How do you talk to ‘basic’ girls?

thesubconsciousmale · 2022-07-18T15:52:54+00:00

I’m guessing your communication style is that of a typical dude. You are used to communicating linearly and as a method of conveying and relaying information. You’ve gotta get outside that paradigm. You have to treat talking like dancing. It has no exact purpose other than to enjoy it. It will be a lil weird at first. But you’ve gotta get used to talking about nothing in a way that is fun and exciting FOR YOU. It’s a skill you have to practice. When I’m not feeling social before going out, or even if I’m just going through a rough time at work and haven’t been as social - I use an app “RapScript” which gives you random words. I will sit in traffic and talk (yes - out loud) trying to either talk about the word that’s generated, or I will just try to use the word as I’m talking. I got the idea from Austen Summers on YouTube, and the first few times I tried it I felt so dumb. But it works. It doesn’t matter what you say, you just need to work on saying things that aren’t your standard “how was your day”. As you go on you’ll get better at making what you’re saying engaging and funny. You’ll have to because the sound of your own voice will bore you to death. You need to work on removing the filter and just saying whatever you want. I went on a date Friday with this girl who was kinda shy and ‘basic’ I spewed bullshit for 4 hours with her, mixing in some basic get to know you type stuff - but I talked about everything. Shark attack show on the tv? Talk about what kind of shark I’d be and how she would be my shark wife. Bar tender has a mustache? Start convo with him about it and tell her she’d look good with a mustache, but you’re glad she doesn’t cuz it’d turn you on too much. Launch into tirade on guys growing mustaches cuz of the new top gun movie. Literally whatever man. Just get outside your head and talk. You got this

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-07-18T15:36:58+00:00

Just tease them, challenge them, accuse them of absurd things, act like you don’t trust them, provoke them, exagerare things or your reactions, scare them as a playful joke, imitate their behaviour, mannerisms, tone, gestures, use sarcasm, mess with them like you would to your little brother.

Ryzonixx · 2022-07-18T16:26:49+00:00

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Cantsleepperson · 2022-07-18T20:29:34+00:00

Think of it as good practice. If you can crack their shell you probably will develop mad conversation skills.

Total_Obligation_371 · 2022-07-18T16:55:56+00:00

3 things

1) Ask questions. When they answer, ask follow up questions or pick a random word/thought in her response and ask about that.

2) Be fine talking more about yourself and going on long ass rants. Shy/quiet girls usually like it when a guy does all the talking. Don't look for equal input or use her lack of contributing to convo as lack of interest. She's probably just shy or boring.

3) Be fine with silence sometimes. Sometimes there's just nothing to say. I've gone on plenty of dates where I have 30+ seconds of silence sometimes.

firelitother · 2022-07-18T23:42:20+00:00

Is there a guide to small talk?

Most people recognize that it is an essential skill but I have yet to see any guides that is not vague or rhetorical

ej1352 · 2022-07-18T15:09:04+00:00

I wouldn’t waste my time talking to someone who you can’t have a normal adult conversation with.

runaround_fruitcop · 2022-07-18T16:38:15+00:00

They're not basic. They're just not your cup of tea. Move on to people you actually have things in common with. She's probably thinking the same thing about you. It's not harsh or bad yall don't click. Nothing wrong with either of you. Just non meshing personalities

cronasminate · 2022-07-18T18:53:40+00:00

How do you differentiate a basic girl from a non-basic girl?

Bosscat727 · 2022-07-19T00:51:33+00:00

What exactly is “small talk” as opposed to something with “substance”? I’m asking because basic stuff like talking about the day and weather often can lead to bigger conversations if you take it there.

raimondi1337 · 2022-07-19T06:45:41+00:00

You just have to suck it up and watch the occasional superhero movie, keep up on current events, go i that new restaurant near you that has 100 ads posted, etc. if you wanna be able to talk to normies that aren't interested in your hobbies.

AngeloMacon · 2022-07-18T16:51:06+00:00

If you mean boring and not socially awkward, it is more on you. Yeah, yeah, it is a man's job to steer the conversation. You have to spit ball a bit until you stumble upon a topic that interests her. And if you're like most guys, a cute girl who is really excited to talk to you about something, anything at all, will be interesting.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-18T19:12:06+00:00

Comment on clothes, shoes, jewelry etc... "That's a different necklace, does it mean anything?"

Its a good way to break the ice, unless they're naked. Then you should probably talk about ancestry.

sansblonde · 2022-07-18T20:00:54+00:00

Small talk is not hard.

-Favorite food. Favorite restaurant. Etc.

-Favorite place they've traveled. Where do they want to travel next?

-What did they want to be when they grew up? How does that compare to their current career choice, etc.

-Zodiac/Astrology stuff. Bitches love that.

-Favorite movie/tv show, etc.

-Celebrity crush and that kinda nonsense.

And then just be able to chat with them on some of their answers...

