, and if I'm dating a girl who breaks up with me quickly I won't have had time to get attached.

P.S. In my opinion, love is in the head of the guy, and once it is established there it takes hold very strongly. Don't make her more than she is in your head, and don't put her on an imaginary pedestal.

lord_of_vader · 2014-05-14T12:47:11+00:00

I don't think it exists. We allow ourselves to succumb to powerful emotions, and then call it "love".

All relationships are a give-and-take. They have to be mutually beneficial at some degree between two people. Yeah that sounds shitty. It is.

Selfsatisfaction · 2014-05-13T17:30:18+00:00

You cannot truly prevent yourself from falling in love, and you shouldn't try to. You just have to be steadfast in never letting your emotions influence your actions.

You also have to be aware enough about yourself to know what love is. If you've been seeing the same person for a year or two and not even attempting to initiate intimacy with anyone else, then you are most likely just co-dependent and attached. If you are currently dating and sleeping with 4+ women and one really stands above the rest, then you may just be in love.

Title	How do you lot fall in love?
Author	jonjt
Upvotes	64
Comments	60
Date	May 13, 2014 2:43 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/25g9hm/how_do_you_lot_fall_in_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-lot-fall-in-love.1370712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1370712

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