Scary_Childhood3574 · 2022-07-18T20:56:52+00:00

As someone who also hates small talk, I’ve found my best success literally saying “I hate small talk let’s talk about politics” or whatever thing of substance you’d like to talk about. I’ve been told it’s a breath of fresh air from the usual “where are you from? Oh no way! I have a loose connection to something you’re saying!”. If you’re looking for conversations of substance, bring substance to the table

xiosy · 2022-07-18T15:06:29+00:00

It’s really strange what social media has done to men Like girls are literally seen as gods nowadays it’s really sad what happened

WiiWynn · 2022-07-18T22:07:17+00:00

You sound rather judgmental of the ‘dance’. Treat it like a mini game. It’s not fun because you’re not very good at it. And the only way to get good is to practice. So start chatting up EVERYONE with small talk. Experiment. You’ll find your stride.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-18T15:06:20+00:00

I find that people who scoff at small talk or even dressing attractively are just severely socially retarded.

Pretend_Tadpole8833 · 2022-07-18T21:51:49+00:00

SIMPLE! JUST BE BASIC, INSTINCTIVELY!

iforgotmysn · 2022-07-19T06:07:05+00:00

Topics to talk about: FORD. Family/family (imo food goes here). Occupation. Recreation. Dreams.

Granted this is the general rule of thumb for dating but if you want to avoid that small talk or snowball it into substance aim for one of these letters. Or if the conversation grows organically in a different direction, go with it!

The art of conversation can be a tricky beast but once it clicks, it's nice. It takes reading the room, certain confidence, and circumstances. Also compliments.

For example, small talk is usually weather chats, traffic, the "day" which can lead into any of the letters. Create that substance, share things in which you might want them to share...(name of first dog, mother's maiden name, normal stuff lol)

Make more statements if you can. Match their energy or try to bring out more of their energy. Also understand if they aren't as responsive, it's nothing personal.

You: "Hot weather we're having." Their response: yeah lol

You: last weekend was perfect weather, my friends and I had some bbq Them: oh cool

If they don't bite or try to share, you can try a question or two. Otherwise, stop before you break your back carrying a conversation or an interview. Some "basic girls" can take some time but if they vibe with you, they'll help with the conversation and it should flow.

2022-07-19T07:18:37+00:00

I don’t really enjoy at the best of times, but if there’s actually something with substance to talk about - whatever that may be - I’m fine.

This mentality doesn't make sense. You act like the deep conversations begin out of nowhere. They ALWAYS start with small talk. It's basic human socialization. It's how you get a feel and chemistry (friendship or romantic).

do you just jump into discussing your views on controversial topics out of the blue with strangers? no. in reality, there is no aversion to small talk. it's a fake characteristic that's made up by people who have social anxiety to pretend they don't blame that it's just small talk they don't like.

yeah there are people who don't like small talk, but that isn't for relationships or meeting women. that's for people who work in business or somethin and it's their professional career like C-suite execs (but even those guys know to small talk when they have to).

How do you just, endlessly small talk in a non try hard way, that also works towards building attraction and intention?

Well it's pretty easy, change your mindset. Don't look at it as small talk. it's about listening and engaging to people. it's about having interest in every person and thinking they have something to offer to you by conversation until they prove otherwise. it's about thinking everyone has something to offer to you even if it's a 2 minute conversation. when you have genuine interest in everyone, and they recipricate how would conversation not just flow?

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-07-19T08:22:28+00:00

You're probably an introvert like I am, I specifically don't like Smalltalk either but if you wanna make friends and get phone numbers you have to get used to it even if it's not the most interesting thing to talk about. I got better at it over the few years so here's how:

meditation and being present - I realized that Smalltalk is basically what you do and who are you doing it with so it was an issue for me that I didn't even care what I did, I just did my things, and my hobbies because I felt like I simply have to so there's was no presence, no excitement, no emotion, just doing things on autopilot over and over again so here's a mindset shift. Once you start to do something that you ideally enjoy, just be present about it, like if you go to the gym, don't think about your ex, don't think about what you gonna eat next, don't think about you gonna be late if you didn't finish your workout early enough. If I was at the gym I was only at the gym, with all my thought, presence, and attention, if you're doing something that important to you or you just enjoy doing it's even better.

Reframing. If I didn't enjoy doing something or being with someone I reframed it for myself and then I could enjoy it better than I do normally so it's just all about your focus and attention. Like I was shopping to buy a few clothes. I normally hate it waiting in line, dressing up and down over and over again so I bring some friends and I just tried to simply have a good time, you can even find out small challenges that make it more interesting or exciting. If you enjoy doing it you can talk about it much better so it makes you more interesting at least and you less gonna feel like it's such a waste of time.

Its usually just the beginning of conversations once you got run out of things you could say you can switch the topic to something that you're really interested in

serialkiller_mne · 2022-07-19T11:33:44+00:00

I struggle with this, so I just act like a basic bro from my city. They are usually chatty and flirty in a simple way so it ain't a bad strategy for me

kathruins · 2022-07-19T12:42:32+00:00

i found The Art of Conversation by Judy Apps incredibly helpful with this. there is always common ground to be found.

derivativesnyc · 2022-07-19T12:54:19+00:00

Watch Craig Ferguson flirt w/ his female guests

Title	How do you talk to ‘basic’ girls?
Author	Silential
Upvotes	88
Comments	58
Date	July 18, 2022 3:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w21i1z/how_do_you_talk_to_basic_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-talk-to-basic-girls.1254175 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254175

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